Building Walls, Burning Bridges

by MonolithiuM

[ARC II] Chapter 20- I Suppose We Should Call This Chapter Twenty

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"Has anypony seen Mono?" asked Twilight Sparkle. The citizens that had just finished bowing to her adopted a singular look reminiscent of Celestia's. "You know what, nevermind. Just leave him be, I suppose."

"Pinkie Pie sure has her work cut out for her," she thought in bemusement. Speaking of the energetic pink party pony, where exactly was she? "I wonder where-" Twilight's train of thought was derailed, thrown through the air and exploded; coming to a stop at a cliff, where it soon after fell off into a bottomless crevasse.

"Hiya Twilight!" Pinkie Pie appeared literally from underneath a stone next to Twilight. I can't make this up. She just, like, appeared there. "Ah! It's so refreshing being able to use some crazy magic now that Mono's not around! I mean, look what he's doing to this town!"

Twilight looked out on the town and gave a concerned frown. Pinkie was right, all of the townspeople seemed to be ornery about something or another. However, they were showing no animosity towards one another. "Oh yeah, I wonder who's got their jimmies in a rustle…"

Twilight had surprised herself. She had never before even thought to make a sarcastic comment as such. Perhaps she had been around Mono for too long? Maybe the meat was affecting her psyche. That bacon had smelled pretty good, and she couldn't really resist just taking a nibble…

Twilight, despite her surroundings, found that she was embarrassing herself by memory alone. Yes, she had partaken in meat, but as a psuedo-goddess she found that it did not poison her. And, rather shamefully, she had stolen and consumed the plate of bacon she found in the castle's halls.

But, hidden in the tall grass of embarrassment and self-loathing was a devious creature that had taken some sick pleasure from the act. This creature, however, was on a short leash… "But more bacon couldn't hurt…"

Public relations be damned, meat was delicious. And if her little ponies didn't accept, that was just too bad. "Pinkie, do you know where Mono is right now?" To find Mono would be to continue, and finish, her experiments, and possibly begin new tests as well. And meat, don't forget meat.

"Oh, he was chatting with a brand new pony in town! Wait, why haven't I thrown him a party yet?" Pinkie sat down in thought, her tongue hanging out of her shut mouth. "Ah, that's right! Because he's a fancy business pony on fancy business duty!"

"Business duty?" Twilight inquired. Pinkie nodded rapidly.

"Yeah! He's the stallion that used your special new spell and made televisions out of it! I've got one, Rarity's got one, most ponies in town have one too! Heeheehee! 'One too!' That's so silly! Good thing this is text-based or fans would have trouble understanding my erratic, comical behavior in a rational way!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and laughed. Pinkie was so random. So random, in fact, that she suddenly ran into a wall and collapsed. Twilight rushed over. It seemed Pinkie Pie had knocked herself out cold on account of being a schizophrenic pink piece of garbage with a knack for being uncannily genre savvy. Truly a dangerous tool.

Emphasis on tool.

Twilight, figuring she'd be fine, teleported her to Sugar Cube Corner and made her way through the town again, basking in the adoration of many ponies whom she still called friends. It was certainly strange, however, knowing that these ponies would live and die while she herself lived on throughout the ages.

What was the point of friendship if all your friends would just die anyway, leaving you to experience a sad and lonely life filled with hollow experiences and pointless endeavors. And birthday parties…

Really, what is a birthday party? In actuality it's just celebrating the encroaching moment of inevitable death. Pretty depressing when you really think about it, huh? Twilight moved on to the market to find her friend Applejack working at the usual apple stall. It was as if nothing had changed since she'd been gone.

"Well now, howdy doody, yer majesty," she drawled. Oh, that feels so good to make her say. 'Howdy doody', what a hick thing to say. To drawl. Drawl drawl drawl DRAWL. Yeah. "What brings ya back to Ponyville, Twi?"

Twilight paused. In truth, it was Mono who had brought her out of her beautiful beach-side home in Neighpon, but how would that sound to her friend. Of course, she couldn't lie to the Element of Honesty…

She tried anyway, of course.

