Chapter 1
Chapter 1, Uncle Spike
Well, I suppose I should start with the oldest of my friends, Spike. You see, when I was a young girl I never did anything but study. I always had my nose in a book and the only person I really ever talked with was Shining. Because of all the studying I did I drew a lot of attention from all the prestigious schools in Canterlot. But I turned down all of their admittance offers. There was only one school I was set on attending and when I got a letter in the mail saying I had earned their recommendation, my parents almost shot me out of a canon.
Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns is the most respected school in Equestria. Without a doubt, if you managed to get in you were considered to be ranked among the highest level of magic users on earth. It was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. But there was… one issue I had. Despite my willingness to learn, and my exceptional grades on the written part of the exam, I had difficulty actually implementing my spells. I could levitate things easy enough, even conjure some minor illusions, but what they asked of me for the final test… was to hatch a dragon egg.
But this wasn’t even just a dragon egg. This was an egg from a very special line of dragons the princess herself had bred. It was a hybrid between dragon and human. As if hatching a dragon wouldn’t have been hard enough!
My parents watched from the side of the class room as the proctors wheeled in the egg on a cart. I felt the butterflies in my stomach turn to stone just from seeing it. It radiated magical energy that I had never even imagined. It was so intimidating, just to stare at a harmless little egg! But despite my fears and overall anxiety over the thing I tried anyways.
I struggled against its force and tried everything I had read about dragons, which wasn’t much. It got to the point where I even tried to use Zebra tactics of chanting and dancing. But the proctors’ stares got the best of me. I gave up. It was just too much for me. I bowed my head in defeat and started to walk towards the door as my hopes of ever being a great unicorn crumbled away.
The universe however had a great deal of protest in that however since only seconds after I had decided to give up the windows outside glowed with all the colors of the rainbow and then a large explosion shattered the glass sending it spraying everywhere, it however turned to dust when my own power was unleashed as a result of the explosion
All I remember from that part was feeling a power unlike any I had felt before. It was so strange to me, like I knew it but it I didn’t. The power was overwhelming and had adverse effects on my surroundings as well, my parents and the proctors? Turned into potted plants from the very first shock wave , you’ve seen how grandpa stares at cactai...? That was because of me. The once formidable egg was hatched by the magic and after another wave of it overtook me it grew it into not just an adult but a full breed dragon! It had changed species entirely!
I felt my body lift up from the ground as the magic radiated off me like solar flares ;but a gentle presence made me come back to my senses. A hand on my shoulder lowered me to the ground gently and I felt my connection with the source of the magic fade away. When I could see again and I turned to see the Princess herself standing next to me.
I remember seeing her and thinking ‘Great, now I’ve died and gone to heaven… I hope Shining doesn’t cry too much.’ But I quickly realized I was very much alive when the soft cooing of a baby caught my attention. I looked back to where the egg had been and saw a tiny infant with messy green hair and a pudgy little purple dragon’s tail in his mouth. As he stared up at me with big round green eyes, I felt myself melt as he reached up for me and cooed again. I picked him up and the princess smiled at me.
“Twilight Sparkle,” she said to me, “You have passed your exam with flying colors. Butnow I have a different proposal for you. That much power takes years of intense study and training to control. Why don’t you become my personal pupil and I teach you how to put it to good use?”
I felt a strange power building up inside me and at first I thought it was the magic coming back for round two but the rapid beating of my heart assured me it was just pure childlike joy that filled me with energy this time. I danced around the room twirling the baby dragon in my hands as I did so. But he just giggled and clapped his hands like he was excited, too. My parents had already passed out from the shock of it all, I later learned that in my magical fit I had turned them into potted plants, yes much like you did once with Aunt Flutters, but I didn’t really notice since The princess herself was still talking to me. But instead she had just pointed to my upper arm and I grinned seeing the mark that appeared there. I got accepted into the school of my dreams, taken on as the princess’ personal student, and even got my cutiemark, all in one hour. You can understand when I say I was a bit overwhelmed with excitement. I even passed out. When I woke up I found myself in what would later(?) be my (?)room in the castle while I studied under Celestia, but I almost fainted again when I found the princess leaning right over me as she sat beside my bedside. I shot up like a rocket.
“Princess!!! I’m so sorry I did that I was just really excited that I’d gotten my cutiemark and passed the exam and then you took me on as your student and—!”!” She placed a gentle finger on my lips, promptly cutting me off.
“Twilight, my dear, please calm down. I understand your excitement but there is another issue at hand.” I then noticed that there was a bubble of golden energy surrounding a crying infant floating a few feet away. The bubble was blocking the sound but I could see very clearly he was upset. I gasped and she levitated him over to me and broke the bubble. He cried for a few more seconds before he seemed to notice her and then he stopped and his reddened eyes lit up and he cooed and smiled at me just like before.
