Luke, I am your fa-PSYCH!
I took off, carried away by my hatred. Do not ask how it worked, I simply managed to fly off moments after Celestia had healed me.
I flew faster than I did before, which was a foolish mistake. Landing would be terrible again, but my heart was burning too strongly for me to slow down. I had to make him pay. If the only way I could do that would be to insult him, then it would be my course of action.
Ponyville was very close to the crater where Celestia rested, so the flight took about three minutes four seconds.
The streets of Ponyville were void of any pony. They were completely deserted. I supposed the fight with Celestia pretty much made the citizens of this place run away, wisely following Pinkie Pie’s lead.
Still, that did not answer my question. Where was Discord? I knew he was here, I could feel it in my guts! The monster had to be in here because he’d never allow the Mane Six alone before securing his power over Equestria.
For experiencing his fate, I could understand why too.
Oh, don’t be mistaken. I had no sympathy for him. In fact, it only made my hatred grow. I wished for him that fate, countless times, with perhaps the slightest intervals of freedom just so he could keep tasting defeat, over and over. Only when he’d be but a broken, sad, begging mess would I ever consider offering him anything less than pure hatred.
“-so serious, Twilight Sparkle!” A peculiar voice reached my ears.
HIM!
I dropped down to the ground, crashing into a roof. Paralyzed by my rage, I had not been able to take it standing. These new eruptions of pain could not stop me though.
Seething, I untangled myself from the tiles I had crashed into, keeping my rage intact with the sound of the draconequus’ voice.
“Why, yes, of course I faced Celestia in battle. What did you expect from me? Flowers?” His tone was nonchalant (DIE!) and I could imagine him shrugging off accusations like this.
After some trouble, I jumped down to the ground, in a small alley between two houses. From this place, I could make out their every word.
“Prepare yourself for a long time on your pedestal, Discord, because we’re sending you back there, pronto!” The voice was rash and held some touches of arrogance.
Rainbow Dash.
“Oh don’t make me laugh, my little traitor.” Ouch… “Even with your precious elements, this will not be easy.” The scrambling noise that followed was assuredly one of her friends trying to hold her back.
“So you’re tellin’ us you don’t feel the slightest bit tired after facing not only Princess Celestia, but also Princess Luna, Princess Cadence and Twi’s brother?” Thick southern accent, no bonus for finding out who that was. “You think we’ll buy that, Discord? Sounds like Ah'm not the only bad liar here.”
At that, the draconequus chuckled, making me grind my teeth in anger. My legs pushed me forward, toward a corner where their voice seemed stronger. True to my expectations, a couple of meters away were both the Mane Six and Discord. Whereas the bastard was sitting calmly at a café’s table, fiddling with a napkin, his opponents were standing strong, their respective elements worn around their neck.
“I would never dream of such a thing, Dishonest Applejack.” The orange pony leaped forward, only to be held back by Pinkie. The baker had used her great reflexes to bite her friend’s tail just in time.
Discord seemed imperturbable. “I simply have an ace up my sleeve.”
With that, he snapped his claws together and I felt his magic surrounding me!
Batting my limbs uselessly, I saw the tiles on the ground shrink and a somewhat familiar sense of weightlessness returned. Struggling harder, I flapped my wings, hoping to fight off his grip on me, without success.
My stomach seemed left behind, as a sudden and violent pull reached my guts. The next instant, my surrounding turned into a messy blur, my breath cut short by the movement.
For a brief moment, I saw the sky, the ground, the sky, the ground, the sky, still so blue – taint it re- for FREAK’S SAKE! –, but my observation was stopped when I crashed into the path again and my eyes were closed forcefully from the shock.
Disoriented, I slowly opened my eyes, greeted by the sight of six beautiful mares eying me. Normally, I’d be happy, unrealistically so, because those were the six ponies any and all bronies would love to meet someday.
I had heard of the expression “crash into hello”, but that wasn’t what had come to mind back then.
Dizziness abound, I could not stand quite yet.
Not that everypony had the intention of waiting for me to.
“Ah! We’re supposed to be afraid of THAT?” Rainbow Dash pointed her hooves at me with derision, clearly not impressed.
See? This was the kind of things that do not happen the way I imagined them to beforehand. My fantasies of meeting with Rainbow Dash involved sonic rainbooms and loud cheering, the latter being brought by yours truly. Being looked down? Not so much.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Rainbow Dash.” Discord waved his claw at her, mocking her. “I know he might not look the part, but I have complete confidence in him.”
Brain fart.
“What?” I muttered, my voice making Fluttershy flinch in the background.
“Come on, junior. I know you’re ready for this.” The draconequus waved his arms, sounding quite confident that I was somehow his ally.
Oh dear, I was about to start laughing. The gals will all think I’m crazy!
“Whoever that is, Discord, it won’t be enough to stop us! We have the Elements of Harmony on our side!” Twilight stepped forward, determination shining in her eyes.
“’Whoever that is’?” He quoted, eyes widening with the realization. “AH! Silly me, I forgot the introductions! How rude! Allow me to present you Honest Havoc!”
