A Book of Logic

by Dreamscape

The Trojan Hoomin

The Trojan Hoomin

Within seconds they appeared in the shadow of the large wooden structure. It towered above them as if it was a child and they were its play toys or perhaps, as if it was a brony and they were his collectibles. Each one of them looked up in awe at the amazing sight. They were all too distracted to notice the large squad of guards rushing towards them, their armor clinking and clanking as they galloped.

"Stand back, villai..." the commander of the squad yelled but abruptly stopped and shook his head in confusion along with the other guards.

"Wha...whaaa?" stuttered a grey coated guard with golden eyes.

"Haven't you told them?" questioned Twilight, looking at a crowd of confusion, dressed in golden armor.

"No." Celestia whispered, looking down at the unicorn. Twilight could hear the weakness caused by the spell she had cast in her voice. "I went straight to Ponyville after I gave you the task of finding a solution and have been busy ever since. I guess it never ran across my mind to tell anypony."

"Well, this is going to be fun." Twilight responded, putting her hoof to her face. As Celestia walked ahead, the commander took off his helmet and stepped forward.

"Princess?" he asked. She could see the confusion and growing fear in his eyes, she knew he assumed that the villains had stolen the elements and that they had won with the help of a traitorous Discord.

"Do not fret, commander." She said in a calm and soothing voice. "These "villains" are here to help. They may be our only hope for defeating Illogic.

"Our only hope?" he repeated.

"Yes, through the power of friendship they have reformed the bond between the elements and will use their power against Illogic. This is something logic could never have foretold, something Illogical, something that can defeat Illogic."

"Yes, princess." he responded, placing his helmet back upon his head. "What will you have us do?"

"Return to the city, tell the other guards to prepare for battle and the citizens to return to the safety of their homes for the time being." After she finished the instructions the guard bowed his head and commanded his squad to go back the way they'd come. "Everypony else, investigate the structure and see if you can find any more clues to what it is...I must rest." she said sitting down upon the grass beneath her. She listened to the faint sound of the galloping guards, already nearly at the gates.

"It's clue time!" Pinkie yelled excitedly, placing a Sherlock hat, which seemed to have appeared from nowhere, upon her head, scrunching down her pink curly mane. She then galloped off towards the structure.

"Are you alright?" asked Luna and Nightmare Moon in unison, both walking towards Celestia. "Yes, I'm just a bit weak from the transportation spell but I'll be fine. Don't worry." Celestia said, turning towards her sister. "And thank you for asking, that was very kind of you." she continued, now turning to Nightmare.

"The Element of Magic." Twilight said following behind Discord as he searched the freshly constructed wooden structure for clues like a detective from a noir style film. "I knew you had it in you."

"I guess I did." said the draqonequus with a smile. "You and your friends have changed me quite a lot since we first met, Twilight Sparkle." he said, returning to his investigation.

"That’s a good thing, right?" she asked.

"Of course." he said with a magnifying glass now in his claw. "You should probably start searching."

"Oh yeah, you're right." the purple unicorn responded, realizing the task at hoof. "Pinkie, give me that hat!" she yelled, looking at the hopping pony in the distance.

"So, do ya think we're gonna find anything?" Applejack asked Chrysalis.

"No, this is already strange enough as it is. Nothing will be logical until that...whatever he is, is gone."

"Agreed, this all is pretty strange. I never in a million years thought I'd be seein' you and the other...um, ya know what a mean, helpin' us. To be honest, I'm not even sure if ya are helpin'. There could be a lot more goin' on that we don't know about." Applejack said, walking alongside the changeling.

"To be honest...I don't trust you either." the queen said with a snarl.

"Well, glad yer being honest. I see why ya got that element." Applejack stated, strutting on ahead.

"Oh, how dreadful!" Rarity whined, looking down at the muddy earth in the shadow of the structure. "Oh, but I must." she continued, about to place her squeaky clean hoof into the muck.

"Wait!" Trixie yelled, rushing towards her.

"Yes, what is it?" the drama queen asked, turning around.

