G5 Side Characters Ranking (G5/G5 Spoilers!) · 10:25pm Jun 13th, 2023
Probably could've done this list a little bit sooner, especially considering there was at least one set of characters I didn't consider when I did the original list. I suppose supporting characters might be a better name for this list given how prominently some of these characters are featured in G5 to date, but I digress. The list definitely needed to be updated after the events of Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark have given me new things to consider. If you want to see the original list for comparison, you can find it here. And as always, this is just my personal opinion, so please respect it.
12. Jazz Hooves and Rocky Riff
Why they're on the bottom: These two seem to more or less run Mane Melody almost all the time, even though Pipp is the one who founded and opened the saloon. We didn't get any sort of introduction to them like with Rarity's business partners, they're just two random ponies introduced with the opening of Mane Melody and that's it. There's nothing else to them, we don't know anything about them in terms of character or personality. Jazz, at least, has stood out for her lack of ears on her character model. It was recently confirmed in an interview with one of the animators that this is not an oversight, it's intentional. Jazz's model was originally going to have long hair that would cover up her ears, but they couldn't get it to render properly in CGI so they restyled it and didn't realize until too late that they forgot to put the ears on. They've kept it since then to maintain consistency, so this is something of a Derpy Hooves situation. But Derpy owed her exisitence to a layering error, she was intended to be a hidden background gag. One of your prominent secondary characters not having ears feels like something you should catch in pre-editing.
11. The Pippsqueaks (Seashell, Glory, and Peach Fizz)
Why they're not on the bottom: I talked about them a lot when discussing the songs of Make Your Mark in Chapter 2, more specifically the song "Where'd It Go?". I get the feeling that G5 intends for these three to be the new Cutie Mark Crusaders, but the CMC had the benefit of two of them being younger siblings of the main cast and we got to see the episode where they met and bonded. Plus, the CMC were originally supposed to be the stars of their own spin-off, and when that got rejected they were made into reoccurring characters with their own episodes. These three kids, meanwhile, have nothing special going for them. They're just a bunch of phone obsessed kids. At best, them cowering behind Pipp in "Have You Seen This Dragon?" indicates that their bond with her is genuine, they like her not just as a celebrity but as something of a big sister figure. Otherwise, they're completely interchangeable. I see now what that ending scene with them in "A New Generation" was supposed to foreshadow, it was supposed to foreshadow the rise of cutie mark magic and ponies' cutie marks glowing when they become really passionate. Maybe that was just a coincidence, or maybe that was intentional. But either way, that could've been shown off by any characters. I stand by what I labeled these three as before: Hewie, Dewie and Louie in every Disney media prior to the 2017 Ducktales reboot: They feel like three versions of the exact same character, there's nothing to make any of them stand out as individuals.
10. Posey Bloom
Why she's in the bottom three: Posey is apparently intended as a nod to G1 and to Fluttershy's inspiration (Fluttershy was originally going to be called Posey and be an earth pony, and Pinkie Pie was supposed to be a pegasus named Surprise), which makes the decision to make her the "antagonist" more or less for the first Make Your Mark special all the more glaring because it's a complete disservice to what her character represented in the past. I don't know much about G1 or G1 Posey, but I'm pretty sure G1 Posey wasn't snooty, rude and mean. Her entire argument boils down to "I don't like magic because potatoes". However, she ends up becoming something of a Chancellor Neighsay in that she's supposed to be in the wrong, but the show ends up proving her right. More specifically, Tell Your Tale had this weird obsession across multiple episodes of making Posey the butt of jokes, particularly from Izzy. And these supposedly took place after the Make Your Mark special. Aside from that, we haven't seen her at all, really. Supposedly, she's learned to be more tolerant, but considering it took until "Growing Pains" for earth pony magic to be controlled that kind of unintentionally vindicated her.
9. Sparky Sparkeroni
Why he's so low: Sparky definitely fits the "baby" part of baby dragon more than Spike, he can't pass for more than a toddler at best. But much like Flurry Heart and to a lesser extent the Cake Twins, Sparky proves that adding a baby to your cast of characters really doesn't do much. Babies on their own don't make for good characters, unless it's in the vein of "Rugrats" and showing the world from their perspective, or like the Jack Jack short from the first Incredibles movie where you' show what the baby gets up to while the other characters are away. Otherwise, babies are just motivations for other characters, they can potentially become leverage against the heroes or villains, but on their own they can't do much of anything to advance the plot. We've gotten hints that there might be something magical about Sparky, that he might be tied to the crystals somehow. But nothing has come of it so far. Instead, they've mostly used him as a plot device, or in the case of Tell Your Tale to shoehorn in toilet humor. No joke, there was a Tell Your Tale episode where he ended up farting in Misty's face. And I have to ask, was that really necessary? Hasn't Misty suffered enough working for Opaline? At least if it was Opaline who got farted on, that would've been funny and deserving. Maybe now that he's been drained of much of his dragon fire magic, they'll be able to do more with him that justifies him being part of the cast.
