Introducing The Director. Also, Twilight
“Yes everything is certain--ly fiiiiine! It’s fiiiiiiiine!”
“Yes! Everything’s gonna be just fine!”
“CUT! That’s a wrap on Twilight Sparkle! And that’s a wrap on season on season three! Congratulations, everypony, stomp yourselves a round of applause, you deserve it!” The Director shouted as episode thirteen of season three was finally in the can. The sounds of a stampede, cheering, and whistling filled the soundstage as the cast and crew obeyed their captain like good little soldiers. Twilight magicked the headphones off her ears as she exited the recording booth. It was obvious that she was not yet use to her wings because they were flared all the way out to their full breadth and they brushed against the doorjamb as she exited. Her friends all gathered around her as they hoof bumped and hugged one another on a job well done. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy gently and somewhat awkwardly helped Twilight close them. Then they walked off together chatting and laughing. Conspicuous by their absence were the Goddess Princesses. Obviously they had important royal duties to attend to that were far beyond my station as a journalist to comprehend.
I was invited to the Friendship is Magic Studios in Manehattan on the final day of filming the last episode of season three. This season was only half as long as the first two and the series creator and head writer had long since gone on to greener pastures. However, in this pony’s humble opinion, the quality of the episodes had not declined. For a long time I had wanted to interview the cast of the most popular show in Equestria, however Sapphire Shores was much to busy. So, here I am on the set of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic getting ready to interview the cast of the second most popular show in Equestria. Even though the shows target demographic is fillies, it reached second in the ratings overall because of an unexpected fan base, stallions. It is first in the ratings with stallions just narrowly beating out the former forerunner, Equestria Championship Wrestling. I could not wait to get started, however, before I spoke to the cast I figured that I should talk to the Director.
The Director was in his office on the telephone, the door was closed and his back was to me. He was a navy blue Unicorn with a short black mane and tail, both of which were starting to gray. He wore a black vest and a black beret, and his Cutie Mark was that of a clapperboard that was slightly open. He held the receiver up to his head with a pale green glow. He was shouting something incomprehensible at the pony on the other end of the line and pounding both his forelegs on his desk. He slammed the receiver back onto the cradle. He massaged his temples with his fore hooves and heaved a sigh. When he turned around and saw me, he smiled and waved me in.
“Well that was fast!” The Director said, impressed, as I entered his office, “I just got off the phone with you guys.” He looked to my right, then to my left, then behind me. Then he cocked his eyebrow and asked, a little louder and annoyed “Well!? Where is it!?”
“Wh-Where is what?” I asked, more than a little confused.
“MY LATTE! I just ordered a caramel latte with chocolate shavings! You’re from catering aren’t you?”
“No, I am Camerashy; I am from Hoof Beat Magazine. I was invited here today to interview the cast of your show.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard about that,” The Director said with a smile. Then he scowled and added, “It’s too bad about Sapphire Shores.”
I cleared my throat, looked down at my hooves, and blushed, a little embarrassed. “Yeah, it’s a shame.” I said sheepishly.
“Ah, it’s fine, I invited you here, after all.” He said with a huge smile. “The name’s Motion Capture, but everypony calls me ‘M.C.’”
“’M.C,’ huh, sounds pretty cool. You get that nickname in Collage?”
“No, it was that damn DJ that started calling me that, way back when we first hired her for that scene in ‘Suited for Success.’ I don‘t mind it really, it actually does sound kind of cool. Anyway, everypony is here, waiting for you, well, not waiting for you, it’s the last day of filming and there’s a wrap party for the cast and crew. But they know that you are here to interview them. If you need anything just ask the runners and they will do their best to oblige.”
“Just a moment Mr. Capture,”
“Please, Camerashy, call me M.C.”
“I was hoping to ask you a few questions first, M.C.”
“All right, sure. What would our audience like me to tell them?”
“Actually, there are a few questions that I would like to ask you.”
“A fan of the show, eh?” M.C. said with a smug smile as he raised an eyebrow. “You know, stallions were not originally our target demographic. However, they seem to be our largest audience.”