“Thedragon?” “Princess, I don’t understand. Isn’t he one of yours?”
“He was indeed, but due to the overwhelming amount of magical power you used to hatch him he has formed a bond with you sealed by your very souls. Needless to say,” she said with a glance back at the infant,“once you passed out,he started crying and hasn’t stopped since.” I stared down at the infant and I felt panic rise within me. I was only a child myself! I couldn’t take care of a baby! He would interfere with my studies and I would never be able to accomplish my dreams if I had to cater to his every whim. That, and he was half dragon! What if he stayed a baby for decades?
The princess noticed my distress and I saw her smile ever so slightly. “Twilight Sparkle, please relax. While you stay here he will have a nanny to take care of him. But he will have to have something of yours that would have a lot of your aura on it so he won’t burst out crying while you are at lessons. Do you have something like that?” she asked with a small smile.
I thought for a moment before I pulled out a locket off from around my neck. It had been a present from Shining when I was born and I hadn’t gone a day since then without wearing it. I wrapped my hands around it and looked over at the cooing infant who looked at me with eyes of such warmth and admiration. I hooked the pendant around his neck and the effect was almost instant. He let go of his tail and held the foreign object around his neck up to his eyes and I saw him stare at it in awe. I smiled and I noticed his hair had spiked up in every which-way. I tried smoothing it down but his hair wasn’t soft like I had expected and was instead like tiny green needles against my skin. I retracted my wounded hand and bit my lip so as not to startle him with the yelp of pain I wanted to release.
“Owwww! He spiked me, Princess!” I whined softly as he stared at me his eyes round. “Huh… you’re… a little spikey huh?” That triggered a few gears in my head to start turning and soon a lightbulb went off in my mind. “That’s what I’ll name you!” I cheered with a grin.
“Spike…?” the princess questioned, “Twilight, dear, I don’t mean to offend but isn’t that name reserved… for pets?” I realized this with a start and rubbed my chin in thought. It came to me in a flash of brilliance.
“Spikeson Graventus Draconis Kaelopson VI.” “Or just Spike for short. I read in the Libraries you used to name your Dragons that, but stopped after the fifth died, so I wanted to continue it,” I explained to the princess. She of course was shocked that anyone had remembered the name at all, yet alone and eight year old would name someone after him. She smiled and nodded before announcing she had ‘royal duties’ to attend to. I would later find out this meant she was hungry and was going to go raid the kitchen in search of cake.
But Spike was still just sitting there staring at his new treasure with a happy expression. I then noticed that he remained unclothed and felt my cheeks heat up as I went to ask a maid if they had any clothes he could wear.
My first time dressing Spike was… a learning experience to say the least. I learned that baby dragons do NOT like to wear anything more than a diaper. And Faust forbid that they get put in footie pajamas. The servants were repairing the scorched furniture for weeks after that…
Spike grew, for the first few years at least, like a normal baby. But once he hit about five years old I noticed a significant decrease in his aging. The princess explained to me that this was normal for hybrids. But I was happy with this as it meant I could now have a wonderful assistant who was still as cute as a button…
Right on cue just said messy-haired assistant came down the stairs. No longer deserving of the title ‘cute,’ however, as he now looked around seventeen years old, the same age as Nyx, despite being well over thirty. He hadn’t changed much regardless of the growth spurt. He was still relatively scrawny, but you could see the muscles he had forming, his spiky green hair was tasseled every which way and his bright reptilian like eyes shimmered in the dim lights of the library’s living room. The only big changes in him were the two purple-and-green wings that now protruded from his back. They stretched with him as he yawned . He turned and grinned at them.
“I heard my name mentioned and woke up. What’re we talking about? My dashing good looks? My stunning display of muscle?” he asked flexing his very nonexistent biceps for them. Nyx giggled and Twilight rolled her eyes. He then noticed the big kettle and raised his eyebrows.
“She asked the question again,didn’t she?” he groaned. They both nodded and he sighed before sitting cross legged with them on the floor and poured himself a cup of tea. “Well go on then, don’t let me interrupt.” He said with a wave of his hand.
Twilight rolled her eyes and did just that.
Anyways, as I was saying. Spike was of course like my baby brother right from the start. He grew before my eyes and with him at my side it felt so much more natural staying in the palace. But of course, being half dragon came with its own set of issues and he would often get picked on for his heritage. I can remember one time in particular when I was thirteen and I was attending one of the seminars in the actual school itself, after all, just because I was Celestia’s student didn’t mean I didn’t have to go to classes like everyone else. But… despite the school being reserved for unicorns of a high magical standard, it didn’t mean that the students were necessarily of a higher state of mind… there were still bullies. Not many, but enough to make our life a living hell.
