• Member Since 24th Mar, 2014
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Vivid Syntax


Convention Runner, Statistician, and lover of all things Soarburn

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May
25th
2023

Appleloosa - Thoughts on Flashbacks? · 1:49am May 25th, 2023

Hi, folks!

Now that we're most of the way through this arc of Sensation - Appleloosa, I was curious about something: what did you think of the pacing of the last couple chapters? And the structure overall?

I wanted to give Braeburn's perspective on a few things without retelling all of the original story, but I realize that folks might have been expecting something else. What are your thoughts?

I ask partly because this is the first time I've gone two chapters in a row without getting any comments, so I'm a little nervous that it went over poorly and nobody wants to say anything. Rest assured, I love getting feedback so I can improve.

Thanks!
Vivid

Comments ( 6 )

Hi Vivid, I don’t comment on anything tbh but I’ve been enjoying the last few chapters! For me I think the story probably is at its most gripping when it’s showing us something previously unseen, but the flashbacks are helpful for me as it’s been a while since I read the original and Braeburn’s perspective does add more depth. For the last chapter in particular, knowing where the story is going might have blunted some of the emotional impact of the extended flashback. It did feel a little slower perhaps. But I really don’t have any complaints - I love the story and am just grateful you keep writing!

jxj

Personally, I’ve been pretty busy irl. I haven’t been absorbing it as well, I haven’t been commenting as much and I actually have barely started the last chapter.

That being said, while some of the scenes have been really good, but others haven’t. There’s a balance between how much is summarizing sensation and how much is actually new perspective. Some parts have really added a lot (such as soarin and braeburn meeting) but others have dipped a little to far into summarizing for my taste. Especially as I just finished sensation this week (part of the reason I haven’t finished the new chapter).

If you’re open to feedback, I’d focus a bit more on more substantial scenes for braeburns perspective. Them meeting was a substantial amount of text in both fics, but Appaloosa will summarize a chapter or more of sensation in a single line and that doesn’t work as well. But I have just finished a reread so if you’re wanting to remind people what happened in he first one, I may not be the best person to ask.

But I am still enjoying the fic, even if I don’t comment. Another part of it is that it’s harder to find something to comment on when it’s a review of the previous fic. For the most part, I’ve already commented on what’s happened in sensation and there isn’t always enough mew stuff for me to find something to comment about.

Also, this is unrelated, but after finishing sensation it would be cool to see how soarin and jet stream are doing and if he’s met his step dad and half brothers yet. But I know this fic centers on Braeburn and that probably won’t happen.

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Hi, Reluctant! I appreciate you breaking your commenting habit to give me feedback. It means a lot to me. :heart:

Thanks for the comments about the pacing. I was hoping to keep it pretty tight, but yeah, the last chapter might have covered too much. Fortunately, there's only a little overlap left, so we can move past it quickly. I'm glad you found the new stuff gripping, though! That was my hope.

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Thanks, jxj! I appreciate the reviews and feedback. You've correctly identified the major struggle: balancing for people that have recently read the first fic and those that haven't. It sounds like I might have missed the mark a bit, and I'll keep working to improve.

I’d focus a bit more on more substantial scenes for braeburns perspective.

This is a great note. I think I did a little better with this in chapter 15, but I'll be curious what you think when you read it. I'm drafting chapter 16 now, and I'll keep this in mind.

But I am still enjoying the fic,

Thank you for saying so. I think everyone needs to hear this from time to time. :rainbowlaugh:

it would be cool to see how soarin and jet stream are doing and if he’s met his step dad and half brothers yet

Without spoiling anything, I'll just say that you're the second person to ask me about this particular moment. Rest assured, it's definitely on my mind, too. :scootangel:

I can’t provide any objective feedback since I’ve been loving every second of reading this fic :) fantastic as always! i kind of forgot about the comment section even existing

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Thank you for letting me know! I hope to have the next chapter out soon.

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