“Yeah, I suppose I am, it’s weird to say out loud, but I guess I am what is commonly referred to in the fandom’s nomenclature as a ‘Brony.’”
“Nomenclature?”
There goes that eyebrow again.
“Twilight is going to love you. What would you like to ask me?”
I knew what he meant, however, that did not stop my heart from skipping a beat when he said it, still, I soldiered on. “This studio seems kind of small for all of the big locations that you have on your show, is this really where you film everything?”
“Oh, no, with the exception of the Everfree Forrest and the scenes that we need the green screen for, which are shot in the soundstage across the street, we shoot every scene on location. This is easier, because most of the cast are residents of Ponyville or Canterlot. This is a recording studio; we just sweeten the songs and dialogue here.”
“And what does that entail?”
“We record the songs and speech on location with the actors singing their parts while they perform the choreography and reciting their lines while acting out the scenes. However, due to forces beyond our control, weather, wind, background noise, and ponies facing away from the microphones, we sometimes don’t get the quality of sound that we desire. So, we bring everypony back here and let the actors sing their songs or recite their lines into the microphone, either one at time or together, depending on the song or scene.”
“You said that the weather is beyond your control, however, I thought that you had one of the best weather ponies in Ponyville working on the show.”
M.C. rolled his eyes, “To hear it from her she is the best Pegasus anything in existence. Anyway, sometimes the script calls for our cast to perform in inclement weather, like in ‘Winter Wrap-Up,’ ‘Fall Weather Friends,’ or ‘Look Before You Sleep.’ So bad weather is sometimes needed.”
“I can imagine doing a big song and dance number in the snow can be exhausting.”
“Yeah, that’s another reason for the recording studio.” M.C. replied with a laugh, “After an exhausting day of dancing and frolicking throughout Equestria, it’s nice to just sit in a soundproof room all day and repeat your lines over and over until you get them the way the director and writers want them.”
“Would you like to share anything else before I go?”
M.C. lowered his voice and beckoned me closer with a wave of his hoof, “Well, there is something that you may not know about Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.”
I leaned closer and in a hushed voice I asked, “What would that be?”
M.C. darted his teal eyes back and forth to make sure nopony was around to hear him divulge this juicy bit of gossip. “They don’t sing their own songs on the show.”
My eyes were filled with disbelief and my mouth was agape as I said “No…”
“It’s true! Oh, they sing the songs while we tape the show, however, when we bring the product back here, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie each have their own voices dubbed over!”
I was aghast, “Unbelievable! I mean Pinkie Pie sings more songs than anypony else in the show with a total of fifteen solos. It seems like some sort of sick joke that we do not here her voice when she sings.”
“Well, we do let Pinkie Pie sing when we need a goofy voice for one of her songs. Other than that, their voices are dubbed. It’s the big lie of the show. Excuse me it looks like my latte is finally here. If you don’t believe me, you should go find Twilight Sparkle, she has the least trouble admitting that she can‘t sing.” Leaving me sitting in his office, dumbfounded, M.C. went to fetch his coffee.
I found Twilight Sparkle at the buffet table perusing the different cupcakes, cookies, and mini pies. She held in her violet magical grip a paper plate that contained chocolate chip cookie and mini pumpkin pie. She was eyeing one of the cupcakes that looked like miniature versions of a very popular cake.
“Is that what I think it is?” I asked as my mouth watered, “Is that a cupcake version of-”
“Precisely,” She interrupted, “The Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. More affectionately known as the MMMM. Given that moniker by Pinkie Pie. Or to be more specific, the scriptwriters. Would you like one? They are really good.”
“I shouldn’t, they’re for the cast. It wouldn’t be right.”
“It’s perfectly alright; there are plenty to go around.”
I was a professional, and a gentlecolt, and it would not be proper to mention my lactose intolerance and gluten allergy, which would always sentence me to long, drawn out periods of extreme… discomfort whenever I indulged in such delicacies. So, with a smile I offered, “Maybe later.”