“Hey Spikeson…! Still chasing around your girlfriend?!” the leader of the pack of bullies sneered as we passed them in the hall. His name was RiftShot, a boy who was tall for his age but not intimidatingly so and who’s blonde hair was always neatly groomed and had burning eyes that could strike fear in a Manticore. His Special talent was centered around sports, unusual for a unicorn but not un heard of. His sidekicks were a scrawny little grey haired boy named Kolby who was a master at medical spells but had a rather unpleasant habit of causing more injuries than healing them, a girl who had short cut dark brown hair and black eyes that make yours look like they belong to a bunny she was also so large she looked like she could eat three of Kolby for breakfast, her name was PowerStar, when it came to weapon spells she was the master, she could summon an entire array of knives, daggers, and any other form of weapon and strike you down before you could even blink. But she was dumber than a rock and used her power to get into the school rather than her wits. The proctors apparently didn’t dare deny her for fear of being killed if they did.
Rift walked up beside us his minions following in his footsteps. I could see Spike try his best not to respond to their taunts but they had been going on for a while and he had had just about enough of it. He turned on his heel and glared up into Rift’s eyes.
“She ISN’T my girlfriend you blind bat, she’s my SISTER and I don’t CHASE her around, we just have all the same classes so I go with her!” he snarled. But Rift of course wasn’t buying it.
“She isn’t your sister dweeb. You’re a freaky dragon boy, she’s a unicorn. You ARE’T her brother. And how can you attend classes if you can’t even do magic?! Look at you! No horn, not an ounce physical talent at all, you can’t even breathe fire when by your age all the other little dragons can, and you’re the size of a runt! Why do you even hang out with this kid Sparkle? Oh wait, it’s probably because you’re just much of a freak as he I-“ Rift’s taunting Rant was interrupted by a rather well placed punch in the gut that sent him flying back into the school wall and formed a small crater in it despite the magical barrier that coated it. Spike’s eyes were slitted so thin you could barely see the pupil as he retracted his fist from the punch. Star rushed forward at him to defend Rift but she was sent flying backwards by a well-placed kick to her head and Kolby was about to lunge at him when his eyes shifted and stunned the grey haired boy in place.
“Tell your boss when he wakes up that I am FAR from physically weak, dragons have natural magic that controls the elements around them, like fire water air and the earth so I am quite capable of performing spells of that nature, and as for breathing fire…” He let a torrent of green flames set the grey hair on top of his head on fire. Kolby screamed and rolled on the ground trying to put it out. “I was BORN able to do that. Twilight just discourages it due to the fact that my fire destroy what it burns.” He reached out his hand and the fire came back to him like an obedient puppy. The grey haired boy now only had patches of hair left and his skull was singed only slightly. “Meaning that your hair won’t be growing back.” He smirked.
I was conflicted at that point. Here were three kids who had caused Spike so much emotional damage over the years he had been there with me, and who had disgraced him in every way possible from weggies, to swirlies, and even sometimes a real fist fight which he never fought back on since he hardly took any damage thanks to his skin being stronger than steel but who would always come back a little more hollow each day. But they were also living breathing human beings. And he had probably just broken more than fifty school rules. I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away before any more students could notice what had happened.
We didn’t stop running until we were back in the castle safely in our room with the door locked tight. “What… was THAT?!” I exclaimed ready to go into full on lecture mode. But his response made my words halt and choke me.
“I can handle being tormented by myself Twilight… but he insulted you. And that’s something I CAN’T let slide by.” He grunted at me.
I stared at him in shock for a few seconds before I hugged him tight enough that even a hybrid like him almost died. Yes I know it hurt Spike but at the time I didn’t really care. I just knew you were the best baby brother ever, and my best friend. Spike… are you blushing…? No? Oh well, on with the story then.
That wasn’t the first time your Uncle stood up for me, and as we would learn shortly after that, it wasn’t the last time those bullies would be back. You see, I didn’t know it at the time but as it turned out Rift’s father was the head dean at the school. And Spike here spent the next month in detention for what he did to them. He would have been suspended but being the little brother of the student of Celestia had its perks.
But the torments kept coming. And they got worse as junior high came to an end. You’re right Nyx, we SHOULD have told Celestia what was going on, but Spike wouldn’t let me tell her. He said he could handle it so long as they didn’t resort to violence anymore. Which they were all too scared to do now that they knew his capabilities. And speaking of that, that little incident is also what got this little twerp started on his boasting regimen. Yes Aunt Dash did help out a lot with that but that wasn’t until a bit later. In junior high the only person he could brag to was me… and Shining but there was a more competitive air between them than anything. Shining always told himself that if he could beat a dragon in an arm wrestle then he could be captain of the guard. Yes Spike, I know he still hasn’t beaten you. But he DID become captain of the royal guard, and now he’s a prince. So I think he still has one up on you.
