A Long Journey Home

by VashTheStampede

Entries 118-132

Entry #118
Visiting Manehattan for the first time since I left, all the way back when I got here. Maybe I can see how Lock-n-Key is doing.

Entry #119
I have a vague recollection of 119 being something from human popular culture or something, but I can’t remember what. Anyway, Manehattan is nice. It feels sort of like downtown near where I used to live, since it's a major city center but there aren’t any truly massive buildings. There are “skyscrapers,” of sorts, but they’re pony scale skyscrapers – the buildings are still decently sized, but nowhere near the scale of things in the human world. Like in Cloudsdale, the ponies here aren’t actively friendly, but never reject or avoid conversation. I must admit, I… sampled the bakery’s goods. As per everything, the bagel (and the cookies…) was delicious. Sugarcube Corner is on a totally different tier, though. I did visit the jail again, to say hello to Lock-n-Key. He got a promotion in the months I’d been gone – he’s not just a jailer anymore, but the leader of local law enforcement. He said he attended my wedding, and I feel really bad that I didn’t see him. He’s got his own wife now, who’s pregnant with a son. Good for him. I’m glad the average pony has a completely normal life – that’s good. My life is anything but normal, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Entry #120
I’ve been studying under Luna and Celestia more, to get better at using magic. I’ve actually learned the wings spell now, which, though difficult to perform and maintain, is a lot of fun. I’ve also learned teleportation spells and transformation spells, which are fun to do as well. Teleporting isn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but if I do teleport constantly it does become draining. Transforming spells are a ton of fun to do to other ponies, especially when they aren’t expecting it. I wish I could convey the expression on my Royal Guards’ faces when I turned them into bears and back one day. Oh, that was priceless. Celestia tells me I should take magic more seriously, but she does seem to be holding back a smirk if I do something silly. I must say, I never really expected to be this competent with magic. It’s terribly convenient and terribly fun, but it’s also very dangerous. Celestia has told me stories of ponies that have passed out and even died from trying to perform too many or too complicated spells without resting, and of ponies who have accidentally unleashed more magic than they intended. For being the loving, benevolent ruler she is, Celestia is definitely capable of being scary.

Entry #121
I now know why my Guards looked so scared when I turned them into bears. I woke up this morning, looked around, and instead of seeing normal, peach-colored me and normal, night-sky colored Luna, I saw a massive, brown-haired bear and another lying next to me. Celestia is gonna get it for this…

Entry #122
Today’s the Summer Sun Celebration. I think this will be the perfect time to get revenge on Celestia.

Entry #123
I’d never really paid attention to it, but how Celestia looks when she’s raising the sun is almost as pretty as Luna raising the moon.

At any rate, I think I started a saying in Equestria today. “By Celestia’s Beard!” Oh lord the crowd’s reaction was hilarious. When Celestia rises up with the raising of the sun, her body appears temporarily completely shadowed against the bright, flaming orb behind her. At that moment, I cast a spell. A growth spell. A facial hair growth spell. When she came back down, the crowd just kind of stared for a minute then burst out laughing. Even the normally expressionless Royal Guards cracked a smile and chuckled. But that… that pink, green, and blue beard… oh wow, that was one of the greatest moments of my life. Of course Celestia knew immediately that it was me, but the normally white Alicorn princess was too embarrassed to properly retaliate. I am so screwed later, I know it, but that was worth it.

Entry #124
Ohgodi’msofluffy
Celestia thought a good way to get back at me would be taking what I did to her and putting it to extreme levels: covering my entire body with long, fluffy hair. All it did was make me look absurd and make me very happy. Luna’s been rubbing herself all over me; I feel like a frikken teddy bear. Except, like, an evil teddy bear that builds up static electricity then electrocutes anypony who touches me. Maybe that’s what Celestia was getting at. At any rate, this was kind of a weak retaliation. I think I’ll get rid of the fluff now.

