7
Dusty gazed out the window of the carriage as it flew through the air towards Canterlot. His mind was filled with thoughts regarding Celestia’s talk with Twilight sparkle. What did Celestia mean by understanding? How could he possibly be more dangerous than he already was? Honestly he wanted nothing to do with being a dangerous pony and he did not understand why Celestia would think that if he understood what had happened to him, he would suddenly become some sort of merciless villain pony. He sighed a bit to himself as he watched the lovely rolling landscape pass by. He was at a loss as to what to do at this point. He figured that being locked away forever might indeed be for the best. But now he had a taste of freedom; it’s beauty and wonder. The only thing to come of it was the horrible injury of some sweet ponies who never did anything to harm him.
Something thudded against the side of the carriage, snapping Dusty out of his train of thought. A loud “Hey!” could be heard from the front. One of the guards was yelling angrily at something outside. Dusty frowned, wondering what in the hay could be going on. He looked out the window, stretching his neck to try to get a better look he heard a loud snapping noise and spun around to see that the back door of the carriage had been flung open, and a cyan Pegasus with rainbow hair was staring anxiously at him. “Well? Come on; let’s go before the guards notice!” Dusty blinked several times and looked around quickly. A look of concentration crossed his face and he galloped towards the Pegasus, leaping out of the back of the carriage. Had he given it any real thought, he would have found the idea to be completely insane. Nonetheless, there he was leaping into the open air. Thankfully being caught by the cyan Pegasus and carried off while a pale yellow Pegasus with pink hair quickly caught up with them. She apparently had been distracting the guards so the cyan Pegasus could break him out. Dusty looked at the two and wished he could ask them who they were and what the hay they were doing.
“Okay Fluttershy,” said the cyan Pegasus, with a strong grip on Dusty as they flew towards the dense Everfree Forest.
“We gotta move fast if we are gonna outrun those guards, so keep an eye out will ya?” Fluttershy nodded. Her soft voice was almost too soft to hear over the wind rushing in his ears.
“Um...okay Rainbow Dash...um...they are kida scary though and um...I’ll keep my eyes open...” Rainbow Dash nodded and narrowed her eyes, picking up speed as they headed further over the dense trees of the forest.
"We’re gonna set you down in this spot over here Dusty,” declared Rainbow Dash.
“Then were gonna make sure we were not followed. Don’t worry bro, we have a plan.”
Dusty just did his best not to lose his lunch over the trees. He enjoyed a flight as much as the next pony, but Rainbow Dash’s breakneck speed was making him rather queasy.
Eventually they reached a small clearing and Rainbow Dash set Dusty down as gently as possible before the two pegasi flew back up to make sure the air was clear of Celestia’s guards. After a few moments they landed and waited quietly with Dusty until several other ponies arrived, including Twilight Sparkle, who was in a wheelchair being pushed by an orange pony in a rather fine hat. A white unicorn with a well-kept mane, and Pinkie Pie, who looked no worse for the wear, followed. Pinkie Pie immediately tackled Dusty, nuzzling him happily with a “Hi there, Dusty!” She left him blushing and staring at the ground after she moved to rejoin her friends.
Twilight Sparkled smiled at Dusty, who still found it difficult to look her in the eyes. Then he looked around at her friends. “Okay, are we ready girls?” Twilight asked. The other ponies nodded and Dusty looked at all of them quizzically.
Twilight smiled reassuringly. “These are the Elements of Harmony, Dusty, and we are going to use them and see if they will help you.”
Dusty frowned and blinked at the necklaces that suddenly appeared on five of the ponies. A tiara appeared on the head of Twilight sparkle.
“Yeah!” said Pinkie Pie in her usual bouncy manner. “Cause even though Princess Celestia said we should forget about you, we were not about to forget about a pony who needed friends so badly. And parties and help. Why, I would just be a pretty poor Pinkie Pie if I just forgot about some pony who really needed a party, now wouldn’t I?” Dusty just blinked and nodded, figuring it was probably just best to agree with Pinkie Pie.
The ponies surrounded him as he pawed the ground nervously looking at each of them. He was entirely unsure if this was even a remotely good idea. Slowly they each started to glow and float slowly in the air, concentrating. At that, Dusty lay down and covered his eyes with his hooves. This was not going to be good at all. Suddenly Twilight Sparkles’ eyes turned white with glowing magic and a massive rainbow beam arced down and covered Dusty. At first he just felt warm. Then suddenly he grabbed his head in pain. The voices were filling his mind again. What were they trying to say? Why were they so insistent? His head felt as though it were going to explode. So much pressure inside trying to get out and so much pressure outside, trying to get in. It made no sense. These voices were trying to tell him something but he just could not make out what they were saying. The pain kept growing and growing. Off in the distance he heard some pony screaming.
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I'll be honest, I was expecting the Elements to not work.
I know it's your story, but I wished that something else than the Elements fixing everything would have happened.
But it's the end of the story and the ending made me feel happy inside knowing that Dusty is now back to normal.
Your grammar has improved greatly, I must say. An interesting read, although it feels a tad rushed near the end. It has been a great little story and I look forward to seeing how you apply your writing experience to your next story.
Iiii.... don't really understand this ending.
Great story, 4.7/5 can't wait for the next story
A good story and I was excited to see that there was a new chapter, but really?
I'm sorry, but that ending just seemed to cliche, the elements of harmony fix him, we don't know whats in his head and he can just forgive Celestia just like that?
I liked it, but the ending just didn't seem to work in my opinion.
I agree with Ronin here. The ending wasn't that good. I loved the story, and aside from some spelling/grammar errors it was really good. The ending, however, was quite a let down...
Is that it?
Honestly, I kinda felt the same way about the ending, but then I told myself, "I am writing a short story about magical ponies and the power of friendship." I may go back and change the ending, if I can think of a better one that seems to work.
i agree the ending was very cliche
148522
You could do an alternate ending or a different take on the series or go into detail about what was inside of him all this time.
Maybe a demon was inside him?, something controlled his speech?
Your choice y;know?
I edited chapter 7 because I like it fine up until the point where they hit him with the elements of harmony. I think I am going to change the ending for sure. I was not exactly happy with it in the first place, and I think I can make it better.
I´m scared about the ending and that tragedy tag...
To be honest, I didn't even realize this was an ending until I read the comments, you could do so much more with this. Oh well good story, but a lack-luster ending.
148872
I deleted my original ending and left 7 as a stand alone chapter. I am writing a new ending, one which I like far better.