• Member Since 4th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 12th, 2019

Journeyman


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Feb
4th
2013

At the End Commentary: Chapter 19 · 6:53pm Feb 4th, 2013

This entry contains spoilers for its corresponding chapter of At the End. Be warned...

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<--Previous Chapter Commentary *-* Next Chapter Commentary -->
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It’s one of the drawbacks at having a fairly large cast of characters: some chapters need to be dedicated to playing catch up so everypony knows what’s going on at the same time. My usual rule of thumb with dealing with cases like this is to do a half and half chapter. I spend about half the chapter retelling events, and the next half is new ideas and story threads. This chapter relives the Crafter’s capture, but explains their policy for dealing with him and the machinations of the Endermen and Era’doth.

Originally, I had Cadance’s dream sequence go on much longer than it had. I shortened it because I had trouble writing any more than what I had written down. I couldn’t think of a way to expand what was happening. My additional problem was that I wanted to impress that what was happening was a dream without confusing the readers. I kept insisting that it was shifting and too brief to be real life, but I still feared the confusion it may cause. No, it’s not a dramatic reveal if I tell you it’s a dream in the first place. Shut up.

I just wanted a few highlights of Cadance’s life. I picked a scene where she foalsat Twilight because it sounded adorable. The next was one of the times Shining and Cadance weren’t quiet a couple just yet, but still more than just friends. It’s just a little character and world building that I like doing. Then came the Crysalis portion. Originally, I had a very specific scene happen at the end of this segment, but it didn’t quite fit just yet. I’ll delve into the more in the future. In my own headcanon, Cadance would suffer from a little PTSD from her experience. She was starved in a dark cavern for an unknown length of time; that’s bound to cause a little torment for her.

I added the scene with Butterscotch for two reasons. The first, because I already created her and might as well use her. The second was I don’t often see the interactions of royalty and faculty staff in other stories. There are servants, cooks, soldiers, hoofmaidens, advisors, blah blah blah. There are plenty of staff, but I never see royalty or nobles in these fics interact with them in any way. There is a certain submission and respect given, but there’s still a character dynamic at play. Despite Butterscotch being near the bottom of the pile in terms of rank, you can spot the camaraderie between the two.

After a brief expositional catch-up, we finally get to see Twilight’s letter everyone forgot about. So now it’s become a fairly common belief that there’s something fishy going on in the magical land of Equestria. Lieutenant General Tempest is there because one, he’s in the capital city and thus Celestia and Luna would need somepony of high rank nearby. Two, I’ll need him for later, so he’s here so no one can say I pulled him out of my ass. It’s through Twilight’s letter that the piece’s of Era’doth’s grand plan is slowly becoming known, although the suspected traitor among their ranks is actually Brimstone, not Era'doth. I’ve given you all the clues you need to know to figure out what Era'doth's plan it, where it is, and how many are going to be in a world of hurt when(if) this is over. Something awesome is going to happen in the last five chapter of the story. I’m going to have so much fun with this.

Despite not evidence to the contrary, I wanted Celestia to take Stormcloud’s suggestion that the Crafter was not too much of a threat. He’s an innocent bystander accidentally caught in the web of deception and danger of Lovecraftian gods. Celestia doesn’t know that, but I believe it to be her nature to trust in the good of people and ponies before the bad. I believe she would at least give him a chance.

That’s a piece of the reason I had her give a speech to the masses. The other reason was I place importance on inter-character interactions in my story. I’m not just having the main cast interact with the Crafter, Era’doth, and Brimstone, but all the other background ponies and the world as a whole. He’s not getting out anytime soon, so I needed to sew the seeds of different character reactions. So far, ponies have been cautiously wary of him, but I need more than that. I need emotions like anger, fear, happiness, trust, love, lust, the entire melting pot of emotion. It’s partially why I had Bon Bon stay over at Lyra’s house during Infiltration; because the Crafter attacked Lyra, her marefriend, Bon Bon is angry and fearful of him.

The final scene was incredibly fun to write, and very easy. The dialog between Azazel and Broodwing almost wrote itself. I’m familiar with quite a few groundpounders, so I see how they talk to each other. It just came so easy, and that’s what was weird. Writing is never easy for me. I agonize over even the slightest details. I changed a single one of Tempest’s lines because I feared it might give an erroneous conclusion about Era’doth’s character. That’s how paranoid I am with this.

I was stunned at how quickly the scene was written, not that I’m complaining. It’s just two guys bantering back and forth. It was cool it was fun.

Until Endy came.

Originally, I had the two of them accidentally see Endy’s eyes and die... but that just didn’t feel right, so I changed it to what it was now. Then the conclusion came, what you all were dreading. He has placed the first Eye.

What is the Endermen planning? What is his relationship to Era’doth? Why did he release Era’doth from his eternal slumber?

Until next time...

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Comments ( 9 )

The big question...
Where's he GETTING them?

794454
Who's getting what? Endy's Eyes?

794472 Yeah. As far as we know, we need to get the pearls from Endermen, and then treat them with blaze powder.

How do endermen get the pearls? Do they each have one? Are they internal organs? Do they regrow them?

Where are they getting the blaze powder?

794489
How they are made will be answered later, but as to how Endy got them?

“Simple really. I know you’re constructing a gateway to your own world, but you’re running into some trouble. The problem is, so will I at a future point in time. The bargain is I will help you complete your portal, if, in return, you complete it at a very specific point in time.” His body kicked at the belt securing his saddlebags and it fell to the ground. But instead of turning around to pick it up or move it, he dragged it in front of his field of vision, not bothering to gaze upon the presence. His body opened one of the bags, revealing it to be chock full of iridescent green gemstones, each one in the shape of a single dragon eye.

Our favorite Eldritch asshole had them.

794498 ....Well, now I feel silly.

795757
Just wait until I tell you how Ender Pearls are made. You won't sleep at night.

795770 .....they poop them, don't they?:moustache:

796254
You wish. For every plot point I write, I think to myself, "How can I turn this into Nightmare Fuel?"

796261 Good lad. That's how we do it!

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