Building Walls, Burning Bridges

by MonolithiuM

[ARC II] Chapter 21- Crusaders+Idea=Everfree Forest

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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost

"Letter for Mister Nucleosis!" I barely managed to dodge Ditzy Doo, whose impact with the ground threw up dust around herself. I extended a hand and Ditzy Doo placed the letter into my waiting mitten.

Applebloom looked over my shoulder, annoying me greatly. I sincerely hate when anyone does that. "What's that Mono?" she asked. I ignored her and continued to stroll down the plain dirt road from Sweet Apple Acres.

"Thank you, Ditzy," I said politely and opened the envelope. The gray mailmare saluted and flew away. Tossing the shredded envelope aside, I began to read the letter it had contained.

I read the letter from Fancy and I almost cried tears of joy. Flim and Flam had arrived in Canterlot and were being brought up to speed by Fancy Pants and Fleur. Meanwhile, the pen's patent had been bought and approved. I had officially re-invented the ball-point pen.

In other news, I had to get myself a copy of The Canterlot Times, because apparently Shining Armor's coronation was set for later this week. He was going to be a fucking princess. I laughed aloud at reading this, and continued onwards shortly after wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"What is it, Mono?" Applebloom asked me. I flipped over the paper for her to read and pointed at the sentence in particular. She scanned the page before adopting a baffled look. She too then burst into childish laughter, which made me laugh again, then her, then me and so on and so forth.

After a good six minutes of laughter recycling, we continued to walk. "Oh yeah, I'm probably gonna be a millionaire after I get out of Ponyville." I ignored her shocked stare and kept on reading Fancy's letter. Flim and Flam had been cleaned up and were currently taking etiquette classes, which was great. No room for sleazes on my train.

Quick Script had found somebody to sell her interview to for…

"Five hundred thousand bits!" I gaped at the paper and continued reading. She would be placing a quarter of the fund, which was more like a ransom, into our company. That meant I owed her one, or one hundred and twenty-five thousand, which I was completely fine with.

The guards at the palace were now receiving increased pay and were making great progress on their literacy issue. Twilight Sparkle had been helping them before traveling to Ponyville yesterday, which I was grateful for.

Blueblood had been called out for his racism and now had some massive negative press stalking him constantly, which made me giggle at his misfortune. Celestia had informed the zebra Prime Minister that I would be competing in the Harmonious Sports Tournament and he had hastily vowed to best Ponyville.

"Good luck with that, chump." Already we had financial backers for our project, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside because I had a lot more planned. Quill companies were already staging against me, according to one of Fancy's insiders, and they were intent on taking my industry down. "Once again: good luck, chumps."

Oh, and Lyra's group had been denied a hearing in Celestia's court thanks to my ten-foot tall cake bribe that I had set aside for Celestia prior to my absence in Canterlot. I had been waiting to use that wild card for a while. Folding the letter and depositing it into my coat, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and smiled.

"Well, no more staying at the Schoolhouse for me then," I chuckled. Applebloom rose an eyebrow again.

"You've been staying in the Schoolhouse this entire time?" Applebloom asked me, clearly surprised.

"It is a bit embarrassing, isn't it?" I thought with a down-trodden deadpan on my face. Yeah, it was pretty fucking sad now that I really think about it. Nodding slowly, I said, "Yeah. Twilight offered to house me."

"Why wouldn't ya stay with a Princess?! They're royalty," she exclaimed in confusion. The answer was painfully obvious to me, and so I felt tired repeating myself again. I didn't want to explain that arriving in Ponyville was enough already and that bunking at Twilight's would have just been completing this half-baked circle jerk of stupidity.

I saved my breath instead.

"Cliche, yadda yadda the usual Mono-brand bullshit. Besides, Penchant let me know about some place he rented outside of town, and no commute is too far for me." She accepted this as an answer and we continued on down the road towards Ponyville where we were set to meet up with the rest of the Crusaders to finally collect everything on the List in one fell swoop.

And so we continued into Ponyville at a leisurely pace.

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We arrived in Ponyville only to be tackled to the ground by Scootaloo. Pushing myself up, I glared at her. "What the fuck, Scoots?!" I shouted.

Instead of apologizing, she shook me by my shoulders and shouted into my face. "Sweetie's horn just dragged her into the Everfree!"

Groaning, I pulled the brow of my hat down and glared at nothing in particular. "Goddamn motherfucking sonuvabitch horseshit cliches."

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"Why the fuck is it always the goddamned Everfree?" I pushed a branch out of the way and my crabby mood was brought back tenfold when a second branch smacked me in the face.

"Sorry Mono!" Applebloom called back. I grumbled about her stupidity and forged ahead anyway, forcing my anger down. Luckily for us, Sweetie Belle's hooves had dragged across the ground, leaving deep indentations through the woods.

I slipped an earphone under the left ear of my hat and shuffled my library. Clicking 'play', I trudged onwards to the soothing tones of The Heavy. The Everfree's branches swooped from some winds, giving the girls a chill and making some birds fly into the gray sky.

