Dec
4th
2015

For the both of you who remember me, I'm sure you've grown disheartened by my lack of content for the past year or so, and my occasional promise to return, which has so far only proved empty. I wish I could say the reason I haven't been writing was for the lack of time, but truth be told, I've got plenty of that on my hands these days. It's not lack of ideas or inspiration, either. It's closer to problems with motivation, but it's more complicated than just "I can't be bothered." To explain it properly, I should start with my reasons for writing (specifically One is Silver) in the first place.

I haven't touched it in a while, but there was a time where I wrote feverishly day after day. That's because back when I first started writing it, I was in a rather dark time in my life, and Silver was:

1. My pride and joy. When I posted the first chapters online, and even more so after all of horizon's help with editing it, people liked it. That felt good. I felt proud of it, and proud of myself for doing something well. At the time, it felt like the first reason I had to feel proud of myself in a long while. But as I learned and improved, I slowly became intimidated by my own expectations I set for myself in terms of writing quality. This has since been a major contributing factor in a viscous cycle of procrastination.

2. My retreat. Being honest, I'm an escapist by nature. Thinking about worldly concerns has always been a major stressor to me, and I almost compulsively find ways to get away from it all. For much of my life video games did the job, but during a particularly rough year of high school, there was too much work to do in a given day to get the permission from my parents. So instead I turned to sneaking writing in class, when I could afford not to pay as much attention. And when I couldn't write about it, I could at least obsess over it to much the same effect. (And obsess I did.)

3. My "obligation." That's what I called it back then, but in truth the same could be said for why I stopped writing it: it began to feel like something I was forcing myself to finish instead of something I was doing on my own terms. But why did calling it my obligation help me write it back then? Because I needed one. Sad as it was, back then was a time where I needed a reason to keep on going, and Silver provided me with a sense of purpose. Fortunately, I've been sorting all this stuff out over the past several months, and no longer feel the need for that kind of lifeline, but as a result I've also stopped clinging to Silver so closely.

In other words, a big part of why I haven't been writing for Silver is because I've since been getting mentally healthier in recent times. I've sought help, and received it. Silver is no longer something I need. The thought of working on it more still intimidates me, though, and procrastination is still one of my worst habits. (It's always sad when the thing I'm using to escape becomes the thing I'm trying to escape from. :ajsleepy:)

That all said, I do still hope to finish it. Not because I feel pressured to, but as a favor to myself, and to prove to myself that I can (my same reasoning behind getting my first job, the thought of which had always terrified me). My attitude toward it has changed greatly, and I feel more distanced from my own story these days, but that's not to say my heart's not sill in it. There are even some parts I now feel embarrassed of formulating into the main plot, but I think I'd rather keep them in there than trying to rework the whole thing.

I'm even considering trying a new approach to writing it to play better to my current train of thought regarding it. It used to be that I would obsess and hyper-focus on the current chapter I was writing, but lately my thought patterns have been more sporadic, jumping across different points in the story. I feel that if I just write what comes to me as it comes to me, even if it means starting a chapter in the middle, writing a few paragraphs for it, then putting it down to start another one, then at least I'm making progress and have something to work with towards a rough draft. It might make update times unpredictable, but better that than never.

For the few of you who cared enough to read all this, thank you, and I hope to make up for my absence soon.

Report El Dante · 83 views · Story: One is Silver ·
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#13 · 208w, 1d ago · · ·

>>521729

Sure thing. Oh, and tell me when you get those next drafts up. I'd like to see how it looks after a polishing. A little more grace with the jokes and typos and I might just change my mind.

Just as a completely unrelated side-note, I don't consider myself or other members of the community to be ponies. I am a Humanist (an actual philosophy). I have a story up here, The Princess Will Save Us, where I had to use the "everypony" thing everywhere, and I couldn't stand it. I was grinding my teeth the whole way through. If you'd like to read it, I must apologize that it hasn't been edited and I feel like one part in particular was far too weighty (ironically). I wrote it a little while back as a breather from my main project (which is humanized) before my mentor took me in. I might get around to fixing it up one of these days.

#12 · 208w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Yo. Thanks for the constructive criticism. We can agree to disagree without ponies down voting your comments. I appreciated your mares vs. stallions comments.

#11 · 213w, 4d ago · · ·

>>445558

Absolutely.

(Yay! A fan! :rainbowkiss:)

Sorry not much has changed about that progress report. Pace is rather slow, so it's still mostly up to date.

Also, I'm probably resigning from the publishing offer and the deadline it entails, but I wouldn't hope to slow down.

#10 · 213w, 5d ago · · ·

Hey are you still working on "one is silver"?

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A Motivational Progress Report on Silver [1/2/14] (I really need to get back on this.)

About 40 more conceptualized chapters.

Sense: In editing

Boundaries: In progress

[Me, struggling to stay afloat]

Trixie's Chapter: Split in two, first one waiting to be typed

Nocturnea: Waiting to be typed

CMC chapter: in typing (Typist has misplaced the alpha sheets and only recovered a partial data file. I'll probably just start over.)

[My typists It's all me from here on out. Thanks for all your help.]

White Rabit (working title): Typed

Hatching: Typed

Here Lies Rainier Apple: Typed

Dog and Pony: Typed

Shining's first chapter: Typed (File lost, must be typed again.)

Moonfall: Typed

Dirt: Typed

Biggs & Wedge: Typed

(Spot reserved for Fluttershy's chapter)

Coud Duity: Typed

[Horizon, drowning]

When Comes the Night: Edited, awaiting release!

Prologue: Fully published!

Pinprick: Edited

New Pastures: Edited, maybe I'll come back to it.

Safe and Secure: Edited to satisfaction!