Sanatorium

by ocalhoun

For want of a bucket

Chapter One
For Want of a Bucket

Agent Z prodded the carrot slices around on her plate, the flimsy plastic spork in her magical grip not even clinking against it. Eight months had passed by since her failed mission to expose Celestia, and the thought of her failure still burned inside.

Worse was the punishment she received for her failure. She didn't get the thrill of the interrogator's harsh questioning. She didn't get a quick and gloriously honorable execution. She was stuck here: The Canterlot Institute For The Psychologically Disturbed. The fading floral print wallpaper, the dusty plastic decorative trees in the corner, the long grey tables, and even the cheerfully helpful staff all grated on her sense of purpose. This was not befitting of the highest-ranked spy in Equestria's most secret agency!

She glared around in suspicious disdain at what passed for the institute's cafeteria. Most of the patients had already finished their lunches, and had already left. Only a few ponies remained, besides the kitchen worker cleaning up. Most conspicuous of them – of course – was Golden Word. He was still standing at the head of a now-empty table, white wings spread wide, still preaching fire and brimstone to his long-gone audience. His lunch, neglected in favor of his imaginary parishioners, still sat untouched in front of him.

At the next table over was the elderly earth pony who called himself 'Silver Lance'. He, at least, was quiet. He just sat there, slowly finishing his lunch and making a grandiose show of savoring every morsel. The only other fellow patient in the room was Bluebeard. He often just sat and glowered in a corner... much as he was doing now, staring into the room and dribbling his twelfth cup of grape juice into his – frankly disgusting – beard, as if he was drowning out some kind of sorrow.

None of the ponies here knew her secret identity of course. None of them could be trusted to save a spot in the pharmacy line – The most sensitive secrets of Equestria could never be safe with the likes of them. She used her 'Slick' alias here, and that was the only name anypony here would know her by. She missed having trusted accomplices to talk to, of course, but she was not about to blow her cover just for a little case of loneliness.

Agent Z sighed and propped her head up on her hoof, idly scanning the room yet again: years of academy training couldn't be forgotten easily. The kitchen pony was heading for the reinforced back door now, softly whistling some happy little tune, her mane swaying back and forth, bucket in her mouth, and a set of keys held aloft with her magic. Set of keys! Though she didn't move at all, Agent Z brought herself up to full alert. This could be it! As she watched, barely daring to believe what she was seeing, the kitchen pony stepped up to the facility's back door, unlocked it, propped it open, and stepped out, still carrying the sloshing bucket.

Even her extensive training couldn't hide her reaction to something like that! Her eyes widened, and she glanced quickly around the at the other patients in the room. They glanced at her. Everypony glanced back to the door. Everypony glanced back at each other...

Without a word, without a sound, all four ponies rushed out through the door.

Agent Z blinked in the bright sunlight, getting her first taste of freedom in months... only to find herself face-to-face with her foe, the kitchen pony. The bucket dropped as the pony opened her mouth in shock, splashing mop water all over Agent Z. It was a quick-thinking move, trying to slow Agent Z down like that. This pony would not be easy to escape. Master spy that she was, though, she didn't let that wet surprise slow her down in the slightest. She kicked the bucket into the other unicorn's legs – sure to trip her up – and took off galloping away.

The other three ponies weren't far behind. Good. They would provide great distractions for her pursuers. Agent Z risked a glanced backward. Excellent. The cleaning pony was satisfyingly far behind, and no other pursuit was visible yet.

She wove her way through the elite crowd in Canterlot's streets, zipping through with consummate skill. Spotting an opportunity, she took a quick moment to topple a vendor's cart into the narrow street, giving her pursuers an obstacle.

A distraught cry of “My Cabbages!” and the sound of ponies tripping to the ground behind her let her know that her ploy had been successful.

She skidded around a tight corner, her intimate knowledge of Canterlot's back streets letting her know exactly where to go. To her surprise, all three of the other escaped patients were still with her... and to her great satisfaction, the pursuing kitchen pony was not.

Agent Z felt herself tiring from the chase, but she knew that her destination was close now, and she knew her pursuers were far behind. What more could a spy ask for? Her lungs burned from the exertion, but the Canterlot airship docks were already coming into view.

She slid to a halt in front of the nearest airship: a large, but sleek one, with a raised upper deck and with blue-green decoration. It would suffice. She began sizing up its captain, a pale yellow pegasus mare, figuring out what kind of deception she would need in order to commandeer the ship.

Before she could even begin, though, the bearded pony from the institute appeared, squarely in between her and the ship's captain. “Aye! Now this be to my liking!” he said. He shouted up to the ship, “Avast! We be taking your ship now!”

“Oh good!” The ship's captain perked up and smiled brightly. “It's been much too long since I've had a charter! How long are you planning to be out?”

“We be out for as long as we need; never ye mind, ye scalawag! Prepare yeself to be–”

“There! Stop!” The bearded pony's speech was cut short by a shout from the crowd. Agent Z instantly recognized her opponent, the kitchen pony from the institute... and apparently so did the other escaped patients. Indeed this pony was a challenge to escape... but luckily, Agent Z's plan was already in motion.

“No time!” Bluebeard shouted as he rushed up the gangplank, “We be casting off now!” As Agent Z set foot on the meticulously polished deck, she saw that blue-bearded pegasus didn't waste time. He had already unfastened the lines tying the airship to the dock, and the ship was already beginning to drift free in the breeze. The other two escaped patients were barely able to get on board before the gangplank fell away, down off of the sheer mountain face the dock overhung.

With giddy satisfaction, Agent Z watched over the ship's polished railing as the kitchen pony and the rest of Canterlot slowly receded into the distance. This was it! She had finally made it out, and now her mission could finally be salvaged. This was a good day!

* * *

Comments

[nemryn]

Poor Cabbage Pony! Maybe she should team up with Mouth-Frothing Twilight Sparkle Fanfilly.

[Iridescence T Wind]

“My Cabbages!”, I know somewhere in another universe a certain cabbage seller is sneezing Awesome have a Fluttershy.