2567617
She is very hateable, isn't she? But also tragically fascinating, I think

I'm really hoping we will get a satisfactory explanation on why Sweetie has been, for lack of a better word, infected with these visions.

2567885
I certainly hope I'll manage to satisfy that wish, too. What do you think so far of the story, though?

2567914

Honestly? I'm ambiguous about it. I think you may have messed up Scootaloo's reaction to the crush (I would have went with a more immature response like Scootaloo saying that kissing is gross or too girly for her.) but there wasn't anything really wrong with that scene besides it wasn't how I would have done it.

The weird possession thing going on with Sweetie is making me uneasy because it's a make or break moment for your story. If I don't like the explanation the entire story is liable to be ruined by it.

I do like the flashbacks themselves as well as the diary entries. I'm not exactly happy about Midnight because I hate that character. I was expecting her to show up though (this being a prequel after all) so it's not that bad.

2569218
I think it's important to read this story with the assumption that the CMC are around 12-13, and Midnight, Daffodil and Mandrake possibly more like 14 in the flashbacks. I see Scootaloo in particular as largely past her early immature stage, and while she may still be a little reluctant to show affection in public (as Sweetie comments at one point, IIRC), she's fairly mature when she's with her two friends. I think this largely reflects her development in the show, as well. They're all becoming more mature.

If you read the story with a different image of them, then obviously that's likely to clash. Perhaps I should make a note about it in the description?

You make a good point about the possession. I suppose it may have been better to give some more hints early on about what's behind that. I'll have to think about that.

I'm curious why you hate Midnight, though. I mean, she's an unapologetic murderer and a rapist, who does terrible things to young fillies, so obviously you're not supposed to think she's a nice and lovable pony. But I get the impression that's not your issue with her.

“Exactly,” Cheerilee agrees. “Now, are there any questions? Have everypony remembered everything?”

This phrase baffles me so.

Oh, and Miss Meadows' thought processes scare the daylights out of me, and it thoroughly saddens me to see her disappear. ......
That, and I can't seem to trust our new spirit friend.

P.S.: I don't quite think the story needs THAT tag, though blood/gore would be a good addition, if it's not already there.

Also, I think you've done an excellent job writing this story thus far, especially with the 'possession' giving such an amazing feeling of ambiguity that keeps me coming back for more. I honestly get squirmy when I don't get to read an update from this for a while.

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I don't think a description is necessary. Well maybe a throw away line about this being a few years after (insert canon event here)?

Do you really want me to rant about Midnight? I don't want to hurt your feelings cause I get the feeling you like that character. (Hint: I never finished Mare in the Mirror because I couldn't stand her anymore.)

2573011
Glad to hear it. I'm sorry it takes me so long to write these chapters, but at least there are only two left

2573353
Aww Well, rant away. I can't very well know if there's some way I could improve things, or help you like her better, if I don't know what might be wrong. I mean, I like the character, but I'm well aware that nothing is perfect. Fillystata was my very first story, and it's no doubt showing its age. MitM had lots of issues back when I wrote it, and Stitch too. If I went back and rewrote them now, I'd certainly make a lot of changes.

I actually liked Fillystata for what it's worth. And Midnight's role in Fillystrata.

Alright Midnight kept sounding off warning bells in MitM. By the end of Fillystrata all she was was an evil ancestor of Twilight's who used her magic to trick Twilight and slowly drain/posses her. If Twilight hadn't been so curious, or Trixie had intervened earlier, even if Zecora had called for backup from the rest of the Mane 6, things would have been different.

In MitM we learn that nope Twilight was doomed no matter what. She didn't actually have a choice as Midnight would have slowly driven her to taking those actions from beyond the grave.

Then their plan to defeat Midnight that the one pony had devoted their life to developing? Completely failed and Midnight got free as an alicorn instantly. Again it was Trixie having no chance to win despite being an alicorn, being forewarned, and only being distantly related to Midnight through Twilight's weird spell at the end of Fillystrata. Oh and this was after just a constant unrelenting of bad stuff happening to the protagonists.

