Twilight has finally come of age, into a new world of experiences, love and some unexpected feelings. She discovers her inner self and new ways of seeing the world, and she may not have control of it...
That could be the explanation for this, I read about that mares go through a period of attraction so stallions know I am* ready to mate
*they are
Also, the first part, where Twilight is talking to herself needs to have the dialogue split off from the paragraphs. Don't just stick on quotes at the end, move the speech to its own paragraph if you have to.
Hello, if you do enjoy Innocence Lost, always good to watch, like, fav and comment to show support. This has been an undertaking larger than other works I've done so its always good to see support.
No clop?
*they are
Also, the first part, where Twilight is talking to herself needs to have the dialogue split off from the paragraphs. Don't just stick on quotes at the end, move the speech to its own paragraph if you have to.
See? Much better.
Hello, if you do enjoy Innocence Lost, always good to watch, like, fav and comment to show support. This has been an undertaking larger than other works I've done so its always good to see support.
-Twhylight
So few comments? Wow. Okay.
I enjoyed it so far and am excited to see where this is going. Good work so far :D