Friendship is Card Games: The Basaltic Breakdown · 1:02pm Mar 5th, 2023
It may seem like nothing's happening with G5 content given the glacial pace at which it’s coming out, but it is accruing, slowly but surely. As proof of that, we begin a two-week block of the Starscout Era.
Issue #9
One could read a lot into the symbolism of the covers for this one. While one just has the Bearers in a happier time, another shows a brilliant demonstration of the G5 main cast being fractured and divided by the past. And while the main one shows them more in harmony with their predecessors, Fluttershy is terribly notable in her absence. (There’s an argument that Hitch aligns with her, especially given his talking to animals, but his nature as pillar of the community, voice of restraint, and surrogate parent definitely gives him some parallels with Tree Kicker.)
“Discord’s about to destroy a Unity Crystal, ridding Equestria of magic for the rest of eternity.”
Which is, of course, why we spent two issues on filler stories. No, I will not let this go. Especially since they’re coming back to Fluttershy’s cottage. It feels like the player did some side quest grinding before coming back to the main plot, which does no favors to the sense of tension.
Yeah, it’s no surprise Zipp is taking this so roughly as the clock runs out. Sunny may have wanted to use magic to unite the tribes, but there’s still hope of them staying together even without the Pegasus Crystal. Zipp wanted magic back to fly under her own power. No amount of nonmagical friendship will keep her aloft if worse comes to worse.
Heh. The orange earth pony telling her scientifically minded friend she needs to stop obsessing and go eat something. The more things change…
Ah yes. I know I’ve had trouble tracking down a problem when the issue was an absence of something that should have been there rather than the presence of something that shouldn’t. I hope Zipp at least enjoyed the Daring Do series (which has held up incredibly well, considering the condition of the cottage.)
That said, I have to wonder how Sunny knows the series so well. Maybe Argyle had a collection of Yearling’s works in the original lighthouse.
Ah. The Basaltic Caves are still geologically active. Discord’s going for the Mount Doom gambit, even if those weren’t the fires in which the crystals were forged.
(Also, did he really need a prolonged period of research to come to the conclusion of "Drop the nigh-indestructible artifact into a volcano"?)
Wait, the Daring Do books are still in print? Or Pipp found an antique collector in record time given her strong Google-fu. Still, wouldn’t be surprised if a good portion of Zephyr Heights was Amazon (Everfree?) warehouses.
On the one hand, I appreciate Izzy not wanting to lose her friends in a quixotic rush to a fiery death in the name of reclaiming the magic that’s already been taking them away from her, to say nothing of her finally saying something about those feelings of exclusion. On the other, I’ve already talked about how other G5 content has trivialized the main conflict of this arc. Izzy is not one to keep her problems to herself for this long, to say nothing of building solutions to them. Say what you will about the shamelessly toyetic Marestream, but it’s a great demonstration of the ingenuity and sheer, reality-defying determination that I enjoy about Izzy.
And just six pages after she’s been obsessively trying to keep herself in the air by investigating every inch of Fluttershy’s cottage, Zipp is now arguing in favor of Discord’s position. Because somepony has to sign off on this pallet of manufactured drama, darn it. (That said, I do appreciate how Discord can’t help but cause… well, discord, even when he’s trying to lessen it.)
Huh. Given the Snow White and Rapunzel Pippsqueaks, it seems like Amy Mebberson’s going for a Disney character theme with the ponified cameos for this arc.
Ah, fans… though it’s equal parts nice and concerning to see that even the adoring public can see the cracks in the team.
There’s some confusing ambiguity about how fictional these ponies think Daring Do is meant to be. Sunny seems to treat the book as less an adventure story and more a detailed travelogue. She certainly doesn’t think of Daring Do according to any pseudonyms.
Ah, the struggle when your coping mechanism grates on everyone else’s nerves.
Sunny’s panic isn’t helping—certainly not when she didn’t give herself enough time to finish reading the book before losing it to lava—but given how this kind of thing usually goes, Discord might well have already destroyed the crystal if they gave themselves more time to prepare.