But what made me just drop the story? Celestia instantly surrendering to Midnight, because Midnight threatened to freeze Equestria. For me this clinched it. Midnight always won without any struggle or effort, even when there was no logic behind it, simply because she was Midnight. By that point I could only see her as a pet character and the story as a vehicle to show off how powerful Midnight was. I couldn't see the rest of story as being anything but Midnight ruling over Equestria with an iron hoof of uber power while whatever remaining ponies like Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Celestia suffered tragedy after tragedy even when it comes out of no where and just seems to drive in the point that Midnight is the only pony who actually succeeds at anything in that story.

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Long post ahoy! But you should know me by now

Also may contain spoilers for all three stories.

It's more accurate to say that I like her because she succeeds; she doesn't succeed because I like her. But she does suffer setbacks and defeats, and if the story ever called for her humiliation and defeat, I would not hesitate to write that.

Beginning with Stitch, Midnight was never the best in school or the best at magic. We see this here, and she also admits it to Scootaloo in MitM. Midnight's only advantage is that she's utterly ruthless and driven to succeed at any cost, despite her shortcomings and setbacks. She probably had to steal Mandrake's research on the ashes of the dead to even get where she was later, so she can't even take credit for that.

She failed with Daffodil. Completely. She never got the kind of partner she seemed to want in Daffodil, and in MitM she expresses regret that she never got any of Daffodil's ashes. She lost every chance she ever had with Daffodil, her first love, and I think the regret of this really gnaws at her more than she lets on.

We know from Fillystata that she was killed late in her life, apparently by angry ponies of Dappleshore when they discovered her secret. Details are scarce, but she certainly didn't intend to die, having apparently gone to some lengths to extend her life to achieve her goals.

She lost at the end of Fillystata, although of course she turned that setback around to an advantage in MitM. She had some trouble getting the blood she needed and had to go all the way to Ponyville, which threatened to upset her plans with Twilight.

In MitM we learn that Manna, unlike Twilight, did manage to resist her (albeit by breaking her own horn, a rather drastic measure, and it doesn't seem to have been perfect in keeping Midnight out of her head.) In Fillystata, Midnight gives the impression that she was very annoyed by Manna's resistance.

And she does end up losing in MitM. NMM even mocks her by saying she wasn't fit to rule with an iron hoof and should have stuck with what she knew and was good at (manipulating rather than ruling.)

The tragedy of Midnight's success and achievements is that, like Twilight, she became blinded by Celestia from an early age and become obsessed with taking Celestia's place and exceeding her idol. But Midnight really wasn't cut out for ruling openly with an iron hoof, it's "not what her cutie mark is telling her," but because Midnight is extremely good at getting what she wants one way or the other, she ends up getting what she wants in the wrong way and therefore losing it. She gets all the way to the top, reaching her highest dream, only to lose it.

As for Celestia, she didn't give up, she made a tactical decision to submit. We see in the show that, after losing the Elements, Celestia's successes in direct confrontations have been zero. Her success comes not from confronting the enemy herself, but from directing and aiding other ponies to success.

It was enough of a concern at the end of Fillystata, that I had Luna say it explicitly at the beginning of MitM: Celestia isn't as powerful as her subjects like to imagine her, and in particular she is not a very strong combatant.

Celestia submitted to Midnight because she was alone and cornered, with nopony to turn to. Midnight had, at that point, corrupted and turned her entire guard against her, Luna and the others were nowhere to be found, and the Elements were "destroyed".

Celestia could have fought Midnight, but she would have suffered a humiliating defeat and achieved nothing. Instead she submitted in order to work her cards and strings behind the scenes (exactly what Midnight should have done, showing that Celestia was the wiser after all.) Celestia was instrumental in Midnight's eventual defeat, she was especially instrumental in helping Rainbow Dash succeed, and also protected Scootaloo (it's been a while, I can't quite remember Scootaloo's exact role at the end)

It's worth keeping in mind the inspiration for all this. Fillystata was basically a ponified "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" by Lovecraft, and Midnight ends up becoming more of a Lovecraftian horror than a more typical villain.

