Story Review #23

Story Review #23: A Dazzling World —by Spyder27

Reward for winning a competition in the Sunset X Villain competition group and also because I love reading Spyder27’s Sundagio stories!!!

Character’s:

Adagio Dazzle: 5 little word can encapsulate her in this story: Character development, Relatable, Poverty, GAY!!!!!
Now that I’m done joking about I wanna mention I love Adagio development from shitty person to maybe I’m a bad person to I hate myself. I’ve gone through that it’s not an easy journey and I’m proud of you for writing it so well and of Adagio for getting through it. I really love her portrayal and the innocence & duality of her sarcasm. Overall a great protagonist and a likable character!

Sunset Shimmer: Sunset is great her quirks personality and warmth but she almost feels like a goalpost or an endpoint for Adagio rather than a character sometimes! (I’m hoping the sequel will expand on her)

Applebloom: I like her childlike wonder and the innocence you brought from the show combined with the more realistic approach of how children might approach these situations. And her dragging Adagio around was funny AF.

Rainbow Dash: 2nd best character in the story behind Adagio her cocky confidence mixed with a weirdly wide personality and teasing prankster exterior. She is one of the most accurately written to their canon counterpart characters I’ve reviewed in my 23 reviews of mlp fanfiction. (Also she likes Applejack probably?)

Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle: love the dynamic and despite the short time they spend in the story they are a nice addition.

Filthy Rich $$$: get those stacks of money my dude. He’s shady and sneaky but mostly he feels like build up to the sequel then a character at this point.

Applejack and the other Rainbooms:
One word: Disappointed! You better redeem yourself next story.

Other characters: they played their parts well but really weren’t important enough to get their own section.

Premise: Decent enough.

Grammar and punctuation: I didn’t see any errors but the comments have pointed out there was some before I read the story that have been corrected. And sometimes the wording makes it hard to tell if they are thinking or talking.

Dialogue: top tier stuff.

Flaws: I dunno it’s hard to find much wrong but I suppose one of the major issues is the fact I can’t always tell the difference between the dialogue and the inner monologue.

Highlights: Characters and dialogue are top tier and as always the Sundagio is written beautifully as expected from Spyder27

But as always those are just my 2 cents and I recommend you check out the story yourself and form your own opinion. If you’re a fan of Sundagio I highly recommend checking out Spyder27 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/467180/Spyder27) they are top 3 Sundagio writers on this site and number 1 in my heart!!

Rating: my first 10/10 story on the review I rate it a solid 10/10 teasing Rainbow Dash

Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/508015/a-dazzling-world

Comments

[Spyder27]

Thanks again for the review! It feels so nice to see your compliments of my story and to have some feedback in general~ One thing I wanted to say is that I completely understand what you mean by Sunset and Filthy Rich seeming more like plot devices in this story. In a way, they are. Due to how I structured the story, I didn't have much opportunity to expand on their characters until later and Sunset was indeed more of a goal in this story, rather than a character. But that is fixed later on~

Also, the Rainbooms do redeem themselves in a sense~

I also want to point out that whenever I use quotation marks ("") in my series, they are talking rather than thinking since the story is mostly first person. Therefore, everything out of quotation marks is sort of a monologue to themselves or such.

Finally, I want to mention that it seriously warms my heart to read such kind things about me~ Not only giving me a 10/10, but also saying that I'm one of the best Sundagio writers on this website. That is my dream since I gave my title the Emperor of Sundagio after all~ Thank you so much for the lovely review and kind compliments! It has definitely made my day~