Alright, I'll make this as short as possible. Don't click back; This is extremely important.
You all probably hate me for posting this as a chapter, but I seem to have no other way of getting through to you guys. Here's my problem:
I've hit a snag in this story. It's right after Twilight dies, and I need ideas on what to do now. Specifically, sad scenes (like the funeral) and what to do afterwards. Give me something you guys want for the funeral, anything. Comment or PM a suggestion. I want to give you guys what y'all want, but in order for that to happen, I need communication.
That leads to my second point. The last time I did something like this, someone said, "Just do it in a blog so then we don't get fooled into thinking it's another chapter." I can't do that, and here's why. No one seems to read my blogs when I post them. I've posted several blogs, asking for OC's to add into the story, because I needed some characters to fill some spots. Example: I need at least four OC's to play head Templar guys along side the Maestro. I can't do that unless you give me something. I would create completely new characters, but I for one am afraid that I've done that too much. That, and I again want to give you guys what you want.
So, here are spots that can be filled:
A) Four Templar Leaders
B) Three to five Assassins
C) A Weapons Designer (Kind of like what da Vinci was in AC 2)
D) A mare to be Vando's new love interest
That's what I need at this point. I hope that you guys will give me that much.
Till next time,
~Q. Words
As much as I would hate to see her innocence go like Octavia's did, I think that Pinkie would be a reasonable weapons designer, considering all of the other contraptions she's built in the past. I've also been wondering if you plan on possibly having a character like Daniel Cross from the AC series, though that may be a bit much to be adding to the storyline at once. Also, TBH, I really wasn't happy when Twilight died in the most recent chapter, but I guess it had to be done, and that could be a good drive for some other ponies that knew her to join the Assassins.
I have loads of other ideas, but none of them seem to fit quite right with the story as it's gone so far. I hope you manage to find inspiration for the other characters soon.
I don't have any OC's really, so I can't really help there. I have one OC that will be in a story I am working on, and so far I only have his name. The only other OC is my first attempt at making an OC. He has no back story whatsoever. he doesn't even have a name. I just use him as my avatar for the most part.
As for the story, I can't really help you there. At least I don't think I can.
The thing with adding OCs to stories, is you have to change and modify them to fit into a story, but I have one or two if you are interested.
2989087 Well, I'll tell you this. Her death has its reasons. What those reasons are, I can't really tell you. I'm sorry if it upset you a little.
On the flip side of the things, I'm not sure if I'm going to add anymore of the Mane Six to the Assassins. You raise a good point with Pinkie though. Perhaps a wrist party cannon?
2989205 Again, not too sure about using more Mane Six as Assassins.
However, about your OCs....I'd like you to PM me an image and description of one, as well what faction you want them to belong to. (Ex: Assassin, Templar, Ally, other Foe)
2990102 Well, I try to keep the changes to a minimum. I mean, the only change I made to Glock is that now he's a villain.
Well, I have an assassin in mind, but he'll have a considerably long description.
Simply put, ever hear of the Me 163 Komet? Or it's Japanese copy, the Shu-Sui?
I have more for him, but like I said, it would be pretty long.
On a different note, It feels like things are just a wee bit rushed. It didn't feel like the few weeks Jackle had claimed.
There's also this little verbal tick of "Aye" popping up in everyone's vocabulary. But that's pretty minor.
Well, I think it would be an interesting twist if at least one of the Mane Six turned out to actually be a Templar.
In relation to Twilight's death I think both a civilian riot and a government investigation started by Celestia would fit in nicely.
2993740 Well, believe me, I realize that as well. I'm going to try and slow things down from here on out.
3002115
Alright, just letting you know.
Unfortunately, I got Kerbal Space program today, and I'm having a tough time keeping focus on my OC's.
yea I agree with 2989087 pinkie pie would make a good Weapons designer, as for OC's you can use mine if you would like his name is Nightshade. he is a Pegasus stallion who is a former guard, his special talent is mining gems by bucking rocks using his flying abilities to increase the force of the rock buck many times over.
also as you are probably already going to have celestia preside over the funeral where she may say that twilight was like a daughter to her, might I suggest a scene afterwards where Luna tells her everything from the assassins to the Templars, the apples, what they can do... hey here is an idea what if celestia was the one who started he Templars and she is told that twilight was killed by the assassins and she makes this know to Luna
I would gladly allow you to add me to your story, but it's been hard to follow this story :/
Arcane Scratch-Creval
An Entertainer for PonyTube
Wears Red-Tinted Glasses to hide Purple eyes .3. (Miscolored, if it means anything)
FUCKING LOVES DUBSTEP
I don't care what you add me into being.
If you add me....
Great Job, anyway, Quillin, my respects.
3040661 I assumed you've finished by now. What did you think?
In the funeral itself, I'd kind of like to see someone try to take their own life out of grief, but get stopped, just as an add on to the scene, one of the Mane 6 has to be drunk with grief, etc...
