Are You Ready?

by Dirty Bit

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Two birds, One stone.

Dr. Facilier was trotting in a meadow on a beautiful day to take in his surroundings and begin searching for some ingredients for potions he felt like making. He smiled upon the meadow's grandeur, inhaling a beautiful scent of nature's air, and crushed a flower he deemed useless as he roamed. As his trip went further, he noticed a table and chair in the distance, wondering who would leave out such furniture in a place like this.

When he reached it, he couldn't believe his eyes as he stumbled upon a deck of tarot cards, all face down, and gave into the temptation of sitting down and shuffling the cards with his magic. He missed reading fortunes, making and breaking whoever decided to want their palm read when he was a human, and felt compelled to flip the first card he drew to his eyes. What could it be? The Magician? The Heirophant? The Star perhaps? He gasped in shock as he gazed upon what was on the card.

...It was a frog...

Who had the audacity to pull a trick like this on the Shadowcolt, having a frog on one of his beloved tarot cards? Dismissing the thought since no one was around, he placed the card on the table face-up as he flipped and looked at another one. He couldn't believe his eyes as he noticed the same exact card as before in front of him. Beginning to get annoyed, he placed the second card next to the first one, face-up and continued looking at the rest of the cards at a breakneck pace, all showing the same exact card. Every. Single. Time. He yelled as he slammed the last card on the grass, and went to go stomp on it until he heard a voice

'Dr. Facilieeeeer~...'

He halted his movement as he looked around in confusion, wondering where the voice came from, but saw nothing but the open meadow in front of him. He looked to the sky and wonder if a pegasus tried to play a prank, but then heard the voice again.

'Dr. Facilieeeeer~!'

He looked down, hearing the voice below him, and gasped as he took some steps back in surprise to see the frog on the card emerge from it as if it were a picture coming to life. After it made its way out, it looked up at the Shadowcolt with glowing red eyes and grinned at him 'Are you READY, Dr. Facilieeeeer~?' He spoke in a creepy sing-song tone as he made Dr. Facilier flinch at the question. He then noticed the sky above began growing darker as more clouds began roaming in. He saw the frog hop towards him as he took another step back 'We're waiting for you, Dr. Facilieeeeer~...' He spoke the Shadowcolt's name in a spine-chilling whisper as he turned to see the cards he drew sprout more red-eyed frogs that grinned at him and repeated his name in broken unison over and over as they began hopping towards him. Dr. Facilier gave a fearful shriek as he jumped back and began to light up his horn.

"Y-Y'all stay back and run while ya can!
Ya can't beat me! I'm the damn Shadowman!!"

He heard thunder and lighting over his head as he noticed it began to rain. But instead of raindrops, it rained the same grinning frogs over and over, and began piling up the once-pristine meadow and mucking it up with their mucus. They began to group in numbers as they hopped to his legs, slowly rising up as they reached his knees. His eyes widened as he tried shaking them off "No! NO!" he was successful, most of the time, but they kept coming back with more numbers. There was only his head as he saw nothing but a flowing river of frogs saying his name and 'Are you ready?' Making him yell and shriek. Before he was about to sink, he noticed a pink frog with glowing blue eyes and a grin speak with a familiar voice "Isn't this fun!? I'm in your dreams!" Seeing enough, he gave out one last scream as he sunk in the sea of frogs, nothing seen of him as a thunderclap was heard, followed by lighting.

He gave a shriek as woke up and found himself on the couch in a cold sweat. The Shadowcolt hyperventilated and looked around to see no sign of frogs, especially the peculiar pink one he last saw in his dreams, giving off a sigh of relief. There was fast hoofsteps as Fluttershy galloped down from her stairs and stopped at Dr. Facilier's side "Dr. Facilier! Is there something wrong!? D-Did you have a nightmare!?" He looked away from her to face a window and see Celestia's sun reach over the hills, and took a deep breath as he collected himself and spoke to the worried mare in front of him.

"Yeah, a nightmare broke loose in my head...
No more jasmine tea before bed."

Fluttershy nodded to the doctor "O-Okay...Well, seeing as how we're both up, I'll get breakfast ready. You should probably clean yourself up...I-I mean...you don't have to rush or anything..." She trotted into the kitchen, leaving the shellshocked Shadowcolt to calm himself down as he rose from the couch. His shadow showed a crooked frown of concern as it watched its master wipe some of the sweat off his brow as he made for the bathroom and followed after him. Dr. Facilier took a small bath as he cleaned himself of the cold sweat he felt from that horrible nightmare, and gave a relaxed sigh at how the warm water felt on his body. He was able to collect his thoughts and remember the new plans he had on today's agenda: 1. Collect ingredients for potions 2. Look for a possible job since he cannot borrow from Fluttershy himself. 3. Make that zebra mare regret the day she decided to piss him off. He got out of the tub and dried himself off as he put on his suit and hat, grinning at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"What is this? Oh my, oh my...
Who is that good lookin' guy?"

