Spike

by Garino

2.5. Life and Death, Media Dimension Style

Cemetery, Midnight

Spike wasn't doing so well. Between learning the rules of this new world, worrying over his friends' safety (especially Rarity's) and trying to breathe after his...encounter...with Frankie, he really wished Larry would just go away. He also wouldn't mind something to eat. He got his wish a moment later, with a diamond in sight! Granted, it was small, but right now, anything would sate his appetite. Without waiting for Larry's approval or disapproval, he ate the diamond. Just as tasty as it was back in Ponyville! Plus, the gem seemed to have special abilities. The pain in Spike's stomach went away, his breathing back to normal. Did all the gems do that?

"Very nice. Feel better?" Larry seemed...bored. As if he expected this to happen.

"A lot," Spike replied. "Man, I gotta keep a supply of that on me."

"Well, here's a tip about those. Not all of them heal you."

"How do you know that?"

"Just keep going. I'll explain when we find another gem of yours."

Spike kept walking. It was kind of hard to actually keep a confident look when everything seemed to creep you out. The tombstones everywhere, dead trees, even the moon looked like it was screaming in horror. And poor Fluttershy, Spike finally realized, was actually stuck here until someone rescued her. His thoughts were immediately interrupted by his face slamming into a wall. As Spike shook off the dizziness, he heard Larry laughing his head off.

"Oh, man, I can't believe you actually did that!" the ghost chortled. "You've got to be THE most absent-minded dragon here!"

"Seeing as how I'm the ONLY dragon here, that doesn't really hold water," Spike retorted.

Larry lifted a finger for a comeback, only to realize the purple lizard was right. That meant Spike was the strongest, weakest, most focused, most absent-minded, most whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-him dragon in the Media Dimension. Spike gave a sly smile, to show his approval of finally putting the ghost in his place. Spike then whipped the wall in front of him, hoping it would collapse. Nothing happened. He jumped as high as he could. Couldn't even clear a quarter of the way up. Spike closed his eyes to think. If he couldn't go through the wall, or jump over it, how could he get out of here?

Spike must have been there for a while, because Larry finally said, "Are you just gonna stand there and twiddle or are you going to climb?"

Spike opened his eyes. "Climb? How am I going to climb a wall?"

"Maybe I'm wrong, but can you not use your claws to help you stick to surfaces?"

"Well, I never saw a reason to. I can try now, I guess."

Spike revealed very, VERY sharp claws and dug them into the wall. He then scaled the wall as if it were a ladder in a library. As he reached the top, Spike noticed two things: One, there was a camera floating in front of him. And two: there was a TV acting like a helicopter, circling around the camera. Spike looked to the specter for advice, but didn't say anything this time. Larry knew what Spike was asking, though.

"Camera's a milestone, helicopter TV is Heli. Another enemy, easily defeated. Both solutions are..." Larry didn't continue. He wanted Spike to know what the answer was.

"Tail again?" Spike guessed. Larry nodded. No surprise there, that's been the answer for just about everything except jumping. Spike smacked the camera with his tail. The camera's red light flashed twice, then blinded Spike and Larry with a bright flash. As soon as he could see again, Spike saw a picture coming out of the camera. It showed him exactly as he looked when the shot was taken. Now to take care of the helicopter TV. Heli, wasn't it called? Doesn't matter, thought Spike. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can rescue everypony. He hit the flying TV, and it crashed in front of Spike. But it didn't de-rez like Frankie. Instead, it had a 5 on it. Then there was a beep. The number went down to 4. For every beep, the number went down, until the number hit zero.

The last thing Spike remembered was the TV exploding and sending an antenna through his chest.

_____________________________________________________________________________
Unknown Place and Time

Spike groaned as he found his legs. That really hurt. He hoped he wouldn't feel that pain again. But where was he? It was dark, creepy, and no place for anything living. He heard a voice call out.

"Spike...Spike...your time has come..."

If Spike's face had any color, it was completely drained now. He shuddered as a light approached him. A small lantern, held aloft by a bony hand. He knew it: Larry got Spike killed. And now everypony else was headed for the same fate. The lantern on the hand changed into a scythe. Spike closed his eyes for the inevitable departure of his head from his body. He heard a second voice suddenly. Was this good...or bad?

"Piss off, George! This one's mine!" it yelled.

The scythe turned back into a lantern, and revealed two skeletons in black robes. One was tall, the other short. Both were lanky in looks. Then again, what would you expect a skeleton to look like, round and sluggish? The smaller one spoke up first. "Seriously, we have procedure to go through, George! Just sit down and watch how this works!"

Spike finally got enough courage to speak. "Am I...did I...?"

"Well, let's see: from what I saw, an antenna traveled through your body at 150 miles per hour, pierced your heart, and removed said heart from said body. I would say...YES, YOU ARE DEAD! Now, let me go through the f***ing procedure, dragon!" the small skeleton seemed to have little patience. Spike watched as a scroll appeared before the skeleton. "Um...do you have a name?" Spike asked.

"Just call me Gary," the skeleton said with little care. "Now, let's see...Spike...Spike...your surname?"

"Um...I can't remember. But I'm Twilight Sparkle's number one assistant, if that helps," Spike said.

"Ok, that should...wait. Twilight Sparkle? THE Twilight Sparkle? Celestia's number one student?!?"

"Yeah, same pony. ...should I have not said anything?"

"Ooh, that means you're from Equestria, which means that you're a damn 'special' case!" Gary took the scroll and tossed it into the abyss. "According to the powers that be, those from Equestria can't die unless they're in another dimension! Oh, wait..." Another scroll appeared, and Gary read it quickly, muttering to himself occasionally. Finally, he said, "Actually, it says here that you DID die in another dimension, therefore you're free game!" George's lantern once again changed into a scythe. Spike once again closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable. Again.

"Wait wait wait!" Gary suddenly yelled. Spike opened his eyes to find a purple gemstone in front of him. "That's...an amethyst," Spike muttered. But that's not what amazed him. What amazed him was that the gem was glowing brightly. So brightly, in fact, it illuminated the area to reveal that Spike was still in the Cemetery world of the Media Dimension. The gem than floated over to Gary, who grasped it in his hand. The skeleton looked at it a bit closely before he turned to the dragon.

"How about...a little deal?" he finally said.

"A...a deal? What kind of deal?"

"Simple. I'm going to acknowledge your presence of being a 'special' case." The gem Gary was holding split into three, which floated over to Spike. "From now on, an amethyst represents your life. When you die, present us with a piece, and we'll give you another chance. We'll even drop you off at the last milestone you passed."

"Milestone?" Spike asked. "You mean the camera?"

"Yes, those. But be warned: if you die and you don't have an amethyst to hand to us...well...George has been dying to use his scythe for once." George pulled out a grindstone and started sharpening his scythe. Spike gave an audible gulp. "Okay...can I go back to that...last milestone?" he managed.

"Very well, no need to keep you here, piss off," Gary said. He turned to leave, but raised one hand. "Oh, and Spike, if you see that Larry kid from Earth, tell him he's a dumbarse!" And with that, Spike lost consciousness.