“Hi!” Pinkie greeted me very cheerfully, hopping to the spot I was lying on. “I’m Pinkie Pie and this i-”
“PINKIIIIE!” Her friends growled a warning, which the pink pony took sheepishly. With one big jump, she was back at her friend’s side.
“Alright, now that the presentations are done, can we get back to what’s important here?” Applejack asked, earning nods of approbation from the rest of us.
“Yeah, I’d like to know why I’m suddenly called Honest Havoc.” I glared at Discord, not appreciating the amused look on his face.
“Oh, you silly boy, don’t you know that a pony’s parents are the ones that choose their foal’s name?”
My blood turned to ice.
Oh dear… this would not end well.
“WHAAAAAAAAAT?!” The girls all screeched, with the exception of Fluttershy, who just let out a meek little noise, and Pinkie, who seemed to take it all in strides.
“That’s right. This slightly dim-witted boy is my son.” Discord nodded. “He gets that from his mother.” He added that in a whisper.
Okay, my brain just caught up with what’s he saying.
No.
Plain, good ol’ NO!
I might not remember my mother’s name or my father’s face, but… Oh God I forgot what Dad’s face is like!
Stunned, I froze completely, still as a statue. The others were eying me curiously or warily, but that barely registered in my mind. I was drawing a blank. His figure was there, his voice could ring to my ears, but I could not remember his face!
Snap.
“Listen to me…” I snickered. “I can’t even deny it!” This sent me hollering with laugher.
This was just so damn funny. Here I wanted to tell them he wasn’t my father when I couldn’t picture who my father is!
“Err… yes, of course.” Discord seemed puzzled, perhaps expecting me to fight him more than that on the issue. To further reinforce this idea, he took out what seemed to be a script and read it with a frown on his face.
Hitting the ground with my hooves repeatedly, I just continued laughing. I could not stop. Why was this funny? Why did I find this so darn absurd?
“What’s wrong, Daddy?!” I shrieked, rolling on the floor, still laughing. My head was already starting to feel light from a lack of oxygen and I could not stop anytime soon. My ribs hurt.
“What… is going on here?” Rarity asked, turning to her friends with a very puzzled look.
“Seems to me like Discord’s raised another nutjob!” Her brash pal replied, prepared to jump in on the fray.
“HEY!” Both fake father and I shouted simultaneously.
We stopped, and exchanged a pained grimace. I was the first to elaborate though.
“What? With a daddy dearest like him, you expected me to be sane as a brick?”
“Sounds accurate to me,” Applejack deadpanned.
I giggled.
“Okaaaaay…” Twilight frowned. “This has definitely gone way over the line of creepy, especially the voice. I think I can hear a dying pony in there.”
Heart light, I jumped to my hooves, shaking my head with the same laugher that wouldn’t leave me.
“There is!” I yelled, grinning like a savage beast. “Isn’t that right, Daddy?!”
Discord was still staring. I pouted.
“Come oooooon,” I protested, whining like a little foal and sounding like one. A filly to be exact. “Carry me in your arms.”
Eagerly, I pushed on my legs, jumping and fending the airs to land in the draconequus’ open arms. Ignoring the monstrous nausea that attacked me by being into his general proximity, I snuggled up to his fluffy neck.
“Tell them the story, Daddy dearest.” I asked, eyes closed and breathing peacefully.
“Which one would that be?” Discord sounded a bit overwhelmed by this turn of event.
Sounds like someone’s plan worked a little too well to me. My lips twitched upward at the thought. Oh, this was good.
“You know, how I came to be.” I explained, feeling something other than contempt grow within me. “Like how you had me on the chopping block! Or… or the one time I almost got sucked in a black hole because of you!”
My cheery tone hid nothing of my rage now. My eyes split open, I could make out the traumatized look on the gals’ faces.
Oh, I was just getting started.
“Tell them all about the time you left me stranded in the middle of nowhere and I had to walk my way back to civilization all alone!” There was no mistaking the growing resentment held in my words. Heck, even I couldn’t feel joyous about this. “Tell them about the griffon that tried to eat me! TELL THEM ALL ABOUT IT!”
Burning with anger, I did the first thing that came to me.
I heard the Mane Six gasp and squeak in shock when my fangs sank into the fur of his neck. Blood flowed like a river onto my face, waking up an instinctive desire to eat! Greedily, I put even more force into my jaw, snapping it shut.
Discord’s head rolled on the ground.
I fell with the rest of his body.
Landing with a dull thud, I scrambled up to my feet, licking the air with my lizard-like tongue. The smell of blood permeated the air, just as it had soaked my fur.
I liked it.
This was fun too.
“A-ah don’t think we need t-to… seal… Discord anymore…”Applejack’s horrified voice got a few mechanical nods from her friends.
Glancing at them, I saw that it was indeed possible for ponies to blanch. Their eyes were wide, but their pupils had shrunk down to tiny dots. Of them all, Fluttershy seemed the most likely to faint, leaning on Pinkie Pie for some strength. Not that the pink pony fared much better. Her mane had deflated at the sight.