"I'll search this side of the structure." explained Trixie.

"Why, thank you, dear." Rarity said with complete joy.

"I am the Great and Generous Trixie after all and I'm not afraid to get my hooves dirty every now and again." Trixie said with pride and then placed her hooves into the mud and began trotting forward.

"Oh, is that what you call yourself now? Well, have fun!" Rarity said and finished with a noticeably fake smile. That fake smile quickly turned into a real frown as the sound of a repetitive clank flowed into her twitching ears.

"What is that horrible sound?" she asked in the same whiny tone as before, noticing the others looking around to find the source of the clanking.

"Probably that." Pinkie stated, responding to the whine and pointing up at the human structure's mouth or hoomin structure's mouth as they believed, all because of a slight mispronunciation from Twilight. With every clank, the bottom jaw of the mouth slowly lowered.

"Not good." said Spike, his eyes widening as he watched intently. For a moment there was complete silence as the clanking clanked its last clank. Then, out from the mouth swarmed a flood of gigantic butterflies in complete and delicate silence but not any normal gigantic butterflies, these gigantic butterflies had wings made of nearly paper thin diamond.

"Oh my, they're quite lovely." said Rarity, gazing up at the beautiful creatures.

"and sooo cute." Fluttershy added along with the sweetest of smiles.

"Crystals!" Sombra yelled as he jumped and skipped joyfully around in circles.

"He is pretty funny." Pinkie said laughing at the oddly happy and playful tyrant stallion.

As the last of the swarm exited the structure, out came the zebra striped Pegasus, maniacally laughing as he rode upon the back of an oversized origami swan, It's paper wings flapping furiously to keep it afloat. The swarm of diamond butterflies then, rather gracefully, made its way towards the walls of Canterlot with Illogic and the origami swan at its rear.

"Ugh, here we go again." Twilight sighed. "We need to get into the city now! Illogic and those butterfly things...whatever they are, can fly right over the walls!" she yelled to the others and motioned for them to get moving. They then began the gallop towards the magnificent city. "Where's Shining Armor and his magical force field when you need him?...Oh yeah that's right, busy helping Cadence run the Crystal Empire, oh darn." Twilight said to herself with a smirk. Startled by a loud crash behind her, she came to a halt and turned around to see what had caused it. A completely unseen door had opened on the side of the structure and out poured the colorful inhabitants of Ponyville, looking even more confused than ever before and some even drooling at the mouth. The ecstatic ball of sunshine, Delusional, led them forward.

"Z...zzz...zo...zom...ZOMBIES!" Spike shuttered, pointing his claw at the massive crowd of ponies that stood before them.

"No." Twilight said, her head shaking back and forth. "But I could believe just about anything right now. I...just don't want to. If they attack, I'm not sure if I can fight back."

"Well, we gotta do somethin' and fast." Applejack said, trotting back and forth in anticipation as the drooling citizens of Ponyville slowly crawled forward. They whipped around once more as they heard the sound of magic being cast behind them. An array of magical beams flew through the air as the Unicorn guards cast spells, aimed at the butterflies as they swooped downward towards the city. The diamond wings of the butterflies reflected the magic back down towards the city and it began to destroy it instead of its initial target. Twilight and the others watched as the royal city erupted in flames and explosions and listened to the chaos caused by the citizens behind its walls. Panicked, the guards continued to cast their magic, hoping that it would somehow destroy the vicious but beautiful creatures swarming towards them.

"We need to get in there and help!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"No." Chrysalis stated. "The guards already have enough to deal with. If we open the gate they won't have enough time to close it and they will get in." she said pointing at the crowd of ponies, getting ever closer.

"But Illogic is in there. That's the whole reason we did all this and we can't stop him out here!" Gilda roared.

"This could turn out well...or not so well for both options but we must make a decision, now!" Celestia yelled.

"Oh, what do we do..." Twilight said with a frown, now pacing back and forth like Applejack. Then with a loud bang the gates slammed open. A small family dressed in camouflage clothing and wearing large, over packed saddlebags filled with canned food, water and strange homemade weapons, rushed out.

