Friendship is Card Games: Just Say "Yes" & Smoothie Operators · 1:06pm Jan 8th, 2023
This week, we reach the present moment with the G5 IDW comics; issue #8 only came out this week. Let’s see where we stand as of now.
Just Say “Yes”
Oof, that cover. Hitch is many things, but a party pony is not one of them.
So Hitch definitely does live at the sheriff’s office. Going by that fully paid mortgage Sprout mentioned in the movie, I can only assume that he actually owns the place… which in a company town like Maretime Bay, actually kind of makes sense. And makes Haven appropriating that mural all the more infuriating for him.
There’s something weirdly appropriate about Hitch’s sound effects being full-on words rather than just onomatopoeia. What is language but a set of regulations on how to communicate?
Also, I hadn’t pegged him as a Panic! At The Stable fan, but that poster may be from an earlier part of his life.
Ah. The autumnal equinox may no longer call for a Running of the Leaves, but there is a Harvest Day celebration. We’ve certainly seen some sign of agriculture in Maretime Bay—the community garden aside, the produce for Sunny’s smoothies has to come from somewhere—and this bit of earth pony cultural heritage runs very deep indeed. To say nothing of the tradition of holidays as the plot demands. 
(On the other hand, the first day of autumn may be early for this sort of thing…)
Oh. For some reason, the role of sheriff—which Hitch characterizes as “helping ponies” rather than, say, law enforcement—does include acting as master of ceremonies during town festivals. They really should’ve just made him the mayor after the movie.
An overexcited Sunny rattles off an interesting list of activities for the day: “Hayrides, straw bale mazes, scarepony-making contests, apple pie baking…” It feels like the writer didn’t get the memo that Maretime Bay isn’t Ponyville. Somepony has to be feeding the town, of course, but there’s never been anywhere near the focus on agriculture here that Applejack gave to G4. At the very least, it seems like there’s a much bigger hay crop than I realized.
(There’s also the matter of “scareponies” scaring the wrong species. Especially when Friendship is Magic got that right; see “Bats!”)
So… any reason why Sunny can’t get those extra tossing rings herself? She does appear to be in a hurry, but it’s not clear why or for what.
“The start of a new season gives me hope that we can find Discord.”
Why do I get the feeling that this is the only time this issue will acknowledge the overarching plot?
An entire page is dedicated to Hitch looking for the rings. And emphasizing the pun in “Neighborhood Sporting Goods,” in case anyone missed it. This is after a full-page panel of very little happening. I’m increasingly concerned about how much of a nothing-burger this issue will be.
Ooh, nice crossover cameo with Charlie Brown running the kissing booth. Haven’t seen many of those in G5.
I honestly appreciate how the comics just aren’t bothering with G5’s one-sided cutie marks. It’s honestly a weird and unnecessary detail that has already led to some awkward choreography in order for cutie mark magic to manifest.
Also, looks Sunny needed to organize (or at least participate in) the tug-of-war. I hope it's the former.
Huh. Rare example of Sprout actually doing something. And of Phyllis existing. Though the joke doesn’t land; the mud feels gratuitous.
I like the idea that Pipp’s strength is directly proportional to how much she needs to lift for the sake of clout. She needs a camerastallion for a live feed? She will get a full grown earth stallion on the float by any means necessary.
“I’m Hitch. I always make space for others.”
Unfortunately, he can’t make time, and he’s running out of it.
There’s Zipp, and at this point I can’t help but compare this story to Zen and the Art of Gazebo Repair, with Big Mac in a similar situation… and this really does pale in comparison. The big issue is the barebones, formulaic plot: Hitch tries to get to the DJ booth, a friend asks him to help, he does so despite the growing time constraint, repeat through his whole social circle. Zen was similar, but had Andy Price filling each page with background details, ponies, and explosions that made it a visual feast. Here the festivities feel a lot more barren and lifeless. And we only have five pages left.
