Party of Two
Vaas was dehydrated. He hadn't had anything to drink all day and carrying his prey and meal was difficult. The pony was heavy, about 150 pounds. While Vaas had carried fully grown men in body armor a couple times, he also had water. His only break was that it would be night soon and the temperature would go down.
"At least it's only about a quarter mile to the cave, cause I'm fucking pissed off and hungry."
He covered the last stretch in only a couple minutes. Once inside, he dumped his 'precious' cargo against the cave wall. He sat down and started to build a fire deeper in the cave while humming 'Do You Believe in Magic' to himself. It took some effort and a lot of swearing, but he was able to get a fire going.
"Okay, now it's time to tie up this bitch."
He turned his attention back to the yellow pony on the cave floor. He set to work using some vines to hogtie the pony and to bind her wings to her body.
"Hmm, she could still run away in the night. Oh well, if she does that then I'll blast that bitch back to the stone age."
Vaas subconsciously went for his canteen again. When he brought it up to his lips again, he remembered that he was out of water.
"YOU STUPID FUCKING CANTEEN, I'LL RAPE YOU WITH A FUCKING FLAMETHROWER!"
He threw it deeper into the cave. When he expected to here a crack from hitting a rock, he heard a splash.
"What the fuck?"
Now curious, Vaas went further into the cave to where he had thrown it. Sure enough, there was a stream. Vaas just stared at the stream for about three seconds before plunging his head straight into it. He took in as much water as he could. Only once his thirst for water had been quenched did he remove his head.
His victory was short lived as his canteen floated down the stream, unnoticed by the psychopath. His thirst now under control, he turned his attention to the fire at the mouth of the cave.
Vaas wasn't a cook by any means. He had people to do that for him. What venison he had taken with him would never turn into a five star dish. Rather it would stay a measly two star dinner that was edible, if only because it was cooked. He prepared what he had and started to roast it. The smell made his stomach growl in ravenous hunger. Even if this meal wasn't anything better than decent, it would be the best one Vaas had had in a while.
While the fire slow-cooked the deer, Vaas's attention turned to the pony he had captured.
"Seriously, what the fuck are you. And do you taste good?"
Vass started to drool at the prospect of devouring his first pony. If he was back on his island, he would've had Sanchez make something gourmet out of her. Ribs probably with that special barbecue sauce. The one with the snake venom and tiger blood in it.
It took some soft sobbing to make Vaas snap out of his stupor. That damn pony had finally woken up.
"It's about fucking time you woke up. Now me and you are going to get to know each other a little better."
The pony didn't respond. It opted to continue to cry to itself.
"HEY! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!"
The pony cried louder.
Vaas was getting sick of the lack of attention.
"Okay, I'm sorry for yelling at you. Lets try this again..." He grabbed the pony by the throat and pinned it against the wall so it's head was facing his. "Better? Good, lets talk. You can start by telling me what the fuck you are?"
The pony tried to speak, but no words came out.
"Do you need help to speak up. Don't worry, I can fix that..." Vaas let the pony go and shuffled over to the deer leg he was roasting. Pulling out his knife, he cut a piece off and took it back over to where the pony was crying.
"I know that we got off on the wrong foot, so lets start over..." He once again grabbed the pony and pinned her against the wall. He used his hands to force her mouth open. Once it realized what Vaas was going to do, it struggled with all it's might. Unfortunately, it wasn't that much. Once it's mouth was open, he shoved the piece of meat down the pony's throat and clamped it's mouth down. The near raw meat wouldn't have tasted good anyway and Vaas read in a book somewhere that ponies can't eat meat. He thought this plan was ingenious. And it was. The pony was forced to swallow the piece so it could breathe.
Vaas removed his hand from the pony's nostril and said. "See, now look at what you made me do. If you had just answered the simple question."
It's sobbing was increasing from the act it just performed. This pissed Vaas off so he back-handed the pony, hard. It's sobbing was stopped for a couple of seconds before continuing again.
"WHERE THE FUCK AM I?"
It muttered something.
"SPEAK UP YOU FUCKING CUNT!"
t-the Everfree F-forest.
"I'm sorry, could you say that again.
"T-the Everfree F-forest."
That didn't help Vaas at all. If anything, it was just information that he already knew. "Who and what are you?"
"I-i'm F-fluttershy. I-i'm a pegasus p-pony."
"What the fuck is a pegasus pony."
He didn't get an answer. The meat had finally gotten to it's stomach and the pony wretched up all of the contents of said stomach. All over Vaas.
They both just stared at where Fluttershy had just puked. This staring lasted for a couple of seconds before Vaas's rage caught up with himself. In order to sate it temporarily, he decked the pony in the head, knocking her out once again.
"Fucking pony, FUCKING DYING, FUCKING BRODY, FUCK YOU JASON BRODY!
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Pretty sure this needs a dark tag.
Making 'Shy eat deer?
1836387
This is nothing compared to what I have in store
The definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
1836399
...this intrigues me.
Proceed.
aaaaaaaaaawww yeah lets keep the badassery going!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1836399 I shall be looking forward to it
Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?
1836880 Shit
1836880 OH FUCK ILL RAPE YOU WITH A FLAMETHROWER .
1836880
Well shit he found my story.
4/5ths of this was the combination of a crappy HIE story where the character just swears all the time and every generic crossover attempt.
There were some pure gold paragraphs in the second chapter.
The thing that made Vaas such a great antagonist/Villain in farcry 3 was that he very rarely showed up. But when he did shit got real and you knew something crazy was going to happen.
1837781
I appreciate the negative feedback and your right. The majority of this is just your standard HiE story. It's hard to make it not sound generic in all honesty. And Vaas was great because of how little there was of him. It made all of his appearances epic.
What I am trying to do however, is give a different perspective on how Vaas functions. Its hard to do with how little there is with him. Its hard because of how eccentric he is. But this is a new crossover that hasn't been done before. That's why this is popular.
I know that it may sound like I'm making excuses about why this sounds generic, but I'm trying to pack for a two week vacation while simultaneously writing a story. It may sound easy, but I don't have that much experience at either.
All in all, I appreciate and respect your given opinion and will try to take it into account. If half of my comments were people's honest opinions, then I would be extremely happy. However, as that probably won't happen, then I will take what feedback I get and try and improve on my writing.
1837836 I really love the story so far hope I can see more soon. Have a nice vacation!
I really like your story, and I understand how you feel about packing and being an inexperienced writer. I can just tell you that it will get easier the more you write, but if you want; here's some advice: Don't strain yourself, write at YOUR own pace, not the pace others want you to write. Still, awsome story bro!
Hey, I was going to do a Vaas in Equestria story too. I guess I better throw my first chapter of 9.700 words in the dustbin.
damn his pissed
This. I like.
1836880 Yes yes you did
MOAR
Good good i.qkme.me/3qtg5p.jpg
b-a-d-a-s-s
1840966
No, don't do that. I can't write that well and another take on Vaas would be awesome and stuff
1836560 no. thats angry birds. insanity is a mental condition where the insane person/other life form cant tell fantasy from the real world
2057966 That definition is from an excerpt once said by Einstein.