Previous Chapters Next
Close
I - I've Just Seen A Face7,172 words
II - Sweetest Thing2,984 words
III - Peace of Mind2,327 words
IV - I'm Looking Through You3,016 words
V - In My Life4,302 words
VI - Can't Fight this Feeling3,537 words
VII - Blowin' in the Wind3,309 words
VIII - Scar Tissue1,786 words
IX - Until I Find You Again7,737 words
(NonCanon) Winter Wonderland3,960 words
X - Happy Birthday!4,471 words
XI - Boys Cry Tough3,779 words
Thank You942 words

IX - Until I Find You Again

Tears of Snow
By - FlashKenshin77
Chapter IX - Until I Find You Again
Edited by - WeLCxAlphaPuppy

“Life that has been lost cannot be brought back again. That very truth is what shows us the meaning and value of living.”

~;~

I could hear ponies mumbling, their voices quiet and far away. I opened my eye, everything fuzzy. I tried to talk, my mouth feeling like it was full of cotton balls and my tongue was numb. Some sort of mask went over my mouth and darkness took over again.

I heard ponies frantically talking, the steady beeps of some machine going off in the background. It seemed like they were worried about something as I could faintly feel a pinch in my hoof. I twitched, trying to move and stretch but nothing happened as I greeted the darkness once more.

The alarm clock echoed through the house as I groggily opened my eyes, and stared at the ceiling for a moment. I leaned forward, scratching my head. My nose told me Mom must have made something good for breakfast, my stomach loudly agreeing. I flung the covers up, and stiffly walked into the bathroom.

“Icy! Breakfast’s ready!” Mom yelled. I heard hoofsteps in the kitchen.

“Okay!” I yelled back, walking out of the bathroom and bumped into Dad, my head bouncing off his armor. I rubbed my head, trying to soothe the pain.

“Sorry Icy, didn’t see you.” He said and bent down, pushing my hoof away. “You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I huffed, shaking my head.

He smiled and ruffled my mane. “That’s my little soldier.” He paused and squinted at the little lump. “Maybe we should ask Mom to look at it...”

I quickly pushed his hoof away. “I’m fine Dad!” I said grumpily.

He chuckled and picked me up, careful of his armor. I wrapped my hooves around his neck and we walked into the kitchen. Mom was waiting for us, her vibrant violet eyes and orange coat glowing in the morning sun. She leaned in and kissed Dad as I hopped off his back and sat at the table.

Dad grinned and nuzzled her cheek. “I’ll be home a bit late today, gotta show the recruits some tips on how to patrol without causing a ruckus.”

“Alright, be careful.”

“Always am.” He winked at her before he turned to me. “Make sure you pay attention in school today.”

I rolled my eyes. “I will…”

“Good. If you do, I’ll teach you a few moves.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Only if you do good in school.” He said, waving goodbye before he left, the door shut behind him.

I yawned, rubbing my eyes as I watched Mom finish making breakfast. She paused, staring out the window. “Mom, you okay?”

She turned around, and tears were pouring down her face. “Mom, what’s wrong?” I asked, scared as I jumped out of my seat, and rushed over to her.

“Why?” She whispered, the plate dropping and shattering on the cloud.

“What?”

She fell to her knees as the color slowly drained from her face. “Why did you kill me?” She asked, her voice weak.

I stopped, and stood in shock. I blinked as my ears flicked. “Bu-I… I didn’t.” I stuttered as I cried.

She looked up at me, our eyes locking as her hoof touched my cheek. “B-because of you… I… I died…” She muttered, her body shaking. “I bring you into this world and this is how you repay me?”

I tried to grab her but I was frozen, locked in place as I watched her twitch uncontrollably. Her body flailed about, her wings lying useless on the ground. Her eyes never left mine, the pain and betrayal she felt stabbing into my heart. She grew still as her body began to glow like a torchlight. The light took over her eyes, the pupils vanishing as she took a deep breath...

It felt like I stood in fire as I watched her body disintegrate, the remains still glowing faintly before seemingly going dead. I took a hesitant step forward, my hoof touching where my Mom laid. “M-mom?” I asked hesitantly.

There was rustling as something moved within her ashes. I took a step back as a wisp of smoke drifted from the pile. “WHY DID YOU KILL HER?!” Dad yelled, his body bursting out her ashes. His body was on fire as smoke swallowed the house. His eyes liquified and morphed into Mom’s, fear and pain shining through. “WHY?” He bellowed again, his mouth opening wide as smoke poured out.

