Angelic visions (awaiting proofreading)
In a world with no giants
Ch.09 “Angelic Visions”
Angelo stuck his head out of the burrow. It wasn’t snowing anymore, but the leafs on the trees had yet to return to their normal luster. Much to his surprise, the tree’s didn’t seem to shake their dead leaves, even after the cold had stayed for almost three months now.
The pile of sticks beside his bed had once again grown, and he soon would have to think of another counting system, since he started to lose track of how many days had passed.
“Empress?” he vied for the white hares attention, “We need some more water.”
Empress nodded, and rolled one of the larger wood bowls towards him. The large bowls, with the handles on top were the newest addition to Angelo’s ever growing collection of household utensils. Carefully he threaded his spear through the handles of the bowl, and a second’s one just like it, and hoisted the whole contraption onto his shoulder.
It was the simplest form of a yoke, but even this simple solution had taken him several weeks to think of and to produce. Still, he was slowly moving forward, and if his suspicion about bark being held together by the layer of wood below it, would turn out to be true, he might even have some form of clothing soon.
Angelo enjoyed stretching his legs, and taking a walk through the forest. His supplies and the changes to the burrow had done him good service during the winter months, keeping the snow out and him reasonably warm, but that didn’t change the fact that he had spent almost a month cooped up in a hole in the earth. He spend a little longer walking around, checking if his markings were still in place and just enjoying the feeling of the fresh air and the sun on his skin.
After a while he and his lagomorph companion reached the watering hole, which had frozen over. Angelo sat down the bowls, and used his spear to break through the thin sheet of ice, before bowing down and taking a sip of the icy cold water.
He didn’t know what made him sit still, until the water surface was undisturbed again, but with some fascination he looked at the face that slowly revealed itself as the waves and ripples become smaller.
The most notable change was his hair and beard, which had grown grown into a wild mess. With a smirk he had to admit that the jumbled mane that was his hair, at least hid his receding hairline.
But it was not only his hair that had changed. His face had become sharper, and the middleaged masculine look that he had always been so proud of, had taken a turn for the predatory and haunted. The lines under his eyes had disappeared, but there was a nervous, and somewhat devious glint in them that made them seem all the more wild.
Did it make him look worse? No... maybe... he didn’t know. Did it make him look different? Definitely.
With some wonder he looked at the rest of his body. Angelo had never been a slacker and he had taken care to keep his body in shape, but his desk job had inevitably lead to some pounds of fat in places where they didn’t belong.
Now there was no fat anymore. With Empress help he had never feared starving, but food was far from plentiful, and consisted mostly of berries. The best way to describe his body right now would probably be wiry. Not overly muscular, but clearly molded by a life that consisted mostly of running through the forest and carrying heavy loads.
Was this person staring back at him really still “Angelo Gordon, Physicist?”
---
The crutch on which the two ponies had mounted their observation platform was far from comfortable, but combined with a camouflage net, it was nearly invisible from the ground, and that was far more important.
“Lyra?” Bonbon asked lowering her binoculars for a second.
“Yes, Bonbon?” Lyra replied, not taking her eyes of the small pond.
“I need to go to the little fillies room,” the candymaker said.
“You should have thought about that before we climbed up here.” Lyra huffed annoyedly.
“I did.... that was yesterday...” Bonbon deadpanned.
“Ugh fine, I’ll keep an eye on the pond, but I’ll blame you if you scare the creature away.” Lyra warned her marefriend.
Bonbin climbed down, leaving the mint coloured unicorn alone. Lyra stared after her for a while.
There was no doubt that she loved her, but she knew all too well, that Bonbon only indulged her interest because she loved her as well. It wasn’t often, but sometimes she felt guilty that she couldn’t hide her boredom as well, when Bonbon talked about her candy making business.
“I really don’t deserve her,” she sighed, turning her eyes back towards the pond.
All thoughts off Bonbon were forgotten instantly.
