Forgiveness
Twilight and her pony friends were gathered at the edge of the Everfree Forest, on a dirt road leading to Ponyville. They were all were relieved to hear that Princess Celestia had to reschedule her visit. The Princess was standing before her regal chariot, facing them.
Not far away, a parade of small, flying insects was proceeding rhythmically into the Forest. The jaunty sound of Pinkie’s instruments filled the air.
“Haven’t you learned anything about friendship?” Celestia asked.
Twilight looked at Pinkie. “Actually, I have. I’ve learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from where you least expect it. It’s a good idea to stop and listen to your friends’ ideas and perspectives”
CRASH went Pinkie’s cymbals. Everypony cringed.
“...even when they don’t always seem to make sense”
“I’m so proud of you, Twilight Sparkle, and I’m very impressed with your friends as well. It sounds like you’re all learning so much from each other”
The chariot began to move.
“Thank you, Princess”
Pinkie Pie appeared out of thin air. “Hey, what happened to the Princess?”
“An emergency in Phillydelphia.” Twilight siad.
“Some sort of...infestation.” added Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, no! Have they got parasprites too? Well, have tuba, will travel!” Pinkie was getting ready to play again. Twilight stopped her.
“I think the princess can handle it.”
“So you knew what those critters were all along, huh, Pinkie Pie?” Applejack asked.
“Well, DUH! Why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments? I tried to tell you...”
“We know, Pinkie Pie, and we’re sorry we didn’t listen” said Twilight apologetically.
The other four ponies chimed in to give their own apology.
“You’re a great friend, even if we don’t always understand you” Twilight continued.
“Thanks, guys! You’re all great friends, too, even when I don’t understand me”
“You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville!”
Later, while sitting amid the rubble of Ponyville, Twilight would add, “...or not”
Simon half-awoke, and half-opened his eyes. He was not the least bit surprised, then, to see Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, standing before him, replete in her Technicolor bubble.
“Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” she asked.
He didn’t bother to answer.
He allowed his eyes to focus. The image of Glinda resolved into a much more impressive sight. It was a four-legged creature, like Twilight in many ways, but taller, and brighter in colour. If Twilight was an angel, he thought, then this creature must be a Seraph. She towered above him in a way he wasn’t at all sure he liked.
“Simon, I presume” she said casually.
He nodded.
“I am Princess Celestia. I am the ruler of Equestria. I understand you met my student, Twilight Sparkle.”
He nodded.
“And that said meeting didn’t end well.”
Again, he nodded.
She smiled. “I understand. These things happen.”
With this comment, Simon felt completely at ease.
"Simon, I realize that you and my student had... let's say a rough start, but I would ask that you forgive her rashness. I am afraid she still has very much to learn about the world around her."
Simon got up. His head came about halfway up her neck. He walked down the length of the ship to stretch his legs. She walked with him. His boots clanked loudly on the hull of the ship. Celestia didn’t make any sound.
Every muscle in his body felt like it had a cramp. He walked with an awkward shuffle, and every step made him grimace. He reached down and squeezed his calf. It felt like a rock. He bent over and touched his toes to try and stretch them out. The muscles in his back resisted, and soon he was too tired to stand. He sat down gracelessly, folding his legs. Celestia appeared beside him. Her height was truly imposing, until she gently lowered herself, folding her legs in front of herself. She was still a head taller than him. She looked out into the forest.
“Equestria is a good place. We are happy and safe. Not like here. Here is where the vicious, the ignorant, the reclusive and outcast come to live life as they see fit…”
Something flew past Simon’s head. He ducked, and then turned to see that it was a big, fat, pink locust sitting comfortably on Celestia’s side. He made hastily for his lighter, but the sudden spreading of Celestia’s wings stilled his hand. Her expression turned piercingly serious.
“...and where they have every right to do so. We are all children of the Universe. We all have a right to be here. I understand why you would seek reparation from such a destructive life. But this is not your world, Simon.”
Simon put his hands on his thighs. Celestia’s wings retracted, her face softened, and the locust flew off into the woods.