Entry #125
Ok, this was a good retaliation. I can’t magic my fluffiness away. I tried to take it off and it just doubled the fluff (at which Luna collapsed in a fit of laughter, wheezing “The fuzz has been doubled”). I think it’s time to visit a hair stylist. To Rarity’s!

Entry #126
CELESTIA
Anything magic that touches my hair just doubles the length of it all. I look like friggin It from the Adams Family. I basically have to cut all the hair off with scissors and a razor. This will be obnoxious as hell…

Entry #127
Well then. Now that my skin is exposed again… I think I’ll stop messing with Celestia. Four days of fluffiness was good enough for me. Yeesh.

Entry #128
I visited Ponyville again today. Though I do live in Canterlot, I love spending time with Twilight and her friends in Ponyville. Two other ponies showed up while I was there, a couple of “Salesponies nonpareil.” Both tan with red and white manes, they identified themselves as Flim and Flam, but I never figured out which one was which. They were operating the closest thing to Steampunk I’ve ever seen in real life. Some massive machine they were calling the “Super Speedy Cider Squeezey 6000,” an outrageous contraption that produced cider at blistering speeds. They sang and danced and made cider, and got into a pretty heated debate with the Apple family on whether or not quality was better than quantity when it came to cider. The Apple Family’s cider was definitely better, even though the Flim Flam brothers managed to produce more of it in the same timespan. Eventually they left when they realized they’d messed up pretty badly. Pipsqueak still followed me around all day, peppering me with questions about how Luna was doing. And honestly, Luna’s been asking me how he’s been doing as well. So, I talked to his aunt and uncle. They said I could bring him on a trip to Canterlot for a few days. This should be a fun time.

Entry #129
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see Luna’s face light up like that again. When I walked in the door, and Pip (I’ve taken to calling him Pip instead of Pipsqueak. He’s small but there’s no need to remind him of that every few seconds) wound around my legs… I’ve never truly seen somepony make a :D face until now. Ear to ear beaming. She really does have a beautiful smile. They’ve been doing arts and crafts and eating candy for the last couple hours, a continuous stream of laughter coming from the other room. She’s normally happy, but this is different – Luna’s really happy. Oh, sun’s going down. Pip’s in for a show.

Entry #130
Haha, I was right. Pip’s jaw has been on the floor for the past ten minutes. He was clearly just as fascinated by the sight I get to watch every night. We put him to bed shortly afterward. Such a peaceful, happy expression on his face. Luna’s been shooting me little, sort of… begging glances, better put the journal down for a minute.

Entry #131
Easy as A, B, C… but… Luna likes Pip, a lot. And so do I. But… adopting him would be a huge step. I know we can’t have a child normally, but I’m still not sure if I’m ready to take on being a father. I mean, Pinkie could barely handle the Cake twins for a few hours (then again, they were newborns and neither are Earth Ponies…). When I was in the human world, a couple of my friends accidentally started families very young, and the strain of being a dad kind of wrecked their lives. I suppose the fact that he won’t be my biological son… that makes no sense. The only logical reason it could be any less unpleasant is the fact that Pip is more like a little boy, perhaps roughly equivalent to a first- or second-grade age human, than a newborn, so he won’t make as much noise as often. I think. At any rate, like I’ve said several times, what makes Luna happy makes me happy.

Entry #132
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… times like this I remember that I’m married to somepony who could blink me out of existence on a whim. Luna made the decision for me. At first she tried to plead with me (Luna has the world’s most effective set of puppy-dog eyes), but despite her adorable face, I had been holding firm on waiting a little longer. In a few days, it will all be finalized, the papers will go through, and Pip will officially be my son.

Comments

[The Drifting Bard]

[chavis54]

I AM VERY HAPPY!!!
and this was kinda cute cuz of pip
I kinda looked like this when I saw update
media.photobucket.com/image/happy%20heavy/karththemetroid/happyheavy.jpg

[Happy Thoughts]

Cool story! It was well worth the wait :) MOAR!!!

[Iceqake]

Glad your computer is working again, interesting turn the story has taken.