Friendship is Card Games: Mane Event · 11:43am March 24th
So, as I have come to understand, the main G5 IDW line has been replaced by/subsumed into a series of mini-series and one-shots that feels like the equivalent of a network trying to kill a show by bouncing it around the schedule. Hopefully I’m being paranoid there.
I have also come to understand that Kenbucky Roller Derby will have at least five issues, so this week we’ll focus on a recent double-sized one-shot that will (hopefully) provide enough material to work with on its own. Let’s find out.
It is nice to see Andy Price back in the saddle, even if it’s just for the cover. A cover that raises unusual questions about hair on reptiles, but it’s far from the first time MLP’s gone in that direction.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Yes, the inside the front cover provides names for each of the stories.
I do appreciate how thoroughly uninterested the delivery pony is with… well, basically everything. He didn’t ask for your exposition, Pipp, just your signature (though that stylus precariously balanced on a hooftip really highlights the absurd lengths of tactile telekinesis in G5. They’re basically quadrupedal Powerpuff Girls.)
It’s also interesting to see a pony who doesn’t recognize Pipp on sight. Given her follower count is orders of magnitude greater than the actual population of Equestria, you’d think she’d be a household face and name… but on the other hand, I certainly couldn’t name most Internet personalities. Disconnection is certainly possible.
Also also, a delivery of beauty product samples is honestly encouraging. It means Pipp didn’t make them herself, which cuts the potential for disaster by at least half.
In any case, Pipp is watching Sparky for Hitch today for… unspecified reasons. Rocky and Jazz are off as well, which Pipp may come to regret. Reinforcements are always nice to have when dragonsitting.
“Let’s do an unboxing!”
I’m not sure what’s funnier, that Pipp always thinks in terms of content creation or that the box burst open in a massive cloud of glitter. (Actually is that even a good sign?)
Unfortunately, it seems Pipp ordered products from Zecora Cosmetics, because everything’s mixed up and nothing’s labeled. Well, not in the sense of there being words on the labels, anyway. The invoice lists Pipp’s order, but she still proposes a spa day with Sparky to determine what’s what by trying it all.
It’s a good thing there aren’t any, you know, customers today.
There is a very sweet moment where Pipp and Sparky have their singalong from Make Your Mark as she applies what may be the “moisturizing mane mask.” Unfortunately, it seems that that tub was full of the “hydro hair growth serum,” which results in Sparky developing locks that would make Red Sonja and Rapunzel jealous. Pipp, panicking at this auburn atrocity and how Hitch will react to it, starts throwing everything in the crate at it in the hopes that one of these hair care products will care for hair by getting rid of it.
Hey, see how logical you are when you’re worried about angering the local police.
All this bevy of beautifiers does is create a gradient effect, with Sparky’s locks going from red at the roots to blonde at the tips six feet away. And that’s after she broke out an electric trimmer. I can only assume Pipp went for styling over shaving out of habit.
As Pipp laments that the samples are a disaster—for, you know, behaving exactly as advertised—Sparky reveals that he had plucked the instructions out of the crate as they were opening it. Yes, the instructions are on a separate sheet of paper rather than the packaging itself. Seriously, I’d never spend another cent at this supplier.
The good news is that the solution is very simple: “just wash with water within the first 24 hours and the hair won’t set.” I have several concerns about that phrasing, and for Pipp not trying water, but it works out in the end. And Pipp says she’ll label all of the remaining samples as soon as ponily possible. (I assume that’s what “ASAPP” stands for.)
Hitch returns just in time for Pipp to all-too-cheerfully insist that nothing of interest happened and Hitch doesn’t need to ask any questions… but as father and son leave the salon, we see that Sparky’s palmed some of the hair growth serum. Hey, the whelp knows how he wants to look… or he wants to see how Hitch looks with a mane that would do a princess of Old Equestria proud.
This was fun. It could’ve worked quite well as a Tell Your Tale short.
Hair Cut for Time
Oh, this is interesting. This one has the most deliberate attempt I’ve seen to imitate the Tell Your Tale style. (Also a cute reference to one of the G1 Pony Friends, sort of the line’s answer to the Care Bear Cousins.)
We get further evidence that Hitch has forgotten that house with the paid-off mortgage, as Zipp enters the sheriff station while he’s still in the upstairs bathroom, doing his mane. (That or Hitch really does own the town’s police station, which invites its own questions.)