After the funeral I'd like to see another member of the Mane 6 join the Assassins
A mare to be Vando's new love interest
name ideas
>Contralto (meaning Lowest female singing voice, could be a nice match)
>Elegy (An instrumental lament with praise for the dead, perhaps she and Vando grieve similar things and it leads to love)
>Energico (A symbol in sheet music a direction to play energetically, I could see Vando ending up with someone energetic)
>Grazioso (Word to indicate the movement or entire composition is to be played gracefully. Grace is always nice)
> maybe a simpler name even, like Melody or Concerto
A Weapons Designer
I forget if you used her already, but I envision Photo Finish to have a whole weapons and tech line, so to say,
Templar Leader Ideas
>Timeless Wonder - Old Templar leader, enthralled with history with some dark connection to Octavia's Family
>Stagz - a Changeling cut off from his queen and hive, his methods are unforgiving and brutal and is known to torture his subordinates for even small failures
>Gladius - used to fight for money, but became enthralled with the Templar order at some point, he commands extreme loyalty and his honor guard are specifically trained from foalhood (think of the unsullied from game of thrones, kind of)
>Twisted Storm - a Unicorn from a high up family gifted with Weather Magic, specifically lighting and lots of it
>Uptight Snootle - an uptight prick with a funny name who is a major financier of the Templars (think Juan Borgia)
Three to five Assassins
>One of the Mane 6
>Fleet Foot of the Wonderbolts (forgot whether or not she was in this story, sorry)
>A changeling character
>An Assassin with Pet Timber Wolves, keeper of the stables, an older Earth Pony with a bad attitude to everyone else
>as weird as it sounds Scootaloo
need any more Ideas, I love shelling them out so do tell me what you think and if you need anything more or more details, etc...
3098645 Hmmmm....I like the ideas you have here, especially with the Templars. Now, the whole thing with Vando's love interests is that I want a mare that is less "stereotypical" per say than the average mare. Perhaps one of Applejack's ancestors.....? I don't know. Definitely an earth pony though. Mind you, remember that he's pretty much that weird guy living in a hut in the woods. I'm thinking an earth pony from Ponyville, with a tomboy-ish nature. Can you crank out a character like that?
Now, as for weapon designer, I have considered for the da Vinci spot. However, I am leaning towards actually using either my OC Quillin or my friend Melvin's OC Melvin for that spot. I don't know really. A lot of people want Photo Finish, but I just don't know how to write her.
As I said earlier, I love your Templar ideas. I might just use those.
Now, new Assassins. I don't want anymore Mane 6 becoming Assassins, as RD's goal in becoming one is so that her friends won't have to. However, I'm not saying that they won't have any further involvement. As for Fleet Foot, I might consider using her. She's an open book (so to speak) and will provide flexibility. Earth pony jerk guy? Maybe. Perhaps a loner high level Assassin who prefers working alone/with his Timber Wolves.
........Scootaloo? You mean this little angel? --->
Maybe.
3120205
crank out a character? my speciality, and thank you for your compliments
Okay, Earthpony character love intrests, how do you intend for him to meet them
I was kind of thinking he passes out from extreme exhaustion and gets taken into their farmhouse.house and they nurse him back to health
Related to Apple Jack
Appletini - One of the first Ponyville residents and big sister to Granny Smith, has a slight drinking problem, but despite her jovial nature cares greatly about family and isn't afraid to speak her mind
(Cutie Mark a Appletini)
Apple Lyre - a member of the apple family that despite her name is extremely outgoing and likes to get into fights, as a kid she had a habit of bringing home wild animals to keep as pets, including a baby manticore and even a timber wolf pup, as a young adult she is a bit of a fighter and can't stand her Dad's attempts to get her to settle down with one of the Rich Family's earliest bachelors (remember the connection between the Apples and the Riches, though now I think the rich family should either have or have had ties to the templars), extremely opinionated and sometimes lets her hoofs do the talking, but at the same time caring and sympathetic
(Cutiemark a Lyre on a big green apple)
(Super Special Talent(s) - loyalty to family despite being different)
Photo Finish
A character like photo finish is hard to write one must admit, best thing to do is to watch her episode and notice how she treats everyone around her and how she treats fashion and transfer that to weapons of war
Other weapons masters ideas
>Trixie - not everyone can get 150 tons of fireworks into a travelling caravan, while she isn't as good at magic it wouldn't surprise me if she had a talent in engineering (forgot if you have used her before)
>Derpy - Despite her eyes, she has an eye for technology (forgot if you have used her, sorry)
Scootaloo
Yes, this little angel
Angel Bunny
what if Angel is actually an Assassin with the mission of protecting Fluttershy?
feedback, and I'm here to help at any time
3123166 I like the idea of "Apple Lyre", but the name doesn't really appeal to me. I think I'll use the character, just under a different name.
3124411
I will admit, I'm not the biggest fan of the name either...sooo, was it okay then
3125308 The character? Of course! Precisely what I wanted.
3125400
Okay, if you ever need anything just ask, I love your work so I'm always willing to lend a helping hand...or perhaps in this case it's hoof
3125481 HA! So I'm no the only one who does the hand-to-hoof thing.
Thanks for liking my stuff enough to help!