… or he might have been waiting for them to show up so he had an audience.
“You really are all trying your best, aren’t you?”
Ouch. The only thing worse than the villain gloating is when they actually feel sorry for the horribly outclassed heroes.
Okay, credit to Hitch for immediately trying to chew the bars open on a cage suspended over an active volcano.
“One day you’ll thank me for creating equality among all ponykind.”
Hi there, Starlight. Didn’t see you in Discord’s memories.
And so our heroes end the issue trapped in the remote wilderness. Let’s see how they get out of this one.
Issue #10
Nowhere near as much to say about the covers this time; just a bunch of smiling group shots. Though the main one is certainly touching (and a bit spoilery.)
So Sunny’s plan is to slam the bottom out of the cage hanging over lava. I know she’s desperate, but there’s a difference between desperation and suicide. (I know I praised Hitch for something similar, but at least his plan would leave the floor intact.)
“All I wanted to do was bring magic back to Equestria. I thought it would make things right. But all it’s done is make us fight and argue about everything.”
Only when the plot needs to contrive some kind of conflict and tension. Seriously, the vast majority of of the magic-engendered disharmony has been arguing about the magic-engendered disharmony.
On the one hand, I do like Izzy coming to the defense of Sunny’s ideals when even Sunny doubts them. On the other, could someone pick a position and stick with it, please? I can appreciate changing your mind as new information comes to light, but this kind of “flip a coin to see which side you’re on this page” writing really underscores the artificiality of the conflict. To say nothing of pointing out the flaws in Discord’s logic, not that I expected him to have a completely rational stance.
Ah. Thank goodness for the well-known, well-documented phenomenon that is volcano rabbits. Though I suppose this may mean that Discord is still nearby.
Oh. They were just suspended over a chasm, not molten rock. That’s what I get for making assumptions.
“Abducted by bunnies” is probably not how Zipp wanted to spend today, but it’s a step up from the cage.
Thank goodness for Discord’s need for drama. If it weren’t for that monologue, the ponies would already be too late.
I do appreciate Reginald Fursome’s welding mask.
Huh. It wasn’t until Discord’s noodle-arms panel that I realized he’s been missing half of his pinkie talon this whole time.
Assuming Discord succeeded in destroying magic, how exactly did he plan on getting everypony out of their incapacitating predicaments? (Eh, it’s Discord. Long-term planning has never been his strong suit.)
“You’ve got a voicemail” is certainly one way to announce a message from centuries in the past.
If ever a panel deserved a page to itself, it’s this one. For all I’ve complained about the contrivances and obsolete developments of this arc, this is still a gorgeous moment.
“Fluttershy hadn’t even experienced the worst of it when she recorded that message.”
And doesn’t that raise some concerning questions?
Lovely moment with the spectral butterfly landing on Discord’s horn, and another with Izzy and Hitch providing a drumroll as the crystals are reunited. (Though using the original lighthouse underscores how much canon has moved on from this story arc in the meantime. Especially since some of the filler issues have used the Brighthouse.)
Ah, a much better solution to the problem that started all of this: If some people feel excluded by the current game, design a new game. Also, very nice to see Discord’s applied a modicum of grooming. I imagine there’s an ongoing dispute between him and Pipp over doing more about refining his look.
In all, this definitely had some issues as an opening arc—not least IDW not getting the memo on some of the planned changes from the movie in time to implement the—but there’s still a good amount to enjoy. I look forward to seeing where they go from here, especially with more video content to work with. Even filler issues will be far less aggravating without Discord’s Sword of Damocles hanging over the setting. Though it would have been nice if they’d done something with the early indications that even Discord himself was affected by the glitching magic.
In any case, let’s see how I can bring a little order to this particular chaos:
Seasoned Wayfarer 1W
Creature — Pegasus Scout
Flying
Whenever a player casts their second spell each turn, Seasoned Wayfarer explores. (Reveal the top card of your library. Put that card into your hand if it’s a land. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature, then put the card back or put it into your graveyard.)