“In Equestria we believe, simply, that our greatest asset is friendship. Without each other, we are nothing. You are nothing.”
Simon furrowed his brow. Celestia stood up.
“In time, you will come to understand. In the spirit of friendship, I ask that you admit to Twilight Sparkle your mistake. Should she forgive you, I sense you will find in her a true friend.”
With that, she leapt off the ship, gliding gracefully to the forest floor. “If you wish to to see Twilight again, follow me” She walked away.
Simon didn’t hesitate; he got on his feet, clamored down the wing of his ship, jumped, and, ignoring the shock to his knees, ran after her.
Simon could have easily justified his decision to follow Celestia using his years of study of logic: The suspected consequences of returning to Twilight was preferable to the completely unknown consequences of any other action. Furthermore, it was perfectly rational given the situation that being on good terms Twilight was certainly advantageous, that in a situation such as his he needed as many friends as he could get, and as few enemies as he could help having. Probability, game theory and common sense all supported his decision.
None of this had crossed his mind until the long walk through the forest forced his mind to idle musings. He didn’t hide from himself the fact that he was going back because it was the right thing to do.
He had trouble keeping up with Celestia. Her long strides and quick pace combined with the cramps in his legs made him worry he would be unable to make the unknown distance.
Instead of travelling through the scar made by the fire, Celestia led him straight north, where the forest was healthy. The canopy darkened their path. Celestia almost glowed in the darkness. Simon stumbled and tripped and fell, but Celestia glided through as though the forest itself gave way to her.
He wished he could talk to her.
They reached the edge of the forest. Celestia stopped at the edge. She said nothing. Simon stepped out into the open. The sun was setting in the west. To the west were the silhouettes of two four-legged creatures.
“Good luck, Simon” Celestia said softly. He turned. She was gone.
Simon was still for a moment. He stepped back into the forest, and emerged with a long, thick branch.
He headed towards the silhouettes, reasoning that Celestia had meant him to. As he came closer he saw that one was Twilight. She and her companion were mending a fence.
Twilight had a hammer in her mouth and was attempting to drive home a nail. With the first stroke, the hammer flew out of her mouth and landed on the far side of the fence. Twilight puckered her lips; she’d hurt her teeth.
“It’s okay, Twi,” the orange one said, “You can use yer horn if ya need to.”
Twilight shook her head and began to reach through the fence for her hammer as she answered. “No, no. I can learn to do this the right way, just like everypony else.” Twilight rubbed a sore spot on her jaw. “Even if it does cost me a few extra bits in dental.” She craned her neck through the fence, reaching for the hammer.
“Aw shoot Twi, as long as it gets done it… Issat Simon?” Applejack raised a hoof to wave. “Howdy Simon!
“Simon?!” Twilight echoed. She tried to pull her head out from between the fence-posts, but got stuck. She pulled harder and yanked her head through with enough force to send her stumbling backwards and falling onto her back. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
Simon held out a hand to silence her. He raised his branch. He saw her flinch. He stooped to the ground and wrote, clearly as he could:
IM SORRY
Twilight stared at these words a long time.
The orange angel looked at Twilight, then at Simon, and cleared her throat.
Twilight seemed to awaken from a trance. She walked up to Simon. “Are you really sorry?” she asked quietly.
Simon nodded.
“I...forgive you,” she said.
Simon felt a smile on his lips he didn’t recall putting there.
Her lips quivered. Suddenly, she rushed up to him and embraced him. It took all his willpower not to push her off. “I’m sorry, too! I should have tried to understand what you were saying! Please forgive me!” She looked up at him with shimmering eyes.
He nodded.
She let go of him and turned to her companion.
“Applejack, do you mind if I take Simon home?”
Applejack gave the two a look. “Uh… No, not at all, Twilight.”
Simon stomped down the stairs to the basement. He looked at the bed, and saw that the locusts had devoured the sheets.
The weight on his shoulders was becoming unbearable. He removed the outer layers of his clothing - his olive-drab greatcoat and his jacket bulged at the seams with everything he had managed to force into his pockets as the fire bore down on his ship. Though it had only been two days, the fire already felt like a distant memory. His boots came off next, followed by his soggy socks.
