Evolvion

by Ramboom

Prolog

I never new my parents and I was always referred by the scientists and You or Her but the people who brand me food, entertainment and clothes called me Ezzy. I just had a little room bed, bathroom, desk ect. In a week I was going to get a drug that will speed up the evolution till our next stage. I was scared because of what might happen to me after they are done. Ok. I will run away from here. What else am I meant to do?

"Hey Ezzy" said Amy
Hi Amy, what do you have for me this time?"
"Paperwork, saying about the effects it it does not work, and what will happen to you after we are done." She starter tearing up at that part.
"Ok, Is the drug ready?"
"Yes they just need to get it into you."
"Will it happen sooner?"
"Yes"
"Oh, I don't want it to happen sooner" then I started crying.
Then we just stood there with me in tears. Amy was the one to break the silance, "I better go now, I have to help get them shuttle ready."
"Ok"

The papers said that I could die and that when there where done with me they would send me into space, I have to get out of their when their are doing the tests. I look at the ships plans. It was to put me in suspension and orbit the earth for 1000000000 years. I will be able to leave the subs pension for 2 hours every 100000 years. I can't stop thinking that I might die. After they do the test or in space where no one can here you scream.

Author's Note:

I am,dyslexic so I need an editor plz

Comments

[Ianthinarum]

Alright let's get goin'.

1) The chapter is too short. If you want to write a good story every chapter needs to be atleast a 1,000 words long.
2) If you'd want I could be your editor, I can take out grammar and spelling mistakes.
3) Use paragraphs, after every bit of text you need space example:

I never new my parents and I was always referred by the scientists and You or Her but the people who brand me food, entertainment and clothes called me Ezzy. I just had a little room bed, bathroom, desk ect. In a week I was going to get a drug that will speed up the evolution till our next stage. I was scared because of what might happen to me after they are done. Ok. I will run away from here. What else am I meant to do?

"Hey Ezzy" said Amy
Hi Amy, what do you have for me this time?"
"Paperwork, saying about the effects it it does not work, and what will happen to you after we are done." She starter tearing up at that part.
"Ok, Is the drug ready?"
"Yes they just need to get it into you."
"Will it happen sooner?"
"Yes"
"Oh, I don't want it to happen sooner" then I started crying.
Then we just stood there with me in tears. Amy was the one to break the silance, "I better go now, I have to help get them shuttle ready."
"Ok"

The papers said that I could die and that when there where done with me they would send me into space, I have to get out of their when their are doing the tests. I look at the ships plans. It was to put me in suspension and orbit the earth for 1000000000 years. I will be able to leave the subs pension for 2 hours every 100000 years. I can't stop thinking that I might die. After they do the test or in space where no one can here you scream.

Like that.

4) Make the story slower. You had the main character tell his story and the first plot twist in 1 paragraph
5) Amy began talking but the reader doesn't know who Amy is. Always introduce a new character as soon as this character talks or right before that (most of the times 1 or 2 phrases after the character's first sentence)
6) 1000000000 years. Always put dots after all 3 numbers like this (from right to left): 1.000.000.000

Now being dyslexic gives you a disadvantage, however the way you write stories is 1% talent (Conditions like dyslexia included) and 99% work. Send me this chapter in a private message and I will help you.