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move as I felt the fire eat at me. Something compressed against my chest, and I gasped for air. I heard a loud crackling as fire burst from his mouth. The last thing I heard before the world vanished was somepony crying and calling my name.

I jolted awake, Dad’s eyes still glaring, accusing me. I tried to calm down and took rapid breaths as I slowly looked around, everything blurry and bright. Something was pinching me and found a needle embedded in my arm, held there by tape. I went to reach for it, everything in slow motion.

“Thank goodness you’re finally awake.” Primrose said, quickly walking over to me and wrapped me in a hug.

I blinked a few times, my mind fuzzy as I wrapped my hooves around her and yelped in pain when I tried to move my right hoof.

She placed her hoof on top of mine and gently pushed it down. “Don’t move it, it’s not fully healed yet.” She said quietly. I buried my face into her chest, closing my eyes and listened to her heart. She ran a hoof through my mane and kissed the top of my head. “I’m so glad you’re alright…”

I gasped as everything flooded back to me and I quickly pushed her away, gritting my teeth as I forced my arm to move. “You gotta get away from me!” I yelled hoarsely, my mouth dry.

She looked at me sadly, shaking her head. “Why would I do that?”

“B-because… I’ll kill you too…” I whispered, staring into the bed sheets. “I already killed my Mom, I don’t want to do the same to you…” I muttered, barely audible. I sniffed, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Icy, there’s nothing in the world that would make me leave you.”

“Please… I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you… Snowdrop would hate me and Storm would do what he did to Dad.”

“Icy.” She said quietly and I forced myself to look at her; she was crying, a few tears falling down her face. “Nothings going to happen to me, I’m perfectly fine. And if anything did, no pony would blame you. Ever. Things like this happen out of our control and what happened to your mom… oh, I’m so sorry. No pony should never have that happen to them.” She wiped away the tears. “But you have to know that you always have a home with us and I may not be your mom but I’ll do everything I can to make sure that you’re taken care of.”

“Why? Why are you doing all this for somepony like me?”

She paused, opening her mouth a few times but closing it before saying anything. Finally she sighed and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. “When I was a little filly, my mom always told me to help who you can, no matter the cost. And as a mother, it hurts me to see any filly or colt going through what you are. Maybe its because you mean something to me, even though we’ve only known each other for a few months. You’re apart of our family and I know it hurts Storm to see you hurt… and unable to do anything to help.” She took a deep breath. “Family care for each other and make sure that everypony’s taken care of. If something happens to one then we all chip in and make sure they’re taken care of.”

“You think I’m f-family?”

“Of course you are, why wouldn’t you?”

“I… I thought you just let me come over cause you felt sorry for me…”

She shook her head. “Icy, family isn’t restricted by blood, its by who you love and trust. We may not be related in any sense but I love you just like I love Snowdrop. I want you to be happy and taken care of. Something… something that you haven’t had before.”

I didn’t say anything, too afraid to speak. Somepony knocked on the door. “Come in.” She said as the door opened and a very familiar pony walked through.

“Ms. Healium? What are you doing here?” I asked.

She smiled as she walked in, her nurse uniform gone, replaced by a simple blue blouse, a pair of saddlebags hung off her sides. “Good morning to you too.” She said, shutting the door behind her. “It seems as if those ‘thugs’ came back, huh?”

I coughed as Primrose looked at me curiously. “Uh, you see…”

“It’s alright Icy, I know what happened. I really wouldn’t be a good social worker if I didn’t.”

“S-social worker? But I thought you were the school nurse?”

“Part time nurse; not many filles or colts get hurt. Just happened to be at the right time to patch you up.” She said, sitting down and grabbed some files from her saddlebags. “Since then I’ve been digging around, just in case those bruises turned into something more… serious.” She coughed before turning to Primrose. “Have you told him anything?”

“No, I didn’t think it was the right time.”

“He does have a right to know.”

“He just woke up, I thought he could at least relax down a bit…”

“Hello? Right here.” I muttered as they nervously smiled.

“Right… well, as much as I like to sugarcoat it, it’s been pretty hectic week.”

“WEEK? I’ve been out for a week!?”

They nodded. “First couple days were touch and go, it was quite scary. The doctors weren’t sure how bad the… um damage would be.” Primrose said quietly.

“Damage?”

“Do you remember what happened at your house?” Healium asked.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember. “I… remember arguing with my dad and punching him… and then he told me what happened to Mom…”

“I see…” Primrose looked away as it got eerily quiet.

“What?”

“Icy, during your father’s ‘breakdown’, he slammed you into your table. The impact was hard enough to dislocate your shoulder. But the table couldn’t handle the continuous hits and shattered. A piece of the table pierced your shoulder and ripped through the connecting tendons and muscle. They were able to fix most of it, but some… couldn’t be repaired.”