"Oh, you know, just wanted to see my friends and get a feel for the old country again." You know, it was probably the 'you know' that gave her away. Terrible beginner mistakes, really.

"You're here for Mono, ain't ya?" Applejack sure got over that 'yer' fast. It's not even a word, yet you see it used so often. Oh wait! 'You' is considered bad writing in some cases, and if you read 'you' at any other time in this story, I'd highly advise you un-see 'you' as long as you read the rest of this fic, okay? Awesome.

Twilight rubbed the nape of her neck with some mild embarrassment. Wait a cotton-pickin' minute! 'Nape of neck'? Why don't I just say: 'the back of her neck of her neck'! It's neck-ception up in this!

"Sorry. I thought it would seem kind of insensitive. But, new alien and all that, couldn't resist." At least she was truthful after Applejack called her out on it, could you imagine if she wasn't? Oh man, that'd be counter-productive.

"It's alright Twi, I understand." Applejack huffed. "But I don't know what you'd want that little bugger for, anyways." Oh snap, she just called Mono out! Bitch got bravado…

"I know that he can be a bit… difficult, but Luna spoke to me about him. Apparently this is all a rather elaborate show. An act of desperation, if you will. He's trying to be unique by pushing everypony away."

Applejack quirked an eyebrow. "I don't get it." And she never will, because Twilight discovered she had places to go and aliens to bother, and so she absconded the hell out of there with a hasty "goodbye".

While she hadn't received directions from her hick chum, Twilight found that she had a vague idea of where the little barbaric, borderline schizophrenic human would be. It was lunchtime after all, so where better than a joint that serves meat in Ponyville?

As for the reasoning behind said joint: fuck you it's in Ponyville because it's pivotal, alright? Twilight, however, had not been privy to the location of the restaurant due to the fact that she became a Princess and lived in Neighpon for the past four months. There you go, an exact date.

And so, the Element of Magic became lost. What a nincompoop.

However, being the semi-nincompoop pony Princess that she is, she was more than inclined to ask for directions to the meat-serving restaurant. She received them from a stallion working a cabbage stall, and she followed his instructions, ending up outside of The Spotted Lupus.

Out came the human and a recognizable stallion from recent media, both in tears and laughing heartily.

"And then he says: 'But I'm a mare now!'"

The two cackled at the stallion's joke, and Mono doubled over in gleeful tears. Straightening back up, he wiped them away and smiled at Penchant. "Holy shit, that was the most amazing story I've ever heard."

Penchant's chuckling died down and he said, "Ooh, yeah. Oh man, that was one hell of a night. Whew…"

Penchant's gaze met Twilight's and he threw himself to the ground in a bow. "Princess! I didn't realize you were there! My apologies."

Mono's humor faded in an instant and he flashed a harsh glare at Twilight Sparkle. "You just had to ruin the moment, Mary Sue. What the hell's your problem, huh?" Mono's disappointment radiated from his expression, although Twilight was sufficiently immune to it by now.

"Shove it, Mono." Twilight clamped two hooves over her mouth, and Mono's wide-eyed stare split into a wry grin.

"THAT'S MY PRINCESS," He roared happily.

Author's Note:

Strike back.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Just so we're clear here this isn't a crossover, right?

[Capt TeK]

I just have to wonder.. did you just say "fuck it" and got distracted by what you wrote to comment on said thing that you wrote?

[truthaura]

what kind of super meta BS is this?

[MonolithiuM]

3324455>>3325070>>3325040

HAAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHHAHAHAHAAA!

[esopbelac117]

How I imagine Mono views living in Equestria (and by extension the writer feels when writing this).
collectionofawesome.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/cnuls.gif?w=562

[MonolithiuM]

3326291 Spot-on.

[Starlight Nova]

3325770 What's so funny?

[Capt TeK]

3325770 RED ALERT! CODE 3, OTHER ALERT THINGIES! THE AUTHOR IS BORED!!! I REPEAT, THE AUTHOR IS BORED!

Ahem, now that that's out of the way, time to continue my re-read.