8. Opaline Arcana
Why she's in the bottom five: She probably would've been lower than even the Pippsqueaks if we had only the first two chapters of Make Your Mark to judge her on. Because at first Opaline was as generic a villain as they come, her personality boiled to down basically "Mwhahaha, evil!", which is very shallow and uninteresting. Tell Your Tale did start to flesh her out a tiny bit, showing that without Misty she's pretty pathetic and can barely do anything on her own. Then, come Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark she stops wasting her time on things like just spying on Sunny through a locket or creating an illusionary mouse to sneak into the Brighthouse. She actually takes action to get what she needs to carry out her plan, and when she puts it into motion she proves to actually be a fairly competent threat. We also got what is probably her backstory, her having been an alicorn at the same time as Celestia and Luna and supposedly ignored by them. The ending of Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark suggests that she'll be going after dragons, presumably to obtain their magic. I'm still not entirely convinced yet that she could accomplish what even the Legion of Doom could not, we still don't know what Twilight was trying to accomplish by sealing magic into the crystals. Depending on how that plays out, Opaline could move up or down the next time I do this list.
7. Grandma Figgy
Why she;s in the bottom half: It feels like Grandma Figgy is meant to be the show's replacement for Argyle, at least as far as Make Your Mark is concerned. She's been mentioned and has appeared more than Argyle has, and has similar ties to Sunny's past as Hitch's grandmother. Presuambly, she's in a Granny Smith sort of situation, it's implied that she raised Hitch since he was a child because his parents died. That's what the context would suggest behind what might as well be baby pictures that she was showing everyone in "Winter Wishday". And Sunny and Hitch mentioned having food fights in her kitchen as kids in "Sunny Side Up", with no mention of Argyle at any point. About the only thing she doesn't have is a contrast with Phyilis in regard to beliefs about the other pony tribes. I think we can assume she was more on Argyle's side than Phyilis' side, but given that she lived outside of Maretime Bay her opinion probably didn't matter as much as it would've. Kind of hope we get a "The Perfect Pear" episode where they shed light on the parental backstories of Hitch's missing parents, as well as Sunny's mother.
6. Phyilis Cloverleaf
Why she moved way down: I'm willing to bet that Phyilis was meant to be the main antagonist of "A New Generation" originally, at least when they finally settled on the draft of the three pony tribes splitting apart. Not only is she featured far more prominently throughout the movie's first act compared to Sprout, and not only is she highly influential in influencing Sprout to seize control in Hitch's absence. But leaked concept art for the movie shows that the mech was originally intended to resemble Phyilis, meaning either that Sprout would've been piloting a mech based on his mom, or more likely Phyilis was intended to pilot such a device. It's weird that she and Argyle are now the only members of the original supporting cast who have yet to appear in a speaking role in Make Your Mark. Argyle and Phyilis have both had appearances in Tell Your Tale, but Phyilis' raises questions about what exactly she's been up to since the movie. Even now that we know Canterlogic has been shut down, there's no word on whether that's a consequence of Phyilis' actions or not. Even if Sprout was the one to take things too far, Phyilis is still partially to blame for planting ideas in her son's head and failing to correct his behavior until it was almost too late. If nothing else, you think she would've shown up alongside Sprout in "Top Remodel" since Canterlogic is stated to still belong to the Cloverleaf family.
5. Sprout Cloverleaf
Why he moved down: Had it not been for "Top Remodel", Sprout would've probably been much lower on the list since he seemed to be all but forgotten in Make Your Mark up to that point. I get the feeling that his redemption arc is meant to be the video game "A Maretime Bay Adventure", but that game's story has so many plot holes regarding when it supposedly could take place. Plus, "Top Remodel" kind of contradicts it since the game's story would have us believe Sprout has learned his lesson about being distrustful of the other ponies, but in "Top Remodel" he's still mad with them and Pipp at least still harbors resentment towards him for what he did. I'm glad it's not forgive and forget, what Sprout did was wrong. But a lot of that early speculation about him joining the mane five as the Applejack of the group (given how Phyilis always called him "Sugarcube") ultimately turned out to be wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we got to see Sprout show up and have a speaking role again. If Sprout had been more like this in "A New Generation" I'd probably have taken him a lot more seriously as the main antagonist. Earlier drafts suggest he was thought of before Phyilis, but in a role where he would've been Sunny's boss rather than basically her childhood rival (making him even more like Gary Oak than I previously stated him to be. And now that I've said that, I have to wonder if the fandom's gonna start using Sprout for the famous Gary Oak meme?).
