PonyHammer 40,000: Magic of War | Dark March

by Dragon Heart

You'll meet My Bolter First

In the jungles of the Grime Coast, Hogs were waddling around, making ready for the battle at their doorstep. The legendary Warboss Borbutz himself was standing before a captured Scout Pony Marine, while Hogs banged their axeheads on the ground around him.

"Ya think ya can sneak about wiffout me boarz seein ya?" Bobutz said before he grabbed the scout. "Ya think ya can come for me 'ead?!" He then flipped him upside-down, and pounded him on the ground four times, and threw him like a rag doll.

"Hogs iz neva beaten in battle." A Hog boasted.

"Shut it, ya grot!" Borbutz growled. "Da rest of 'em are comin' and we'z got ta be ready. Tell da boarz dere'z some killin' ta do!" He looked at a large, crudely built post with a big sign that sported the word "SNAARL!" upon it. "I made dem Big Bannaz ta remind da clanz dat dey better keep dere boarz in line. I don't want no butt'eads lookin' ta fight me when da enemy's right 'ere."

A Mega Armored Nob shot at a suspicious Hog near a banner. "Borbutz is da Warboss, got it ya mud-munchas? Dis 'ere voicy-box lets 'im talk to ya, so open yer ears!"

Borbutz turned on the intercom device and bellowed his mighty voice into it. "Lissen up ya grots n' butts! D'eyz comin' fer us like we some kind o' ponie gitz. But we ain't. We'z da Hogs and dis here is gonna be one great fight! So gets yer choppas and yer shootas ready boarz, cuz dere's some killin' ta do! Headcrushaz, you ready?"

"SNAARL!" Hogs shouted as they pumped their hooves.

"Hoofstompaz, yer Mammoths n' such ready?"

"SNAARL!" Hogs shouted as they waddled past a Mammoth that pounded its feet on the ground

"Burnaboarz, you wanna fight?"

"SNAARL!" Shouted Hogs wielding flamethrower and smoking cigars.

"Rokkitrangaz, you in it or what?"

"SNAARL!" Shouted Hogs that took off into the air with crudely made jetpacks.

"An what about youz Kwikmeks? You gonna lets dese other runtz get all da good fightin' done?"

"SNAARL!" Shouted Hogs driving hoof-made and stolen vehicles.

"Dat's right!" said Borbutz, "We gonna crush 'em all. Dis here is a right and proper SNAARL!"

"SNAARL!" And the Hogs took off for battle.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The Pony Marines' Headquarters was set up, and the Warboss was calling them out from afar. "Oi poniez," Borbutz yelled, "you're in Hog lands now. 'Ope you ain't too attached to yer 'eads."

Goliath huffed through his nostrils. "Yell and gnash all you want, animal. The Blood Phoenixes are here to finish you off."

"A ponie wit some spirit!" Borbutz exclaimed. "Yer 'eads gonna be mine."

"You'll meet my bolter first, filth." Nule spat.

Borbutz laughed at the Captain's proclamation. "I like da way ya tink, ponie. Dis iz gonna be fun!"

Comments

[Dragon Heart]

2361207 They win the Kronus Campaign in Dark Crusade, so pretty much.