“Divine alicorns such as myself can not get impregnated by normal ponies without magic from said divine alicorns.” Didn't she give Twilight the genital with HER magic?

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Different kind of magic my dear, different kind of magic, it will all be explained in the book.

It would be awesome to create a tumbler around these two....Miss Sparkle and her Submissive Student Celestia, anyways tell me what you think.

Yes please! I really enjoy submissive Celestia/dominant Twilight... I don't see that too often.

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Obvious point may be obvious but Tia is totally going to ask Cadence to help her and Twi have a foal. (unless you decide to make Twi an alicorn in her own right)

Also, Cadence should totally help Twi dominate Tia... could be fun

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I found some potential errors in the text... do you want me to post em here or send 'em along in a PM?

Some spelling mistakes, but pretty good otherwise

Finally, next installment. Read and BAM! Cadence..... Cadence..... This is exactly what it looks like. I thought that was hilarious.
Few grammar mistakes but not enough to go ARGH!!!!

Clop-free chapters!? Are you insane?

Nice Chapter! To bad, nothing "real" could happend between our two Lovebirds! But it is ok.
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Hmmmm, but maybe it could work the other way around. I could think, if Celestia knew now Twilights litte "Fun" Spell......she could be.......well.....hehe

Awww. That ending.

Well that was a surprise, all the twists and turns and not one of you raised an eyebrow to the fact that they slept with the two of the woderbolts, for shame. Anyway onto the comments.

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Yeah, I thought it was a cute ending myself, though not originally intended the way it came out.

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They already tried, but Celestia discovered she prefers being on the receiving end of said fun spell, not that Twilight is complaining any.

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Yep, I always figured Celestia would just be the kind of girl to roll with the punches and tell it like it is, probably much to Cadance's regret XD. And of course I'm insane, what sane mind could come up with this I ask you?

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.....Thank....you....?

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Glad you liked it

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First: I don't know if their is ever going to be a Tumbler, I am a pretty horrible artist myself, the only thing I am really good at is writing stories.

Second: the would be a nope, Celestia already knows how to do that, but more of that will be explained when Twi gets to read that book she mentioned. Also if you remember from the description this is a side story to one of my larger stories, and in that one they are not only together but Twi gets her pregnant near the end of it.

Third: please do, I hate it when I miss mistakes.

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Kinda wanting more clop chapters here. I love DomTwi with any SubPrincess
And yea, why raise the point about the Wonderbolts? Spitfire and Soarin' are usually portrayed as sex-addicts, etc. Seemed logical to me.

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Well you don't have to worry, I think the most you will have to suffer through is Twilight reading a book and then a brief cuddle session between the two love birds in the next chapter, then more sex will be had.

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Expect a PM sometime today with the stuff I found.

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As for the other story, yes I remember... but I kinda quit reading it 'cuz it got too gore-y so I didn't realize that she got Celestia knocked up anyway Good to know though.

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yeah, sorry about that but that scene had been planned out since the stories very beginnings, and their was no way I could pretty it up without ruining the impact the scene was meant to have.

Noticed a few some things that could be fixed.

Wait she thought, burning sensation?

I would fix this with italics.

Wait, she thought, burning sensation

when she stopped, here mind halting

her, not here.

worse then a normal ponies, from every thing she could

There are three things here. worse than a normal pony's, from everything

Twilight doing sex related activities in public,

I think there is descriptor word missing here. Twilight <missing word> doing...

shoved in her crouch during

crotch, not crouch.

the dildo she had while

she had inside her while

“Twilight” called a voice from downstairs, causing her to jump in surprise and quickly return to what she was doing. “Yes Spike,” she asked, using her magic to remove the evidence of her arousal.

These are two different speakers, and should be in separate paragraphs.

“Twilight” called a voice from downstairs, causing her to jump in surprise and quickly return to what she was doing.

“Yes Spike,” she asked, using her magic to remove the evidence of her arousal.

some gems as a reward k.”

This little 'k' seems out of character, changing it to 'okay?' fits the scene better.

“When your older Spike,

you're, not your. There is no item possession here, it's 'when you are older Spike,'

Celestia's Letter

Letters are usually italicized, when referenced in text.

quick note to spike and

Spike is a dragon, and his name needs to be capitalized.

in heat my beautiful

It reads like there should be a comma after 'heat' there.

if your in heat…wont…wont

This isn't possession either, and the 'won't's need their apostrophes. If you're in heat... won't... won't

Twilight’s impressive stallion hood.

Stallionhood is generally one word. Like manhood. It's just a term replacement.