Underneath that he wore a plain, green long-sleeved shirt, and under that a white undershirt that was no doubt drenched in sweat.
Simon felt his holster at his side and hesitated taking it off. Inside his holster, beside the gun, was a yellowed piece of paper with a series of tally marks, each mark representing a bullet fired. There were nine five-tallies and two left over. Forty-seven.
He’d carried his gun every day for the last three years. It’s solidity and weight comforted him. It had kept him safe, though at times it hadn’t been as good to him as he’d hoped. He stroked his crumpled throat.
And yet the idea he’d need it now, when Twilight had done so much to help him, seemed absurd. With surprising difficulty, he unhooked his holster and buried it under his other things. Without their weight he felt light enough to float.
Simon emerged from the basement about half an hour later. For an instant, Twilight didn’t recognize him. His face was clean shaven. His hair, though still mussy, was clean. His bulky outer clothes were gone, showing his pale, skinny arms.
“I’ve set up some paper and a quill for you over here.” She gestured towards a simple podium with a stool.
Simon nodded, walked to it, and sat down. Twilight was standing over him. Her excitement was palpable.
Simon drew the quill from the inkwell - in a field such as mathematics when ideas can strike at any time, he’d improvised many unusual writing implements, yet the feeling of the quill was like nothing he’d ever experienced - and put it to the parchment. Twilight quivered in anticipation. He wrote,
Hello
Twilight blinked. “Hello…” she replied disappointedly.
What should we talk about?
“Uh….” She pawed the ground.
They stared at one another for a long time. At last, Twilight built up the courage to ask,
“What are you?”
Simon stared at her in disbelief. Twilight felt as though she’d said something very inappropriate. She dropped her ears and backed away a pace.
“I’m sorry. I really don’t know what you are.”
Simon took a deep breath. He turned to his parchment, and wrote:
I’m a human being. What are you?
Twilight read this. She didn’t know what a human being was. She decided not to tell Simon yet and answer his question.
“I’m a pony.”
In an instant, Simon was right in front of her, his nose inches from hers. His blinkless stare examined every inch of her. He grabbed her muzzle and turned her head from side to side. He pulled her ears back and forward. He ran his fingers through her mane. He grabbed her front legs and lifted her off her front hooves to look at the bottom of them. He grabbed her muzzle again and forced her jaw open to look inside.
“Sihon, I think this is an inhasion of persohal sace" Twilight slurred.
Simon continued staring at her teeth, watching the movement of her throat as she talked. His hand was on his flashlight when the meaning of her words got through to him. He felt his face turn hot. He let her go, and covered his face.
Twilight seized the opportunity to ask Simon a difficult question.
“So, where do human beings come from?”
Simon looked at her. She smiled encouragingly.
He stood up, returned to his podium, and answered her.
When I left, humans inhabited more territory than any other land mammal. This area was very densely populated.
The word “Left” stuck out to Twilight.
“Left? Where? When?”
Simon answered the second question first.
Three Thousand years ago
“WHAT?!” she shouted into his ear. Simon cringed.
“How is that possible? You’re three thousand years old? Where have you been? Why can’t you…” Twilight was silenced by a purple claw. A small, scaly creature Simon hadn’t seen when he came in had a hold of Twilight’s lips.
“One question at a time, Twilight.” He let her go. She blushed, and looked to Simon for a response. He didn’t give one. He stared at Spike.
“Simon…”
Who are you? he asked him.
“My name’s Spike! I’m a dragon!” he exclaimed proudly.
Simon blinked. He took a deep breath.
Dragon he wrote.
“Yup!”
He stared at Spike even longer. Another deep breath. He looked at Twilight, who was still bursting with questions.
I was sent to explore a planet outside of the solar system. My mission was intended to take 100 years. However, for reasons not clear to me, I arrived about three months ago
“Then what happened to the humans?”
You tell me. When did ponies begin talking?
The conversation had almost too many revelations for her to handle. “You mean, ponies didn’t always talk?”
Simon shook his head vigorously.