4. Alphabittle Blossomforth
Why he moved way up: What a difference a couple of Tell Your Tale episodes and Make Your Mark Chapter 4 could do for him. I still wish they'd have gone with the original plans of making him a blind, eccentric unicorn who lived in a cave, making him a sort of Yoda expy for Izzy and the group. And I still wish Phil LaMarr was voicing him, if only for the casting illusion they would've had with Alphabittle falling in love with Queen Haven. If not for those episodes, Alphabittle would've had nothing and probably would've been lucky to escape from the bottom three or four. Now, not only is he a potential step-dad for Zipp and Pipp (wouldn't surprise me if it becomes the SugarMac of G5, a side ship that eventually becomes not only canon but leads to marriage), but it's heavily implied that he's more or less the closest thing Izzy had to any kind of parental figure growing up. He more or less raised her. We still don't know if he's the leader of Bridlewood, though. Izzy did mention a "Mayor's secretary" in "Winter Wishday", so maybe Bridlewood at least has a mayor (which would leave only Maretime Bay, ironically enough, without a designated authority figure). His gentle and easy going nature seems to be a stark contrast to what we saw of him in "A New Generation", but maybe he was just in a bad mood because he wasn't used to losing and then thought he'd been cheated. There's also a lot of fan speculation about Misty being his long last daughter, but as of right now we have no way of knowing either way (there's nothing to suggest Alphabittle was ever married or ever had children, but then again there's nothing that outright says he couldn't have been married or had a kid). If so, would that make Izzy and Misty sisters if Alphabittle legally adopted Izzy?
3. Argyle Starshine
Why he moved down: Yeah, pony names are weird. His last name is Starshine, but Sunny's last name is Starscout. Yet at the same time, Sprout and Phyilis have the same last name and we know they're related to each other. But I digress. Argyle has been strangely out of focus since "A New Generation", almost no mention of him at all in either Tell Your Tale or Make Your Mark. Tell Your Tale at least gave him a recording in one episode, Make Your Mark has only eluded to his presence once, in "Winter Wishday" via a photo. And oddly enough, leaks of earlier drafts of "A New Generation" suggests he was meant to have a bigger role initially. Those leaks also had him voiced by what I assume is Jim Cummings, althought maybe it isn't. If so, there's no word on why Jim was used but not given the role in the end. Was there a scheduling conflict? Or did they just not like what Jim did and decided to try something else? In any case, you'd think Sunny would at least be eluding to her dad and to his research, especially once the recording of Twilight came up. Maybe that'll happen in the next chapter/chapters of Make Your Mark. And if so, maybe that'll shed some light on what Argyle was like and what might have happened to him. Otherwise, he's the standard Disney parent that dies off-screen or suffers a vague fate early in the film because he's just too good for the world.
2. Thunder Flap and Zoom Zephyrwing
Why they were added so high: I actually forgot about these in "A New Generation" even though they had a fairly big role to play. And interestingly enough, G. M. Berrow herself voiced Zoom in the film, but not Tell Your Tale or Make Your Mark. These two seem to be more or less the standard royal guards, only ever truly being seen alongside Queen Haven. They seem to more or less be her official royal escorts, assigned to protect her. I like the headcanon a fan comic brought up, they grew up idolizing the royal family and wanted to do something for them, hence they joined the royal guard. In the film, Thunder and Zoom had a noticeable contrast, Thunder was more paranoid while Zoom seemed more rational and down to earth. Since then, they've largely been the butt of jokes about misfortune happening to them, or them just popping up unexpectedly. There's no word on what exactly these two have going for them, no one I know really ships them at all with anyone. Personally, I see them as brother and sister (or maybe it's sister and brother depending on who came first. Maybe they're twins?).
1. Queen Haven
Why she moved up: There's no mistake about it, Queen Haven has become the breakout character of G5. She had the most screen time of any of the leaders in "A New Generation", and she became the first of the leaders to appear in both Tell Your Tale and Make Your Mark. And they've never shyed away from playing up her personality and her flaws. She truly does care about Zipp and Pipp, and not just as heirs to the throne. The context is pretty clear that she's been a single parent since Pipp at least was a little filly. She's had her own song in the form of "Pony Love", which may or may not be her backstory, and it suggests that she's where Pipp gets her singing talent and love of performing from. And yes, there's her budding romance with Alphabittle, which fans have gone absolutely nuts for. I love that we've gotten to see her in mom mode, but also see her just having fun. She means well, but sometimes her actions can lead to unintended consequences. The only real complaint I have is that her show voice makes her sound old, like really old. Yeah, maybe Haven really is that old. Maybe she's not in the prime of her youth anymore, but to me at least she looks like she's in her forties, maybe her fifties. Plus, how is it that even after all this time she hasn't learned from Pipp how to text or how to do video calls? You'd think Pipp would've taught her by now.
And there you have it, come back tomorrow for my ranking of all the G5 villains, both major and minor.
I have two theories.
1. Starscout is the maiden name of Sunny's mother, and after she was no longer a part of her daughter's life Sunny took her last name to honor her.
2. Sunny's mother had a last name that contained the word "scout" in it, and after Argyle passed away Sunny combined her parents' last names in memory of them.