“Suit yourself; However, I am going to have one.” She said as she magicked a MMMM cupcake to her lips and devoured it.
It finally dawned on me, she was talking to me! I let out a little fancolt scream in my head. “Hello, I’m Camerashy.”
Twilight swallowed her cupcake, smiled slyly, then quipped, “Then it is a good thing that you are not an actor.”
“Ha, funny I haven’t heard that one,” then quietly to myself I added, “yet today.” Then I continued, out loud, “Anyway, I was wondering if I could possibly conduct an interview with you Miss Twilight Sparkle.”
“Sure, however, please, call me Twilight.” She said smiling over her shoulder as she led me somewhere where we could talk in peace.
She said I could call her Twilight! I let out another fancolt scream in my head.
Then she hit me playfully in the snout with her tail and added with a wink, “Or, Miss Sparkle, if you’re nasty.”
A nervous chuckle was all I could muster at the time. I was about to interview THE Twilight Sparkle! And here I was, as tongue-tied as a… as a… Damn it! I was so tongue-tied I could not think of a proper analogy. And to make matters worse, as my mind was racing trying to find the proper analogy, we were still walking and Twilight was speaking to me, and I was not listening. Then it happened, to quote a line from my favorite episode, it was, “The. Worse. Possible. THING!” Twilight had stopped walking and I was so deep in thought that I had failed to notice, and continued walking. And my snout ACIDENTALY and very briefly collided with her… her… Thank Celestia her tail was in the way.
The look on Twilight’s face broke my heart; it was a look that combined disgust, anger, shame, and shock. “How…DARE…you?” Twilight’s voice oozed with hatred and her eyes shot daggers into my soul as she shouted, “Who do you think you are!?”
My orange eyes grew wide with terror as I stumbled backward as fast as I could, falling down on my own plot in the process. I awkwardly clambered to my hooves and bowed down repeatedly, tears steaming down my face as I apologized over and over. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, so, sorry!” I practically wailed, “I wasn’t paying attention! I honestly had no malicious or lascivious intent! Please, please, please forgive me!”
I waited, with my head bowed so low that my chin was resting on the floor for what seemed like an eternity but was probably more like five seconds, for a response. I was expecting to have my teeth kicked out of my scull and then be hauled off to jail for assault. However, above me, all that I heard was a playful giggle and then a full-blown laugh attack.
“Oh, my goodness, you poor thing, I was only kidding! It was partially my fault anyway. I realized that you were not listening to me so I stopped and said, ‘You know, if you don’t start paying attention, you’re going to bump-’ and then you did. The look on your face was priceless; I couldn’t help but tease you.”
“Ah, yes, heh heh,” I chuckled, relieved, as I wiped the sweat from my brow, “I’ve heard rumors that you liked to pull prank on fans of the show. I am so relieved that I haven’t offended you, Twilight Sparkle.”
“I told you to call me Twilight.” Then she added, with a mischievous smile, “Although, considering where your snout was a moment ago maybe you are nasty enough to call me ‘Miss Sparkle.’”
“No! No, (ahem) Twilight will be just fine.”
For a second, I could have sworn that Twilight looked crestfallen. I made point, this time, not to let myself get distracted as we continued walking. We stopped in front of a door that was emblazoned with Twilight’s cutie mark.
“Now,” she said as she turned around, giving me a playful smile, “can you be trusted alone with me in my boudoir or do I need security?”
“You can trust me,” I said playing along. “Even if I did get out of line, I’m sure somepony as powerful as you would have no problem dealing with a mere journalist such as myself.”
“I don’t know,” Twilight said feigning bashful innocents, “a big, strong unicorn stallion such as yourself, might be inclined to take advantage of the situation were there nopony around to keep your baser instincts in check.”
Twilight was trying to flatter me, she was at least two inches taller than I am, “I swear I am as gentle as Big Macintosh.”
“Ugh, Big Mac is a horrible cad.”
“Really?”
“Ha, ha, no, he’s as sweet and gentle as can be!”