He admired himself for a short time as he then noticed an angry Angel with his paws crossed and tapping his foot impatiently. The Shadowcolt glared with a look that said 'What do you want?', only to be met with a paw pointing to the kitchen. He must mean that Fluttershy was done preparing breakfast and needed to make his appearance at the table. He scoffed as he trotted past the rabbit and made his way into the kitchen, seeing Fluttershy sit with two plates of assorted berries and more juice in a box.

As Dr. Facilier sat down and ate the berries, he tried not to look at Fluttershy sipping her juice again, thinking that his heart might do more than twitch like last time. The berries were delicious, and he felt he was given more energy just from that one plate. He then talked to Fluttershy to explain some business.

"Fluttershy, I really need to ask
if I can borrow some money for a certain task.
I wanna try my hoof at potion making
and make up for all the lost time I'm taking."

Fluttershy tilted her head at the Shadowcolt, but then remembered his cutie mark and smiled at his thought "You want to look for ingredients? Well, sure! I can help you..." She looked away, faintly blushing "I-If you wouldn't mind me helping you, that is..." Dr Facilier rubbed a hoof under his chin, contemplating on whether or not he would want to have company when furthering his plans. On one hoof, he would rather go by himself and collect his desired items on his own without being hindered by anypony by his side. On the other hoof, he could use her as a shield for anypony wanting to approach him, namely her friends. He felt compelled with the latter opinion on account of him handling traveling on his own in town for so long, and grinned at Fluttershy.

"I could use some help in my little quest.
Thank ya kindly, Fluttershy. Y'all are the best!"

Fluttershy flinched and hid her face behind her mane as she was as red as Big Macintosh, never thinking she would get this much praise from her guest. She then trotted to pick up her saddlebag that the doctor used the other day, and pulled out a spare for him just in case they couldn't carry all they wanted. Dr. Facilier was more than confident about his search, and got ready to travel with the timid mare as they made their way out the door.

The odd couple made their way into Ponyville for their first batch of items, and a trio of ponies happened to be the ones for them to see. Dr. Facilier and Fluttershy meet up with Daisy, Lily, and Roseluck, all of which said hi to Fluttershy, only to turn to see her with the Shadowcolt with their jaws dropped. While he was purchasing the flowers needed for some of his potions, the group of mares bombarded Fluttershy with questions as to what activities she and the doctor do together. He rolled his eyes, expecting a group of women to be lost in conversation involving gossip, but cut into the curious chatter as he stood in front of the timid mare and looked charming to the trio.

"We'd love to speak, that much is true,
But we have ourselves a job to do..."

He gently scooted Fluttershy, who began walking with him as they made their way to their next destination after waving goodbye to the curious flower ponies. Dr. Facilier looked around to see if he could find more useful items, but was then tackled by a certain pink mare, who looked down at him with a fierce glare "What do you think you're doing, you big meanie pants!?" The dumbfounded doctor could only look back up, seeing an angry Pinkie Pie and a disoriented Fluttershy. He wondered why this one would decide to ambush him now of all times, and asked her with confusion on his tone.

"Pinkie Pie, what the hay is wrong?
Can't ya see we're jus' trottin' along?"

Pinkie pressed her muzzle to his as she kept her glare "Don't play dumb with me! I know what you're up to, and you can't do something like that to anypony just because they don't like you!" He was still confused at her random display of anger, let alone the fact he was just tackled by the most random pony he met in Equestria, and struggled to get her off. She kept the Shadowcolt pinned on the ground as he struggled, and Fluttershy felt scared at this "Pinkie! Wh-What did Dr. Facilier do to make you so mad?" This caused the pink pony to turn to Fluttershy with a serious expression on her face "Sorry, Fluttershy! No spoilers! I'm only convincing this meanie to stop what he's doing!" Fluttershy tilted her head when she mentioned spoilers. Spoiling what exactly? Pinkie turned back to the bemused doctor and glared "Dr. Fa-silly-a! You WILL stop what I think you're going to do! Or what you know what you're doing, but I also know what you're doing! Or what the readers think you're doing!" He heard enough. This mare was giving him a headache and he had work to do. Dr. Facilier sighed and humored Pinkie with a calm response.