We were soon out of the first section of the Everfree, and once we were in the main woods, I took the earphones out and strode ahead of the Crusaders. I knew it was going to happen at some point, so why not jump start it?

"Look at me, I'm so tasty. I hope a wood monster doesn't leap out of the bushes and take advantage of my small stature and heavenly deliciousness." I put my arms in the air and spun about three times. Utter silence responded to my bait and I deadpanned.

"I guess they're all bark and no bite."

"Mono? What are you-!" Scootaloo's question was interrupted by a demonic howl that chilled them to their very bones. I, however, saw this coming a mile away. Four of the wooden beasts known as Timberwolves had made themselves known, and were now circling us with hungry looks in their eyes.

"Huh. There aren't that many of them. Maybe they're a splinter group?" I pondered out loud. The wolves howled and three more joined their ranks from the brush and darkness.

"Mono! Stop talking!" Applebloom shout-whispered to me. Obviously, I didn't heed her advice.

I stared down the biggest wolf. "So, let me carve you a picture here." This elicited more howls of anger. "Now, everyone in this pony town is pretty twigged and I think that they do some stupid shit."

"Stop making puns, Mono! You're making them mad!"

And indeed I was. The lime-green sap cascading from their snarling maws was obvious enough. I knew for a fact that my puns- which were making me sick even saying them- were quickly aggravating the Timberwolves.

"But we've been walking for a while and my back is stiff as a board. It'd be great if you'd just let us walk bast." I could hear Applebloom facehoof from where I was standing, and the comment made the wolves even angrier. I have to admit that even I internally cringed at the failed pun.

Thankfully, that last terrible pun did the trick. Four of the ferocious woodland monsters lunged for me, and I activated my speed ability. "For a monstrous cliche, this power is really working out well for me."

The four wolves descended upon me slowly, and in rapid succession I bopped them each on the snout. Letting my ability fade, the four Timberwolves fell to the ground in a pile of firewood.

The wolves remaining stared down at their lost brethren, expecting them to form up. When the tell-tale glow failed to appear, however, they elicited concerned snorts and snarls.

Before they could react, the three standing wolves were each hit on the snouts consecutively by me when I blasted forward in a bout of vicious speed.

The wooden corpses of the Timberwolves slowly decomposed before us, blanketing the area in sawdust. I clapped my hands together and motioned for the Crusaders to lead the way yet again. I wasn't gonna barrel head-long into whatever the fuck was out there.

Sharing a quick look, the two shrugged their shoulders and kept on course. They had gotten over my bullshit faster than I had expected, but hey, good on them for putting up with it in the first place.

Sweetie Belle's tracks, if you could call them that, continued on through the forest and to the Ghastly Gorge, at least another ten minutes of trudging through wilderness.

I smacked away a massive beetle with a stick, then brought my attention back to Sweetie's tracks.

Straight up a goddamn mountain. I groaned and we began to hike up. The things I did for the best pony…

After a solid sixteen minutes we made our way to the top and peeked over the edge of the plateau situated on the top. All we could see was a cave and the tracks from Sweetie's hooves leading into it.

"It's awful dark in there," Applebloom said slowly as she gulped. Scootaloo nodded.

"Yeah, I would go in, but my doctor said I needed to get more Vitamin D, so…"

The two of them looked at me, and I deadpanned in annoyance. "You guys suck," I muttered before I hoisted myself up and over the edge. A quick burst of speed and a short jog later, and I was at the mouth of the cave.

"Uh… Sweetie? Sweetie Belle!" The only response I received was an echo. I grit my teeth and cupped my hands around my mouth. "GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!"

This time, I was answered with a thunderous roar and a disgusting blast of air that wafted over me and nearly made me gag. The ground began to rumble and I went wide eyed as the current denizen of the cave glared down at me.

With blood-orange scales, bone-white spines that would make Godzilla jealous, and two yellow eyes that burned with all the fury of hell; I was more than a little frightened. "Where's Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo called out behind me, oblivious of the beast just beyond her sight inside the cave.

I ran back in a panic. "Forget Sweetie! Sweetie's dead!"

Author's Note:

I'm finally happy with the quality of this chapter. Sorry for the wait. I should be releasing the edited version of Chapter 22 in a few days. Peace.

Comments

[truthaura]

well

[Capt TeK]

3348446 That escalated quickly.

[Emo Rainbow]

Well I don't know about you but shit just got real. Oh...right hie fic it's not real. Forget what I said! Also those puns ughhhh gag me with a spoon. You probably act a lot more like mono than you think,but that's just a hunch. I'm rambling again oh well I eagerly await the next chapter BRING IT ON!

[MonolithiuM]

3349058 The puns hurt me as well. But that's the point! The Timberwolves simply couldn't take anymore.

[esopbelac117]

Dragon has Sweetie Bell...
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[MonolithiuM]

3352677 It won't be what you're expecting, trust me.

[AnormalUnicornPony]

3382175
Your avatar... looks familiar....
ehgt.org/g/ponies/derpy.png