“Bravo, Havoc!” Discord yelled, his body clapping his paws sarcastically. “You’ve crushed their spirits so easily!”
Oh for the love of crap…
Light blinded me for a brief moment. The next, Discord was back in shape, if you could call juggling with your head anything but weird cartoon horror.
“If I had known pretending to die would shock them out so badly, I would have done it a lot sooner.” He laughed. “Oh, dear boy, you truly have a talent for killing.”
I snorted.
My body twitched, all over the place. His last remark just rang too close to the truth to allow me to ignore it. Ten pony lives made themselves known to me, mocking with their vitality and infuriating in their alluded peace.
As I often did now that I was completely bunker, I started laughing again, this time with truly frightening intensity. A dozen hyenas would have sounded heavenly in comparison.
“Oh yes! Those guys! I completely forgot!” I threw myself at the wall for support, legs weak because of my hilarity. “You should have seen the look on my face when I realized what had been happening!”
Finally unable to resist any longer, Pinkie joined in on the laugher. Bouncing up and down with a smile on her face, she approached me.
“Oh silly,” she said. “Laughing at yourself is good, but laughing at others is bad. Sounds like some big meanie pants did not teach you all wrong.”
“Yo-you really think so?” I looked at her with big wide tearful eyes.
“Of course!” She nodded.
“That’s the kindest thing anypony ever told me!” I declared, taking her hooves and smiling. “I was so afraid you’d think I was a super freak because I find the idea of a little filly dying hilarious instead of sad.”
The pink pony instantly stopped bouncing around. She even narrowed her eyes at me.
“That’s not funny at all.” Her tone was very subdued, very unlike her natural self.
“It isn’t?” I tilted my head, confused. I wanted to laugh at it… it was so much better than crying…
“Nu-uh! That’s like supreme Oreo on a scale of one to biscuit!” Pinkie threw her hooves, and consequently mine, in the air. “Only big meany pants like Discord do that! And he made chocolate rain without a. Single. DOLLOP!”
Oh my God… she was right! And I didn’t want to be associated with that!
The realization horrified me. My jaw dropped.
“Celestia damn it,” Rainbow Dash grunted. “Pinkie and that guy connected…”
True as that was, I couldn’t ignore the mind-blowing reveal Pinkie had given me.
“IT’S TRUUUUUUUUUUE!” I wailed, which sounded like a dozen demons being tortured. Leaning against Pinkie’s shoulder, I let the tears flow wildly. “SHE WAS SO YOUU-UUUUU-U-U-UNG!”
“Oh make him stop!” Twilight yelled, covering her ears with her hooves.
“That guy is crazy!” Rainbow Dash growled, not appreciating the cacophony.
“There, there,” Pinkie whispered as she patted my back. “Would you like a cupcake?”
I sniffled. “Yes, please.”
“Here you go.” She turned around briefly, seemingly searching for something before turning back and presenting a purple and blue cupcake. “My favorite.”
Grateful, I took a bite out of it. Its flavors exploded in my mouth, subtle nuances that balanced the extreme sweetness of the dessert without making it heavy.
Overwhelmed by the deliciousness, my legs gave out under me, having me roll on my back, tongue pending out of my mouth. I was in a daze, eyes foggy and blurry with this ecstasy that was Pinkie Pie’s cooking.
A content, goofy grin on my lips, I looked over the remaining mares, who seemed to wish to get this encounter out of their collective minds.
“Where’s Discord?”
Everypony present looked around, but the draconequus was nowhere to be seen. Rapidly, the glares turned to me. In those was a promise for a painful fate that made me sweat.
“Hehe… he got away.” I gave a small nervous chuckle, avoiding their gaze. “My bad?”
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This story is excellent. Have this:
Can you say gang rape?
Muh-muh-muhhhhhh
2056050 Thank you, good sir
! Here's something in return: 
2056555 I can say it, I just won't.
2057001 DRAMATIC THUNDER! *cue the background music!* Why is there no Luna emotes?!
Soooo has this newly named Havoc forgotten about Celestia lying in a crater or is she just going to be there for a while?
Also, Havoc connecting with Pinkie? BRILLIANT! I guess it takes going insane to understand Pinkie Pie logic.
2060349 Weeeelll...... it's not that he means to... BUT... short attention span? And loose God of Chaos on the run? She's SO going to lie in that crater for a while...
Honest Havoc sure is at the level Pinkie makes perfect sense to him all the time now. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.
2060545
I know that Havoc didn't have time to mention it this chapter, but next chapter would be kind of odd without mentioning Celestia seeing as Twilight and Havoc both know Celestia fought with Discord. Just would be a loose end to have Celestia's status as: in crater and then suddenly have her coming back without having/a hastily explained explanation of why she's better. Just seen things like that done before and wanted to make sure it's addressed next chapter.
Just a suggestion
That was absolutely hilarious.
No. I hate cupcakes. A pie on the other hand... (eat your heart out, RD!!!)