I was silent, staring at my hoof in the sling. “So… what does that mean?”

“It’ll heal and get stronger but… because of how the wood cut them, the muscles won’t heal right and you’ll have a slight limp.”

“Oh...” I mumbled.

“It won’t really be noticeable but you won’t be able to run any marathons any time soon.” Healium joked.

It was silent in the room, no pony sure what to say and Healium cleared her throat. “I know its a lot to handle, but we need-”

“We can deal with that later.” Primrose interrupted, glaring at Healium. The two waged a silent battle before Healium nodded slowly. “So there’s something else you should know.” She finally said.

I looked at her. “What?”

“While you were... incapacitated, the Princesses arrived for the Spring Sun Celebration… and Snowdrop won.”

I paused and faintly smiled. “I’m glad, what did she give them?”

“A snowflake.”

“Snowflake?”

She nodded. “Everypony takes winter for granted and hates the cold and snow. Snowdrop made them realize that winter is just as important, it brings us together and rejuvenates Terra, the water giving the ground life again.”

“It seems everypony had a lot to learn from Snowdrop, myself included. I always hated winter but she made me realize its just wonderful and pretty as any other season.” Healium agreed.

I looked at the bed, trying to hold back tears. “T-that seems like something she’d do…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Snowflakes… they’re little gifts for the winter and everyone is different right? What happens at the end of winter? They melt and disappear… just like ponies.”

“While that may be, there’s a big difference between us and them. Even if we’re gone, everypony that knew us will keep us alive in their hearts. As long as you don’t forget about somepony and think about them, they’re never really gone.”

“But that’s the thing… I never had the chance to meet the pony I want to remember…”

Healium rubbed the back of her neck as she seemed to purposely lose herself in her saddlebag. Primrose faintly smiled as she scooted closer to me. “Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. Snowflakes are like stars, so even if she is gone, she’ll surround you with her love.”

I looked at her, my vision blurred with tears. “A-are you sure?”

“Of course I am, I’ve never been more sure in my life.”

I leaned forward, resting my head against her chest as I closed my eyes. I felt her hooves wrap around me, squeezing my gently. “It’s going to be alright Icy, we’ll always be here for you.”

“As much as I hate to ruin this moment, we do have some pressing matters to attend to.” Healium said.

Primrose sighed and nodded, letting me go as I fell back against the pillow. “She’s right.”

“What do you mean?”

Primrose’s wings rustled. “Well… it seems Princess Celestia asked for a visit…”

I blinked. “What?”

“Princess Celestia wants to meet you, but I told her she’d have to wait till you get better.”

“Uh…” I stuttered, shocked she’d say no to Celestia. “I… uh, guess whenever’s good for her? B-but why would she want to meet with me?”

“Your dad was a former sun guard and she said it was her responsibility to make sure you were okay. Paid for everything too, no matter how much I tried to stop her.”

“Oh… I… uh… not sure what to say…” I mumbled, once again at a loss for words.

“Do you want me to go get her?”

I nodded. “Yeah… I mean, not like we can say no-”

“Are you sure? Because I can tell her to wait for a little while longer.” Primrose said calmly.

I gulped. “N-no, I’m alright…” I paused. “Is… is Snowdrop here?”

Primrose smiled. “Yes she is. I’ll bring her in too.” Primrose got up and left the room, the door shutting behind her.

Healium took a deep breath. “Well I never thought I’d find somepony that’d say no to Celestia, Primrose is scary…”

“Yeah…”

“I know this is a lot to take in right now but just know I’ll do what I can to make sure this gets settled fast.” She said, searching for a something in her saddlebag. “Primrose and Storm made it perfectly clear that they plan on adopting you as soon as you can leave the hospital and the judge agreed, so you’ll be staying with them.” She paused before staring me in the eye. “They also want you to go on trial against your dad, apparently the doctor’s testimony wasn’t good enough. The judge also said you’re to inherit all your father’s possessions so Primrose, Storm, and I are going to pack them up and move them over to their house.”

“Wh-”

“I know its confusing but I have to be there to take anything that might be considered evidence. Just relax and let us handle everything.” She said as the door opened. Guards rushed into the room, making sure it was safe. “I’m sure the hospital is safe.” Healium said sarcastically.

The guard looked at her coldly. “Just doing my job ma’am.”

“That’s quite alright Clashing.” A very calm voice said as Princess Celestia walked in. Everypony bowed as I tried to do the same, my body refusing to move. She held up a hoof and motioned everypony to rise. “It’s fine Icy, I don’t want you to get hurt anymore than necessary.”