When I left, humans were the only animals that could talk
He thought, then added:
Dolphins have language. Dolphins and humans can talk
He thought again, and added:
Dragons were fictional. Trust me when I tell you they did not exist in any other form Another pause.
Why do you have a horn?
Spike arched an eyebrow. “Who, me?”
Simon shook his head and pointed at Twilight, who looked at Simon with about as much understanding as Spike had managed.
“I’m a unicorn pony.”
Simon stared at her for a moment before burying his head in his hands.
I need to go to bed
“What? Why?”
Simon was already halfway to the door.
“Wait! You just got-”
Slam!
“...back.”
Twilight hung her head.
“What do you think that was about?” Spike asked in an offended tone.
“I don’t know, Spike. I hope Simon’s okay”
Simon opened the door again. His back was straight. He shuffled over to the podium and, without sitting down, wrote something. He stood straight again. Twilight thought she saw tears in his eyes. He turned back around, crossed the room, and closed the door.
Spike and Twilight both approached the paper and read:
I want to go home
Stats
Page generated in 0.049 seconds
Total duration
895 users online
367,430 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
3274114 aftereatingsnickers.gif I feel fucking tingly. Like a moist thanksgiving nap. So yeah. I feel better.
imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
This one was particularly good, imo. Good job.
3274451
I have to ask this...
Why?
3275559 Idk, it's just one of those things. I just liked it. Can't really put my finger on the reason why, but perhaps it's because the whole Twilight part of the plot is resolved now. Honestly couldn't tell you.
3275559 It's obviously the fact that Simon makes a wonderful dentist.
I told you it would be a smart career change.
3273980
If you read the full description (a feat, I know), you'll see a full list of everything I could think of that inspired this story. Planet of the Apes should be pretty close to the top.
I think it's unfair to say the original Planet of the Apes was not intelligent. It was written by none other than the great Rod Serling, creator of The Twilight Zone. His stories are always deep and feature his trademark twist (and the one at the end of Planet of the Apes is a well-known doozy!)
Nice exchange of civilizations going on in this chapter! I especially liked how you crafted Simon's initial delusion of Princess Celestia as Glinda. I think you really captured his pathos with that last simple expression of grief. Where has Earth gone to? Is that a question that will eventually be answered in accordance with the plot, or is this some initial crisis of Simon's that will eventually fall by the wayside?
3278366
First of all, thanks a lot for explaining why you like the end.
I was desperate to finish up and just came up with it on the spot.
The conversation at the end was supposed to go on a lot longer (He tells her where he's from, that he eats meat, she shows him magic, etc.) but I think you've come to realize at this point that my writing tends to lean significantly towards leanness and minimalism.
As for your question,
In my opinion, a Human in Equestria fic ends the moment the main character begins settling in. The answer to the question, "Why is this lunkhead frolicking with MY little ponies and I'm not?" is the heart and soul of an HiE, and any (admittedly amusing) fish-out-of-water entertainment is just frosting on the cake.
So yes, Simon will work to find out where Earth that Was (Firefly reference) got to, or die trying.
3278366
I tend to refer to HiE protagonists, Simon included, as "lunkheads"
3278366
This chapter was also supposed to have a happier ending
("As Simon drifted to sleep, he knew that everything was going to be all right...")
but at the last minute (about 12:30 in the morning I think), I decided,
"Simon gets upset and leaves".
I think it was a change for the better
3279827
So, then, would you nominate an alternate title, "Attack of the Killer Formatting?"
In seriousness, Admari has been on my case about going back and reformatting for a while now. So likely as not there will be a complete keelhaul/overhaul of the first few chapters in short order.
3280315
I wanted something cosmic and poignant. Pale Blue Dot was the perfect choice. Most people would have gone with Blue Marble, but not me!
Again, I will say I like what I have read. This is as interesting as it thought it would be. I have, I will admit, a weakness for HIE stories like this. If I was a good writer, I would write such a story. And I find it a pitty that, despite the large number of HIEs, so few deal with ponies as the inheritor/pronator of Earth. I also love space and exploration and the first contact scenario. I am not surprised that this hold my interest. I look forward to the next chapter.