2/1
Divisive Stance 1WW
Instant
Council’s dilemma — Starting with you, each player votes for swift or sure. Until end of turn, creatures you control get +1/+0 for each swift vote and +0/+1 for each sure vote.
Everypony agreed that they needed to act, just not how.
Starlit Legacy 3W
Instant
Kicker 1W (You may pay an additional 1W as you cast this spell.)
All creatures have base power and toughness 2/2 until end of turn. If this spell was kicked, creatures you control gain first strike until end of turn.
Some ponies are more equal than others.
Worsening Disruption 1UU
Instant
Counter target spell. Spells that spell’s controller casts this turn cost 1 more to cast.
As the separated crystals weakened, magic glitches happened more and more often.
Ongoing Dispute 2UU
Instant
Counter target spell.
When a spell you control leaves the stack, if it didn’t resolve, return Ongoing Dispute from your graveyard to your hand.
The unending argument echoed through Boulder Grit Canyon, music to Discord’s ears.
Distracting Mnemonic 3UU
Instant
Tap all creatures target player controls.
Draw a card.
Izzy can make a song out of anything, even when nopony else wants her to. Especially when nopony else wants her to.
Reminder of Mortality 2B
Instant
Reminder of Mortality deals 3 damage to target creature. That creature loses indestructible until end of turn. You gain 3 life.
“The armor of righteousness has very poor kinetic absorption.”
—Discord
Scarring Trauma 2B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature or planeswalker
When Scarring Trauma enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to enchanted permanent.
As long as enchanted permanent is a creature, all damage is dealt to it as though that damage’s source had wither. (Damage is dealt to it in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
As long as enchanted permanent is a planeswalker, loyalty counters can’t be put on it.
Broken Resolve 3B
Sorcery
Choose two. You may choose the same mode more than once.
• Target player discards a card.
• Target player sacrifices a creature.
Fluttershy reached out to Discord across the centuries, her gentle words doing what nothing in the modern era could.
Molten Isolation R
Instant
Molten Isolation deals 2 damage to target creature. That creature can’t be the target of spells or abilities its controller controls this turn.
“You should have brought the dragon. He’d be having a much better time right now.”
—Discord
Caldera Coney 1R
Creature — Rabbit
R: Caldera Coney gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
R: Caldera Coney gains haste until end of turn.
Discord’s coterie found the canyon surprisingly hospitable as long as they stayed near him.
1/2
Bridlewood Startosser 2R
Creature — Unicorn Shaman
When Bridlewood Startosser enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice another creature or enchantment. When you do, Bridlewood Startosser deals damage equal to the sacrificed permanent’s mana value to any target.
3/2
Reunite the Crystals 5R
Sorcery
Exile the top three cards of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards. Create three tapped Powerstone tokens. (They’re artifacts with “T: Add C. This mana can’t be spent to cast a nonartifact spell.”)
Magic returned in a blast of potential.
Ensnaring Outburst G
Instant
Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gains reach and gets +1/+X until end of turn, where X is the result. Untap that creature.
An avatar of chaos resorting to tentacles is never a good sign.
Bar-Biter Captive 1G
Creature — Pony Berserker
Trample
Bar-Biter Captive can’t attack unless it has power 4 or greater.
3G: Put a +1/+1 counter on Bar-Biter Captive.
Maretime Bay is largely law-abiding, but there are always exceptions.
2/3
Apiary Raider 2G
Creature — Bear
Multikicker 1G (You may pay an additional 1G any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Apiary Raider enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
When Apiary Raider dies, create a 1/1 green Insect creature token with flying and deathtouch for each counter on it.
3/3
Online Shopping UB
Sorcery
Search your library for a card and reveal it. If that card’s mana value is less than or equal to the number of artifacts you control, put it into your hand and shuffle. Otherwise, shuffle and put that card on top of your library.
Everything, for everypony.