Anyways, the last week of junior high was the worst. So much so that they even targeted me now. And I had been mad enough with them when they picked on Spike, but now they would corner me. So we devised a plan… a brilliant plan if I do say so myself. I don’t normally participate in pranks, yet alone ones made to publicly humiliate people, but this was my one exception. And I have still to this day yet to regret it.
We put it into motion using my connections in the palace and since Shining had just recently become a lieutenant in the guard I told him what had been going on and he of course agreed to go along with it. No body messes with us and gets away with it. So we set the bait. Meaning Spike and I walked right into their territory which they just so HAPPENED to claim right next to our lockers. There they were, waiting for us.
Kolby had his dark grey beanie that he always wore now that he was bald, Spike, wipe that smirk off your face, Star had thinned out a bit in the year or so they had been targeting us and now she was just a bulk of muscles, but her black eyes remained the same, still intimidating and it could still freeze a phoenix’s heart. No not you Pipsqueak calm down. But Rift was the one who had changed the most, physically at least. He had gotten taller that was for sure, he was taller than Star now and he had lost the little bit of baby fat he had had as a younger child. His years of athletic activities were definitely starting to show and the way all the other girls swooned over him made me sick. His deep red eyes still held all the malicious intent they had before but it only made me pause now. We had the advantage over him now there wasn’t anything he could do to us since it was the last day we’d be seeing him. He got an athletic scholarship for some big fancy school in cloudsdale and with a more advanced version of the cloud walking spell he could attend with ease.
They came up to us as we walked seemingly peacefully to the lockers to clean them out for our last day and of course just as Spike opened his it was slammed back shut as Rift leaned up against it.
“Hey Spikeson, gonna miss me when I’m partying with the Pegasi…?” He sneered. I could see it took every ounce of restraint in him not to send him through the wall.
“With all my heart Rift… now move so I can get my stuff…” he grumbled back to the blonde. Rift didn’t move though. And now Star was moving up on my other side while Kolby blocked the last possible exit route. We were trapped. I let a faint smirk touch my lips as everything was falling into place. But I replaced with a scowl to show I was displeased with the situation.
“Just let us have our last day in Peace Rift… you’re lucky I haven’t told the princess on you yet…” I almost snarled at him. I mentally patted myself on the back for how good of an actress I had become. But Rift’s scoff of superiority made my anger real.
“And who said I was talking to you nerd…? Stay out of this or you’ll get a lot worse than just petty insults today.” He threatened. My eyes narrowed at him but I kept my mouth shut. I saw Spike’s fist clench and I gave him a glance to tell him it was alright. He turned to face the bully again and stared him down despite his smaller size.
“You know what, I’m tired of playing coward… if you want a fight Shot, you’ve got one. Meet me in the court yard at lunch. Bring your cronies if you think they’ll give you a shot in hell at touching me.” He growled at the boy. Rift looked stunned for a moment before a smirk replaced it.
“You’re on Spikeson. Come on guys, let’s go get ready in the gym.” He said as he shoved Spike in the shoulder and walked towards the athletics department. His two henchmen followed with their own glares back at us. Spike sealed the deal with a wink and a wave good bye at them. It just seemed to make them angrier. When they were out of sight Spike and I high fived and then ran for the lunch room where everyone was waiting. You see, we weren’t the only people who had been picked on by those three. We rallied the forces of the school and found that we had a very reliable connection. They all lined up like military officers as I went by with Spike behind me carrying the checklist.
“Sunny, you got the word out to the school right?” I asked a girl who’s skin was sun kissed just perfectly and her hair was bleach blonde from how much sun she saw living on the beach. She pulled out her phone and saluted. Spike checked her off the list and we moved on to a boy who was even scrawnier than Spike but who’s blue hair and eyes shone like beacons to the world. “FlashPost, you’ve got the last school paper printing right now right…?”
“The last copy will be printed in about ten minutes, and my team is ready to spread it as fast as wildfire.” He reported.
I nodded and we checked him off moving onto a group of rather… homley group of boys who if Rarity ever saw she would have a heart attack on the spot just from the use of pocket protectors. “And our connection with the school security systems…?” I asked their leader. He pushed up his glasses and pulled out his laptop to reveal live monitors from all the cameras in the school.
“Connection enabled and we have the equipment to record it all during lunch.” Teck reported as his curly blonde hair fell into his face a bit. A gave an awkward smile and nodded coming to the last of the group.
“And the faculty and staff…?” I asked the girl who’s two tone neon blue hair made me question whether it was dyed or not and whose eyes remained hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses so that we couldn’t see them. Her mark of a music note was easily seen due to the sleeveless white jacket she wore.
