The Lost Elements

by SpaghettiPie

The Cupcake Store

Twilight had made her way across town, diligently trotting. She looked around the town and used her magic to pull a map from her saddlebag.

“Sweet Apple Acres.” She said, even in the town she lived in, a map was good help in finding her way. After putting the map back she continued to trot, passing by a few familiar places like Rose Luck’s corner shop and Carrot Top’s market. Making a deal and buying produce for a few bits, Twilight continued her journey.

“Twilight!” A voice called over from a store, waving an orange hoof in the air. A blonde haired earth pony smiled widely. “You wanted to meet at the barn, but ‘ah can’t! Pinkie and ‘ah made plans, but I forgot about it. You wanted to talk to both of us, though, didn’t yah?”

Twilight smiled softly and nodded. “Actually, Yes! If only meeting all of you at the same time were possible, the convenience would be amazing.” She trotted closer to the store, the name; “Sugar Cube Corner” was engraved on a piece of wood hanging over the door.

“Thanks for understandin’, Twilight. Apple Bloom wanted to have a sleep over and Big Mac is watching over them until I get back. Hope he has some luck with calming them down.” She pulled her hat down over her eyes and then lifted it again. “They said something about getting coffee makin’ cutie-marks.” She winked and then waved her hoof for Twilight to enter the building.

“Twilight!” A small pink pony with fluffy, messy hair jumped up from behind the counter. “I’m so super glad you came! Apple Jack told me she had to come down and I remember you saying that you wanted to come over so maybe now we can have a slumber-y slumber party like Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! If we are, I call dibs on being Scootaloo, she gets to ride a scooter all the scootaloo-dah day!” She breathed in brightly and then looked over at the oven. “The cupcakes are baking, I made these just in case we get an extra order! Or for us.”

“Pinkie, Apple Jack, I’m so glad I could be here, and explain this in less time, Rarity already knows.” Twilight hugged the orange pony softly then sat down in a chair, sighing quietly. “See, last night,” her horn glowed again. Pulling the book out once more, and opening it to the right page, she nodded. “Princess Celestia sent me a book, a really interesting one! But, I don’t know what it means and we need to hold a meeting soon.”

Apple Jack, the orange pony, tilted her head. “Whats so meaningful about it? What do you think its about?”

Twilight looked at Apple Jack and put her hoof on her head, imitating a head-ache. “It says things about elements, and I think it has something to do with our elements. I thought it meant that anti-elements were coming, to take over Equestria or something, but,”
“That doesn’t make sense!” The pink pony grumbled softly under her breath. “I’m all about not making sense and I know when something doesn’t make sense.”

“What do you mean, Pinkie?” Twilight turned around to face the pink pony, and dropped the book softly on the counter.

“Our Elements are working fine!” Pinkie threw her hoof down on the counter. “Maybe it means something like Fire, Water, Earth and Air?”

“I don’t think so, there was something in the book saying there were over thirty of them.” Twilight muttered and opened the book. “See?”

Pinkie and Apple Jack looked over the book with interest.

“Out of all the elements, the strongest of them all is...” Apple Jack glared down at the page and squinted. “potassium. What the hay is a potassium!”

“Thats the thing, Apple Jack, I don’t have a clue.” Twilight let out a huff. “Well,” she started up again, “I was hoping we could all meet in the library sometime else, I have to tell Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Go check on Rarity sometime, too, she met someone named Quicksilver who wanted to help us, but she seemed too...”

“Suspicious?” Pinkie lifted her head, tilting it side ways and scowling with confusion. “I met Quicksilver today and she was just so happy to be here! She came in this night, you were asleep and she didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Well, yes Pinkie. She did seem a little suspicious. She was nice, though.” Twilight levitated the book into her bag again and then stood up.

“Twilight, have you eaten at all today?” Apple Jack stood up, too, walking over to Twilight and putting her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “You look hungry.”

“I’m a bit too busy, I can grab a sandwich on my way back from Fluttershy’s, I told her to get Rainbow Dash.”

“Okay, as long as you get something.” Apple Jack sighed softly.

“Bye, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie called through the door as Twilight walked away slowly, off to find the pegasus’s house.

Author's Note:

So many dislikes already, I haven't even gotten to the most important part yet! It will hopefully be in the 5th Chapter, and those of you reading I hope you like it. Trying my best while in school, I shouldn't be doing this but I love it so much.

Comments

[SlipperPutty]

“Out of all the elements, the strongest of them all is...” Apple Jack glared down at the page and squinted. “potassium. What the hay is a potassium!”

^^ Best part right here my friend. Keep up in your writing my friend.

[SpaghettiPie]

2220508 Thanks, I'm glad someone is posting comments.

I'm working on the periodic table of elements at school, and that was my same reaction xD

[OpalBerries]

2223939 Hmmm? Elements, do I hear? Chemistry?

[OpalBerries]

“Sweet Apple Acres.” She said, even in the town she lived in a map was good help in finding her way.

- so she lived in a map? Might want to use a comma between "in, a." dat grammar and punc mean a whole lot.

Making a deal and buying produce for a few bits, Twilight continued her journey.

- What is this info relevant to? Might want to take it out, or add a little more info to make it relevant to something.

She pulled her hat down over her eyes and then lifted it again.

- why? Useless info.

“Pinkie, Apple Jack, I’m so glad I could be here. And explain this in less time. Rarity already knows.”

- Put a comma before that 'and'; it's a incomplete sentence; a clause, but not subject.

there's more... alot more, but I don't feel like exposing all of these 'follies', and if you're doing this in the middle of your systematic educative program, like after school or something, or just doing this in a rush, I advise you to take a little more time reading what you write, or 'type' to be correct. Why? Mainly because there is an unprecedented amount of obscurities residing within the text. Either proof or pre-read before you submit, lest you have an entire story filled with this 'atrocities' they call 'errors.' Just a bit of, what they call, 'friendly advice.'

[SpaghettiPie]

2228082 Thanks for the corrections, and i am doing this literally, during, school. I just don't care to learn for social studies.

I have had a history for excluding commas and repeating capitalization, and it is a help when people tell me my "errors" and give me friendly advice on how to fix it, which I will do so.