Oversized Overseer 2RW
Creature — Pony Advisor
Dwarves you control get +1/+1 and have first strike.
“They mine it, I pull it. It’s a good deal.”
2/3
Next Shift RW
Sorcery — Adventure
Create two 1/1 red Dwarf creature tokens. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)
Wormhole Forward 3UR
Creature — Chimera Warrior
At the beginning of combat on each player’s turn, goad target creature that player controls. That creature can’t be blocked this turn. (Until your next turn, that creature attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
“Out of bounds” doesn’t apply to portals.
3/3
Fluttershy, Loving Vestige 3GW
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Spirit
Flying, vigilance, lifelink
Whenever you’re dealt combat damage, create that many 1/1 white Insect Spirit creature tokens with flying.
Disturb 6GW (You may cast this card from your graveyard transformed for its disturb cost.)
3/3
In Loving Memory
(GW) Sorcery
Creatures you control gain vigilance and lifelink and get +X/+X until your next turn, where X is the number of creatures you control. Exile In Loving Memory.
”We always knew you’d outlive me. So live.”
—Fluttershy, to Discord
Wondrous Abduction XWU
Instant
Return target nonland permanent with mana value X or less to its owner’s hand. Create X 1/1 white Rabbit creature tokens.
The flamingo croquet wasn’t so bad, but Zipp drew the line at getting sassed by an invisible cat.
Boulder Grit Canyon
Land
When Boulder Grit Canyon enters the battlefield, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Island, Mountain, or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.
A raw wilderness waiting for a guiding hoof to make it more.
I have to admit, I'm having a hard time getting attached to the G5 crew because of the lack of overall plot. I think the comics have done it better even if Discord's plan was ridiculous and technically may have resulted in himself being destroyed. (which he may have wanted) As far as the netflix and youtube series though they just feel... stagnant. Dated even? Like someone said, "Let's make this version feel nostalgic by going with a mustache twirling, maniacal laughing villain and 1970-80's character development for the main characters that lacks any fleshed out three dimensional dynamic! I want to like it, I do, but it's hard.
Definite agreement on that panel. It's beautiful and heartrending. If the G5 comics are lauded for anything, have it be that.
My personal card:
Danger, Vestige of Flame 3RW
Legendary Creature - Pegasus Spirit
Whenever Danger, Vestige of Flame deals combat damage to a player, create three 1/1 white Pegasus Soldier creatures tokens with flying and vigilance
1RW: Danger, Vestige of Flame gets +1/+1 until end of turn
Disturb 6RW (You may cast this card from your graveyard transformed for its disturb cost.)
3/5
Inscription of Flame
Enchantment
Whenever one of more creatures you control attacks, attacking creatures you control gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
5716738
I think Opaline is a bit deeper than some of the g4 villains potentially, but it depends on how far the writers want to take it. So far I'm seeing a racist crackhead who emotionally abuses her adopted daughter.
Panels like that one annoy me, because they are enough proof that despite the lack of communication between the various crews making post-movie G5 content (the web series, shows, comics) the massively misguided ambition where there is ambition at all, misplaced G4 connections, muddled characterisation, and just plain indifference and laziness, that occasionally the various elements can come together for a moment of touching humour, beauty,
humanityponanity. See also: the Portrait Day song, Misty crying into her pillow in the last Chapter 2 episode, etc. So it’s not 100% an indifferent cash grab. And because of my attachment to Pony, I keep watching, even if the longer gaps mean it doesn’t stick in the mind in between content drops.As for these two issues, even were it not for the filler issues, they would have felt a rushed, arbitrary conclusion. But sure, what’s new for the comics? That’s been a mainstay since very nearly their inception, though it only really started being an active problem after the first few years.
5716748
Even the show is no stranger to rushed and arbitrary conclusions, Starlight Glimmer.
Well, indeed. Okay, okay, not quite the same, but our-world volcano rabbits have always been a real favourite of mine, so I can't miss the opportunity to mention them again!
Excellent analogy!
He was holding back? A lot.