- Oh, dear; another look at the burdens of being a Companion; since she has a fair idea of what followed Victor and how important Twi is in stopping it, somepony's normally good mood is a trifle sour right now.
Despite knowing almost nothing about Killing Floor, this has been really fun to read so far. I'm eager to see all the things that are going to go wrong now that these two worlds have collided. It'll also be interesting to see how Doctor Whooves fits into all of this.
Perhaps now that we're delving into the actual content of the story, pacing will become a little quicker. Long descriptions are sometimes unavoidable though, so it's not anything bad. It can take a while to develop a unique style, but the more you write, the more defined your style will become. If you want more practice, just write tiny tidbits that you'd like to see in your story ahead of time.
All in all, keep up the great work! (I hope I didn't jump around too much in my review)
Well, just from the description I am now prepared for somepony to scream FLESH POUND and cause the entire group to panic and screw up massively. It always happens, I tell you.
Well, I'm sure okay with this story so far! I'm not really sure what the crossover's with (other than the fact it takes place in the portal/half life universes) but the entire thing pretty much covers all my check boxes on what makes me love a story.
The chapters have both quality and length, making it so that no matter how long I have to wait for a chapter I'll feel pretty satisfied reading the whole thing over the course of maybe ten to fifteen, possibly even thirty minutes.
You bring some pretty nice character development to the table that I haven't really seen before, like the way Rarity sees things a bit differently than anypony else.
It's also left in quite a bit of suspense, so I'm really looking forward to the next chap!
And... well, it's an awesome crossover. Need I say more?
4757 Thanks for the advice! I guess I'll have to wait and see how my style changes as the story progresses.
4759 Heh, its true. All it takes is a FP to ruin a good run.
5075 It makes me happy that my story is well received (so far)! To be honest, chapter 2 was going to be a lot longer than this, but then I realized I was already at 23 pages on Google Docs, so I ended it there. Also, to clarify, this is crossing over MLP with the game Killing Floor. Aperture science is mentioned since there is an official Portal map in the game, so I went with that single plot element.
Anyways, its comments that get me inspired, chapter 3 is in the works as we speak!
well I hope the Doctor has a bit more to do with this story then just that bit but not so much as to make it a doctor hooves story's so far though its not bad
- Oh, dear; another look at the burdens of being a Companion; since she has a fair idea of what followed Victor and how important Twi is in stopping it, somepony's normally good mood is a trifle sour right now.
this is gettin interestin
Despite knowing almost nothing about Killing Floor, this has been really fun to read so far. I'm eager to see all the things that are going to go wrong now that these two worlds have collided. It'll also be interesting to see how Doctor Whooves fits into all of this.
Perhaps now that we're delving into the actual content of the story, pacing will become a little quicker. Long descriptions are sometimes unavoidable though, so it's not anything bad. It can take a while to develop a unique style, but the more you write, the more defined your style will become. If you want more practice, just write tiny tidbits that you'd like to see in your story ahead of time.
All in all, keep up the great work! (I hope I didn't jump around too much in my review)
Well, just from the description I am now prepared for somepony to scream FLESH POUND and cause the entire group to panic and screw up massively. It always happens, I tell you.
Well, I'm sure okay with this story so far! I'm not really sure what the crossover's with (other than the fact it takes place in the portal/half life universes) but the entire thing pretty much covers all my check boxes on what makes me love a story.
The chapters have both quality and length, making it so that no matter how long I have to wait for a chapter I'll feel pretty satisfied reading the whole thing over the course of maybe ten to fifteen, possibly even thirty minutes.
You bring some pretty nice character development to the table that I haven't really seen before, like the way Rarity sees things a bit differently than anypony else.
It's also left in quite a bit of suspense, so I'm really looking forward to the next chap!
And... well, it's an awesome crossover. Need I say more?
Can't wait to see the next chapter!
Oh boy, I don't like not responding to comments, so I'll get to it!
4723
Yeah, being a companion isn't easy at all. It'll still give me some fun ideas to play around with!
4757
I'm glad you find it interesting!
4757
Thanks for the advice! I guess I'll have to wait and see how my style changes as the story progresses.
4759
Heh, its true. All it takes is a FP to ruin a good run.
5075
It makes me happy that my story is well received (so far)! To be honest, chapter 2 was going to be a lot longer than this, but then I realized I was already at 23 pages on Google Docs, so I ended it there. Also, to clarify, this is crossing over MLP with the game Killing Floor. Aperture science is mentioned since there is an official Portal map in the game, so I went with that single plot element.
Anyways, its comments that get me inspired, chapter 3 is in the works as we speak!
Doctor hooves? rated down and unfavorited.
14539 Whooves*
well I hope the Doctor has a bit more to do with this story then just that bit but not so much as to make it a doctor hooves story's so far though its not bad