There right at the edge of the water stood the weirdest creature she had ever seen. Quite a feat in a world of enraged natural spirits, and three headed hellhounds.
At first she thought it was a minotaur, with it’s bipedal posture and the clawless manipulators at the end of it’s arm, but there were some very distinct differences: It’s skin was covered in a thin sheet of fur, but not like the smooth colorful hair that covered ponie bodies, but more akin to a pig’s bristles. The longer she thought about it, the more the comparison to pig skin seemed fitting.
Additionally where other creatures had hooves or paws, this being had long flat flipper like appendages, that ended in another set of wriggling manipulators.
It’s face was flat and brutish, as if someone had punched a diamond dog in the face one time too often and the overhanging brows made it seem somewhat primitive. An impression that was only furthered by the wild lion-like mane that framed it’s features. It’s ears stuck out from the side of it’s head, like the crest of a sea serpent.
The creature was hideous, yet Lyra was intrigued.
It was only then, that she noticed something lying next to the creature. There just outside of it’s reach, lay two large wooden containers, both fashioned with two simple handles at the top. And just besides the creature lay a clearly sharpened stick, a spear.
Lyra’s mind raced. This changed everything; this was no simple cataloging and examination of a foreign species, but a genuine first contact scenario with an intelligent race.
She shivered as she remembered the history lessons of Miss Straightrule, her old teacher. One of her favourite topics had been the first contact between pony kind and the sea ponies, and the ensuing war.
It had taken nearly a year, until the diplomats of both sides had figured out, that there had been a miscommunication.
Lyra swallowed heavily.
“Maybe I should ask for help, I’m sure there are people in Canterlot, who have been trained specially for this,” she thought to herself, as she watched the being fill up his wooden bowls, with water.
“And give up on the biggest scientific discovery of the century, are you mad?” the voice of her ambition asked her.
And it was right. Lyra could either spend another sixty years in Ponyville, commuting to her job on a daily basis, and categorizing yet another subspecies of mayflies. Or she could be known as the person who established contact with another race, the first one in nearly three hundred years.
She made note, of which way the creature was leaving, and began to compile a plan on how to make contact.
With a thud Bonbon let herself fall besides Lyra.
She turned towards the mint coloured unicorn and asked, “Did I miss something?”
---
Lyra looked around the small camp. A simple tent, purchased from leftover guard supplies, and a fireplace, cold because she didn’t want to risk making smoke. Hopefully the place she had picked was out of the way of the creatures normal roaming grounds.
She turned back to the journal before her:
“Fourth day of the second month of the one thousand-and second’s year of Celestia’s reign second year of the renewed Diarchy.
Today is the fourth day of my observations of the creature which I have dubbed ‘Lyracus Bipodus sapiens’ (have to think of a better name before submitting to neighbell-prize-commission).
The creature is male which is apparent because of his ...”
Lyra sat down the book, stared at what she had written and struck out the last sentence.
“The creature is male.
It seems to follow a very simple daily routine, which consist of gathering food and water in the mornings, followed by patrolling of his territory. Much to my relief, his diet seems to consist mostly of berries and nuts. Strictly carnivorous sapient species have been unheard of so far, but it’s still a load of my mind.
There are some things which worry me about his behaviour though. At times he spends hours on seemingly pointless tasks. For example yesterday, he spent two hours throwing stones into a water filled pot, only to retrieve them and throw other stones in. I can only guess that it’s some kind of religious ritual.
The day before yesterday my assistant noticed that Bipodus left regular marks in trees and stones, while he was patrolling the area. This doesn’t seem to make much sense since he seems very familiar with the terrain. Thus far I’ve theorized that he acts as a scout for the rest of his herd which has migrated during the cold months. If this should turn out correct, it might be advisable to make contact soon, to avoid having to deal with the whole herd.
