My Little Yoshi

by Blazing_Mane01

CMC reaction to Chapter 1

Once she saw the number 2 on the next page, Twilight Sparkle temporarily shut the book (carefully confirming her magic kept her place for her) for a short moment of reflection. She then looked to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but their initial expressions caught her off guard; their faces were practically vacant!

Getting disgusted, Twilight suddenly barked. "Hey! Don't look at me like that!"

In response, Apple Bloom took her gaze off of the purple princess. "Wh-why'd ya shut the book, Twiligh?" She looked as if she were about to start crying.

Twilight quickly let out a groan. "I only did that because I thought you would have questions or thoughts! I didn't lose my place, I swear!"

"Well," Apple Bloom continued, "ya never seem to have answers, so Ah figured to jus' stop askin' questions."

Twilight's jaw fell a bit on that one, but she tried her best to recover: "W-wait a second! J-just because I don't answer ALL your questions, d-doesn't mean I can't try!"

Scootaloo raised a hoof in Apple Bloom's support. "She DOES have a point, Twilight..."

"Ugh! All right! I'll stop pausing!" Twilight proclaimed, raising her head and forehooves into the air.

Everypony fell silent as Twilight brought herself down from her earlier outburst. The Alicorn was pretty upset that they would no longer share their points, but was ultimately satisfied that they would make some headway into the story. She was opening to the second chapter...

"Umm... Do you girls mind waiting for a moment before I continue? I, uh, gotta... take care of something!"

Without waiting for an answer, Twilight darted back from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, headed for a door on the far side of the room. In her haste, however, she lost the focus of her magic on the book, falling out of her grip in front of the three fillies. At the moment, the CMCs only looked at it as if Twilight had dropped it on accident - which she sort of did - and left it alone, but with Scootaloo seeing as how the book landed face-up and open on chapter two...

But Sweetie Belle wasn't concerned about that. "What could Twilight possibly need to take care of... in the bathroom?"

The other two fillies facehoofed at the same time, making the other wonder if she just heard its echo in the room.

"What!?" Sweetie had such an innocent mind at the moment. "It's not like she has~"

"No, never mind, Sweetie!" Scootaloo cut her off before she said something... disgusting. She then gestured over to the open book. "How about we forget about what she's doing and continue the story?"

"Without her? But wouldn't she get mad?"

Scootaloo flicked away the question. "Mad? Please. I'm sure Twilight's read the same story, like, a hundred times."

"Well... I don't know, Scootaloo..."

The young pegasus winked to her unicorn friend once, before stepping over to collect the green book. "C'mon, I'm sure it'll be fine..."

Comments

[Still Breeze]

Looks alright so far

I like how the story keeps flitting back from the Yoshi story and the present day; I find it interesting in many contexts

All I can say is that the line between thought and speech could be a little more obvious, because sometimes when I was reading, I didn't realise it went into internal thought or sometimes a private monologue, and the unexpected change in tense was a little confusing. So maybe you could put every thought in speech marks as well as itallics.

Other than that, it looks pretty decent

P.S: I didn't realise I had to enter the password for every chapter: it caught me off-guard every time.

[Blazing_Mane01]

2395238 Pretty much. It did seem more of an MLP crossover into Yoshi's Island.