Signal boost: Mortal · 5:01am Apr 19th, 2013
The story that my nemesis Benman has been working on for the better part of a year, Mortal, just hit FIMFic. It's riding the tailwind of an Equestria Daily feature and his own three-digit followers list, so it shouldn't need my help reaching the featurebox — but I want to stop and talk about it for a moment, because it is a good story and will reward the time you spend.
Here is how it begins:
The carriage wheels tore up small clumps of sod as they rolled through the cemetery, slowing to a halt before a row of pristine marble tombstones.
The unicorn pulling the carriage shrugged the harness over his rich vermilion coat and, with a heavy sigh, let it fall to the ground. His breath steamed faintly in the autumn air. He ambled to the side of the carriage and opened the door. “We’re here, Mom,” he said.
“Thank you, darling,” came the response from inside. “Help me down, please.”
An elderly white unicorn tottered out of the carriage, leaning heavily on her son as she went. Her withered legs were barely thicker than her horn, except for the swollen joints at knee and shoulder. Her mane was the same arresting violet it had been in her youth, but the chemicals Rarity used to maintain its color and shape had left the hairs thin and brittle. She wore an overcoat and shawl against the cold, all in black.
On her other side, she was supported by an old friend. Fluttershy’s body showed few signs of her age; although her mane had faded to a rose-tinted white, she moved with the grace and power of a mare of forty.
From that start, a bad author would have dumped out 3,000 to 5,000 words of sadfic about the despair of losing friends and called it a day. A good author would have churned out a harder-hitting, slightly longer sadfic about life's transitions, showing us how the next generation had stepped up to fill the gaps the Mane Six left behind and exploring how Princesscorn Twilight learned to move beyond loss.
Ben didn't stop there. He has a character ask: "Why are we dying?"
Don't let the descriptions of old ponies fool you. This is a story about power, responsibility, and consequences. There is loss. There is change. But the things that pull at your heart — the memorial in the prologue, the wedding in Chapter 1, the births and deaths and relationships to come — are not the point of the story: they are the stakes, and the story is at its heart about a decision that must be made.
Go check out Mortal. (Just don't tell my nemesis I sent you. He's a sharp one. Say too much and he'll figure out my ulterior motives.)
Your move, my old foe.
I hope you don't mind if I quote you in the description.
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Mwahaha! And it was the 2.4 readers I gained you which … um … pushed it from the top, to slightly further at the top. My evil plan unfolds.
Also, wow: the story's comments section has gone apeshit. I don't think this is quite going to become Biblical Monsters, but you've clearly pushed a button. As daunting as it is to see, though, I think (hope) it's a good sign. It means your readers are invested in the question you're asking.
Quote away.
And that's just from the beginning! You know what's coming. The reaction will be bananas.
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I will say only: I predict Peak Crazy at Chapter 4.*
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* What, y'all thought I'd drop an actual spoiler in public?
I'm rooting for the Narnian approach, myself: what we are now is a glimpse of what we will be.
Still, I expected the above-mentioned synopses: procedural-level and tactical-level stories. Horizon promises that it is strategic-level, universe-defining, and so... it goes on my ever-more-massive to-read list. For which I am now googling used, cheap e-readers. (I will NOT keep a new Kindle beside the white throne.)