Ah, grammar. · 3:56pm Apr 14th, 2013
Here's the examples I was given of how I messed up the spelling/capitalization/comma use:
>Cadence
Canon spelling is Cadance.
>Changeling Queen
Neither of these words should be capitalized.
>Spike materialized next to her, and fell off the log.
In compound predicates, there is no comma before the conjunction holding it together.
Hope those examples help.
As for the first one, I have no answer except "but Cadence is a real word, and Cadance isn't". And that's a poor defence, so that's been changed.
The second one... I think it's because I'm British. See, titles ARE capitalized when (and only when) they're in the "shape" of their honorific form. "he's the Lord of the Isles/ the Duke of Wellington /Prince of Wales" are correct, but it is also right to say that "he's a lord/Arthur Wellsey is a duke/Charles is a prince". So it's tricky. And I've decided that "Changeling Queen" is a regnal title in that specific form, much like "King of the Germans".
The third one is because of the mix of comma rules I've been exposed to. Too many US books, coupled with being educated in UK rules. Any idea how I could make the sense of that sentence clear (Spike materializes, pause, falls off log) without screwing up the grammar or making it sound stilted?
My grammar isn't the best, but I think the third example is incorrect because you have a comma and the word 'and' in the same sentence.
1007275
The University of Sussex disagrees with you, as it happens...
If you're not sure about your commas, you can check them by using these rules. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Can the comma be replaced by and or or?
2. Is it followed by one of the connecting words and, or, but, yet or while?
3. Does it represent the absence of repetition?
4. Does it form one of a pair of commas setting off an interruption which could be removed from the sentence?
1007279 That's why I think a universal system would be the best for spelling and grammar, it'll eliminate a good majority of the confusion. My North American mind reads that example and makes my feel as though it's... wrong.
1007282
This is of course the system used in England, because it's English. Or, if you rather, we could use the system of the seventeenth century - where All Important Words were Capitalized, Regardless of their True Position, and Furthermore the Use of Commas was most Prolific)
Alright, then. We'll go back to the original system.
(
I would stick to my guns on the Cadence thing.
1010005
I have admitted that that one is a mistake - after all, it's canon. But it DOES feel very wrong... I mean, Celestia and Luna are names which, if not words in and of themselves, are very close to words (Celestial, Lunar), and which convey their portfolios. There's a reason that the third alicorn was thought to be associated with music (Cadence-d) and, hell, it's the pun in the episode plot!
(Chrysalis is a "Deceptive Cadence" - meaning, a song with the last note in the wrong key... which is exactly how B.B.B.F.F. was performed the second time!)
1010059
Yes, but i theorize that the reason it's spelled with an A in 'canon' is that some marketing drone was an idiot and misspelled it.
it's never spelled at all in the actual show, much less with an A
1010147
Makes sense. (After all, that kind of thing caused some fairly severe issues until they decided that Lulamoon had to be Trixie's surname...)
But try telling Equestria Daily's pre readers that.
Actually, I might give it a go...
1010164
once you fix everything, say that "it's not a mistake, that is simply how i choose to spell it.
If everything else is fixed, i cannot see how they could possibly fault you for that one thing.
1011000
They haven't even sent it to the pre readers yet...
In any case, I've been told that the referral guy is "fairly sure" that Cadance is the spelling in "most official materials".
1011007
Hasbro almost always spells it Cadance. The show credits, however, spell it Cadence. As such, both are canon ;) So if you want to keep spelling it Cadence, direct the guy to go look at the show credits.
I will say this much though, having read over the first part of your story: You're going to get rejected due to your conversation grammar. Both the inclusion of action tags inside conversation and the handling of conversation attributions (he said, she yelled) is handled incorrectly. I'd suggest checking out EZN's guide. It has good examples on what and what not to do.
Some examples:
Period after Fang should be a comma. 'The' should be lowercase.
Need a comma after 'said'.
Also, some other errors I noticed in the first part I read:
Missing comma after 'pet' and probably after 'Owlowicious' as well.
The second sentence should either be part of the first one or else it needs a subject for 'looked'.
Unnecessary comma that divides verb (continued) from its subject (she).
Each item of a list longer than two items should have a comma after it, other than the last one. So this should have a comma after 'feet'.
Its is possessive, like his and hers. No apostrophe needed.
You've got an action tag inside of conversation here, and it doesn't flow well with the period after 'starters'. This really should be like one of the following:
Twilight's hoof pointed into the sky. "Well, for starters, that."
"Well, for starters," –Twilight's hoof pointed into the sky– "that."
"Well, for starters..." Twilight’s hoof pointed into the sky. “That.”
Personally, I'd go with the first option or third.
1020547
Gah, those commas. I'm a Brit, who has been exposed to a lot of American media, so my comma rules are all turned inside out. That said, I've sought assistance from a pre reader on the matter so hopefully that'll help.
I find pickiness over precise comma rules, especially in dialogue, to be almost annoying. I often use punctuation in speech as much to show how the person is speaking as anything - awkwardness resulting in stilted speech, say. Remember, grammatically correct English is largely a construct from quite late in history to make sure that legal contracts do not have multiple interpretations, and often tries to apply rules from romance languages - while English is a fundamentally mixed Romance - Germanic language.
1020559
Yeah, commas. I got dinged comma usage a bit when I submitted one of my own stories to EQD recently ;)
There really are not many differences between American and British English rules for punctuation usage though. The ones you will run into most frequently are the type of dash to use (en vs em vs hyphen) and whether or not a period (aka full stop) or comma goes inside of quotation marks or not. For the latter, I prefer and use the British method (it goes inside the quotes if it is part of the quote, outside otherwise) as it makes sense.
The conversation stuff, like replacing full stops (<== getting all British) before conversation attributions with a comma and the need to have a comma after the 'said', those are found on both sides of the Atlantic. EQD will expect you to follow them. And keep in mind that the author of the guide, EZN, is a Brit (or at least not American).
I've found this site to be handy as well, in that it is easy to navigate, contains a lot of useful information, and both British and English rules, where they differ.
You're pretty much going to have to describe the pause between Spike materializing and the fall, probably by inserting another action in between the two, like him looking down, flailing, or floating.
Oh, and just to be clear: when I said you would get failed due to conversation grammar, I'm not talking about comma usage and such inside the conversation. I specifically mean grammar as it pertains to conversation. For a sentence like:
conversation grammar is about that comma after the last 'blah' being there rather than a full stop, the 'he' being lowercase, and so on. It is not about whatever grammar issues there might be in the "Blah blah blah" bit.
1020632
Right, I see. Like I say, I asked for a proofreader's help on it.