I involuntarily groaned face hoofed. I had fallen for another one of her spoofs.
Before we entered her dressing room, something dawned on me. “Just a moment, I just realized something is missing. Twilight, where are you wings?”
“You just noticed that? You’re not a very good reporter it you are just now noticing that.”
By now I have gotten used to Twilight’s particular brand of humor. “Yeah that is why I work for an entertainment magazine interviewing arrogant celebrities and not a reputable news organization interviewing arrogant dignitaries. However, you are dodging the question; what happened to your wings?”
“Already asking the tough questions, I see.” Twilight said rolling her eyes, “The wings were a practical effect created by the effects studio.”
“And what exactly is a ‘practical effect?’”
Twilight was in full on egghead mode at this point. With her eyes closed and her right fore hoof up in the air, her explanation, which sounded recited verbatim from a textbook that she had read on the subject, answered my question. “A practical effect is a special effect in which a prop appears to work in a situation where it obviously could not in real life. They do not use trick photography or post-production techniques. In television, practical effect denotes an effect physically produced on-set, without CGI or other post production techniques.”
Oh, my Goddess, I love it when she does that Miss Know-it-All thing! No! Do not give in to her beguiling adorkableness! Compose yourself!
“So, they were fake? But they looked so real. I mean, you were able to tuck them in, they flapped, they flared, and, if you don’t mind me saying, for a moment there, you even looked like you might have had a slight case of,” I whispered the next two words, “wing priapism.”
“Well, our practical effects artist are very good, and ‘very good,’ is an understatement. Spectacular would be a better superlative. Even though the wings were phony, they were also magnificently crafted. They were designed to fold and unfold, and when unfolded, and attached to my body, they were made to flap when I flexed my withers.”
“Amazing, but if they were fake why were you wearing them in the recording booth?”
“They are fun to wear, and it’s fun to pretend to be a princess.”
“I have never tried to pretend to be a princess, so I’ll have to take your word for it.” I said, deadpan, as we entered her dressing room.
Inside her dressing room, Twilight invited me to sit down in one of the two chairs. I stood in front of the one that did not have her cutie mark stitched into the back and, being the gentlecolt that I am, waited for her to be seated first.
After I took my seat, I said, “For the past three seasons, I have wanted to sit down and have a discussion with the cast.”
“Yes, well, I’m no Sapphire Shores, so I hope you won’t be too disappointed.”
“While it was unfortunate, in more ways than one, that Sapphire Shores’ schedule would not allow her to take time off to be interviewed by a no-name rookie reporter such as myself; I was quite excited when I got the message that I was going to be able to interview you…”
Twilight cocked her head and raised her eyebrow as a smile slowly appeared on her lips.
Damn it!
“Uh, all of you! Everyone in the show. The entire cast. The collective ‘you’ Not you in particular. Well, yes, you will be one of the ‘you.’ In fact you are the best ‘you’- First ‘you!’ But only because M.C. suggested I find you first. You know, because you can’t sing?”
Luna damn it! I was panicking. I needed to calm down and reassess the situation. So I stopped there to take a minute to collect my thoughts and try again, not really remembering the last thing that I just said.
Her smile was gone now, replaced with a look of skepticism, “So, you think that I can’t sing?”
“Um… no! No, M.C. was the one that said that you could not sing. However, he told me to interview you first because you were the one who had the ‘least trouble’ admitting the fact that you cannot sing.”
For the first time since I started talking to her, Twilight seemed genuinely upset. “While it is true that my voice is dubbed over for my songs, it is not a ‘fact’ that I cannot sing. The producers just think that the pony they hired to sweeten my songs is a ‘better’ singer.” Then she hung her head and her ears drooped as she sadly added, “And they’re right, her voice is beautiful. I can’t fault the mare for being good at her job.”
“At least everypony thinks her voice is coming out of your mouth.” I offered with a soothing smile. I wanted to place my fore hoof on her withers to comfort her further, however my professionalism was at war with my chivalry and, for better or worse, my professionalism won out. So, I just tried my best to make my smile even more soothing.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Twilight smiled, “Her efforts do make my voice sound magnificent.”