Also, Zipp wants to make sure the two of them don’t “miss the morning showing of Flight Club.” I was under the impression that you don’t talk about Flight Club. Also, i can’t imagine Hitch will be thrilled with the anti-establishment themes.
Also, the casualness with which Zipp enters a stallion’s bedroom will not be overanalyzed at thistime, beyond this statement.
In any case, Zipp turns her muzzle up at extensive mane prep (which in Hitch’s case meant making sure the mane spray had set.) She compares him to Pipp saying both are “always taking a million moons to do your mane” and my teeth get set on edge just a bit more.
In any case, Hitch points out Zipp hardly wakes up with her like that, but she insists she just uses a little mousse (and now you have context for the linked excerpt.) Hitch, meanwhile, shows off how that ultra-hold spray lets his mane function as a landing platform for seagulls. Not sure if that’s really an argument in favor of it, but he seems happy.
We see a bit more of Rainbow Dash in Zipp as she compares routines with Hitch, namely in how she appreciates being able to sleep in until five minutes before she has to go out for the day. (I imagine Sunny is scowling somewhere at the lack of a healthy breakfast.) Also, it makes her look a little taller, which is clearly essential when your little sister is Pipp Petals. Got to rub it in, after all.
Hitch’s defense of his routine—among other things, it makes him look more professional—gets interrupted by Misty stuck it an especially bouncy magic bubble. (“Spell practice got a little out of hoof.”) The rush to rescue her ends up with both emulating the other’s manestyle, and both agree the other’s approach has merit… though Misty’s left wondering about Zipp’s moose.
This was a curious bit of fluff. More a case of character exploration that remembered it needed something resembling a plot in the last three pages.
Izzy’s Wash Day
We open on Izzy applying the finishing touches to her latest creation, a spinning snack tray to “make hanging out at home so much yummier,” as Señor Butterscotch supervises. It’s also left her mane and tail absolutely infested with charms, beads, ribbons, and other crafting detritus.
Izzy determines that this calls for some “HLC”—“Hoof loving care” according to the editor, who never should have allowed such paltry wordplay to see print—and announces the titular wash day… which makes me wonder just how frequently she bathes. I can’t imagine the plumbing in the Bridlewood was especially reliable.
That said, going by how she considers going to Mane Melody, which does have a lot of customers today, and settles on “at-home mane care,” it appears that her overall hygiene isn’t as bad as I’d feared. Though given that Izzy says mane care is just like making art, I still have some concerns…
There’s a really weird bit wherein Izzy seems to genuinely teach Señor Butterscotch about different hair textures and the necessarily different means of looking after them. And in her case, that begins by shaking all of the crafting materials out of it like a dog drying itself. (She also nearly forgets her own tail in the process.)
After combing and shampooing, Izzy raids the fridge for a homemade hair mask, which is… mostly ingredients that exist in our world, though the fragrance elements come from “dewey dazzle fruit” and “rainbow pineberry.” Personally, I’m just wondering when she came up with this concoction; I can’t imagine coconut milk and avocados were readily available in the Bridlewood.
After another shampooing and leave-in conditioner that Pipp helped make (presumably with all testing mishaps already ironed out,) Izzy tries out a variety of possible styles, complete with homemade ornaments, before settling on the usual.
Pipp enters after a long day of tending to the populace and is amazed at how good Izzy looks… and I’m left thoroughly underwhelmed. This felt like it was introducing the reader to the concept of haircare in and of itself, and I’m really not sure who the target audience is meant to be. Are aliens using G5 comics as a way to subtly train one another to blend in with the local mammals?
Overall, this was… odd. I’m really not sure who decided a trio of mini-comics about hair was worth doing, nor why. But if I worked with Pony Life, I can work with this. Time to tease out some designs:
Flight Club Confidante 1W
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flying
Each other creature you control with flying has ward 1. (Whenever it becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays 1.)
“We don’t talk about Flight Club.”
1/2
Regal Dragonsinger 2W
Creature — Pegasus Bard
As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may reveal a Dragon card from your hand.
Flying
When Regal Dragonsinger enters the battlefield, if you revealed a Dragon card or controlled a Dragon as you cast this spell, you become the monarch.
2/1
Package Hauler 2WW
Creature — Pony Citizen
Vigilance
Whenever Package Hauler attacks, draw a card if you have fewer cards in hand than defending player.
“Sign here, please. I have a lot more to deliver today.”