“Pr-princess Celestia, its an honor to me-meet you…” I stammered, not sure what to say.

She smiled. “The pleasure is all mine. So how are you feeling?”

“I… uh… guess I’m doing alright your majesty.”

“I see.” She looked at her guards. “I think its safe enough for me to be alone.”

“But your highness-”

She raised a hoof. “I’m sure no pony is going to try and hurt me in a hospital.”

The guards looked at each other before nodding. “Yes Princess, we’ll be waiting outside.” Clasher said, the guards leaving me and Ms. Healium alone with the Princess.

Celestia sighed. “Now that they’re gone let’s try this again, how are you feeling?”

“Well… I have been better…”

“Icy…” Healium said, glaring at me.

“It’s okay, a little humor is always good in these situations.” Celestia. “Well I’m glad to see that you’re alright, after everything that’s happened.”

I gulped. “Princess? If I may ask a question.”

“You just did but yes?”

I faintly smiled. “N-not that I’m not thankful for your visit… but… why are you here? I’m sure you have a million other places to be.”

“You are right, I’m sure there’s quite a few places I should be but I think this is the most important.”

“Really? Why?”

She looked me in the eye, pain and concern clearly shown as she bent her head. “I was hoping to ask for your forgiveness.”

Ms. Healium and my jaws dropped. “Wha… my… my forgiveness?” I squeaked.

Celestia nodded. “It seems that I overlooked something that led to all this…”

“Please Princess, it’s alright. I… uh, forgive you, just please, stop bowing. I don’t deserve this.” I quickly said.

She stood up and gazed into my eyes again. “Once I heard about what happened, the name… sounded so familiar to me. I looked it up and it seemed like your father had quite the reputation with the guard. I talked to his old sergeant and was told that he had to have a weekly meeting with your father, usually talking about his aggression.” She paused, closing her eyes. “In fact, I remember meeting him once about this problem, I could sense a lot of pent up anger at something but could never figure out what. I ignored my sister’s warning and let him continue to serve as a guard. If only I had listened, maybe this all wouldn’t have happened. And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

I blankly stared at her, my mind numb. If that never happened, he never would’ve met Mom… and she’d still be here…

“Whether we like them or not, the past is the past and we can’t change that, not even you Princess.” Healium added.

“Yes, I know. But things could’ve been vastly different if I had listened.”

“He could’ve never met Snowdrop and give her the inspiration for the snowflakes.”

“That may be.”

“Wait, what?” I asked. “I… I inspired her? How?”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Celestia asked, using her horn to open the door.

Primrose and Snowdrop stood there, uncertain what to do. “We… we were waiting till the Princess said everything that she needed to.” Primrose said nervously.

“I believe I have.” Celestia got up and smiled at me. “I wish you the best Icy and know if you need anything, I’ll always be there to help.” She said, wishing us goodbye before walking out, the guards trailing her.

Primrose led Snowdrop to the bed, Snowdrop trying her best not to cry. Healium and Primrose shared a look before Healium got up. “Well I think I have enough to work with, I’ll come by tomorrow and see how you’re doing.” She said, packing up her saddlebags and leaving quickly, shutting the door behind her.

Snowdrop was quiet and I was too afraid to say anything. Primrose poked her with a wing. “He’s okay Snowdrop, go ahead.”

Snowdrop felt blindly for me and I scooted closer to her. She quickly latched onto me, careful of my hoof as she started crying. I patted her back with my good hoof, looking as Primrose. Primrose was crying as well. “She was so worried… she barely even slept. Every day she’d come in and hope that you’d wake up…” Her voice cracked. “She barely smiled lately and nothing I or Storm did helped.”

I took a deep breath. “Hey Snowdrop…”

“Are you okay?” She asked before quickly pushing herself off me. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, I’m fine Snowdrop.”

“No your not, your… your hoof is hurt…”

“It’ll get better.”

“Not for a long time… and I… I heard about your mom, I’m so sorry…”

“Snowdrop, its alright, its not your fault, its mine.”

“Icy, what did we-” Primrose tried to say before I interrupted her.

“I know! But if I wasn’t born it means she would be alive! Even if it wasn’t my fault, I still caused her to die. That’s fact, Celestia even said she could’ve stopped it… but she didn’t…”

“It’s not your fault.” Snowdrop whispered.

“How isn’t it?!”

“Because somepony as nice as you couldn’t have!”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not nice, I’m a monster.”

