Future of the Foalt · 7:15pm May 1st, 2023
Greetings, everyone. I wish I came to you with better news. I’ll get the worst out of the way:
I’m either disabling comments/ratings on all future stories, and/or moving to AO3.
Why? Well, you know those silly internet thumbs up and down, and the comments? They get to me. They get to me SO much. Publishing a story is tantamount to torture as I endlessly refresh over and over to seek external validation for my efforts. Is this pathetic behavior? Absolutely, I agree with that sentiment. But while I’m in therapy and working on improving myself, the only way I can see continuing to write is removing a large chunk of viewer interaction from the publishing process. I believe everyone should have a right to vote yay or nay on their stories and entertainment. That’s why it pains me to do this.
(CW: super heavy emotional stuff below)
I’ve had meltdowns, shutdowns, and mini-seizures. I’ve spent hours screaming and hitting myself endlessly in the head, wanting to be dead. Life itself is sometimes agony and overwhelming so much that I find myself staring out into the void for hours at a time. My immediate family barely knows what to do with me anymore. We think I may be autistic, and the last few years have been triggered by a chance in my mental structure, but…we’re still in the assessment phase. We don’t know anything for sure. All I know is I currently hate 90% of what is going on and just want it all. To. Stop.
That is why I am removing user interaction with my future stories for now, and considering the move to AO3 (which would not only allow me to write, say, loli, but also has a solely positive Kudos system I may be happy with enabling). Past stories will remain open as long as those sections are not abused. I am sorry. But at this stage, it’s do or die. I can’t die because too many people don’t want me gone. So do it is.
Stay filly out there, everyone. It’s a cruel world. Be kind. C’est tout.
AO3 is also known as Archive Of Our Own, by the way.
That’s the main reason why I don’t ever post any negative comments if I do say anything, it’s either constructive criticism. I don’t post anything at all if I don’t like something I don’t Down vote it but then I don’t Up vote it either. And if I Up vote something I like it the way it is
Be aware that I will still be giving your fics imaginary thumb ups even if you can't see them, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
This sounds like the right call to make, 100%. I'm active on both platforms so I'll gladly follow at Ao3 if you decide to crosspost or move. :)
Ao3 was blocked in Russia. But let's imagine that I gave you a positive assessment anyway and support your desire for writing.
However, I still recommend that you become bolder and face your fear. As it was shown by the example of the first two episodes of the first season of MLP.
I wholeheartedly support a move to AO3 just to allow yourself the ability to branch out from this fading fanbase but especially considering the issues you mentioned. While I've always preached separating yourself from your audience and just write for your own enjoyment, I also understand that not everyone is capable of doing that. More importantly though, take care of yourself before you worry about anything else. If you're not in top form, you can't take care of anyone else; that's the first thing they teach you in any medical field (though admittedly it's also the hardest thing to internalize and not feel like you're being selfish). If necessary, don't be afraid to take a break from the internet. Your readers will still be there when you get back. I've relearned that lesson countless times over the years.
Future of the Foalt.
Future of the Fort.
God dammit.