“They’ll all be too busy having their ears blown out to notice a riot in the court yard.” She smirked.
“Thank you Vinyl… although you still haven’t told us why you agreed to do this. As far as we know Rift hasn’t done anything to you.” I commented to the girl. She waved her hand at me.
“What makes you think I just don’t like the idea of raising hell…? But to answer your question, it’s personal.” She replied. “I’ve got to go check on my studio before I leave. The guys said something about throwing me a goodbye party… Jeez it’s just high school…” she chuckled as she turned to leave. I looked to Spike but he just shrugged and checked her off before rolling up the list and setting it on fire to get rid of the evidence.
“We’re good to go then. Let’s all meet up in the courtyard in half an hour.” I ordered. They all gave us a salute before they walked off to their classes. I turned to Spike with a grin on my face. “Oh sweet Celestia I feel so excited Spike…! Are we really going to do this? Is it right to do this? What if it doesn’t go right and…” But my panicked rant was interrupted by him smiling and shaking his head.
“Relax Twi, we’ve got the upper hand this time remember? Besides, I think even Celestia herself would approve of this.” He assured me. I felt my spirits soar at that and nodded back at him with a smile.
“Thanks Spike. I couldn’t go through with this if it wasn’t for you.” I commented.
“You wouldn’t have THOUGHT about it if it weren’t for me.” He corrected. I rolled my eyes as he went on a rant about how he had personally come up with almost all the details but to be honest I don’t remember half of it. Oh don’t give me that look Spike, you know I tend to tune you out when you start to brag like Rainbow Dash.
But the time came. Everyone was released for lunch but instead of heading to the cafeteria like normal everyone went straight for the courtyard as word had spread via the biggest socialite SunnyDaze that there was going to be a showdown of the century in the courtyard today. I knew full well that Vinyl would be distracting the teachers so we wouldn’t get interrupted by something like the deans all breaking up the crowd. But I did however wonder what she was doing at the time. I got the story from her later so I’ll give you a bit of insight.
Vinyl looked up at the clock and then back over at her equipment, it was almost time. She walked over and strapped the machine onto her back and grabbed her trusty headphones off her desk. She took one last look at her mixing station before she walked out the door and shut it behind her for good. If she was graduating from junior high, then was going to take down the last thing that stood in her way from living a normal life. And nothing was going to stop her. Not even her father. She flipped the switch on the control panel of the portable bass on her back and pounding sound waves filled the halls as she ran through them like a maniac all the teachers running after her in hope of catching the widely known prankster. They didn’t have a chance in hell.
“Run Run Run, as fast as you can, you can’t catch me I’m Vinyl Scratch Baby!!!!” she announced through the mic that arched around her head. This only made the teachers of course, angrier and they pursued her even quicker.
I looked down at the watch on my wrist just as the old clock tower in the courtyard chimed noon. Just like clockwork students were gathered all around before the twelve chimes could end, and a certain trio were just making their grand entrance from the set of double doors that linked the gym and the courtyard. Rift was in a muscle shirt and already sweaty from the ‘warm up’ he and his cronies had gone through.
I heard Spike growl like a feral beast beside me. He took off his signature purple hoodie and handed it to me. “Hold onto this. I don’t want to get their filthy blood on it.” He snarled. I looked at him shocked but I knew it was part of the act. The crowd around us started chanting but I zoomed in on the few faces that mattered. Sunny and Flash who were standing next to one another gave me a thumbs up meaning that their parts were finished. The leader of the tech squad shifted his blue green eyes towards me and removed his glasses setting them in his shirt before he too gave me a thumbs up and I allowed myself to smirk ever so slightly as I knew that the cameras were all rolling for this final scene.
“Well well well… here we are Spikeson… ready to get your tail handed to you…?” I heard Rift sneer. But Spike wouldn’t be stooping to his level. Years of these guys making his life a living hell had taught him one very important lesson. How to dodge a punch.
I wish we had kept the video tape of this so you could see him in action yourself. But my mother of course threw it out when I brought it home so we’ll just go into detail here.
Spike was weaving in between all of their blows. If Rift was going for a face shot he ducked and Rift would tumble over him while his partners would go for a double blow from the sides and he would just back straight up and let them exchange blows to one another instead. Kicks he nimbly evaded with a short jump and he even got on top of Star’s shoulders and rode her like a bucking bronco as she tried to drag him off. It definitely earned us a laugh from the gathered crowd. And Rift was starting to get more and more frustrated.
But during all this I wasn’t idly sitting on the sidelines. Oh no, you know me far too well for THAT to be a possibility. While they fought I myself was preparing a spell. Channeling my magic into what was, at the time, a very difficult spell that required a large amount of magic to complete. But it would be worth it and I knew that as the giant hands on the clock were ticking by the time was fast approaching when our plan would move onto the final stage.