Most interesting is, that he seems to have a sort of rapport with a wild hare. This could indicate that the creature has the same kind of magic which is present in earth ponies. If not, that would support the theory that Ponies and animals already coexisted before the changes that happened during the Discordian Era. Studying the creatures lifestyle could lead to more insights about how ponies lived in ancient times.
Much to my chagrin I haven’t been able to take a closer look at the creatures dwelling yet. The place that he returns to at night is surrounded by a simple fence, and sneaking in has proven to dangerous.
Tomorrow me and my assistant will take the first steps to establish contact.
Lyra closed the book.
“Are you still working? We’ve already spied on him the whole day,” Bonbon said, walking up besides Lyra.
“It’s called observation, not spying. Spying is what horny teenagers do, we are ponies of science!” Lyra replied defiantly.
“Sure, would the pony of science still come to bed already?” Bonbon deadpanned, before heading back into the tent. Lyra gave her journal a last look, before she followed her inside.
Stats
Page generated in 0.022 seconds
Total duration
918 users online
1,980,592 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow Lyras egotistical. She doesn't ask the obviously intelligent race what they call themselves and instead names them after herself. I'm not impressed by her actions...
2502167 ponies are pretty egotistical
I know it hasn't been proofread yet, but I did find some minor fiddely bits
but the leafs on the trees - should be "leaves"
the tree’s didn’t seem to shake - should be "trees"
he vied for the white hares attention - should be "hare's"
Empress nodded, and rolled one of the larger wood bowls towards him - shouldn't have a comma
The large bowls, with the handles on top - shouldn't have a comma
Carefully he threaded - should have a comma after carefully
wood below it, would turn out - shouldn't have a comma
Angelo enjoyed stretching his legs, and taking a walk through the forest - shouldn't have a comma
After a while he and his lagomorph companion - should have a comma after while
Angelo sat down the bowls, and - shouldn't have a comma
used his spear to break through the thin sheet of ice, before bowing - shouldn't have a comma
With a smirk he had - should have a comma after smirk
that was his hair, at least hid - shouldn't have a comma
But it was not only his hair that had changed. - This is a sentance fragment. Removing "but" or changing the period to a colon or em-dash would fix it.
His face had become sharper, and the middleaged masculine look that he had always been so proud of, had taken a turn for the predatory and haunted - shouldn't have any commas
before we climbed up here.” Lyra - the period should be a comma, since it's the end of the quote
creature away.” Lyra warned - same
knew all too well, that - shouldn't have a comma
All thoughts off Bonbon - should be "of"
There right at the edge of the water stood - should have commas after "There" and "water"
enraged natural spirits, and three - shouldn't have a comma
ponie bodies - should be pony
Additionally where other creatures - should be a comma after "Additionally"
long flat flipper like appendages, that - shouldn't have a comma
It’s face was - should be "Its"
in the face one time too often and - should have a comma before and
wild lion-like mane - should have a comma after "wild"
It’s ears stuck out - should be "Its"
There just outside of it’s reach - should have a comma after "There"
And just besides the creature lay - Needs commas after "And" and "creature." Additionally, starting a sentance with "And" is kind of iffy.
She made note, of - shouldn't have a comma
Most interesting is, that - shouldn't have a comma
Much to my chagrin I haven’t - should have a comma after "chagrin"
Tomorrow me and my assistant - should have a comma after "Tomorrow"
Spying is what horny teenagers do, we are ponies of science! - Comma should be a semicolon
Sure, would the pony of science - Comma should be a period
I'm really enjoying the story so far and looking forward to more.
... my assistant and I.
2516158 I blame it one the lack of sex. :P
2502167
I am impressed. It takes a pair of brass ones to step up to a new alien race, metaphorically slap them in the face and then tell them what their new name is. Or it could just be she is clueless and means well. She is Lyra after all.
Also Lyra is best pony. Let the down vote begin!
2464735
Oops didn't see the reply till now. Sorry about that.