Whew, crisis adverted. But I just had to ask for future reference. “Was M.C. telling the truth about you taking the voice dubbing the best? Or, was he just messing with me?”
“Oh, no, he was telling the truth alright, you really don’t want to ask Rarity or Pinkie Pie about it. They may or may not become violent.” Her face was deadpan as she added, “Depending on their moods you may get your teeth kicked down your throat.”
At this point, I can no longer tell whether or not Twilight is being serious, so I just nod and say, “Thanks, I shall keep that in mind.”
“That would be a very good idea.”
“If it is not to sore of a subject, which is your favorite song in the show?”
There was a twinkle in her eye; she did not even have to think about the question, her answer came automatically and enthusiastically, “‘Winter Wrap-Up,’ without a doubt.”
“Ooh, great song. It is one of my favorites as well. But, why is it your favorite?”
“It is the first song in which I got to participate. It was also the first song in which the entire population of Ponyville was able to participate. I was so excited that I finally got to contribute my talents to a song. I sang my own lines. It was wonderful. Until the day we came in to sweeten the songs. For three days I sang into that microphone trying to please the director. And on the fourth day M.C. told me that they found somepony to sing my lines for me. I was heartbroken. But it was for the best, as you said she makes my voice sound magnificent.”
“Actually, you said that, I just didn’t disagree with you.”
“Semantics.” Twilight said as she waved a hoof dismissively.
Trying to change the subject, I looked around her dressing room. For a “dressing room”, there was not much clothing. It had a dressing table; a dress form that wore her princess dress; below the dress form sat her princess shoes; and Twilight’s crown sat atop the dress form’s head. There was partition that was folded up and pushed against a wall. However, something, or some dragon was missing. “So, where is Spike?”
“‘Spike’ is over there.” She gestured to a corner of the room behind me. I turned around to where she was pointing, however, all I saw was a tennis ball glued to a dowel that was just under a meter long and attached to a base so that it could stand on its own accord.
“I’m sorry, I don’t get it.”
“Due to foal labor laws, which apparently also apply to dragons, Spike can work no longer than five hours a day, twenty-four hours a week, and six days a week for the show. He also cannot work before seven in the morning or after eleven thirty at night. And, even though he is a baby dragon, he is still a dragon. And ponies on mass transit systems get leery when they see a fire-breathing creature in an enclosed, inescapable, fast moving vehicle with them. Therefore, when we are not filming in either Ponyville or Canterlot, or when we have a Spike-centric episode; we sometimes have to interact with ‘Tennis Ball Spike.’ See, the tennis ball is where his eye line is. When we interact with ‘Tennis Ball Spike’, we look at the tennis ball. So when CGI animators animate Spike into the shot we are looking into his eyes.”
“So, Spike is sometimes a tennis ball on a pole?”
“That’s a succinct of putting it, yes. It’s the big lie of the show. It is all camera magic. ‘Camera magic,’ ha, camera trickery would be more accurate. It involves the use of the green screen, and the CGI animators plying their craft.” Something dawned on her and she continued. “Actually, come to think of it, Camera Magic would be apropos, considering that’s the name of our CGI Department’s head animator.”
“Hold on, if you cannot bring Spike with you, who sweetens his lines?”
“There is a very small recording booth in the basement of the library in Ponyville. Spike gets a version of the current script that only has his lines and emotional directions on it. He reads and I record his lines, and I teleport the recordings to M.C. when he is finished. Then the M.C. listens to it and teleports me notes on what he would like Spike to do differently.”
“That seems like it would be very stressful for Spike. Like a student waiting in the classroom for his teacher to finish correcting his exam.”
“Not really, he is always excited as a foal opening a new toy on Hearth’s Warming Day every time he gets a new script. He reads it to himself over and over trying to figure out what the episode is about with his lines as his only clue.”
“Has he ever correctly deduced an episode’s plot?”
