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Revival759 words
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Out of Place829 words
Work Place Wandering1,028 words

Revival

Once upon a time in the wonderful world of equestria…

Everyone died.

No wait, crap, that’s a different story. Give me a second, I forgot my notes.

Alright, let’s see…

MLP X MtG chapter two…

Tinder for the fire titled ‘Swoon (5)’...

Ah here we go, wonder who shoved it into the pocket of my winter coat…

And the bottom half is entirely burnt off. Huh, weird.

Ahem.

“But I love you John!”

“I love you too Berry, but it doesn’t amount to a hill of strawberries in this crazy world of ours.”

The human relaxed as he watched the strange soap opera about a plumber and a gardener. He, after all, didn’t have anything better to do at the moment. Didn’t have any, you know, outstanding debts to the ponies he was mooching off of. Besides, what was he gonna do? He didn’t even have a black and red color scheme, completely useless human.

He heard the soft clippity clop of hooves coming down the stairs then, and his attention shifted to the realization that he didn’t actually think that was the correct noise that hooves would make, especially small hooves. He honestly expected it to be closer to a clicking noise, but then, what did he know about horse feet acoustics? I mean, sometimes if he walked barefoot his foot made a farting noise.

“Oh John, I can’t!”

“Berry, you have to!”

“But I'm so scared.”

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

Slowly, John Doe’s head turned to look at the screen, having been momentarily distracted by the approaching noise of his landlord. Normally he would have tried to think up an excuse for why he wasn’t doing any of the multitude of things he had promised he would do, but right now his thought process was being attracted to the conundrum involving the fact that the Soap Opera seemed to revolve only around setting up strange one liner references to other films.

He had very little time to truly delve into this extremely important question before the Berry punched him.

Well, knocked him across the back of the head with her hoof. Like, Denozo or Gibbs. “Why the heck are you watching crappy two bit soap operas this early in the morning?”

“Because I certainly can’t watch them later in the afternoon, they’re not on then.” He got hit again for that one. Poor fool musta thought he was the narrator, that’s the only way he coulda gotten away with that one.

“You know very well what I meant.” Berry said through gritted teeth. As in, she had grit IN her teeth.

“Uh…” John replied, his entire level of attention stuck on the fact that she had grit in her teeth. “Why do you look like you ate sand for breakfast?”

“Because I did.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said because I did.”

“You… did…”

“Yes.”

“Riiiighhhtt…” John’s eyes began to analyze the pony, looking for any other signs of insanity. She, however, managed to look quite sane despite the odd debris in her teeth. For now anyway. He reached slowly to the table that stood right next to his seat, as if afraid he would anger her and his blood would join the sand in it’s cozy little alcoves. “You gonna explain that or…” Her answer was a dark glare, and John decided not to pursue that line of questioning.

Carefully he lifted the cup next to his chair and passed it to her, Berry recognized it as one of the plastic cups from her cupboards. Cups that were very much different from the cups that were in her oven mind you, and Berry owned the house so she could tell them apart easily. A dark swirling mix of berries sloshed around inside of it, and Berry reflected deeply and philosophically on the fact that it looked like her berry farm had vomited.

“What’s this?” Berry ~~asked~~ ~~questioned~~ pondered aloud.

“It’s a smooooooothie.” As he drug the word out like a bad dog to be paddled he slid into his seat.

“A smooooooothie?” She said, lifting the container to her lips.

“No you forgot an ‘o’. There’s eight o’s. Smoooooooothie.”

Berry took a drink from the cup and found herself stumbling to a nearby chair where she began to slid into a comfortable position as well. “Oh.” She remarked, her voice bobbing in and out like a pony with a concussion.. “A smoooooooothie.”

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