“STOP SAYING THAT!” Snowdrop yelled, tears falling down her face. “This past week, I waited for you to wake up, to make sure you were okay. And every day it was the same, you’d be asleep… mumbling, crying. Nothing I did… helped. I was useless.” She paused. “You were my first friend… the first pony that actually saw something other than a blind reject, a hopeless cause… And here I was not able to do anything!” She paused and wiped her eyes. “I wished and prayed on the snow, hoping that they’d hear me… and it seemed to work, cause you're finally awake. But now that you are, you're blaming yourself for something no pony had any control over! I understand nothing we say will change your mind, you have to believe it yourself. But answer me this, could a monster help a blind filly find the one thing that she’s been searching for her entire life? Just one… friend?”

I refused to meet her gaze, staring at the bed sheets. I didn’t know what to say, my mind and heart battling against each other. She’s right… I didn’t kill my mom… something happened and it wasn’t my fault… but… if I wasn’t here, then she would be… “I… I don’t know what to say…” I whispered.

She grabbed my hoof. “I don’t want you to just say something to make me happy Icy. I want you to believe it, you to understand that something that was supposed to be beautiful turned into something so horrible.”

“But how… how can I live-”

“Would she want you to blame yourself?” Primrose asked quietly.

“No but…”

“You still see yourself as a horrible pony for what happened and I understand that.” She paused, steeling herself. “The fact remains that yes, in a roundabout way, you killed her.”

“Mom!” Snowdrop said, horrified.

“Let me finish sweetie. Icy, everypony can spend countless hours saying that it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do it, it was all a horrible accident. But when we leave, it comes back. Only you can change the way you feel, not me, not Snowdrop or Storm. We’ve done all we can to try and help you see it... and I don’t want to see you hurt anymore than you already are.” She sighed. “You have to look deep inside and take a deep look at yourself and really think if that’s who you are, a monster. Or are you just a victim of a horrible circumstance?” She got up, picking Snowdrop up and putting her on her back. “I think its best we leave you alone to do some thinking.”

“Wait.” Snowdrop said, turning around and looked at me. “If you think that just because you were born that you killed her… what about me? I was born blind, does that make me a monster?”

“No…”

“Then why are you?”

“But… you didn’t…”

“I know but I must’ve done something to be born blind. What did I do Icy? Was a bad pony for merely existing or was it just a cruel accident? I’ve learned things I never would've if I could see… Just… just think about that okay?” She said, waving goodbye as they shut the door.

I leaned against the pillows, the sun starting its descent, the shadows growing in the room. I sighed, staring at my injured hoof. What… what do I do? Tears streamed down my face. I… I don’t know how to feel… everything’s just going too fast… I… why… I held a hoof over my eyes, trying to stop the tears. Please… somepony… just tell me how to feel…

“No pony can, only you can decide that.” Princess Celestia said, the door shutting silently behind her.

I quickly leaned up. “P-princess? What are you doing here?”

“Something felt wrong when I left…” She turned to look at me calmly. “Primrose told me what happened. Icy… no words can describe how sorry I am.”

“Sorry? SORRY? That’s all any pony can say! Guess what, I’m sorry too! She’s dead… and everypony says its not my fault… but I feel deep down that it is! Every time I try and think its not, the truth comes back.”

She was silent before her horn was coated in a golden aura. She walked up to me and gently pressed it against my chest. I could feel the pain, the concern, the agony that she had buried deep away, but also the happiness, the compassion for everypony. “All my years, I’ve never been able to grasp how the universe works. Things happen for a reason and not even I can understand all of them. My negligence led to your father being able to continue his aggressive ways, until he met your mother. My thoughts is she kept him in check, making sure he didn’t go overboard.” She faintly smiled. “I can’t imagine how happy they were when they found out they’d soon be having a foal. They got so excited and waited for months… then something happened and she passed on. Your father was devastated and he had to care for you. I don’t think anypony can understand how your father put all his anger on the world on you, but it happened. And because of that, you lived a life of fear and pain, always stepping cautiously and making sure not to anger him. But it didn’t matter, you still were hit and abused, just for existing.” A tear fell from her eye. “Then you make a friend and everything finally seems to be going right. The power of friendship and love can heal many wounds but the scars, they’ll still be there.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say little one, even though you’ve been through so much and taken so much responsibility for one so young, I think you’ve become a stronger pony because of it. You try and help any way you can because you know how it feels to be hurt… and lonely. Snowdrop is a very good example.”

“What do you mean?”

