Follow Me On Patreon! (Not 'Sponsor'. Just 'Follow'.) Why? So y'all can kill me. · 1:53pm January 15th
Most of you have at least entertained thoughts on the matter. I'm one of the site's Rainbows: you're arguably not an official FIMFic member until you've sketched out plans for my death. But in this case, I want to see if the collective 'you' can do it in a day or two.
And how are you going to kill me, you might ask? I'll explain. And the best part? It costs you nothing! Not a single cent! You're committing murder for free!
...actually, that's been most of the problem.
So let's get this part of the way first, because some of y'all still don't know. In terms of financial support for the 'writer', I can be sponsored, and I can be tipped.
This link goes to the Ko-Fi jar, for tip purposes. (The current tip jar goal is for destressing with comfort food. I've had a lot of stress this month.)
But now we're going to concentrate on Patreon. I'll put that link up at the end.
Again, you will be killing me at no personal cost. Except for never getting to read any new stories/chapters from me again, but that's nearly all of why most of the group wants me dead in the first place and I'm sure the site will treat it as a positive.
Want to learn how?
Patreon regularly makes changes. (Look up the increasing visual incoherence of their logo sometime.) They make it very hard for anyone on the site to change things -- I can't edit the $5 'choose blog topic' tier to officially become $7, and would need to create a separate $7 tier -- but they feel free to switch things up. Why not? It's their site.
The newest change is called Join For Free.
(Intrigued yet?)
So when you go to my Patreon page -- and you will be going at the end of this blog, won't you? -- you'll see the Join For Free option directly under my sponsor and post count, on the first page of the scrolldown. It's a black link box with white text. And that's all I'm asking you to do. I mean, you could become a sponsor if you really wanted to, and it would certainly help me. But this is currently about ending my life, so let's focus on that.
What does Join For Free do? Well, first off, it doesn't cost you anything. Seriously: free. It's right there in the title. But by doing so, you get a notification whenever I post on Patreon. This typically happens because I've written something: much less often, I'll need to make an allcall to everyone there. As I occasionally talk about story development and the events behind chapters & stories in such posts, maybe that might interest you.
That's all it does. (That I know of. You might be able to send me a PM through Patreon's system, but I haven't had anyone test that yet.) You get notified when I post something. And because I make pretty much all of my posts public -- I paywalled one as an experiment, shortly after I started the page -- you won't be blocked out.
But this is about killing me. Quickly. And since I'd like to get it over with...
The Patreon creator notification counter is connected directly to my stress levels.
Y'see, in days of yore -- before Join For Free started -- that counter would go on for two very different reasons:
* Sponsor Numbers Go Up
* Sponsor Numbers Go Down
It turns on regardless of what's being done, and all activations are cumulative.
Typically, that counter meant either someone had joined, or someone had left. (It can also activate when someone edits their pledge, but that's less common.) And because I am, when compared to the mega-giants on Patreon, a very small creator... every time that light turns on, I have a moment of panic. Because I'm trying to stay alive, and... each person lost (and they have reasons, often good ones, especially since I should always come last) is a direct blow, whereas every gain produces a brief sensation of buoyancy: someone believes in me.
But my assumption on seeing that counter light up -- every. single. time. -- is that I've screwed up. Or someone's in trouble. Lost job, car repairs, assorted fiscal issues, and they've had to leave because I need to come last. (When I see that a former sponsor is no longer backing anyone, my first thought is always 'unemployment', and I start to worry for them.) Possibly I've alienated an individual or twelve. That last story/chapter really didn't go over well...
If I see the notification counter activate? The automatic, instinctive reaction is that Numbers Are Going Down. And because I'm a very small fish, I don't have the sort of account where population departs and arrives every day. I'm the artist running their own gallery, and I've said (usually through Rarity) that it's not good for the heart. I worry, I start to stress, maybe there could be some panic if Numbers Have Gone Down already that month -- January qualifies -- and then I look.
