The Dialogues of Deadpool

by Darth Quadro

The Magic Show

The Magic Show
By Darth Quadro
Edited by: Darklordtheslayer
WARNING: Any likeness to actual people or event's is completely on purpose go complain to someone else
Viewer discretion is advised

[Son of Bitch!]
[Son of Bitch!]
"Son of a Bitch!" Deadpool cried.

"What is it?!" Twilight asked worriedly as she whirled around to find Deadpool clutching his foot.

"Stubbed my toe." Deadpool said, hopping on one foot while clutching the other.

"Oh." Twilight deadpanned. Pinkie was now copying Deadpool's pain dance and hopping around with him. Deadpool then stopped and stared at Pinkie. After noticing this, Pinkie herself stopped and stared back, now wearing a moustache. Deadpool shivered and then continued on with twilight.

"So let me get this straight, your deities are some jumbled up version of all three types of ponies and they also double as your eternal rulers of your country?" Deadpool inquired with genuine interest.
[DICTATOR FO LIFE ya’ll, that shit be ballin]
[Oh please stop, you’re embarrassing yourself]

"Um yeah, pretty much." Twilight replied.

"And not only that but these god rulers have the ability to control the movement of both the sun and moon because the laws of Gravity are all sorts of fucked up?" Deadpool continued.
[For the love of all that is holy, which apparently are the two sisters we are about to meet, it's not like she didn't just get through explaining this to you. Fuckin listen, man.]
[Huh, Thor don't seem to have shit on these goddesses. HA! Prick!]

"Laws of what now?" Twilight queried confusedly.

"That’s what I thought. Now tell me why exactly you and the Super Friends dragged me all the way to this city again. My memory tends to be a bit hazy after getting stabbed through the heart."
[And you’re Too Late!]
[You Give Love... A BAD NAME!]

Twilight looked away sheepishly. "I'm so sorry about that, I swear it was an accident."

"It’s fine, it happens to me more often than you'd believe, and I believe I asked for a recap. Also it's supposed to be shot through the heart."
[AND YOU’RE TOO--]
"No! None of that! Shame on you!"

".... Who are you talking to!?" Twilight questioned as everypony stopped and stared at deadpool..... And Deadpool was stared back.

"I love that Song!" Pinkie Pie squealed. Now everypony... and Deadpool was staring at her. Pinkie just flicked her eyes between them. "What? Bon Jovi rocks."
[Can....can she hear us?]
[I don't know dude but I'm scared, hold me and don't let go.]

Deadpool stuttered heavily and continued to stare at Pinkie. Everypony else just shrugged and just went with; it's just Pinkie Pie.

"So anyways, about why we're here." Twilight went on matter-of-factly, which snapped Deadpool out of his daze. "We brought you here so that we can go see the princesses and find out whether they might know of a way to send you back to your own world and if no--"

"Behold everypony, and feast your eyes on The Great and Powerful Trixie! Behold the most powerful magic ever witnessed by pony eyes as I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, challenge anypony brave enough to face me!" A blue and silver maned unicorn barked at a crowd. This magical mare was stood on her hind legs (presumably showing off), atop a raised wooden stage attached to a brightly coloured gypsy caravan with flamboyant decorations and sparkling fireworks going off around it.

At that point, Deadpool raised an eyebrow, as if he suddenly had a big idea.

"Hold that thought for a moment." Deadpool put a finger up to twilight in a signal to wait as he steadily walked over to the crowd.

"Ah, I see a freak within our midst. Have you strange creature come to bow before the glory that is I The Great and Powerful Trixie or do you plan to make a feeble attempt to try and best The Great and Powerful Trixie?!" Deadpool was now making his way on to the stage to stand before Trixie. "I see that you are both a freak and a fool if you think you could ever possibly best The Great and Powerfu--"

Deadpool then squatted down some to be at Trixie’s eye level. "Have you ever played Street Fighter?"

"What? How dare you interrupt The Great and Powerful-- BLRRPH!!!"

"SHORYUKEN!!!!!!!!!" Deadpool bellowed as he delivered a mighty Rising Dragon Uppercut to the chin of the unprepared Trixie, throwing her far backwards off the stage knocking her out cold. Everypony within earshot was now staring at or in the direction of Deadpool as he coolly walked back to the group escorting him to the castle. The entire block and then some was dead silent for a while. "Best that Bitch." Deadpool said to himself.
[You are now 20% more bad ass]
[Only 20%?]
[He took a penalty for hitting a girl even if she was a bitch]
[Magic... Mother fucker!]

"Fuckin Street performers always get on my nerves, ‘specially ones like that one back there. Well anyways what was that about the princesses? You left off at 'if not'."

"If not, then how to help you integrate into Equestrian society." Twilight said still flabbergasted and staring at the limp, unconscious body of Trixie laid out on the cobble stone.

"Okay, He's going to need some serious work." Rarity murmured to herself in quiet despair.

"That was..... Kind of awesome." Rainbow dash uttered whilst blinking repeatedly.