3126076
you are very welcome
3244666 Couple of things. I did include them on there...the weapon that killed Twilight was a hoof crossbow. I will directly say it most likely soon. Be patient.
3123166>>3120205
I also love the idea for the Templars. If I may, can I suggest something for them? From what I played in AC3, the Templars in that game were more 'human' than the others, since their last words before their deaths had some truth in them, and we sort of felt bad for killing them, since they believed that they were doing the right thing. Let's see if we can do the same here.
Uptight Snootle: trades zebra slaves for others, and brutally punishes those who misbehave. Upon his final moments however, he insists that he was protecting them, claiming that no one kills slaves for they are needed for their services, and saying that it would be better for them to live longer lives as slaves rather than die fighting free.
Gladius: goes around to forcibly draft stallions and mares to the army, wounding or killing those who refuse. When dying, he says he did all of the murders to set an example, to show what happens to them when the enemy invades, and wanted to recruit soldiers to protect the ponies, questioning that what good your life is if you don't fight for it and for your country.
And another one who I can't quite choose, but someone who targets someone of nobility (Shining Armor, Cadence, Blueblood, etc., take your pick) so someone else can take their place. When questioned he/she did this, he/she claims that said noble is weak and incompetent, and someone who doubts themselves is not worthy of the crown, saying that the title should not belong to blood but by who is the most powerful.
So, what do you think? Do you like it? Do you want to make some changes? Feel free to say your thoughts.
3264481 I rather like the idea, and I actually have things like this planned. I'm trying to make it have a similar feel to the game, and thus there will be specific targets Octavia and her team will go after.
3264739
If you'd like, I can send their final words to you as a PM. Or would like to think them up yourself?
Um I have an idea for the funeral. When like the mane six find out they blame it on rainbow because she tells them she an assassin and they tell the Celestia and Octavia tries to make rainbow dash innocent
3267580 I really don't know. What I DO know is that I want to make Octavia begin to doubt both herself and the Brotherhood, much like how Conner did in AC 3.
Oh yes, check this sexy/freaky trot cycle, love interest or maybe leader?
All I will say is PLEASE, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER
http://warhorsegirl.deviantart.com/art/Violet-Night-first-trot-305741043
1. BRINGTWILIGHTBACKORISWERONTHEGRAVEOFEZIOSFATHERIWILLKILLYOU!!!!!
2. you may yous my oc echo heartstrings as an assassin or da Vinci she is a mint grean pegisis with dark pink and orange main styled like dashies creasent moon with 2 8th notes in it cutie mark and a coustom whatch a thick2inch band with a regular black whatch on it
oh and bring back twighlght or ill kill you
allso plot idea 4 U
rainbow and tavi go to dr hoofs and go back in time to save twilight besides you allredy told them to visit a time lord earlier remember so yhea no funiral just action to save / stop her frome being hurt in the first place so yhea save bucking twi or else also ad some cute twidash fluff pleas and maby some taviiscratch ?
3408698 Sorry mate. Probably not going to happen. I'll give you a list of suggested hit-men to call.
Well I've got an OC for ya.
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/f/2013/260/f/7/new_oc__war_craft_by_magicbronie24-d6mnrfd.png
His name is War Craft and his special talent is writing down the stories that war craft (basically a war time reporter) and his mark is a quill writing in a book, however this point is malleable to the need of the story to an extent. If not all the spaces are filled I'd prefer him to be portrayed as an assassin, but once more this point is up for debate.
Thank you for your time
3408949 Also, the Doctor can mess in time, but not with set events. It'd cause a paradox.
Here's an OC if you need one still.
pony.cscdn.us/pic/photo/0401ed6796f1f9b637d18a4ba337e1d6_1024.png?t=527ed90cb6017
His name is Time Paradox, he's a chemist originating from Canterlot. It doesn't show in the picture, but he only has one eye since he lost the other in a fight when he was 13. Other than that...I'll let you manipulate his history to the advantage of the story.
Dear Quillin I have a Templar leader idea for you. A pitch black unicorn, with a red and orange mane. His name is scarecrow, his mark is a blood red, grinning face to showcase his special talent, which is the ability to control fear, he was taken in by the Templar order because he blends with ponies so easily. His reason for joining is simple he wants power, but if possible do not kill him instead make him an ally, because he can get information that Vando can not.
3564572 That's a good idea, though I just want to remind you that Vando's story line is different from Octavia's. I may use that idea for Octavia, however.
3264481
as late as this comment is, 9 weeks late sorry about that but my computer died and I never really got around to getting a new one
I love it!
I do like what you did with Uptight Snootle and I always do think of Blueblood as either a villain or very killable
3565333 I meant Octavia also could you try and make him like Garnier de Naplouse. (the mad doctor in the original assassins creed) because Scarecrow is my main ponysona and I have always related to Garnier as the most noble of the templar's in the first game. I don't know why maybe it has to do with my S.P.D. (split personality disorder) Also I believe I'm related to Garnier.
I know this is late but do you still need an assassin if so please email me @ irishinjun95@gmail.com