MLP: TCR

by Omlliw

Jesus Christ...(My heart's beatin' like a rabbit)

About 20 minutes later, Ghost finally recognized his studio in the horizon, standing out like a tarantula on an angel's dress. Next to the studio was a figure standing next to what looked like a tree, and another, winged figure was hovering above the studio, pushing a cloud. As he approached, the flying figure's face came into view, wearing a shocked expression.
"You're John Conquest?" Rainbow Dash asked. Ghost clenched his fists, and shouted in the direction of the studio.
"YOU MEAN YOU TOLD HER-" the Texan yelled, before unclenching his fists, and taking a deep breath.
"Did you really bring this house with you all the way from Appleloosa?" Ghost just stared at the cyan pegasus, before walking into the studio. Applejack was in there, staring intently at the walls.
"Are we gonna have to make a hole in the wall to get the machine working?" Ghost asked.
"Eeyup. Ah reckon we should take it out round about here. Should be done in a few minutes!" Applejack replied, pointing at a spot in the wall.
"Let's hope my insurance covers it." Ghost slinked outside again. On the way out, he grabbed Fluttershy's tree costume and moved it around to the side of the studio. "Come on, rainbow hair, move that cloud!" Rainbow Dash moved the cloud above the tree costume. "It's too high, it needs to be closer!" As Rainbow gently moved it down towards the ground, Ghost grabbed onto it to pull it down as well. Unfortunately, this set off the cloud, and a lightning bolt flew out of it and hit Ghost's open hand. Ghost screamed as if he had just had a call from Tri$ha. He was sent flying through the air, and slammed into the studio wall, knocking a huge hole in it.
Everything went dark.

***

When Ghost came to, yet again, he was in an unknown environment. Something told him he still wasn't in Texas. Rats.
"Where the hell am I?" Ghost moaned. He was wearing a hospital gown, but underneath he realized he was shirtless; his skin was very cold. A glance around the room told him that he was in some sort of hospital bed. Two pegasi were either side of Ghost-one was yellow, the other was sky blue. "What happened to me?"
"Oh, thank goodness you're awake, Mister Ghost!" Fluttershy said. "That lightning bolt sent you pretty far, huh?"
"Why am I shirtless?"
"Well, the lightning somehow managed to electrify your shirt. It was so full of holes we decided to throw it away. Would you like us to make you a new one?" Fluttershy asked.
"As long as it isn't a frilly, fruity shirt, I'll take that offer. Who's gonna do it? You?" Ghost pointed at Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash simultaneously.
"No, no, no, we'll get Rarity to do it. She's a pro at making shirts."
"Where's Applejack and Pinkie Pie?" the Capitalist groaned.
"They're back at your house. The lightning not only knocked you unconscious, but it's actually got that machine working again. They decided to send SOS signals via the broadcast until you're OK again."
"Oh God," gasped Ghost, "I hope the fruits don't do anything stupid."

***

Applejack and Pinkie Pie were in the studio. Applejack was wearing headphones, while Pinkie Pie was wearing a mining light. Applejack had brought over a large barrel of apple juice, and Pinkie was opening each of Ghost's cans with a knife and filling them with up. "OK, everyone, can ya hear me? Ah hope so. Ah'm Applejack, and-"
"And I'm Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie shouted.
"We've bin lookin' through yer usual host's previous shows, and we think we know what ta do. So, let's take it from the top. 612, Radio Equestria."
"My man, Herman 'Sugar' Cain, is a nigger!" A splice, of course.
"Did Ghost really say that? Ah, well. 732, Radio Equestria."
"-Cos I'm a big, fruity-ass, fruitbowl, gay, bastard that's taking it in the pooper..."
"Geez, Ghost really reveals a lot of his personality on the air. 754, Radio Equestria."
"Can I throw a party for your granny's funeral? We'll make cupcakes out of her for dessert!" This wasn't a splice, but a feminine, over-excited voice. It sounded rather like Pinkie Pie. Both mares' mouths were agape now.
"Pinkie Pie, what in Equestria did you just say?" Applejack asked, nervously. Pinkie had some sweets in her mouth, and could only respond with a garbled tongue. "This is weird. DJPenguin, Radio Equestria."
"-And screw all you bastards that are criticizing me for, uh, drinking afterbirth." Yet another splice. Applejack gagged.
"DJPenguin, did he actually say that? 219, Radio Equestria."
"Black man, in a white man's town, he's got trouble...
Get in his way, he's gonna cu-"
"Pinkie, do ya see what's going on here?" Again, Pinkie's sweets made it impossible for her to talk properly.
"Diaaaayaaayuuh!" she protested.
"Look at the ponies in here, just look at 'em!"
"Akaaayuuwaah!" Pinkie Pie got up, and walked out.
"OK, that just about does it. Ah'm outta here, everypony." Applejack played Ghost's outro, and followed Pinkie Pie to the hospital.

***

"You two did WHAT!?" Ghost hollered.
"We took over the show for you. We were tryin' to get a help message across to somepony, but all we could hear was you sayin' you were a fruitbowl!" Ghost growled in fury at the remark.
"That wasn't me! They were splicing jerk-dicks!" At this point, a stallion dressed up like a doctor walked in, levitating a clipboard with his horn. "When I get out of here...PUNITIVE DAMAGES!"
"Good news, Mr. Conquest: Your injuries were only minor. If it wasn't for that juice box, that lightning bolt would've almost certainly kept you hospitalized for the next few weeks." Ghost said a silent prayer, thanking whoever first invented apple juice. "You're being discharged. Have a nice day." At that, two more stallions wheeled Ghost out of the hospital, while he shouted "PUNITIVE DAMAGES!" at the top of his voice. Fluttershy tuned to Rainbow Dash.
"You get back to the studio. I'll go find Rarity," the timid pegasus said.
"Roger that, Fluttershy!" Rainbow sped out of the open window, back towards the studio.

Comments

[Controller624]

[Omlliw]

1875695
:D

[blade pony]

I WANT MY SHRIMP BACK

[Controller624]

1876370 sorry too funny

[CelestialScribe]

This is progressing wonderfully, I want more trolls.
I also really miss Ghost now.

[Omlliw]

1878892
I'm taking the calls and Twitter names from random DarkRazorZ videos. Next one is Chemotherapy I believe, so keep an eye out.

[Baxyratty]

Why do i see aj actually running a radio equestra? lol i'm capitalizing on apples baby! WOO HAHAHA!

[Useless Machine]

When is cans.wav going to happen?