The obstacle course provides an excellent example of what I mean—as I said, we’ve come to Zipp’s part of the foreach loop—and skips over something that might have actually been interesting to see. I’d much rather see Hitch struggle through the course than a page of him wandering through a sporting goods store. All we have is his word that it somehow turned him off apples… to the point of vomiting in a bush. Yes, definitely the part of his adventure that deserves a highlight. 
Aw. The others chipping in—even Sprout!—to help Hitch get ready in time is a nice touch. The heart-eyed deadmau5 mask is… a choice.
Yeah, this was easily the most forgettable pony comic I’ve ever seen. It’s a sad day when it feels like the writer was struggling to fill twenty pages (and two full-page spreads definitely give that impression.) Putting it in when we’re in the middle of a potentially apocalyptic plotline is almost insulting. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? At least finish telling that first arc before going for the obvious filler.
Smoothie Operators
Ah, speaking of Andy Price, here’s his triumphant return to the inner pages. Though first we have a lovely Sunny/Izzy collab: Smoothie sweaters! Very Mabel Pines. The Mane 6 sweaters are either lovely touches or reminders of better times depending on how you look at it. (Even after the disappointment of the last issue, I’m leaning towards the former.)
Price does still seem to be adjusting to this generation’s style on that first page. Very chubby cheeks in some panels. On the other hand, I appreciate how Izzy is actually concerned about Discord. This must be how NPCs feel while the player’s mopping up side quests before facing the last boss of an RPG.
Oh hey, I think this is the first time we’ve the Brighthouse in the comics. It will be interesting to see them try to get somewhat in line with the rest of the G5 continuity… even if the flashback shows earth ponies creating flowers in their hoofsteps just after magic returned to Equestria.
Interesting to see how Price presents Sunny’s horn and wings as more physically present. And how Izzy, lifelong social pariah, didn’t know how to deal with her best friend’s sudden boost in popularity, at least in terms of the number of ponies wanting to get to know her.
Ah, and we appear to get to the very incident that led to Discord’s crusade against magic: Sunny going flying with the pegasisters and leaving Izzy behind. Izzy being sad that she can’t fly rings more than a little hollow when I reviewed a Tell Your Tale short just last week of how she got a hang glider working, but we are in a flashback. That definitely took some practice to pull off.
I do like the lingering prejudice among earth ponies against unicorns. This is just after magic returned, after all. It took a while to unlearn generations of propaganda.
Price does do great storefronts… but I have to wonder what “hay chops” entail.
The Glitter Blast-o-Matic presumably doesn’t need to drain the lifeforce of an entire village to function. Not the hoofheld model, anyway.
“Sparkle Glue” leads to a number of questions, some deeply concerning.
Strong Wattersonian vibes in Izzy forgetting the lid on a blender and using the opportunity to taste-test the current experiment.
Lovely historical touches in the decorations on Izzy’s skates and helmet: Apples, stars, diamonds, rainbows, even a “20% Cooler.” The question does remain of just how much Sunny knows about the Bearers.
An earth pony with a witch hat and broom for a cutie mark raises a number of questions. Especially one with a green coat. I’m pretty sure she isn’t water-soluble.
Ah, clear communication and valid points from both sides. This is deeply refreshing. The idea that Argyle helped Sunny come up with many of her smoothie recipes is… an interesting concept. Not sure how well that works out, though my hesitance there may just be a matter of it running counter to my expectations. Regardless, great stuff, and clearly events that played out after Discord stopped looking, his preconceived notions already confirmed.
We end on an ominous note… and a curious one. There’s the question of whether Discord shaved or if the editor didn’t catch Price using the older (younger?) design until it was too late.
Still, at least this issue feels more justified in its existence than the previous one. And it’s a fun use of Izzy’s aura sight. Let’s see what I pull out of this mixed bag:
Hedge Witch 1W
Creature — Pony Warlock
Coven — At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more creatures with different powers, you gain 2 life.
Unicorns weren’t the only ones whose superstitions started working after magic’s return.
2/2
Optimistic Blockhead 2WW
Creature — Pony Citizen
Optimistic Blockhead gets +2/+2 as long as another creature attacked this turn.