“Why… Won’t… you… stand… still?!?!?!” I heard Rift yell as he unleashed another set of frustrated blows towards Spike who easily maneuvered away from them.
“What’s the matter Rift Shot…? Can’t keep up with a little kid like me?” Spike laughed as he ducked under a spinning kick Rift sent his way.
“This isn’t a fight Spikeson…! You’re playing cat and mouse with me! Stop dodging and fight back!” He screamed in his frustration. It seemed his two henchmen had long since knocked each other over after exchanging more than a few stray blows. They caught their breath and stood to their feet slowly watching Rift grow madder and madder with rage. But Spike was keeping his cool and dodging his every blow like a regular ninja. The crowd was enjoying the scene and was even laughing for the first time not at Spike, but at Rift. And it was getting to him. He stopped trying to attack Spike and looked around him. “Stop laughing at me!!! You’re all supposed to be on my side!!!” he growled. The laughter stopped and now everyone just watched in mild discomfort. This wasn’t the cool calm and suave Rift they had known. This was Rift the bully, a lowly creature that had been the true face behind the handsome mask. And they were about to see the full blunt of his cruelty.
While Spike had let his guard down and turned his attention to me to see how the spell was going Rift took it to his advantage and knocked him onto the floor with one foul swoop of a punch. It hit so hard it even managed to make Spike bleed a little. Rift stood over him while he lay on the ground cradling his bloody nose. Red eyes bore into him and a terrible grin crossed his features as he planted his foot on Spikes chest and began to crush his ribs in under the pressure.
“What are you gonna do now freak…? Roast me with your fire…? Oh wait, isn’t that depended on your lungs? Huh… guess you can’t burn me if you can’t breathe huh?” he sneered as he forced the air from Spike’s lungs.
I was beginning to panic. This wasn’t part of the plan. Spike was never supposed to get hurt. But he was, right then in there I could see the pain written across his face. But I had a duty to fulfill and with the motivation of Spike being crushed under Rift’s brute strength I completed the spell in record time. I held out my hand to the tech leader and he threw me a microphone. I held it in my magic and it came to life with my voice.
“It’s over Rift.” I announced. His gaze shift towards me and I was almost paralyzed by the red gaze. Almost. “Look around you Rift. Look at the faces that used to cheer you on. And all of you look at him. Does this look like the Rift you know…? Or can you finally see his true colors like we always have? That’s right. I said we. You see. I isn’t just me and Spike he’s hurt here at school. And I intend to show you just what your precious pretty boy is REALLY like when you turn your backs” I flicked off the mic and tossed it into the crowd and stepped towards where Spike now lay trying to catch his breath since Rift had moved his foot off him. Red eyes glared at him as I did so and when I came nose to neck with him I glared up at him as well.
“Nobody picks on my little brother and gets away with it…” I snarled as my magic took hold and a pentagram of light energy filled the courtyard completely. Like ghostly beings memories of the bullied came to be seen in the air above the glowing lights. It showed Rift and company beating the tech squad senseless and then hanging them from the flagpoles in front of the school by their underwear. All of them having to be rushed to the hospital for blunt force trauma after that. It showed Flash being tortured and humiliated by Rift’s words over his ‘Silly’ dream of being editor and chief of the Equestria Daily. How the words hurt him to the point of shattering the camera his now passed father had given him for his tenth birthday and then burning all his manuscripts for stories he had written.
It showed how Rift had dated Sunny and then spread wicked rumors about her behind her back when she left him, causing all of her friends to leave her in the shadows and for her to grow into such an emotional wreck she even resorted to self violence, it showed the nights she would sit lying in the bath tub with slit wrists waiting for the end to come and for the pain of being alone to stop. Only for her to wake up in the morning and realize she had been saved by her parents and was put on antidepressants that only made things tolerable.
The crowd watched in shock at each revelation and Rift felt himself stabbed from every angle with glares of pure unfiltrated hatred. Star and Kolby however were just as shocked as the rest of the crowd and looks of guilt and overwhelming sorrow filled their eyes as they saw just what their ‘games’ had done to others. But Rift was just looking around as the glares grew worse and worse as the memories started to repeat themselves and they turned to the true villain. Then another set of memories started to be shown and these ones were ones he himself was very well aware of.