He would have a pretty limited range of motion and a lack of strength in that arm since it is out of it's socket. I just though an injury like that would still require a sling until it was fixed since it isn't really something that can heal until the parts are back in place. I don't think he would have been able to fight off the wolves as easy or make some of his make shift camp either. He would be able to put the socket roughly back in place (extremely painful by the way) using his body weight and a crook in a tree or something.
The story sounds great and I really like it.
It just seems to be a bit of an inconsistency to me. Not a glaring problem by the way it just kind of gnawed at me a bit.
2572213 In the wolf scene I actually make a reference to it, didn't think I'd need to mention it later on. Ahh welp, live and learn.
What is this doing in "The Good Hie List"? The rules say each story has to has at least 100 upvotes to get into it
2647018 Got a special exception due too recommendations. Also it's just a wee bit rude to write a comment just for this, you could have written me a PM. -_-
I started reading this today, and now I have run out of chapters to read... A problem for me since I was enjoying it so much and things just started developing. It actually reminded me of probably my favorite H.I.e. story: The God Particle by moonriseunicorn in the beginning, but things went graciously better the the human in that one. The whole surviving in the wilderness thing really has changed who Angelo is as a person, and I can say that I approve of it. I wholeheartedly have enjoyed this story so far and hope to see more goodness from you soon!
-Criket
P.S. flutterfan93 this story was on the hie list because one of the more active admins came across it an enjoyed it as well as saying that it met every criteria to be put on the list. There is a whole forum post about it in their group, that's how I ended up here. I am not sure weather your comment was meant to come across as negative, but it did. Please make sure you have all the information before posting. It makes all of our lives easier. Thank you.
This story caught my eye when I was randomly looking for something to read. Namely, it was the title to chapter one that made me decide to give it a chance. And by Sir Isaac Newtons pubes, have you done a wonderful, MARVELOUS, contribution to my reading list. I salute you good sir and eagerly await new chapters.
Also, I do believe you deserved yourself a mustache
2658605 Saddly I have to decline the mustache. The world couldn't handle so much pure manliness in one place.
Thanks for reading so far, I'll hope that future chapters will live up to your expectations. ^^
2647018 to go into submissions. There is a loop hole
Run out of chapters
NOOOOOooooo
want more chapters
I shall be interested when he meets lyra will he see her as food or think he's gone crazy again CAUSE THERES A TALKING HORSE IN FRONT OF HIM oh well
2670592 When a naked men and a pony meet there can be only one logical conclusion....
Jokes aside, I'm glad that you enjoy my story. Will try to get an new update out soon. ^^
2670601
Shhhh dont tell me soon my soon is horibly short
2670601
When is soon?
2729973 "Soon" is a floating state whichs duration is affected by the "uncertaincy"-principle.
The more information I give about it, the more uncertain it becomes if those informations are true.
For your convenience I've decided only to tell you the absolute and certain truth about it. ^^
What the fuck does "exestialistic" mean?
2787918 Oops, that's supposed to read "Existentialistic".
The word refers to anything relating to existance but generally is used to describe a school of philosophy that thinks about the nature of existance. (So if you suddenly find yourself thinking, "What's the point? We are all just flecks of dust in an uncaring Universe and nothing we will ever do will amount to anything in the grand scheme of everything." you are experiencing existentialistic terror.)
2789500
... I feel stupid now. I knew what existentialism was, but I spent a while searching for "exestialistic" trying to figure out what that was without linking the two.
Sorry.
2790568 No worries, I'm well known for my brain derps as well. :P
Hasnt updated...Must know what Lyra does....WHY YOU NO GIVE NIW CHAPER?
2823085 I specifically delayed all my writing to make you suffer. :P
Joke's aside, I've got about half of the next chapter done, so keep a close look, the story might just update before season 4. xD
2823781
*crys* I'm such a horrible pony
But I'm a great human bwahahaahahahahaha
wow lyra... swing and a miss.
Ambitious, biologist lyra is my new favorite lyra.