Hope springs eternal… and, like hoofballs, inevitably crashes back down to earth.
3/3
Aerial Organizer 3W
Creature — Pegasus Employee
Flying, vigilance
When Aerial Organizer enters the battlefield, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
“Nice, clean single-file line, folks. The Wonderbolts aren’t going anywhere.”
2/3
Quick Favor U
Instant
Tap target creature. Create a tapped Treasure token. (It’s an artifact with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.”)
Sometimes a polite request is all the mind control you need.
Blueberry Expansion 1U
Instant
Target creature gets -X/+X until end of turn, where X is its power.
“I don’t think that dessert course will ever work out.”
—Cheese Sandwich, research notes
Dunk Tank Volunteer 1U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s untap step.
Whenever enchanted creature’s controller rolls a die, they may put enchanted creature into its owner’s library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.
Masked Songshaper 2U
Creature — Pony Bard
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, turn target nontoken creature face down. (It’s a 2/2 creature.)
A mask behind the turntables makes it all the easier for the audience to lose themselves in the music.
2/2
Cheese Season 1B
Enchantment
B, Exile a card from your graveyard: Create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
As with any other culinary technique, rot used in moderation makes dishes all the more delicious.
Deadlift 1B
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap an untapped creature you control.
Return target creature card with mana value X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the tapped creature’s power.
Death’s grip is insistent but brittle.
Third-Ear Gossip 2B
Creature — Unicorn Warlock
When Third-Ear Gossip enters the battlefield, target opponent reveals X cards from their hand, where X is the number of Unicorns you control. Choose one of them. That player discards that card.
“They thought it on the grapevine.”
2/1
Crimson Sparkle 1R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +3/+0 and attacks each combat if able.
When enchanted creature dies during combat, return Crimson Sparkle from your graveyard to your hand.
The cycle of violence turns itself.
Ring Tosser 1R
Creature — Pony Guest
Whenever Ring Tosser attacks, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, Ring Tosser gets +3/+3 and gains first strike and trample until end of turn.
The game doesn’t have to be rigged when the player has no thumbs.
2/2
Free Thinker 3R
Creature — Unicorn Artificer
Haste
“Nopony ever made a better tomorrow by sitting around.”
4/2
Creative Impulse 1R
Instant — Adventure
Exile the top card of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play that card. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)
Battle Spangler 2G
Creature — Unicorn Warrior
Boast — 1G: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there. Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn.)
“You’ll sparkle like the sun when I’m through with you!”
3/2
Bushy-Tailed Roadie 2G
Creature — Squirrel Bard
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, you get A (an acorn counter).
Pay AAA: Return target enchantment card from your graveyard to your hand.
A great help to those who don’t mind the odd microphone stashed with the hazelnuts.
2/2
Artful Craftsmare 3G
Creature — Unicorn Employee
Vigilance
Whenever you open an Attraction for the first time each turn, open an additional Attraction.
After seeing how much she could do with glitter and construction paper, Myra gladly slashed the construction budget.
3/3
Deluxe Smoothie Wagon 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and lifelink.
Equip 2
Fabulosity GW (GW: If this artifact isn’t fabulous, put a gem counter on it and it becomes fabulous.)
As long as Deluxe Smoothie Wagon is fabulous, if you would gain life, you gain twice that much life instead.
Warding Scarepony 4
Artifact Creature — Scarecrow Pony
Reach
Warding Scarepony gets +3/+0 as long as it’s blocking or blocked by a Pegasus or Unicorn.
The tribes’ meetings during the Ebb of Magic never went well.
2/4
Guess the Weight
Artifact — Attraction
Visit — Exile the top two cards of your library face down, then turn one face up. Guess whether the other has greater or lesser mana value, then turn it face up. If you guessed right, claim the prize! Otherwise, put those cards on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Prize — Put those cards into your hand, then sacrifice Guess the Weight and open an Attraction.