“I sensed she was quite alone and depressed before you came along. Having a friend can mend a broken heart, somepony to voice your fears to, your problems, your hopes and dreams. She had her parents yes, but they can’t be with her all the time. You gave her hope and mended a broken heart full of neglect from her peers. Now tell me if a monster would do that?”

“No…”

“Part of growing up is taking responsibility and how to cope with life’s ever changing curves. You’re a very intelligent colt Icy and I’m sure if you put your mind to it, you’ll see what everypony has been saying all along.” She said, the glow of her horn fading. “I’ll see you in the morning, I believe I may have a gift for you.” She said, walking to the door before she turned to look at me one more time. “Goodnight Icy.”

“Goodnight Princess.” I said, the door shutting once more. I rested against the pillows, my mind going a million miles an hour. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears, knowing it was going to be a long night.

“Icy? Are you awake?” Snowdrop’s voice drifted through the darkness.

I opened an eye, my body sore as I leaned forward. She was holding a book tightly, looking nervous. “Yeah… what’s that?”

“Well, we were going through your house… and we stumbled on your mom’s diary…”

My eyes opened. “But dad said he threw it away…”

“I don’t know, Mom wouldn’t open it and said I should give it to you.” She said, hoofing it over.

I looked at the cover, the stains still there from last time, the string barely keeping it close. I undid the knot and opened it, the book barely held together. I skimmed through, remember reading it the first time. A few pages sprinkled out and I put the book down, grabbing them with my good hoof.

“We also found, buried in a photo album, some of the missing pages.” She said, holding the picture.

It was a picture of Mom and Dad, smiling at the camera as Mom’s stomach was big and they stood in front of a foal crib. I took the picture, staring at it. I put it down and looked at the pages. “These… these are the missing pages…” I muttered.

May 16

He asked me out on a date! I’m so excited... but what if somepony notices us? That’d be so bad... And he won’t tell me where he’s taking us! Why are all stallions so thick headed?

May 29

We’re going on our third date, the last two must have been dreams... I just wish we didn’t have to run from his guard buddy... That was a fun chase though. But something feels weird about tonight and he’s being extra jittery tonight.

July 30

I’m pregnant! I can’t believe it... I went to the doctor’s, thinking I was just sick or something and he said that I was gonna be a mom! I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a colt... we’re both so excited, he’s even told a few of his friends and they’ve come over to congratulate us.

Nov. 20

Just had a checkup; the foal is nice and healthy, it’s gonna be a colt too! We can’t wait, already thinking of names. He wants Frizzy but I was thinking maybe Mystic... or Icy. Yeah, I like Icy. Maybe I can convince Frosty to that name.

Feb 19

Something’s wrong; I haven’t felt Icy move in a while. Went to the doctor and they’re getting ready to do a more thorough look and make sure he’s okay. I’m a bit nervous and scared. What if something happened to my baby before I even got to say hi to him? Oh Celestia, I hope nothing's wrong with him... Frosty is freaking out too. He doesn’t think I don’t see it but I do. I know him well enough by now.

I read them out aloud, my voice cracking. I paused, trying to calm down before I read the last one.

Feb 20

They’re going to do an emergency C-section, they say it’s the only way to save him. I’m hoping its not too late, come on Icy... hang in there, mamma is doing what she can.

It switches over to some pony’s writing, I can’t tell who's though.

Breezy... she didn’t make it. There was complications during the surgery and she... she didn’t get to see her foal with her own eyes. The one thing that she wanted most in the world was torn from her before she could even welcome it. If Icy didn’t need to come out now, I could’ve taken her to Canterlot, gotten her better doctors. If only Icy wasn’t such a pushy colt, she’d still be here... Well I hope he’s happy. His first decision cost his mother her life.

Me and Snowdrop were silent, neither sure what to say. I put the page down, my hoof covering my eyes. “So… I was right…” I croaked.

“Flip it.” Primrose said. She stood in the doorway with Storm. They both looked like they had been crying. “I didn’t mean to read it but when it fell out, I caught a glimpse at what it said.” She said.

I flipped it over, an entry undated.

Icy, if you’re reading this, then something must have happened. I’m not sure what but something told me to write this little note. If you are reading this, then welcome to Equestria! I know I won’t be the first to welcome you on this planet but I’m your mother, dang it! I should still be able to say it.

Second, I bet Frosty has been rather harsh with you. I know he probably hasn’t said it yet but he loves you. He’s just... awkward with showing emotions. Do you know how he told me he loved me? By slapping hoofcuffs on our hoofs and saying we’ll always be together! I mean, romantic but just slightly creepy.