“Oh, Celestia, no. Spike is horrible at deduction. He is always so far off base that sometimes I wonder if he is guessing wrong just to be ironic. But, alas, no. He just really has no clue. He never lets that deter him, though. Not even when he failed to guess the plot of the episode that eventually turned out to be his favorite.”
“Which one was that?”
“Season two, episode ten, ‘Secret of my Excess.’ It was his favorite episode for six reasons. First, it was his birthday episode. (We celebrated his birthday in the episode and those were his real gifts.) Second, he got a kiss from Rarity. (He insisted they keep redoing that scene until they ‘got it right.’) Third, he got that pimp hat. (The pimp hat was his favorite gift.) Fourth, he was able to play the villain. (He really relishes the episodes where he gets to be evil, sometimes a little too much.) Fifth, he was able to wear body suits and stand on stilts. (He loved the progression of slightly larger sized suits that he was able to wear with longer and longer stilts and longer and longer arm extensions.) Finally, he was able to see what he would look like as an adult dragon thanks to the CGI animators conceptual CGI Spike. (Although he was disappointed that grown-up CGI Spike did not have wings.)”
I was awestruck by the beauty of her perfect nerdiness. I kept myself from gushing like a crazed fancolt, however that did not stop my ears from flapping by themselves. Thankfully, I was able to regain control of my ears after only two flaps. However, I could not stop the impressed and elongated “Wow” that was the first thing to jump out of my mouth, “Woooow, that was very…” Don’t say “hot!” “…detailed. (Ahem)” I blinked, shook my head to switch myself from fancolt mode back to reporter mode, and continued, “You know so much about Spike’s favorite episode, what is your favorite episode?”
Once again she needed no time to think about her answer, “My favorite episode would have to be from season one episode six, ‘Boast Busters,’ because it introduced The Great and Powerful Trixie, or as Snips calls her,” She did her best imitation of Snips, “‘The G and PT.’” It was very good. It was not mocking or insulting, but spot on. “It was the first time that I met another unicorn whose special talent was magic since I graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Even though in the show Trixie was a nasty snob, in real life she was quite…” Twilight stopped and looked up, seemingly to look backward at past memories. A playful smile graced her lips and she giggled before she finished her thought, “…congenial. (Ahem)” Now it was her turn to blink and shake her head.
Forget it. I am a gentlecolt and I work for a family magazine, it would probably not be proper for me to delve into that thought. Change the subject, quickly.
“Anyway, it seems that Spike is his own favorite villain, so, who is yours…” Before I could stop myself I blurted out, “Trixie?” My eyes got wide as I realized my faux pas.
Shouldn’t have said that.
Thankfully, Twilight did not seem to notice; or maybe she did not care; or maybe it was not that big a secret; or maybe she mistook my gentlecoltly shyness as denseness. Either way she matter-of-factly answered, “Actually no, and they are more of an antagonist, than a villain, really. The parasprites, you know, from season one, episode ten, ‘Swarm of the Century?’”
She thought she had to spell it out. That answered that question; she thought I was dense. I must admit; my pride took a hit and overtook my professionalism as I defensively and absent-mindedly answered, “Of course I know what parasprites are. I am a fan of the show; I have seen every episode multiple times.”
“Really? Then you must have a favorite villain, who is it?” She asked with mischievous grin.
Still defensive and absent-minded, I, for a moment, forgot who I was talking to, and answered that question way too honestly and quickly, “That’s easy, ‘Psycho Twilight’ from season two episode three, ‘Lesson Zero.’ It‘s my favorite episode.” Remembering back to the first time I saw that episode cheered me up and I smiled. However, I was still unaware of who I was talking to as I blissfully continued, “She was just sooo ‘adorable’ in that-”
Mother of Celestia, what have I done?
It had finally dawned on me who I was talking to. “Oops.”
Damage control! DAMAGE CONTROL!
Twilight’s face lit up. “Ha! I knew it! You’ve been acting peculiar since we first met! You’re enamored with me!”