They showed a little girl of about three or four being taunted relentlessly for her ‘weird’ colored hair, since no one in her family had it. They showed how when she started to play music to try and escape his taunts he would break her CD’s and instruments and then walk off when her parents came to ask why she had destroyed her gifts. It showed her a bit more grown and he started to physically torture her now. Pulling on her hair and even cutting a lot of it off at one point just to make his point. For her to stare herself in the mirror every night and see HIS eyes looking back at her taunting her for being such a freak. She would smash the mirror and let the glass shards rip up her skin and bleed out into the sink. If her parents bothered to ask she would just say it was an accident, like always. They were too busy fawning over HIM to even notice her. The boy who was their favorite, who did everything they liked and she was just the blue sheep. The boy whose eyes she shared and hid behind her glasses so that no one would ever make the connection that they were brother and sister.
Vinyl walked out from the crowd that parted for her, her glasses now on top of her head and red eyes glared at her twin brother from across the circle of people. “Hello Brother, welcome to hell. Or as you have made it the last fourteen years, my life.” She snarled.
Rift glared back at her. “Well I can see why the others would project their miserable little lives up there for everyone to see, but what do you gain from it Victoria…? Who’s here to see your little sob story? Because it isn’t mom. She’s too busy getting ready for that party at the castle tonight to notice your pathetic attempt at getting some closer. And dad wouldn’t give you the time of day yet alone come out here to watch your little light show!” he laughed in his sister’s face. But all she did was smirk at him.
“But you see, brother of mine… if there’s one thing dad WILL do for me, it’s chase me down when I’m misbehaving… like say, blaring wubs all through the school enough to make plaster fall from the ceiling.” She sneered back. His red eyes faltered for a second as he started to back up and look behind her at the crowd of teachers that had been standing and staring in shock at the memories on display in the aura lights above their heads. His father was standing directly behind her a look of shock, anger, and disgust filling his emerald eyes.
“Richard Verman Scratch, GET YOUR DIMPLED SORRY ASS OVER HERE THIS INSTANT SO I CAN BEAT THE SENSE INTO YOUR TAINTED HIDE!!!!!!!!” His father roared over the crowd who all seemed to be pushed back by the sheer force of his anger. Rift looked petrified but Vinyl gave a smirk and grabbed him just as he turned to run. She picked him up and flung him towards their father like a rag doll. The coach’s magic levitated his son in front of him as he glared him down further before turning to his daughter and his gaze softening for a couple of seconds. “Vicks I…” he started but Vinyl payed him no attention as she slipped her glasses back over eyes and walked off collecting the portable speaker she had used before as she went. I saw him Sigh as he just levitated his son away leaving his daughter to do as she pleased.
I had watched all this with my jaw gaped open not believing anything I saw. Spike had regained his stature and stood beside me his nose finally back to normal.
“So THAT’S why she never takes off the glasses… huh… I thought she was blind or something.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders. That made me snap out of it and I giggled a bit.
“Spike, if she was blind how could she read all those books she checked out from the library about sound waves…?” I laughed. He thought about it for a minute but just before he could respond we were surrounded from all angles by our fellow tormented students in a giant group hug. This was, mind you, before your aunt Pinkie got me used to such things so of course my first reaction was one of panic. But when Sunny wouldn’t stop cheering and the techies were all sobbing together while Flash just gave us a watery eyed smile it made me relax a bit. In the distance I saw Vinyl turned back and smiling at us. She had her glasses off again and I noticed that instead of red they were now a soft magenta. I smiled back at her just as she slipped her glasses back on and turned to get into the car her father was throwing Rift into.
I didn’t see Vinyl again until I was well into highschool, but I heard from her that Rift was sent to reform school and then shipped off to a military academy when he was deemed ‘safe’. As for Star and Kolby, well, it took a lot of time but eventually people saw that they were truly sorry for how they had acted. They moved away but they popped up at a reunion a year or two before I found you and they seemed happy enough together. Although Kolby became what you would call a docile house husband and the only thing that really changed about Star was that she no longer flaunted her strength. But I digress.
“So what are we gonna do now…?” Spike asked. That was something I hadn’t thought of. But an idea quickly formed in my head.
“How about we go out for lunch at Donut Joe’s…?” I chuckled. Yes. Your ever studious mother actually suggested that we skip the rest of the day of school to gorge on sugary pastries for lunch. An offer which your uncle here gladly accepted.
“And that Nyx, is not only how I met your Uncle Spike, but how he showed me that true family isn’t decided by blood, but by the bonds love you tie yourselves together with.” Twilight concluded. Spike snored beside them and Twilight made a face at him before sighing and shaking her head. “Nyx, be a dear and go get me a bucket of cold water… and a permanent marker. We’re going to teach your Uncle a lesson in manners.” She mused. Nyx beamed and ran off to find her supplies. When she had gone Twilight looked over at the spikey green haired teenager and a soft smile crossed her lips as she leaned over and kissed his forehead gently. “Thank you… for standing up for me all those years ago… I wouldn’t be who I am now if you hadn’t.” she whispered. His sleeping form responded by letting a giant glob of drool drip down onto her. She made a face and her resolve for teaching him a lesson returned. “You asked for it…~” she hummed.
