Very very nice, I was wondering when/if Vinyl would make an appearance. Based on Tavi's actions before getting to the bar and meeting Vinyl the next chapters have potential to be very very spicy. Keep it up good sir author, I'll continue to stalk.
Listening to One Trick Pony by Deadmou5 while reading this: almost died from all the lols. After a quick and drunk escelation of mare on mare action and some unfourtunit miss spellings, I enjoyed this story and am very curious to see how Lyra and more importantly Octavia react to this whole fiasco. As the denizens of the interwebs say: MOAR!
1952724 As far as sexual encounters go with vinyl go I can't say. My friend has given me the freedom to take the plot wherever I may chose so, that being the case I have to undertake where to head this story to, so I am uncertain about the sex scenes at the moment. I can however say that she will be a major role in being the antagonist in the story.
1948525 Did you mean Bon-Bon and Lyra per chance? instead of Vinyl and Bon-Bon. 1949949 And moar you shall have! 1948450 Indeed, but I suppose things escalate quickly in all or most relationships.
Octavia shuttered under her sheets as she heard Lyra scream her name.
"shutter" - to close off - "Octavia shuttered the window, blocking off the view" "shudder" - to tremble convulsively - "Octavia shuddered under her sheets."
She continued to struggle causing Octavia to loose her balance
"loose" - relaxed, opposite of tight - "That knot is loose and will come undone in the storm" "lose" - to fail to keep control of - "She continued to struggle causing Octavia to lose her balance"
There's also a whole slew of grammatical errors that are far too numerous for me to bring up in this format. I would highly suggest having an editor go over these chapters. As they are right now, they're nearly unreadable. I couldn't even finish up this chapter because the errors made it difficult to read.
You've got a neat story idea here, but your grammar is atrocious. Please, find yourself a good editor so that bad grammar doesn't ruin yet another good story.
Commence read.
Well first the incident with Lyra and then meeting Vinyl.
That escalated in rather quick manner.
(Joke) Alt. Title: Lyres And Cellos: It's Like A Mozart Symphony
All I'm wondering now is what Bonbon and Vinyl are doing.
Fun. Be interesting to see how this plays out. Thanks.
Can'twait for the next chapter!!!!
1949008 heh, I'm glad to hear of your anticipation
Very very nice, I was wondering when/if Vinyl would make an appearance. Based on Tavi's actions before getting to the bar and meeting Vinyl the next chapters have potential to be very very spicy. Keep it up good sir author, I'll continue to stalk.
Listening to One Trick Pony by Deadmou5 while reading this: almost died from all the lols.
After a quick and drunk escelation of mare on mare action and some unfourtunit miss spellings, I enjoyed this story and am very curious to see how Lyra and more importantly Octavia react to this whole fiasco. As the denizens of the interwebs say: MOAR!
No.
1951883 that's fine.
Will Vinyl play a big roll in this?
Great story though, it has a plot and not just clopping.
1952724 As far as sexual encounters go with vinyl go I can't say. My friend has given me the freedom to take the plot wherever I may chose so, that being the case I have to undertake where to head this story to, so I am uncertain about the sex scenes at the moment. I can however say that she will be a major role in being the antagonist in the story.
1949882 Hazaa! I pleased my stalker.
1948525 Did you mean Bon-Bon and Lyra per chance? instead of Vinyl and Bon-Bon.
1949949 And moar you shall have!
1948450 Indeed, but I suppose things escalate quickly in all or most relationships.
1958421 It's so ingenious! It can not fail!
1963271 And more you shall receive! A new update tomorrow.
yeaaa more please
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/33431471.jpg
theres the tavi/vinyl moment
I know the answer to the first why! It's because she was still partially drunk and tired!
Ok seriously someone needs to explains the oatmeal joke to me I know it started with pinkie pie but I've only ever heard the punch line
MORE HOMONYMS!
"shutter" - to close off - "Octavia shuttered the window, blocking off the view"
"shudder" - to tremble convulsively - "Octavia shuddered under her sheets."
"loose" - relaxed, opposite of tight - "That knot is loose and will come undone in the storm"
"lose" - to fail to keep control of - "She continued to struggle causing Octavia to lose her balance"
There's also a whole slew of grammatical errors that are far too numerous for me to bring up in this format. I would highly suggest having an editor go over these chapters. As they are right now, they're nearly unreadable. I couldn't even finish up this chapter because the errors made it difficult to read.
You've got a neat story idea here, but your grammar is atrocious. Please, find yourself a good editor so that bad grammar doesn't ruin yet another good story.
f... i got wet...