My entire head blushed as I stuttered through my next few sentences, “‘E-enamored m-might be a l-little s-strong. I-I would s-say that y-your c-character is the one I most i-identify w-with.”
“Aah! I’m your favorite pony?” Twilight said with a huge smile as she squeed.
My entire head still resembled a tomato as I twiddled my hooves and continued, “W-well, y-yes, sort of. I-I mean I’m b-bookish, a l-little OCD, I am k-kind of a p-perfectionist, I am m-more a-awkward than I r-realize social s-situations, and I s-study when I’m bored.” I was emboldened when I realized a slight error in my last statement. I forgot my embarrassment and stopped stuttering as I made the correction, “Although, that last one is probably just me because they never showed your character bored on the show. However, if your character is not doing something else she is always reading a book.”
“That was very detailed as well, Camerashy. You sure did your research on me.”
Still trying to find the rest of my courage, I corrected her, “No, not you, your character. I came here today with the mindset that you and the characters of yourselves that you portray in the show are separate entities, i.e. you, Twilight Sparkle, are not the same pony as the Twilight Sparkle in the show. Even though I told myself that before I got here, it is an entirely different matter to remember it. That is because you look like her, you sound like her, and you even act like her. And being here in her presence, excuse me, your presence, is almost overwhelming.” Finally at ease again, I continued, “And, just like I imagined, or hoped, you are extremely easy to get along with. I must admit, however, that you are a lot more fun in real life than your character seems to be on the show.”
“It’s nice to know that somepony realizes that we are not defined by the characters we portray on television.” Twilight said like a teacher lecturing her student, “However, your assumption that we are all different from the characters we portray, may be a little… off base. Fluttershy, for example.”
“I am relieved to here that Fluttershy is similar to the character she portrays. Her character is so sweet and kind; it just makes you want to protect her with your life.” I said as my eyes filled with tears of joy as I remembered all of Fluttershy’s episodes and adorable scenes. Then my eyes grew angry and dark as I remembered the times when somepony, or some griffon made her cry as I coldly continued, “And murder anypony who purposefully makes her sad.”
“Yes, Fluttershy sure is...” Twilight stopped and looked up, seemingly to look backward at past memories. A smile graced her lips and she chuckled before she finished her thought, “special.”
No, there wasn’t anything suspicious about that smile or that chuckle.
Twilight was serious again, “But to put your mind at ease, and to stop you and your readers from harassing any past guest stars, Fluttershy is never really mistreated by anypony, it’s television, it‘s not real. We appreciate the fan mail, the episode suggestions, the marriage proposals; even the hate mail is amusing. However, the death threats made Gilda cry.”
My voice was small and barely audible as I gulped, “Death threats?”
“Yeah, about a week after ‘Griffon the Brush-off’ aired, Gilda got a lot of hate mail. She even laughed at some of them. However, there were four death threats that really scared her. Luckily, the morons who wrote them put their return addresses on the envelopes.”
“Ha, ha! Sorry, death threats, not funny, absolutely not funny. However, sloppy mistakes that lead to instant karma, hilarious. So how were they punished?”
“I don’t know. We showed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna the letters and Princess Celestia said that they would ‘make sure it did not ever happen again.’ The next day Princess Celestia said that it was ‘taken care of.’ We did not get any negative fan mail, marriage proposals, or episode suggestions for the next three months afterward. All we got was fan mail praising the princesses.”
Note to self, princesses are their own Gestapo. Do not piss them off.
“It seems that we have gotten a little sidetracked, you were saying that the parasprites were your favorite antagonist, could you please explain why?”
“They were the smallest antagonists ever, and they were all CGI! We could not use real parasprites during filming, for obvious reasons. However, before filming began I was able to study them. And, with the help of Pinkie Pie, I learned everything about them, and then we used it in the show. Like how they are voracious eaters; and how they reproduce asexually; and how the more they eat, the faster they reproduce; and how they can be trained to do simple menial chores; and how large groups of them can be controlled and manipulated with parade music.”