(***re-edited version by ElDante seriously, you guys need to see this.***)
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So wait.... NYX as in Past sins or...?
Yes, indeed, the very same. Sorry, I thought I put that in my notes... perhaps it was in my future chapters that I have written out... Oh well. Yes, Nyx is from Past Sins. She isn't mine.
Hey.. I know you!
This caught my eye on the front page, just by chance.
I recognize you as one of my own readers--you're following my "One is Silver" at the moment.
Eeyup. Like I said, I like the stories that do the mane 6 justice, and yours is one of the best I've read so far.
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Well, time to figure out how to use this "Read Later" function.
In the meantime, if I could offer any help? It looks like you know where you're going with this, but your writing still looks a little shaky. My own advice would be to hand-write everything before typing it. It allows you to give yourself a thorough proofread as you type it, and that way you're not only posting a rough draft. The computer interface also seems to inhibit the creative flow--don't ask how, but I've seen it before. It may seem like quite the hassle, but that's the thing about art, really: if it isn't worth it, it isn't worth it.
I'll also give a deeper review and some editing, if you'd like.
The Comments are noted and well accepted in my books R.O.Y and Dante, constructive criticism is one of my favorite parts of being a writer, as for my methods in wirting and words choice though, this is how I normally talk and even when typing I find it a hard habit to break, although I do understand your concern in that matter. But I can also adapt to charater's speech patterns. Growing up where I have you tend to learn to adapt to what's around you. So if it's in character rest assured it will be fit to a key. But, as for my grammatical errors, I tend type really fast when I get into stories and they tend to get lengthy as well as the, let's see... 10,000... 9,000... and 15,000, word chapter's I've already written ahead of this will prove. So reading them over again is tedious to say the least. So if ou happen to catch something that is within my capabilities of correcting I would love it if you make it known. But I can say without a doubt that if these first two parts aren't pleasing that the next few will be, I think they fit the criteria you stated before R.O.Y.
Damnit I'm in tears because of this
I recommend getting an editor or some such because to be fairly honest I had trouble reading that wall of text.
Good read either way, going in my read later tab.
1930240
There is definitely a problem with writing how you speak. It can seem natural, but it often leads to sloppy structure and choppy flow. Take your time with it (and as I said before, hand-write it first!). I for one definitely don't write like how I speak. Writing is fairly easy for me--it's speaking that's labored.
The dialogue seems fine as far as it seems in-character, but try finding ways to pace it more smoothly. Try breaking the quotes with outside-of-dialogue text instead of all of the ellipses (...).
I'm actually impressed to see an attempt at descriptive writing, moreover that it doesn't disappear once the dialogue starts, but it's still pretty choppy as is and doesn't really flow well.
I would have to say you should think about breaking the write-as-how-you-speak habit, and try focusing more on how it flows.
And above all, hand-write it first. I simply cannot stress enough how much this helps. You'd be surprised, really.
Spike: "Stunning display of muscle..."
"There's nothing there!"
Me:
Spike:
Rejoice! The day has come! The corrections are finally in!
For some finishing touches:
(delete space)
I don't understand the purpose of the "(?)," but they strike me as unprofessional and should be removed for the same reason as the tilde.
And you can put "hr" in brackets to produce a horizontal line for when Twilight is interrupted, like so:
And various double-spaces you can just use Ctrl+F to find.
Re: Author's Note
It's good that you credit Nyx to someone else (Pen Stroke), but you don't really have to give credit to Hasbro or Faust here. If you're posting it to this site, then it's pretty much implied.
I'm not sure why, but I giggled at that. "However" needs commas to separate it into an appositive, though.
I thought this was clever. My spellcheck says "cacti," though. And try to rephrase so that "That was because of me" becomes implied.
Overall, I'm glad to see this improved, with your own touches filling in my thin spots. Nice job.
I hope the feedback on style and the like will leave a good mark on you for the future. I have faith in this story, but from what I've seen, it still needs serious help. Perhaps if you'd be so kind as to go back and do second drafts for me to edit instead of something so raw? I'm sure things will go far more smoothly if I have less to trudge through.
Take care.
--El Dante, TLyF
[EDIT]: Also,
Needs space, and the quotes should just meld together and disappear.
I'm getting a sense of an "how I met your mother" type story. She asked for the alicorn story and yet she told nyx of how she meet spike and learned a lesson. Also, WHOA NYX IS IN THE STORY!!
Great story so far really enjoying it... espically after i rewatched well let mr plinkett explain my pain and suffering
You know, when I read this I'm reminded of Doctor Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cincinnati. GOD, they would get along so well.