3377314
It's true ships are heat-shielded for re-entry, but I've read enough recounts of historic space missions to know that if the shield isn't angled correctly, the ship will burn up. I cite the Apollo 1 disaster as an example of how heat shields do not neutralize the danger of fire.
Simon crossed the Thames (A major river in London), which acted as a natural barrier for a fire.
If you don't buy that, all I can say is it worked in Stephen King's "Under the Dome", and I decided that what's good enough for him is good enough for me. Al told Simon to cross the river, if you read Simon's thoughts in "Intersection Part Two".
It's entirely possible Al is alive in the ship, but it wouldn't matter because the door's welded shut. Simon can't reach Al, Al can't do anything to help Simon. Fire generates a lot of heat. I tried to imply that this was a full-blown firestorm, which destroys pretty much anything.
Simon was choked at one point in "Alone" (3rd chapter) by a gigantic blob of hair and muscle endemic to the planet Simon was sent to explore (which I regret not naming since it gets tedious and confusing to refer to the planet in such a manner). Simon's injury is intended to resemble Taylor's from "Planet of the Apes", who was shot through the neck and lost his voice. I spent a lot of time researching injuries that result in complete loss of voice, and found out....there's no such injury. However, I claim artistic license in that "Last" would have been much, MUCH more of a run-of-the-mill Human in Equestria story if I didn't hinder Simon's communication in some way. The "Hello" "What Are You" "I'm a human" "I'm a pony" schtick has only so many plausible permutations, and I am incapable of coming up with a novel spin on it.
I hope this has answered your questions.
Don't hesitate to ask more. I love talking about my own work!
I guess Simon should count himself lucky there's not an additional language barrier to deal with on top of being mute. Still, that last written line asking where his home went. Heartbreaking...
If Al is still operational in the ship, it shouldn't take Twilight too long to bust open the door, Trick is finding the ship again I'd imagine. Then again, maybe it's best for Al that it not be subject to Twilight's insatiable curiosity. If any pony could do it, she could make Al turn itself off just to get her to stop asking questions.
As for ending the HiE fiction once he's "settled in to Ponyville". What about that mysterious facility, "Vigilant"? Am I correct in thinking it's near the Crystal Empire? And what ever happened to the rest of Humanity? It seemed like they were getting pretty good at a space-faring society to send some guy off 25 light years away. Even if there was a huge war, there must have been some remnants 'out there', either living on a Earth-like planet or tooling around in one of those 'Arc' style ships. They might come looking when Simon's ship parked itself in orbit and started broadcasting a big old, "Here I am!" to whatever's left in orbit. And getting back to Simon, when will Luna freak him the hell out by poking her nose into his weird human dreams? I'm curious if Twilight doesn't have a spell to help mute ponies she could use on him; either an item like a psychic-whiteboard (think it and it appears on the board for ponies to read which could lead to embarrassing shenanigans when it's too sensitive and picks up wandering thoughts and/or mental images) or a magically-driven electrolarynx prosthetic (a worn device around the neck to generate a voice that's more elegant than the buzzer throat-cancer patents have to use to 'talk').
3545199
I'm so glad my story is interesting enough for readers to remember this much detail!
As an anonymous writer on a pony fiction website, I'm quite prone to insecurity. Comments like these keep my ego nice and big.
That facility, Vigilant, indeed is mysterious. Only the most inattentive of readers would miss such an obvious plant being sown.