Joseph Curwen, the villain of TCoCDW, is perhaps my favorite villain in fiction, and Midnight was naturally based on him, since she played "his part" (they have differences, of course). She also drew inspiration from similar villains, like Irenicus from Baldur's Gate 2 (another favorite of mine), specifically in her sense and show of superiority.

Both Curwen and Irenicus are very superior villains throughout their respective stories. To the reader/player, they give the constant impression of being ten steps ahead at all times and basically irresistable. They will get it exactly their way until the very end, where they are of course defeated ... or at least Irenicus was, my memory of TCoCDW is hazy, I should probably read it again

Like Curwen, the thing about Midnight is that, so long as her bloodline persists, she is potentially immortal and could return. At the end of Fillystata her bloodline expanded to Trixie, and at the end of MitM it may have expanded even further. This is what makes her more of a Lovecraftian horror than a villain to be defeated and disposed of. You can fight her, she can suffer defeat and setback, but there's always the fear that it's only for a time.

It is possible that she could be defeated permanently, or stopped from taking over a descendant. I like to leave such options open, in case I ever write a sequel. It's been a long time since I read MitM, but I think I left some hints that she was in fact permanently destroyed.

If she did return (and she might not), I bet she would take note of her failure and this time work behind the scenes, manipulating events in her favor. This could potentially be an interesting story exploring the possibility of breaking her magical ties to her bloodline, or resisting her influence.

It's possible that, if Trixie, Luna or Twilight's friends had been aware of what was going on in Fillystata, they could have prevented her possession. There probably wasn't anything Twilight herself could have done, on her own, once a connection with her past was established, but (this being ponies and all) it would make sense that with the magic and strength of her friends she could resist or break the possession.

MitM did have issues, including perhaps a little too much suffering at times, dragging on too far. And I haven't always felt that I got Midnight (or other characters) right. I love my characters when I get them right, or when I learn something new about them. I think, compared to other characters, I've got Midnight right more often than not. I also keep learning something new about her and understanding her better. That's why I like her. I like her because she succeeds in being the character I have in mind, and succeeds in telling me new things about herself.

2580732

Eh I don't really want to quibble about it. Like you said MitM had it's other flaws which certainly contributed to my dislike of Midnight. I did not like how absolutely strong she was in MitM and from the sounds of it I'd likely despise that TCoCDW story as well. I mean it looks like it hits all of my hate buttons.

For the record those are;

1. Bloodline importance over actual character importance (the only reason said character is important is because they are related to BLANK)

2. Implied or outright stated lack of choice. (or implied inevitability or something like that.)

3. The villain seeming to win without effort (Midnight very much is guilty of this. Her possession seems to work regardless of power level, intelligence, or skill of the opposing pony. And it seems to happen without any input on her part.)

4.The heroes being unable (not unwilling) to use the same tactics back when they are the same species/have the same magic/ have the same power. (Again Midnight. Why couldn't they just turn the trick around and drain the magic from her? Or summon Twilight's spirit and allow Twilight to possess Trixie instead?)

And likely many more, but those are the relavent ones.

Also Midnight didn't fit these in Fillystrata.

1. It initially looked that the same could have happened if Twilight had summoned, oh I don't know, Clover the Clever. It was Twilight who chose to summon her ancestor because that's who she was interested in.

2. Again the whole story read like it was Twilight's choice. Her curiosity and obssessive personality got the better of her, but if she had asked for help much sooner then she did then she could have been saved.

3. Well we don't see too much of Midnight til the very end and the first thing we get is her failing to seduce Trixie.

4. Didn't show up at all in Fillystrata.

Incidently Irenicus from BG2 doesn't really meet these conditions. Okay there is 1. where Irenicus is only interested in your bloodline and how to steal it's soul power. However 2. isn't met as the player has plenty of choices as does Irenicus (who is only in this cursed state due to bad choices) 3. doesn't really apply either, as we can see a ton of his failures throughout the game. And 4. doesn't even apply. If you are an evil (or just ruthless) character, transforming into the Beast (which Irenicus does in the final fight) is a viable and useful tactic.

Err, I think I forgot what I was talking about. Anyways my problems with Midnight are pretty much just in MitM and I likely missed a ton of stuff that would have made it tolerable since I dropped it relatively early on.