“re…really, that

Capitalize that first 'r', as it's the first letter of a sentence. 'Re... really, that'

massaging her students lower

THIS is possession here. her student's lower

help relieve you precious student

Possession here. 'help relieve your precious student'

lost in each others bodies as the sent of heat

More possession, one typo. 'lost in each other's bodies as the scent of heat'

except the felling of her

Typo. 'except the feeling of her'

up to twilight and back

Twilight is a pony and her name needs to be capitalized.

fore hooves in front of their crouches

One typo, and forehooves is generally considered one word, like forearms. 'forehooves in front of their crotches'

the firkin trouble

I think this is a typo, I think you mean 'fricking' or 'fucking'. I'm not exactly sure.

and your were the

No possession here. 'and you were the'

it to accident when

This doesn't read quite right. I think it reads better as, 'it to accidents when' or 'it to an accident when'

birds and the bee’s discussion when

Typo here, no possession. 'birds and the bees discussion when'

Me and Tia have

This is poor grammar. It should be 'Tia and I have' When two characters are being named, and one of them is the speaker, it's correct english to use the other character's name first, then adding 'and I' instead of 'Me and <X>'

“we…well you see-”

First letter of a sentence needs to be capitalized.

“me and Celestia were

I explained this one a bit ago. 'Celestia and I were'

on Twilights brother

Possession here. 'on Twilight's brother'

look at him, it the same

Possession here. 'look at him, it’s the same' Its and it's has always been odd. Usually, an apostrophe signals possession, but in the its/it's case, it does not. Its means possession, while it's means 'it is/was'. So this one flies in the face of all other possession arguments here.

you poses the shame courage

Two typos here. 'you possess the same courage'

up a draw and pulling

Typo. 'up a drawer and pulling'

She felt Cadance shack as she sobbed, feeling rears fall

Two typos. 'She felt Cadance shake as she sobbed, feeling tears fall'

a night in shining armor

Just a final typo. 'a knight in shining armor' Also, that whole sentence is cliché as hell too, but it's alright.

All in all, most of these are just little minor typos. Nothing that completely breaks my immersion. Now, I've not done any comma correction, but I know there are quite a few to be done, and to add them would probably triple this comment in size.

Now that that's over with...

None of the above was done out of hate, anger, or the like. I'd love to see you get better as a writer, Fuedra, and I'm hoping this comment helps!

I like both this story, and Truth Behind Harmony as well. I'm glad to see them both continued, and am eagerly awaiting more. If you need me to go over the rest of this story, and Truth Behind Harmony as well, I can! It'll have to wait until at least monday before I can get to it, though.

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's still good.

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Thanks for the corrections, and I am glad you like both stories. as for future corrections, take your time.

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Well, ok. can you give a hint, what happend next maybe?

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Well Celestia did mention a book, and you know how Twilight is with books.

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Hmmm, what kind of Book could it be.....
Include it some naughty and kinky spells maybe?

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"An In Depth Study on Divine Alicorn Mating and Reproduction, by Heart Song"

That kind of book.

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I have said nothing!

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Well thank you for the complement, and don't worry, its only going to get stranger from here.

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The fourth chapter is still in the works, Its going to take a while to finish.

Speaking of which I might as well get back to work on it now, I'm not busy.

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Well I'm juggling this story, Her Royal Suitors, and at least 3 other stories in the background, so I have to pick and choose a lot of times.

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I luckily have a lot of time on my hands, so I got a lot of time for stuff like this.

Way to one-eighty Cadance there, Celestia.

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Hey, she has got to get her off the topic of Twilight was rutting me silly somehow.

2464447 Your story was alright, if not a little forced, but I'm alright with that. (Which I rarely am) Good story, now I must go back to scraping by on bad stories and ones of lesser interest.

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oh don't worry, the next chapter will be here before you know it.

2464468 I'll hold you to that. It's good to finally see a fic where Celestia is a virgin, for once. I always thought it would be that way.

2464601 Me two, plus it just opens up so many possibilities for how the relationship can evolve

You need to make an alternate version of this story starting from here. Instead of having Cadance ask why they are doing it, have her run away crying and later say that she loves Twilight or Celestia. It would create so many dilemnas....

They had discovered through this that Celestia had strong submissive tendencies when it came to sex, so submissive that Twilight had her groveling on the floor at her hooves at one point.

Aaaand you lost me right here. I utterly despise this trope, it's been done to death and frankly never done well. It feels entirely out of character for Celestia (and for Twilight). I can overlook mediocre spelling, I can overlook the plot just being a paper-thin excuse for clop, I can even overlook some slight out-of-character behaviour, but this dumb Celestia-likes-to-be-ruled-in-the-bedroom trope is where I draw the line. Consider your story downvoted, good sir. Have a nice day.

Are you going to go in to detail on cadances mother later on?

Yes my earlier comment has come to fruition. (Kind-of)