But I can't stop the reaction.
Ever.
Did you guess how this works yet?
When someone uses Join For Free, the notification count activates and goes up by one.
This Patreon feature is pretty new. I haven't had very many people use it. But a few have. And when they come in at the Free level, the notification counter goes on, my stress starts to surge, every automatic, instinctive reactions kicks in, and the sum total result of all this is that I am now being very slowly (and cumulatively) killed by Numbers Really Didn't Go Anywhere.
So... what would happen if a whole lot of you just piled on...
Let's get it over with, shall we?
Follow me on Patreon. 'Sponsoring' is at your discretion, as is the tip jar thing above. But this is just following. I'm trying to get triple digits of you to do nothing more than hit that Join For Free button, and to do so over the next day or so. Because that way, it'll just about all hit at once. I'll have a horrible, horrible day or two which sees me jumping at numbers, and then it'll be mostly over with. Sure, there might be a slow trickle after, but -- the bulk will be finished.
And maybe it'll kill me.
Or possibly it won't, which is a horrible fate.
For someone.
...the Hatedom would be so disappointed...
Isn't getting to kill me the real tier benefit?
so... if i can join for free, and it's not a trial thing, then that means i can join and leave repeatedly as often as i can, just to continue to spike the stress? it'll be even more evil, because you'll be able to see when i do it.... after the surge happens. back and forth. back and forth. back and forth.... ad infinitum.
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But then you would have to ask yourself the purely theoretical fiction hypothetical joke question of 'At what point does Estee, who knows this was all my idea, decide to kill me?'
Please enjoy the rest of your day.
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Basically, if you want to make a 1 time donation, you should use Kofi because Patreon is specifically set up not to allow it. They will set it up as "so much $ per post" & charge you for whatever it's set for at the end of the month.
I'm not sure if the "please kill me, I know you all hate my guts" thing is satire or legit and that scares me...
:shrugs:
I'll hit the button.
They did finally start to fill my heart meds after the 'guidelines' said "but it's also for ADHD". I sent in my sleeping heart rate: 50-100bpm, night after night after night.
I'm so tired, lol.
I’m going to be honest, I don’t really get into the fandom as a whole other than this website and a bit of commentary on the r/MLP subreddit. Where are all these people who supposedly hate you? I certainly don’t see them commenting on your stories or your journal entries here.
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It's partially a joke, but I have detractors and a few who outright loathe. (Writing 'style', '''worldbuilding''', claims of character debasement... the works.) They can be found on various discussion sites and for those, let's just say the usual suspects are involved.
I don't search to see if anyone's discussing my writing offsite any more. As I've said a few times in the chat server, the only thing worse than people not talking about your work is people talking about your work.
And shortly after my mother died, there was one person who openly decided (and declared) that I wrote too 'dramatically' about things for her to have ever been real.
I never looked again.
Hmm . . . this should have been obvious in hindsight, but one can't use the "follow for free" option when you're already subscribed to someone. I spent an embarrassing number of minutes figuring that out . . .
So on top of all that person's other problems, they lack basic knowledge of human biology.
*click*
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There are some people who are banned for life from this site & a few who left by .....let's call it "mutual agreement".
Oh & "too dramatic"?! Robert Howard (Conan the Barbarian among other things) committed suicide the day after his mother died. IMO, THAT is "too dramatic". Anything less is not.
You're such a rolling ball of stress and anxiety that I'm almost tempted to suggest you try some recreational pharma to calm down. But then I remember that you're Estee and if the sudden relaxation of tension doesn't just make you come apart altogether, then the return after the pharma wears off might be enough to finish you.
I will endeavor to keep my favorite fimfiction author alive by not following
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His name was Door Fucker!
Patreon sucks for doing this. Seems like they're run about as well as twitch. 🙄🤦♀️ I hope this doesn't mean they get to read the paid patreon posts when they get the notification, because otherwise what's the point of even using it as an exclusive membership?? Mad.