(2 lights)
Obstacle Course
Artifact — Attraction
Visit — Until your next turn, creatures can’t attack you or planeswalkers you control unless their controller pays 2 for each of those creatures.
For added incentive, the restrooms are on the other side of the course.
(2 lights)
Telekinetic Flourish 1UR
Instant
Create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token with flying, haste, and “This creature gets +1/+1 for each artifact you control.” Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.
Flashback 3UR (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)
Culinary Collaboration 2(gw)(gw)
Sorcery
Creatures you control get +2/+2 until end of turn. Those creatures gain vigilance until end of turn if GG was spent to cast this spell and gain lifelink until end of turn if WW was spent to cast it.
Izzy took Sunny’s business in a bold, delicious new direction.
Parading Pipp 3WU
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Performer
Flying
Whenever you cast your second spell each turn, you get TK (a ticket counter), then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Each creature you control with three or more words in its name has double strike.
Each creature you control with five or more words in its name has triple strike.
3/3
Sparkle Seer 3GW
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Each other creature you control is the colors of Auras attached to it in addition to its other colors.
Each other creature you control gets +1/+1 for each of its colors.
“You shine so brightly. It’s a shame not to share that with everypony."
2/4
Yeah, ever if Silver Quill hadn't made this observation, I'd still feel it. It's just a protracted nothing, and outside of the only comics appearances of Sprout and Phyllis, I already remember almost zilch beyond the bare-bones plotting and basic scenario. It'd feel like a waste of time ever if it weren't interrupting the Discord arc.
I hadn't thought of that awkward choreography point (which shows how much the MYM episodes have lingered in the mind!). But it's a good point. For what it's worth, while most of the Boulder Media crew's statements about design decisions for financial/animation reasons made sense (particularly the fluffy/winged hooves), their assertion that double-sided cutie marks looked off in CG never felt right.
Speaking of interrupting the Discord arc, if one can overlook that same dilemma for Issue 8 (which I only read yesterday, so fresh perspective) they are rewarded with easily the best G5 issue thus far (or at least round the top, nearly everything not connected to the Discord arc has faded already). Izzy's dilemma feels believable enough, she tackled it in ways that feel fine, Sunny's response feels fine. The writing has very little to stand out, but very little to kill it beyond the Discord arc thing and a few continuity hiccups resulting no doubt from IDW/Hasbro not providing adequate cohesion & visibility between teams, writers and artists.
I do wish Price got a more substantial issue to work on than this, but despite some wobbly facial poses from adapting to this art style and a lower number of background gags and nods than he usually provides, he reminds of why he's so beloved. Many dynamic poses and faces, several funky and neat visuals and wordings. Not enough to make the issue memorable, but was at least smiling in parts when reading it. Not feeling like it was a waste of time is faint praise, but it is praise here.
I mean, he adopted a different way or portraying Celestia and Luna's manes, and one that struck a chord and became the norm in the comics. This isn't that, and I seriously doubt it'll stick, but I'd be lying if I said it bothered me at all. Besides, in TYT, when they're around but not being used, Sunny's wings and horn look physical, just a yellow colour. So, y'know, it's fine.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: If both cards for Guess the Weight have the same mana value, you automatically lose. Carnival games are rigged, remember?
So you're saying it's true to the source material.
First everybody complains that they don't know what happened to her, now they don't like the answer...
I feel like the authors just don't really know what to do with Hitch. Or really have any idea what a sheriff actually does.
Also, Izzy has to be some sort of descendant of Pinkie Pie, or some sort of reincarnation.
5707610
Caveat: they don't know what a sheriff does when he's not allowed to use guns. Which he isn't, because TV-Y (and I guess having hooves, but the writers don't pay nearly as much attention to that as they probably should.)
7 was definitely a killer filler. Discord's only mentioned once out of 300 words and immediately forgotten and even Zen has life in it with Big Mac stressing out. We got that in the cover, but none of that shown in the actual comic. Likewise, Pipp doesn't appear cancelled like the issue 4 cover shows. Cancellation on social media is more intense and unforgiving than that.