MLP: TCR

by Omlliw

True Capitalist To The Soul (till the bullet hole)

Applejack sighed a deep sigh, for the news that was about to unfold was horrifying. Worse yet, she couldn't tell a lie.
"Okay, here goes."

***

"Back when you were hit by that lightning bolt, Pinkie and I decided ta run your broadcast for a bit, send out SOS signals, ya know that part."
"So why are you telling me it?" Ghost snarkily responded.
"But what ya didn't know," Applejack carried on, "is that Pinkie got a great idea about running it."
"I'm afraid to ask."
"Ya don't have ta. She suggested that we should browse your archives ta see how you ran True Capitalist Radio, ya know, ta 'keep up continuity' as she put it. But doin' so came at a great cost." Ghost rolled his eyes. "While Pinkie went ta get a barrel of apple juice, I had a listen ta some, and I was surprised."
"Those were splices! I don't like raping retarded people!"
"No, no, no, not that one. As ah recall, the caller was called 'TBoss', and ah could hear mahself singing' Winter Wrap Up, and then ya called him a brony. Ah think-" Applejack choked, "ah think ah know what a brony is."
"So, you mean you know...what you really are?" Ghost asked, eyes bulging. Applejack nodded, took her hat off, placed it over her face and started sobbing, silently. "I'm so sorry, Applejack." The pony leaned over the hospital bed, and Ghost found himself hugging her. He felt that something inside him grow again. He was sure now that it was compassion. "I mean, I know it must be hard for you, but now you know what you are, you can't tell anypony else." Ghost deliberately said 'anypony' to try and cheer Applejack up, but it wasn't working.
"All of mah friends aren't real...nopony is...but at least now I know why Twilight didn't die by your bullet."
"Why's that?"
"Think about it. If we're all livin' in a cartoon, then there must be someone drawin' us, controllin' our every move. Maybe they didn't want Twilight to die. Because they have no control over you, only you could be shot."
"That makes sense, but one thing bugs me: If they have control over you, why do you think they allow you to know you're in a cartoon?"
Applejack wiped her eyes with her front left hoof, and put her hat back on with her right. "Ah don't know. Ah don't really want to think about it any more." Ghost released his hold on Applejack, and the two stood awkwardly for 30 seconds or so.
"Want to take some calls, to take your mind off the situation?" Applejack nodded again. "Then let's get outta here. Gimme my hat."

***

"718, Radio Graffiti," Ghost spoke, as he gently rubbed Applejack's head. The two were making a bond, like Laurel and Hardy, Greyfriars Bobby and that stupid old guy, and trolls and True Capitalist Radio.
"You know, who gives a crap about my son? He's the fruity-ass, fruitbowl, gay, bastard-"
"Look, I already told you idiots not to talk about my son and not to talk about my granny, NOT TO TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY! Uh, 971, Radio Graffiti."
"All I want for Christmas is your hambone penis going into my butthole," quipped a young, male voice on the other end.
"Urgh, Jesus CHRIST! Are you kidding me? JESUS SICK! YOU'RE SICK! 610, Radio Graffiti."
"I'm gonna have my grandmother do the black guy handshake-"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up. 971, Radio Graffiti." Ghost glanced at Applejack. She still didn't feel any better. Ghost pouted.
"Ghost's grandma is in the Illuminati," said a male voice.
"Oh, now my grandma's in the Illuminati, yeah, that's great. Here's the Illuminati guy, where the hell have you been?"
"I've been on vacation, back to my home in Germany."
"Oh, yeah? I mean, isn't that where the Illuminati's based, the Bavarian Secret Societies?"
"I'm pretty sure I don't know."
"Ah, you're an idiot, that's why you don't know, you don't know shit from Shinola 'cos you're an idiot, alright, 512, Radio Graffiti!" An extremely loud buzzer played over Ghost's voice as soon as he put the caller on. Ghost stumbled around for a bit, shocked at the noise. Applejack leapt up into the air in response to it, and Ghost managed to catch her, but put her down a second later. "Dammit, you stupid jerk! 443, Radio Graffiti."
"I mean, hell, I mean, in my personal opinion, Rainbow Dash is a good piece of ass."
"Goddammit, man, enough of these goddamn stupid remixes, man, enough of the splices! Enough of the splices! 559, Radio Graffiti." Ghost looked down, and noticed Applejack had gone. Eh. Another loud buzzer played. Ghost slammed down on the table, which played his outro. What a stroke of luck! He was going to go and find Applejack anyway. Where could she have gone?
She can't have gone back to the farm. that was too far away. She could be at any one of her friends' houses! Argh, friends can be annoying sometimes. At least they're regular.
...Like Tubguy, and CelticBrony, and FlamingNippleChop, and As-
No, that wasn't right. They're trolls! Cyber-vermin! They can't be my friends, can they?
But Ghost didn't think about it for very much longer, as a blunt object hit him in the side of the head, and he slumped down onto his desk.

Comments

[Baxyratty]

heh i'm wating fot 213 now :P good work as always

[123AEIOU123]

PUNITIVE DAMAGES

[Omlliw]

2521146
Odd...you read the name of the next chapter. What's next in the story then?