"Whatever it was, it can't be right.
I'll be sure to stop and see the light..."

Pinkie narrowed her eyes "Don't just say it! SWEAR it! Pinkie Pie swear it!" This made the Shadowcolt stare at her in exasparation '...What?'. Pinkie got off and let the doctor get up as she held out a hoof in command "Like this! Repeat after me!" She performed a series of childish gestures while saying "Cross my heart and hope to fly! Stick a cupcake in my eye!" She said as she stuck a hoof in her eye with the last line, making the doctor take a step back and wanting to decline. Fluttershy trotted to his side and looked at him with pleading eyes "Y-You should do what she says...You should NEVER turn down a Pinkie promise..." Knowing Fluttershy's connection with Pinkie as a friend, he couldn't doubt her advice as he reluctantly acted out the method he witnessed with a grimace on his face.

"Cross my heart an' hope to fly.
Stick a cupcake in my eye."

He did the last part in the form of an amateur facehoof, disappointed with himself for doing something so stupid, but noticed Pinkie's glare left in a flash as she had the same bubbly smile on her face "Good! See ya later, Dr. Fa-silly-a!" She hopped away as if their little episode never happened. Fluttershy turned to the doctor with curiousity as she asked 'What do you think she meant by doing what you know you're doing to do and what she also knows what you're doing?" The Shadowcolt groaned and hung his head down, shaking it with displeasure towards his encounter with Pinkie.

"I dunno at all. That mare is crazy.
But one thing's for certain, she isn't lazy..."

Fluttershy looks down "Well yes...She has so much energy for being one pony. I hope you'll stick to your promise that you made, Dr. Facilier...She seemed very serious about this..." The doctor raised an eyebrow and wanted to know why exactly something so silly can be so important.

"Why so serious about a secret hoofshake?
I'm jus' getting some stuff for potions to make!"

Fluttershy looked away, clear on the fact that the doctor didn't understand the severity of a Pinkie Pie Swear, and wanted to enlighten him "Well...the thing about Pinkie Pie Swears is..." She was thinking of what proper terms to use for the confused Shadowcolt, and then noticed Zecora coming their way "Oh, look! It's Zecora! Shall we go talk to her?" He wanted to refuse, until he remembered a certain item needed for his to-do list, and smiled at the timid mare.

"Lead the way, let's go and talk.
But we gotta be quick, since we need to walk."

The two trotted over, Fluttershy smiling at the zebra mare "Hello, Zecora. How are you doing today? Are you here to deliver medicine to another pony?" Zecora turned to Fluttershy and gave a smile of her own as she spoke her business towards her.

"I came to get some items that I need
for a brew that can increase a pony's speed.
What are you doing with the doctor here?
You two must be a couple so dear."

Fluttershy blushed and looked at the doctor "A-A-Actually, no...W-We're just friends..." She then perked up at Zecora's reason for being in town "Oh, what a coincidence. I was just helping Dr. Facilier with just the same reason...O-Only he wanted many ingedients for many potions of his..." This made Zecora turn to the doctor in question, who was smiling at her for some odd reason. Secretly, she was surprised that the doctor could bounce back so easily after coming into contact with the boquet of Poison Joke she offered to him, but decided to try and talk to him to see what he was planning.

"So now I'm not the only one
Who makes potions under Celestia's sun...
I look ever so forward to seeing you
Show your talents at what you brew..."

Dr. Facilier knew she didn't mean every word of it, but he ignored it as he gave a nod, stealthfully signalling his shadow to swoop behind her while she wasn't looking. The shadow then plucked one of the hairs from the head of Zecora's shadow, making her flinch and look away in confusion, the shadow quickly swooping back and placing the hair in his master's saddlebag while she wasn't looking. Zecora blinked and looked around, and then turned back to the odd couple and wondered out loud.

"It felt like somepony touched my head
To pluck a hair and quickly fled."

The couple both exchanged worried glances to Zecora and each other, though Dr. Facilier was faking it sans effort, and Fluttershy spoke "Y-Y-You don't think it w-was a....gh-gh-gh-ghost, do you?" She began to shake at the thought, and the Shadowcolt kept his guise as he spoke.

"Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty...
I jus' hope that you'll be more gritty
For what happened jus' now, I cannot tell
That it will not leave you alone for a spell..."

