• Published 25th Jan 2013
  • 3,951 Views, 309 Comments

Last - Alan Smithee



The rise of ponies, the future of Equestria and the last human.

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Sunrise

“PSSST! Simon! Wake up!”

Simon opened his eyes and blinked rapidly. The basement was black as pitch, save for the candle in the tiny dragon’s claw. Spike was halfway down the stairs. With the stairs obscured by the darkness, he seemed to be floating for a moment. The man pulled himself up and over to the dragon. Spike held out a scroll.

“It’s for you,” he whispered.
Simon inspected the scroll. Written in large letters on the side were the words, “Simon - Urgent”. He took the scroll, and nodded his thanks to Spike.

As Spike returned to bed, he mumbled, “It ain’t easy being the dragon of the house”

Simon flicked his flashlight. The battery was dying. He shook it until the light stopped flickering. He unfurled the scroll and held it under the straw-coloured beam.

It read, Meet me on the mountain before sunrise

He looked at his watch: Four o’clock. Sunrise was in less than two hours. He knew which mountain was meant. It was the most prominent mountain for miles around.

He laced his boots, climbed the stairs, and left the library in minutes. It was chilly, but far warmer than the winter had been. Winter had ended a week ago. Simon was still adjusting to the sudden change of season. The air was fresh. He brushed his hand along the side of the treehouse. It was wet with dew.

The day was still dark, but he could see the looming black silhouette of the mountain against the sky. He walked towards it.

He flared his nostrils as he walked. The smell of life begun anew saturated the air. He felt rejuvenated, even excited. He went at a steadily increasing pace towards the mountain.

It was four-forty when he got to the base of the mountain. No-one awaited him. He looked up, shrugged, and began to climb.

The mountain was so steep he had to climb on all fours. He couldn’t see well in the dark. He could only continue to reach up and find cracks and irregularities in the rock face to hoist himself up farther. The horizon began to glow: The zodiacal light. The sun was going to rise soon. He became tired. He heaved himself onto a flat, rocky outcropping, and rested. The sun would be up soon, and there was no sign of anyone.

He took a long drink of his canteen. For the first time, he thought of how he would get down off the mountain. The thought of descending the steep height made his stomach flutter.

“Hello, Simon.” came a voice from behind him. His already fluttery stomach gave him another jolt of surprise. He sputtered and coughed up some water.

He twisted around. There, in all her splendour, was Princess Celestia, bright and clear as though bathed in sunlight.

“I’m glad to see you again. I see you and Twilight Sparkle were able to reconcile your differences.”

It had been such a long time since they had last met, Simon had to think a moment to remember what she meant. He nodded.

“In fact, I understand you’ve made some good friends in Ponyville. I’m proud of you, Simon.”

These words instantly put a smile on his face.

“But remember who it was who took you in, took care of you, and who helped you make new friends in Ponyville. Without Twilight, you might not be here right now.”

His smile disappeared. Had he done something wrong by Twilight? Elation gave way to anxiety.

“Your letter,” said the Princess, holding the parchment he’d written her with her horn, “do you really know all that you wish to abandon? I don’t think you realize.”

He thought of what Twilight Sparkle would think if he had decided to leave on a whim. He felt guilty. He stirred uncomfortably.

A feathery wing gently fell across his shoulders.

“Simon, I don’t want to hurt you. You’re not a bad person.”

Simon felt the anxiety ease off. Celestia held the letter to her eyes again.

“You signed this letter, ‘Simon X’. Is that your real name?”

Simon shook his head.

“Were you trying to be something you were not?”

Simon shook his head. The truth was, Simon didn’t know what the ‘X’ meant. He didn’t remember anything about the day he changed his name. He hadn’t been much of a drinker before the night after he received his Masters. Afterward, he never touched another drop. It wasn’t until April the following year, when his tax forms arrived, that he found out his name had been changed.

Remembering all this, Simon couldn’t help but smile at the absurdity of the whole situation he’d found himself in.

Celestia lifted her wing and stood. The stars were almost gone.

“You do have a purpose in Equestria, Simon. You may find it closer than you think. Keep searching. You will find it.”

The sun peeked out over the horizon, rising and widening into a giant, blood-red circle kissing the horizon, hiding the town below from view in its glare. When he looked around him, he found himself alone.

He sat on the rock, his legs dangling over the edge, not moving, thinking.