3/4
Finishing Touch 1U
Instant
Target artifact or creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn.
Draw a card.
True perfection is unattainable, but for a single beautiful moment, a work of art or artifice can come close.
Snagglemaned Crafter 1U
Creature — Unicorn Artificer
Whenever you cast an artifact spell, put a knickknack counter on Snagglemaned Crafter.
When Snagglemaned Crafter dies, create a Treasure token for each knickknack counter on it. (They’re artifacts with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”)
2/1
Mystic Mishap 2U
Instant
Reveal Mystic Mishap as you draft it and note how many cards you’ve drafted this draft round, including Mystic Mishap.
Counter target spell unless its controller pays X, where X is the highest number you noted for cards named Mystic Mishap.
Magic is an error-and-error process.
Effortless Entry B
Sorcery
Target creature gains your choice of menace or skulk until end of turn. (A creature with skulk can’t be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
Draw a card.
“If it was that easy to get in, was the door really locked?”
Necroparcel BBB
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, pay X life.
Exile the top X cards of your library face down. Put those cards into your hand at the beginning of your next end step. Whenever you discard a card this turn, exile that card from your graveyard.
Reptoid Infiltrator 5B
Creature — Alien Lizard Rogue
Human offering (You may cast this card any time you could cast an instant by sacrificing a Human and paying the difference in mana costs between this and the sacrificed Human. Mana cost includes color.)
Menace, protection from Humans
Mundus had its own problems.
4/4
Alchemical Desperation 2R
Instant
As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Draw a card, then draw an additional card for each of the discarded card’s card types.
In her panic, Pipp tried everything but the salon sink. Then she checked for water solubility.
Undercity Brawler 3R
Creature — Pegasus Rogue
Undercity Brawler can’t be blocked by creatures with flying.
When Undercity Brawler enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to its power to target creature with flying.
The depths of Zephyr Heights have long held resentment for authority.
4/2
Glamorous Dragon 3RR
Creature — Dragon
Flying, menace
Whenever you cast a spell, if it has a single target, change the target to Glamorous Dragon if able.
Egocentrism is only natural for a dragon, but few demand that other egos center on them as well.
5/5
Impervious Mane G
Instant
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. It gains indestructible until end of turn.
“Oh, it sounds great at first, but untrimmable hair is an issue when you run a salon.”
—Princess Pipp Petals
Antler Comb 2G
Artifact Creature — Equipment Elk
Antler Comb and equipped creature can’t be blocked by creatures with power 2 or less.
Reconfigure 1G (1G: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn’t a creature.)
3/2
Oakcrown Moose 4GG
Creature — Elk
Trample
Suspend 3 — 1G (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay 1G and exile it with three time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost. It has haste.)
5/5
Thorough Instructions 2
Artifact
2, T, Sacrifice Thorough Instructions: This turn, artifact spells you cast cost 2 less to cast and abilities of artifact sources you activate cost 2 less to activate. This effect can’t reduce the mana in an activation cost to less than one mana.
“Congratulations on your new monolith…”
Unicycler’s Assistant 3
Artifact Creature — Unicorn Construct
When Unicycler’s Assistant enters the battlefield, put up to one target artifact card in your graveyard on top of your library.
T: Add C.
A unicycler builds most of her own tools, including those that can use other tools.
2/2
Homemade Substitute UB
Instant
As an additional cost to cast this spell, collect evidence X. (Exile cards with total mana value X or greater from your graveyard.)
Copy target instant or sorcery card in an opponent’s graveyard with mana value X or less. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.
Bank Shot 1UR
Instant
Return target creature you control to its owner’s hand. Bank Shot deals damage equal to that creature’s power to target creature you don’t control.
Misty’s ricochets would have been very impressive had they been even remotely intentional.
Retro Revival 1GW
Instant
Return target Aura or Equipment card in your graveyard to the battlefield attached to target creature. Return that permanent to your hand at the beginning of your next end step.
Trends are but one of nature’s many cycles.
Oh no, she found the mirror pool
Tom, you had one job!
The first story here reminds me not just of TYT, but of the Pipp/Sparky segment in that early MYM episode with the A-plot of Opaline trying to manipulate Sunny through the compact mirror. Just reflecting writing both character in a far less annoying manner. It does show how limited the base is – without being a chaotic force, Sparky is just a proper that occasionally gurgles, and Pipp is repeating the nth "products get mixed up, go crashing it to try and fix it". But it sufficed, and with the ability to imagine actually-good visual pacing and fitting background music over what TYT gives us, it's harmless.