"Well daggum." Applejack gaped in surprise.

Big Macintosh simply glared at Deadpool. While he didn’t like Trixie himself, he would never condone hitting a lady… or a Trixie.

Fluttershy just whimpered as she tried to hide herself under her hooves.

"Personally I would have gone with a hadouken but that works too." Pinkie stated in an analytic way.

"Sir, you’re going to have to come with us." said one of the six guards now surrounding them.

"Shit." Twilight profaned under her breath.
[I heard that!]

-----Meanwhile at the Thrones of Canterlot-----

Celestia and Luna and a Night Guard were all standing around a scrying pool that Luna had summoned, observing the progress of the new arrival.

"Tia, how do you know we can trust this new creature, he seems...... twitchy at best and most unpredictable." Luna pleaded to her sister. Luna had long lost her old world dialect as she had been here for long enough to learn the modern language, however she did still sometimes slip back into her old dialect given the circumstances. "I mean he hasn't been in the city ten minutes and already he has assaulted one of our subjects."

Celestia gave Luna a reassuring look. "Lu-Lu, Come now, I know that I cannot trust him and that is exactly why I requested Twilight bring him here to us." Luna shot Celestia a confused look. "Let me explain. Canterlot is heavily guarded all around the city while Ponyville barely even has a police force, let alone guards so if anything were to go wrong, this would be the ideal place for it to happen. Just as well Twilight has made sure to completely disarm him before bringing him to Canterlot so he has no means to cause us any real harm anyways. I thought you of all ponies would realize this first, my warrior sister."

"It is not I that I worry for, dear sister." Luna sighed, giving a cursory glance to the Night Guard poised at attention right beside Luna. "Tia, you've seen what this creature is capable of. I do not believe that removing its weapons will make it completely harmless."

Celestia smiled warmly at Luna. "I have also seen the creature save a pony he had never met before under what most ponies would consider impossible odds even if his success was a bit 'ahem' overkill..."

"I wouldn't consider it impossible odds." Luna pouted. The night guard smirked a little and then returned to his stoic expression.

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Well Lu-Lu, not everypony is a living goddess like you now are they."

Luna giggled and then soon after Celestia, joined her soft laughter.

End

Author's Note:

Heres some extra information about this chapter in case you had questions or were just interested in knowing.

Okay for one yes Deadpool is the first human to ever come to Equestria and no this is not going unnoticed by the ponies of Canterlot. And wherever he walks he is the center of attention and not quite in a good way either a lot of scared and nervous looks are being shot his way. The story doesn't mention any of this because this has alway been the case for Deadpool even back in his old Universe. However, Deadpool chooses to take action on this anyways to make sure a riot doesnt ensue from the sudden appearance of alien creature so deadpool looks for whoever seems to be the most powerful and claim his rightful place

In regards to Trixie Lulamoon:
Don't worry she's not dead but he did give her a pretty bad concussion that's why she wasn't even twitching.
Also in case your apart of the Trixie Fan base fret not Trixie will come to no further harm in this series. I had to Shoryuken Trixie in the face as she reminded me too much of Kitty Pride in that one fateful moment. Even though i so do dislike trixies character as a whole in the show I will not beat on her anymore like i did when i originally wrote the scene.

In regards to Pinkie Pie:
Yes Deadpool is deathly scared of Pinkie Pie and no this is not Cupcakes Pinkimena this is regular Pinkie

Comments

[iNOSCOURGE]

I havent read it yet but i mean cmon...deadpool right?

[Darth Quadro]

2153739
Damn Straight bud Damn Straight

[iNOSCOURGE]

2154090
specially in the pony world that just adds more to how awesome he is speaking of its been a while since ive read more then clop...imma read this! :)

[iNOSCOURGE]

k i read it fucking awesome!It feels like you actually reading a deadpool comic that insaneness also a note for the authors note:i am a big fan of trixie but i mean if your gonna get upset about someone beating up a fave character then why read it and why listen to cuss words infact your reading deadpool someones gotta get shoryoken [sorry trixie ] [i just murdered that word] to the face i mean cmooooon :)

also lmfao

[Darth Quadro]

2160141
Im glad you enjoyed the story and yes I do read the Deadpool comics and if its one thing that i learned from them and MLP its funny when the character occasionally breaks the fourth wall but annoying when the writer breaks it so i make sure to keep that in check
if you read the comic where deadpool shoryukens Kitty Pride you'll notice some similarities in character personality at the time cuz Kitty hates Deadpool and was being a real bitch to him at the time even though shes usually one of the nicer characters so thats why i chose Trixie
and a heads up chapter three is gonna be out real soon and its also a whole hell of alot longer than the previous two also its a tad more serious as well

[Chad]

Where's the action!?
Deadpool needs to KILL SOMETHING ELSE!!!

[The Sorcerer Supreme]

YOU TOOK DEADPOOL'S GUNS?! HE IS GONNA BE PISSED!

[bendude10]

In a chapter make deadpool ty to escape with a grenade only to have it blow up in his face. Literaly