Zecora raised an eyebrow at the doctor's feigned concern, and wanted to ask him why exactly he would say such a thing to her, but flinched again as she felt another hair on her head being plucked. She looked around while uttering something in her native tongue, Fluttershy taking a step back at this. Dr. Facilier placed a hoof over his mouth and shook, making it seem he looked scared while in reality, he was snickering at her confusion as his shadow placed a second hair in his saddlebag. The zebra mare rubbed her head at this and noticed the doctor snickering and began to glare.

"Why do you find laughter in this!?
Is there something funny I may have missed!?"

He quickly stopped snickering and looked worried again, lifting his hooves in a halting motion.

"I don't find this funny at all!
The hilarity in this is jus' too small!
We gotta get goin', and you should too,
So you can get the stuff needed for your brew!"

Zecora narrowed her eyes at him, knowing he was lying through his teeth. She knew he possessed a dirty soul the moment he laid eyes on him, and decided to try her luck at exposing him again.

"You act like you're hiding something from us...
Why don't you tell us both and spare yourself fuss?"

Dr. Facilier looked around and found no passing ponies with oranges this time, and took a step back as he looked around. He looked down to his shadow, who smiled and pulled the flaps on its shady suit, showing his ticket to freedom as he grinned.

"Well, since y'all wanted to know my problem's root...

He pulled on his flashy tuxedo with a hoof.

What do ya think about my suit?"

Zecora scoffed at him dodging her questions, but felt it best to bring about her statement towards what he's wearing.

"You mean that suit of darkened purple?
It's about as ba-

She stopped, and silently cursed herself for falling for the same trick twice. The doctor grinned at this and trotted past Zecora back to Fluttershy's cottage.

"It seems my suit has left ya speechless,
And turned your mind into quite a mess...
It was fun an' all, but I gotta head back
And do my work at Fluttershy's shack!"

Fluttershy looked at the doctor with folded ears "Um...I-It's a cottage..." She turned and bowed to Zecora "Goodbye, Zecora. Dr. Facilier seems to be a very busy stallion sometimes, and you have your own tasks to attend to. Good luck on your potion!" She trotted after the doctor "Wait for me!" Zecora, after a few minutes of standing still, hung her head in shame as she searched for her desired items.

Back at Fluttershy's cottage, Dr. Facilier was chuckling with glee as he added the two collected hairs onto his newly-crafted voodoo doll of Zecora before enchanting it with magic, and levitated a pin he found over it with determined eyes and a devilish grin 'And now...ya'll are about to enter into a world o' pain...' Before he was about to strike, Fluttershy was behind the Shadowcolt "Doctor? What are you doing with that doll?" Dr. Facilier flinched and hid his items behind his back.

"Errr...Jus' addin' some touches to this thing here.
Ain't nothin' you should worry about at all, dear..."

Fluttershy tilted her head "Well...okay...but it's getting late. You should probably head on to bed..." She trotted over to the stairs as she turned back to the doctor one last time "Dr. Facilier?" The doctor went to go stab the doll, but stopped and turned to the timid mare as his name was called. After a period of awkward silence, Fluttershy sighed and looked down "Nevermind..." She trotted upstairs quietly, leaving the doctor to his doll. He chuckled as he levitated the pin 'Let the fun begin...' He took a first good jab into the right flank of the doll.

Meanwhile, Pinkie woke up in her bed with a gasp and widened eyes. Her face slowly contorted into an expression of anger "He didn't...".

End of Chapter 16

Comments

[Delicious]

Dang, I was soooo close to going to bed! But nooooo! You just HAD to update it during my final update run! ... Thank you...

[Delicious]

156266

Ah, sorry. I didn't know for sure how to pronounce the name and so didn't see the pattern.

[NecromancerX69]

img.ponibooru.org/_images/df2b5834d2d1b878105ed49082bc4b69/116270%20-%20LotR%20pinkie_pie%20pinkie_promise.jpg
keep up the awesome work my good sir.

[Dirty Bit]

157387 You just made my day with that image, good sir. Glad to hear you still like this XD

[Reader Wolf]

Should we bow our heads in prayer for Facilier's health?

[The sad mare]

i like the story but pinkie pie breaking the fourth wall and ruining the fun is no fun dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png

[La Barata]

I've got to agree with some others I've read. This is a great story, but the way you wrote Pinkie really ruins it.

[Dark reaper]

157586

Damn it! With all this history, you predicted episode #62 "Keep Calm and Flutter On" about a year before it aired! The Doctor behaves and thinks with Fluttershy just like Discord! Well, only he's a better actor than Discord