Zipp's line about her mane making her look taller really Stans out for how the artist drew her to be more petite than Hitch to emphasise the point. Normally she's only the barest fraction shorter than him at head height. Why, I don't know, the joke would work just as well with her mane putting her above him.
Also, Misty's spell practice, while not an unwelcome continuity nod, still feels like another case of a shifted TYT upload schedule – this likely would have resonated just that bit better after the first instance of us seeing her doing that very practice in the shorts.
Really, on top of being fluff, this second short almost feels like those rare G4 things where the staff wanted to make it a ship, but couldn't, so they "disguise" it. It's not as egotistical as all the Rarijack by the EqG storyboard artists, but still, I dunno. Especially if one wants to unpack gender stereotypes and identity from how much value these two place in mane care (I emphatically do not, thanks).
And… the third one has even less plot than the prior bit of fluff. Sands, short of the panel of Izzy trying out some nice other mane styles, I don't know I could tell you a thing beyond "Izzy done her own personal mane treatment at home narrated to her arts-and-crafts Butterscotch friend", and I only read the thing five minutes ago.
Hay, that you managed to get even 20 cards out of these is quite impressive, for how little happens in them. Upside is there's virtually nothing that offensive or harmful, but they'll vanish from the mind as quick as anything. That's becoming more common for G5 these days, though it's still a trade up in average, I suppose.
And yep, one can already feel the comics winding down. I think it'll be likely they'll go until about when TYT ends, but they're basically being strung along with different themed over main numbered issues to reach just enough sales figures to get afloat. That's the impression I get, anyway.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Yes, you can pay 0 mana whenever you want. Sometimes spells and activated abilities can't have their real costs in the actual cost part of the syntax, so weird stuff like this happens.
Inside Baseball Alert: Necroparcel is a one-shot version of Necropotence, one of the most legendarily overpowered cards ever printed.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: I think discarding to hand size happens after the beginning of the end step? I can't see any other reason why the last sentence of Necroparcel is there.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Card types are things like "artifact" "creature", not things like "Goblin" or "Elf". Two card types is rare outside of the exact combination I said, which admittedly whole decks are built around, and three is basically unheard of.
Inside Baseball Alert: Thorough Instructions' flavor text is referencing a classic infinite mana combo. I'm too lazy to search up the half of the combo FoME's card is actually replacing, but be assured that it exists.
To be fair, I was completely clueless about haircare as a kid— something I now wish I had known back then— and these are supposedly intended for kids, so...
(...Though on the other hoof, I also think it unlikely for a kid to actually get their hands on the comic.)
I hope so, too, but unfortunately, I think you might be on to something. Between this and the slapdash scheduling of TYT, it doesn't take a telepath to figure out that G5 lives on borrowed time.
Kenbucky Roller Derby and Set Your Sail will have exactly 5 issues each, while the recently announced Maretime Mysteries miniseries will run for 4 issues. Here's a breakdown of all the comics that have been solicited from next month through 7/3:
4/10: Set Your Sail #1
4/17: Kenbucky Roller Derby #3
5/15: Kenbucky Roller Derby #4
5/22: Set Your Sail #2
6/12: Maretime Mysteries #1
6/19: Kenbucky Roller Derby #5
7/3: Set Your Sail #3
5773576
Probably says something that one of the most entertaining things about this blog was a typo. I choose to believe it says more about the source material.
5773605
The cleanup step comes after the end step, yes.
And for those wondering, the simplest way to kick off the combo is with Power Artifact.
5774029
That is incredibly helpful. Where did you get these dates?
5774043
PRH Comics Retail usually has the solicits listed with release dates about a day or two after they first go out (that's usually the penultimate Thursday of the month, so they're typically up by the penultimate Friday). For best results, set the filters to Coming Soon and Comic.
Or maybe ASAPP is "as soon as Pipp possible". I could see her self-referencing like that.
Perhaps that's how Martime Bay gets their sheriff. If you want to be sheriff, you buy the building! Hitch loves the job so much he paid it off in record time and plans to be sheriff for life.
I'm still waiting for Silver-Quill's review on this. He usually doesn't take this long but I suppose reading the plot here shows that it's as bland as a normal TYT episode. Like if that's the case, it's the first time he's skipping out on it.