A few notes about the writing, mentioned by Mr. Morphy (not Morpheus; also, "morphism" is Greek for "form", and in mathematics the suffix is used for form-preserving mappings, such as isomorphism, homomorphism, holomorphism, automorphism. This is completely irrelevant):
1. Between chapters "Night" and "Intersection", I really had no plan for how Twilight and Simon were ultimately to meet. I had several concepts in mind: The original version had Simon stumbling into Ponyville at an astoundingly high Improbability (The Heart of Gold must have been nearby). I then reasoned that something would have to lead one to the other. At one point, Simon observed Rainbow Dash flying overhead during his Hundred Days in the Forest, and finally decided to head in her direction to find out what she was. That was when the chapter "Night" was called "Hundred Days" and was a collection of brief journal entries about Simon's exploration of the forest. It didn't work. At last, there was the idea that Twilight finds the ship (Retroactively named Pequod since I'm currently reading Moby-Dick) intact, with Simon inside. Upon reaching the door, Al tells Twilight to go away. Though very amusing, it was difficult to get the story going where I wanted with that scenario, since Al is a convenient medium through which Simon could communicate. As you can see, he had to die. Will he emerge from his tomb like Lazarus? The story as planned does not exclude this, so he may well make a cameo in the future. (Just because my handle on this site has "Alan" in it doesn't mean Al is my alter-ego in the story)
2. I'd be a bit cautious about appraising humanity as a space-faring civilization in my story: They sent one person on a short-term exploration, with no implied follow-up planned by way of colonization. It kind of reflects the 'because it's there' mentality behind the US Moonshot (which was totally worth it).
I think that's a question every HiE story has.
The next chapter is coming along very slowly. It's huge, by the way. My hope is to be able to release it on Christmas, as a gift.
What led you to my story, if I may ask?
3547477
I was pointed to this story when a question was raised on the HiE group, "What other stories are there about a mute protagonist?" It turns out there's less than a half dozen. Quite a few less than stories using the language barrier-- which can be just as effective a means of thwarting easy communication when two beings don't speak the same language and there's no handy-dandy universal translator device/spell to get around that so quickly that the barrier is removed by chapter 2. Personally, I love the language barrier plot device. It forces characters to really think and it's also painfully logical-- there's only one species here on Earth that speak/write and we have hundreds of languages... I can only imagine a basic translation spell (or a "common tounge" language) was almost critical to survival for ponies when you toss in a dozen other species all capable of speech and writing.
p.s. The other story was "Your Human And You".
3547996
The idea came to me from two sources:
1. In Planet of the Apes, from which most of the premise is derived, astronaut Taylor is shot through the throat and loses his voice. He can understand the apes but cannot be understood.
2. At the time I conceived this, I was living in Longueil, an all-French suburb of Montreal. I speak no French, and so I felt mute for the four months I worked there.
There was an earlier version that I took off the site, where there is a language barrier, but Twilight has a one-way spell that allows him to understand pony, but the ponies don't understand him. It was a mess.
I hope you enjoy my take on it.
Hustlin Tom was the one who mentioned my story. Friendship is Magic is all I can say.
Assuming he doesn't break his brain trying to puzzle out magic, he might find out he's been dropped into the middle of paradise. Granted, there's no Burger King, or humans, but otherwise it's an idyllic setting where the locals are frightfully adorable and accepting.
I find that your weaving of his non-invasive presence into the canon episodes rather nice but he will eventually have to go exploring... and get some answers from the Princesses. They're the only ones old enough to have an inkling of what happened a few thousand years ago. I have to wonder how much of a hand- er, hoof, the sister's had in the finishing off of humanity that we apparently started to do to ourselves-- I'm going to assume that in our highest moment of science, technology, and biological manipulation (making fantasy creatures into reality) we f'ed up the world and everything went crazy. Not quite the nuclear holocaust that would still leave most of the planet glowing in the dark for 10,000 years but a chemical/biological war. Remnants still all around like the Everfree forest and of course all the 'uplifted' and/or mutated animals such as ponies, dragons, minotaurs, changelings...
3549060
Naturally, it can't be as simple as "Equestria is Paradise". There's no drama in that. On the other hand, I don't enjoy the idea of writing Equestria as anything less than how it's portrayed on the show. So when Simon looks at the beautiful, colourful world around him, he sees a darkness in its history.
Yes, it's true that the chances of ponies speaking English very low. However, Equestria is in England, so if they're going to speak English, they'll be speaking it there. I did that very intentionally.
Screw celestia, not his world??!! My sister in Christ his kind were the rulers of Earth?? HE IS YOUR DAMN FORERUNNER!!!
Pisses me off.