He thought about Twilight Sparkle. He’d never thanked her for anything.
He thought about his life in Ponyville. What could he possibly do to make it worthwhile?
He thought about Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and even Rainbow Dash. He knew, in his heart, that they cared about him.
He thought about Rarity. He hiccupped.


He watched the sun rise to its peak. Down in Ponyville, the streets were bustling with life. He was higher on the mountain than he’d thought.

Was Celestia right? Was he missing something that kept him from finding satisfaction in life in Ponyville? What could it possibly be? What authority was she on the matter of his destiny? Did he owe a debt to Twilight for saving his life and taking him in? Was that his purpose?

He fell into an uneasy sleep on the hard rocks. He began to descend just before midday.

Ponyville smelled richer. The warmth of the spring breeze was like an affectionate embrace from a long-lost loved one. All the ponies were in high spirits as the Earth was reborn. He wandered the streets awhile. The ponies saw through him, as usual. He stood in the middle of the road, and watched the various colours of the ponies that rode by. He looked at every single Cutie Mark, as well.

He reflected on how comforting it must be, to have what they were meant to be stamped on their sides. At the same time, it was liberating to be a blank slate, able to do anything that appealed to him. He remembered his first year of University.

The hustle and bustle of the town all around him, he noticed things he hadn’t noticed in his five months (one month short of half a year, he thought) in Equestria: He saw the ponies line up courteously in front of the stands; he saw a select few ponies cut in front of others; not once were they challenged; he noticed the way the ponies traded and bartered.

He saw the prices of various goods on the signs in the stands. Without consciously thinking of it, he mentally worked out the value of various combinations of goods, something he had often done in his younger life.

His brain was working at a faster pace. It was as though he’d been only half-awake since his arrival, and his mind was no longer dormant. He began wondering why that was: Had he been so traumatized by all that had happened to him? Was it just seasonal depression? His skin felt electrified. He thought of his project to write down all that he knew, and found it totally ludicrous. A new idea was formulating in his mind, one that was doable and meaningful…

“Simon!” Twilight called. He shook himself out of his thoughts.

He jumped in surprise to see Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie approaching him, both wearing colourful miniature umbrellas on their heads.

“Boy, you sure got up early. Where’ve you been?” the purple unicorn asked.

He pointed to the mountain. Twilight furrowed her brow.

“What were you doing there?”

He couldn’t tell her without speaking. His stomach rumbled.

“Sounds like somepony’s hungry!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, “I know what we should do! Let’s show Simon how to bake cinnamon buns!”

“How’s that sound, Simon?”

He silenced his internal dissent, smiled, and nodded.

Before she moved, Simon gently tapped the umbrella on Twilight’s head. She looked up at it, and beamed.

“Oh, that! Pinkie Pie’s tail was twitching. That means something’s gonna fall!”

Simon raised an eyebrow. Was Twilight really given to such primitive superstitions?

“It’s true! I’ve been following Pinkie around all day studying her Pinkie Sense! We just got back from Froggy Bottom Bog. Pinkie said something would happen there, and let me tell you, it was a doozy!” Twilight and Pinkie Pie laughed.

Simon raised his eyebrows. Twilight Sparkle, the most learned pony he knew, had just conceded defeat to irrationality and superstition. He looked down at the unicorn with new eyes. She smiled up at him innocently, completely oblivious to the challenge she had made to him.

He looked over to Pinkie Pie prancing along the street. He was determined to understand the mind of the pink earth pony, or die trying.


Spike the Dragon stuck his head out the topmost window of the library, ready to send Twilight’s latest report to the Princess, when he stopped and looked up. With a crash, the Princess herself landed on the balcony in front of him.

“Twitchy tail?” Spike sputtered.

Wordlessly, Celestia took the letter in her mouth, and took off towards the sky.

“Holy Guacamole!” Spike said.

Author's Note:

http://youtu.be/UdyAoSXF9LU

This was basically done before Winter Wrap-Up was done, so that's why it came out so quick.


I'm looking forward to the next chapter ("Pinkie Pie: An In-Depth Study"), since it's a complete change in style, reminiscent of Chapter 2 which, according to one critic, was The Only Good Chapter. Whether that's true or not, the upcoming chapter will be a lot of fun to write.

I currently have a job, doing something not unimportant, something to do with the construction of nuclear reactors. I may or may not have time.