I asked an AI to generate a criticism of raisins in the style of the King James Bible.

Thus saith the Lord: Wo unto those who delight in the eating of raisins, for they are an abomination before me, and a stumbling block to the souls of men.

Verily, I say unto you, the raisin is a fruit that hath been corrupted by the hand of man. It is not as I have created it, but rather, it is a perversion of the natural order, a fruit that hath been wrinkled and dried and made unclean.

Behold, the raisin doth possess no sweetness, no juice, no pleasant flavor, but is instead a dried-up husk, a mockery of the fruit that it once was. Those who partake of it are guilty of partaking of that which is unclean and impure.

Furthermore, the raisin is a symbol of the pride and vanity of men, who seek to improve upon that which I have already made perfect. They take the sweet and succulent grape, and they dry it up, and they say, "Behold, we have made it better." But in truth, they have made it worse.

Let those who delight in the eating of raisins repent and turn unto me, that they may be cleansed from their unrighteousness. Let them put away the abominable fruit, and seek after the pure and natural fruits of the earth.

For verily, I say unto you, the day cometh when every man and woman shall be judged according to their works. Let not the eating of raisins be a stain upon your soul, but let your focus be on that which is pure and holy. For in the end, it is not the dried-up husks of the earth that shall bring joy and happiness, but the sweet and succulent fruits that I have created for your enjoyment.

(I guess I can see this as something the Lord would actually say; I can't argue with the AI's logic here. Love AI or hate it, he's spitting straight facts.)

Comments

[Cyana Flame]

I'll try not raisin a fuss~

[GivingSpider]

Raisins are Grape Jerky

[Applefai]

Which ai did you use?

[Applefai]

I tried in in chatgpt just now with Hawaiian pizza and this is what I got.

In the realm of culinary delights, some may question the harmonious union of pineapple and ham upon the sacred dough, for the juxtaposition of sweet and savory flavors stirs debates as turbulent as the tempestuous seas. Yet, in the vast banquet of tastes, diversity reigns, and each palate must choose its own path.

Had to clarify it was just for fun though

[BradyBunch]

5764991
Just the assistant for Facebook Messenger

[Applefai]

5765008
Ah

[Johnny B Mediocre]

get fucked

files.catbox.moe/xe262z.jpg

[KeeganFirecloak]

Need this but with pickles. Stuff of the devil, those things.