Third is, I wish I could say this in pony but odds are, I can’t. So... I love you Icy. You will always be my little colt, no matter what happened or is going to happen. I’ll always be there if you need me, in your heart. I know we’ve never met but a piece of me will always be a part of you.

Know that whatever you decide to do with your life, I will always support you, behind every fall I’ll be there to catch you. Every time you get hurt I’ll be there to make sure you get better. I’ll see the day you become the very best you can be. And hey, maybe one day I’ll get to see my grandfoals. I bet you're all the rage with the mares, probably have to beat them off with a stick.

Well we’re off to the doctors to get checked out and make sure everything is alright with you. So if I don’t see you, just know I love you and you were the greatest thing to happen in my life. See you one way or another.

My hooves shook as I read the page. I couldn’t hold back the tears as I cried, the tears hitting the page. I finished, dropping the page as I sat there, my mind numb. She… she doesn’t blame me… she… she loves… me

Snowdrop wrapped her hooves around me as I buried my face into her chest, finally letting the last barrier dropped. I cried, my body shaking. I could feel more hooves encircle yeme as Storm and Primrose joined the hug. Time seemed to fly by as we just sat there, my tears long gone. Finally they broke the hug, Primrose and Storm trying to smile.

I looked at them, something clicking into place. “I… I guess you were right…” I said. It felt as if some heavy burden was taken off my chest, finally able to let go.

They smiled. “Feel any better?” Primrose asked.

I nodded. “Yeah… I feel… I feel a lot better.” I faintly smiled.

Snowdrop kissed my cheek, both of us blushing. “I’m so glad your better…”

“I… I can’t thank you enough for putting up with me. All of you...”

“Don’t worry about it kid, its what families do. We take care of each other.” Storm said.

They spent the rest of the day catching me up, apparently the doctors wanted to keep me a few days, make sure everything was okay. Celestia still said that she’d cover it, even with everypony trying to convince her otherwise. Dad was locked in a jail, not having said anything since that day. The doctors quickly fixed him before he was arrested. Storm was put under house arrest for a few days. Even though he was defending somepony, especially a colt, he still broke in and assaulted somepony. It was a very strange case and Celestia lowered the sentence. Ms. Healium was appointed my social worker and looked after my case, making sure everything was in order. Everything was mostly moved out of the apartment, waiting for me to decide if they should keep it or not.

It was a while before somepony knocked on the door. “Come in.” I said, and the door opened to reveal Celestia.

“Good afternoon Icy.” She said, smiling as we all bowed. She shook her head. “It’s alright, we don’t need to be so formal with each other.” She sat down, a pair of saddlebags floating behind her. “So how are you this morning?” She asked me.

“A lot better…” I smiled.

“That’s wonderful news, I’m happy to hear it.” She turned and looked at Snowdrop. “Did you make your decision yet little one?”

Everypony paused as I looked at her, confused. “What decision?”

Snowdrop blushed. “N-no… I haven’t really thought about it…”

Celestia nodded. “I understand, just make sure its what you want to do.”

I looked at Snowdrop. “What decision?”

Celestia tilted her head slightly. “You haven’t told him yet?”

“We thought it’d be better to wait for awhile and let things calm down.” Primrose said.

“Could somepony explain what’s going on?”

“After the Spring Sun Celebration, my sister offered to take Snowdrop as her apprentice. Once we found out about the… situation, we gave her some extra time to think.”

“Oh! That’s great!” I said, giving her the best hug I could.

She returned it after hesitating for a moment. “Y-yeah…”

“What’s wrong?”

“If I do… that means I’ll have to leave and stay at Canterlot.” She said, staring at the bed.

It felt like somepony had punched me in the chest. “Oh… right…” I stuttered.

“I was going to tell you… just after everything… I wanted to make sure it was the right time.”

I forced a smile. “It’s alright Snowdrop… I understand. It’s been a bit hectic.” I chuckled. “Do what you wanna do, I won’t stop you.”

She went silent for a moment. “Yeah, okay…”

Celestia cleared her throat. “I do apologize for springing this on you, I thought you told-”

“It’s alright Princess, I guess I’m glad he knows…” She muttered.

Celestia looked at her sadly before her horn once again was surrounded in a golden glow. “Well… the reason I stopped by, other than to check on you, was to offer you something that I’ve had for a few years.” She said, levitating a small wrapped object. It floated over to me and I grabbed it.

I looked at it, it wasn’t that heavy, maybe about as heavy as a bit. I looked up at her, confused and she motioned for me to unwrap it. I unwrapped it, squinting at the small medal in my hoof. “What is this?”