This time I was well aware of whom I was talking to, and I was finally comfortable enough with myself to talk to Twilight without being self-conscience, “That is another one of my favorite episodes. We get a brief look at ‘Psycho Twilight.’ And I believe that is the first appearance of ‘Inexact Spell Twilight,’ which is another one of my favorite versions of your character.”
“I am glad that somepony realizes that ‘Inexact Spell Twilight’ as you call her, is not real. In real life I am very careful and precise with all my spells.”
The way her pretty purple eyes were shifting back and forth as she made that statement did not fill my heart with confidence that it was an entirely truthful one. However, being the gentlecolt I am, I smiled and agreed with her anyway, “I thought as much. I always imagined you to be super powerful magically. Ever since that breathtaking show of power in ‘Boast Busters’ where you put that Ursa Minor to bed. I must ask, was that really all you or was that CGI and practical effects?”
“A filly has to have some secrets. However, on the day of filming, an Ursa Minor was present.” She answered with a wink.
“I really appreciate you being so kind taking the time to answer my foalish questions. Is there anything else you would like to add before we conclude our interview?”
“Yes, two things actually. First, don’t take any of us too seriously, you’re way too uptight, Camerashy. That’s going to make you the target of a lot of pranks, and my pranks are not as bad as those of some of my friends.”
I turned my head down, blushed, and smiled, embarrassed, and said with a chuckle as I rubbed the back of my neck “Thanks, I will try to remember that.”
“Secondly,” Twilight leapt forward and wrapped her forelegs around my neck, leaned in close, and rubbed her cheek against mine, and then she kissed me on my cheek. My heartbeat increased as it rushed blood to my face… and to another more… intimate area. She broke the hug and smiled, “I bet Sapphire Shores wouldn’t have done that. I hope you’re not still too disappointed you didn’t get to talk to her today.” She glanced down and then quickly averted her eyes, blushed, and smiled coyly. “Ah, it looks as though you’re not disappointed after all. Well, I’m going to get me another Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness Cupcake, care to escort me out?”
I sat with my legs crossed trying, without much luck, to keep my shame hidden. Red-faced I answered, “Um, no, I think I will sit here a little while longer lest I embarrass myself, or anypony else further.”
“All right, just make sure you clean up sanitize when you’re ‘finished.’ There are some towels in the bottom left drawer of the Dressing Table; and the lotion, sanitizer and deodorizer are in the drawer above it.” Twilight giggled as she left the room. A purple glow enveloped the door and it snapped shut.
I called out, “That’s not what I- I wasn’t going to- argh!” It was too late; she was already gone, leaving me alone with my embarrassment. Once again, I involuntarily face hoofed.
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Jimmy status: unrustled an very amused
i like this. please make more
2296850 Thanks, I just started on chapter two.
Hm, a story that genuinely intrigues me? I like, a lot.
I like how you made Twilight much more playful than she appears to be, and more flirty. Stupid sexy Twilight o3o. However, you might wanna fix the layout. It can get a little blocky from time to time.
I wonder what Twilight meant when she said Fluttershy was "special"...anyways, will up vote and fav! I hope to see more of this!
I was thinking about doing something like this. Alas, beaten to the punch. But this is pretty good, i'm amused.
I feel bad for Gilda. There are seriously some people who like Fluttershy a little too much.
Are you implying what I think you're implying about Fluttershy?
2319422 That depends, what do you think I'm implying?
2323287 I dunno, maybe that she's a bit...
2325449 Maybe.
Honestly, I have not yet settled on one specific idea.
2333554
Carry on.
I see.
Good so far. have some section-specific feedback!
Think clothing by pony standards. Even ponies in Canterlot don't appear to wear that much outside of formal parties.
I wonder if everyone interviewed is going to say there's something that's the big lie of the show. Finding out, of course, requires that you eventually finish this story (which the date stamps don't make look promising). If you don't, I might have to send you some of Gilda's mail
(obviously not the death threats, but my point stands).
Oh, and happy new year!