“Your father’s Medal of Wings. Even if he had his moments, he still was a guard. During one of his patrols, he helped break up a vicious fight and he broke several bones trying to save a mare in the middle. I thought you’d like to have it, considering its your fathers.”

I rubbed my hoof over the cold metal and smiled. “Thank you Princess… I do want it.”

“Then its yours.” She said, getting up. “Well, I should let you get back to your rest, have a good night.”

“You too Princess.” We said, the Princess leaving us alone.

We were silent, none of us sure what to say. “Well… its getting late and its been a long day.” Storm said, watching the sun wane.

“Can’t we stay for a bit longer?” Snowdrop asked.

Primrose and Storm shared a look. “Alright, but just for another hour. Icy should get as much rest as he can.”

“Yay!” Snowdrop said as we smiled at each other and briefly hugged each other. We talked about the Spring Sun Celebration and how scared she was, and how the others making fun of her. Primrose and Storm left to go get us something to eat as Snowdrop snuggled up to me.

“Hey Snowdrop?”

“Yeah?”

“I… I just wanted to say thank you… for dealing with me after everything.”

She smiled, her cheeks red as she nuzzled me. “No need to thank me Icy, I’m glad I could help. It’s the least I could do for my best friend.”

I sighed, resting against her. “So you’re going to train with Princess Luna right?”

“I… I don’t know yet.”

“Why wouldn’t you? This is too good of an opportunity to miss.”

“But then I’d leave everypony… and I can’t just leave you now…”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.” I paused. “If this is because your worried about me getting hurt, forget it. I’ll be fine-”

“It’s not just that…” She interrupted. “Icy… its not like I don’t want to go, its just…”

“Just what? Worried about Primrose and Storm?”

“Well yes but-”

“I think they’d want you to go, I mean… imagine what you’d learn!”

“I know and I can’t believe she offered it to somepony like me…”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

She seemed to wrestle with something before she turned to face me. She leaned forward, our snouts inches away as she kissed me. I stood stock still, my wings rustling under the bandages. She broke the kiss and her face was as red as mine was. “After this week, I learned how fast things could be taken away… and I want to spend as much time as I can… with you.”

“Snowdrop… I… I know what you mean and I want to spend all the time I can with you… but you can’t just ignore this because of me.”

“Yes I can!”

“No… no you can’t. I want you to be happy and we both know that you want to study with her … It wouldn’t be right to ignore her for me.”

“But its my decision and I don’t want to go!”

“Yes you do, you’re just scared. I’m scared too but you’ll see in the end that its the best thing to do.”

She looked at the sheets. “Are you mad at me?”

“No, why would I?”

“You’re trying to get rid of me… I… I must’ve did something!”

I put my hoof under her chin and made her look me in the eye. “Snowdrop, there’s nothing you can do that’d make me mad. I just want you to be happy… and in the future, you’ll be upset with not taking this.”

She was silent. “I… I don’t know, I need to think about it.”

“Okay.” I said, wrapping her into a hug.

Primrose and Storm came back with dinner and we ate in silence. Finally, it was time for them to leave, everypony giving me a hug. As Primrose hugged me, she kissed the top of my head. “Thank you Icy.” She whispered and before I could ask what she meant, they left.

I rubbed my eyes, my eye patch sitting on the table. I grabbed the medal and stared at it, trying to think what to do.

The next few days seem to fly by, too many ponies stopping to visit me. Cirrus, Mrs. Windith, Ms. Healium, Primrose, Storm, and Snowdrop. Ms. Healium talked to us about the legal mumbo jumbo and I dozed off for most of it.

Cirrus and Mrs. Windith came by and dropped off my homework and let the two of us talk while she talked to Primrose.

Finally, the doctor came in and gave me a final check. He scratched his chin. “Well, as long as you take it easy, you should be ready.”

I grinned, my good hoof in the air. “Yes!”

Primrose, Storm and him chuckled as they helped me out of bed, the sling making it awkward to walk. “Now that’ll take a little bit to get used to. And I want to see you in a few weeks alright? Just want to make sure everything is healing properly.”

Primrose nodded. “Alright, thank you again Doctor.”

“It was my pleasure.” He smiled as our little group left the hospital for home.

Author's Note:

Wow... haven't written a chapter that long in a good while. I hope it wasn't too boring! I wanted to get all that hospital-goodness out of the way in one go, so it isn't 3 or 4 chapters of him sitting in a bed. So if it feels a bit rushed, I'm sorry... that was my fault. And I hope it was worth the extra wait... and now, only 2 chapters left. :( I'm glad I'm actually finishing a story... but I'll miss this one. Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas!!

2,293 views

147

Previous Chapters Next