"This is it!" yelled the father. "The day we've been training for, the day when Equestria falls! Time to wait this war out and begin a new and better future for everypony!

"Why, thank you!" Illogic yelled from above, waving at the ponies who ever so kindly opened the gate to let in his zombie horde. Then with a swoosh, he and the origami swan disappeared into the chaos.

"Um, okay...then?" Rainbow questioned, scratching her multicolored mane. "Charge!" she yelled realizing that the gates were now open. They rushed through the city, now in full disarray, searching for the master of all things illogical. The posh citizens ran back and forth across the streets, letting out screams in the most uncivil of manners. Buildings fell to the ground in clouds of smoke, dust, and embers. Some struggled to stand as brilliant orange flames poured outwards from their cores.

Finally, realizing that magic would not defeat the diamond butterflies the guards would wait for them to get close and then charge at the elegant creatures smashing them into walls and into the ground. Fluttershy cringed every time she heard a loud shattering noise as a butterfly's wings were crushed beneath the hoof or head of a guard. The stumbling horde of Ponyville zombies slowly made its way through the city as the guards hesitated to attack, knowing that not too long ago; these ponies were all innocent and happy townsfolk. A crowd of villains was not a comforting site to the citizens either, who still had no idea of any plan. They yelled, screamed, and ran in terror from their only saviors, just as if they were a part of the attack.

Twilight noticed the origami swan, flying above the burning houses and shops in the distance. "You're not getting away this time!" she yelled as a beam of pink magic was cast from her horn. The beam hit the edge of the swan's wing leaving a hole. The smoldering paper quickly lit up in flame and the origami creation began to spiral downward, some poor pony's work of art, destroyed. "Come on!" she yelled as the others watched the flaming ball fall from the sky. "Let's go get him!"

Rushing towards the center of town, everypony was sure that they'd find an injured Illogic lying upon the ground but instead all they saw were the still flaming ashes of the poor origami swan lying upon the ground. "You must be kidding me." Chrysalis muttered with anger.

"Wait, look." said Fluttershy, pointing her hoof into the sky. The others looked up and watched as the zebra striped Pegasus slowly descended downwards, his legs straight and his head held proudly in the air.

As his hooves reached the ground he began to speak. "I don't understand why you're still trying to fight me."

"Because we've found a way to defeat you." Twilight said proudly.

"No, no, not because of that but because I've done nothing wrong." Illogic responded.

"Um, hello, look around!" she yelled angrily.

"That." he said, looking around. "I did none of that."

"That better be a joke!" roared Gilda.

"No, not at all." Illogic said with a smile. "The only reason I came to Canterlot was to help these fools." He continued, pointing a hoof at the drooling crowd of ponies behind them, being slammed to the ground and held down by guards. Delusional Sunshine waved vigorously at them and then shrugged looking around at the chaos. "I seemed to have confused them so much so that they can't even think straight any longer. I brought them all here because Canterlot has the best of magical healers and I knew they could help."

Twilight stood still and silent in thought not realizing that Illogic had stopped speaking, Rainbow Dash spoke instead."What about the butterfly things then?"

"Oh, the diamond butterflies." he said "Those were a gift for Fluttershy."

"For me?" Fluttershy asked, blushing and shyly scraping at the ground with her hoof.

"Are you serious?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes, they are my favorite kind of butterfly and I understand how much Fluttershy enjoys these sorts of things. So, I thought I might as well share the enjoyment of one of the rarest butterflies of all with her." Illogic stated.

"Ra...rarest?" Dash stuttered, looking at the many piles of shattered diamonds around her.

"Indeed." Illogic responded with a frown.

"So what you're saying is that all of this wasn't meant as an attack?" asked Rarity.

"Yes." responded Illogic, smirking.

"Oh no!" Twilight screamed, watching the guards attack the innocent ponies. "Come on girls, we have to make them stop! I don't know how but we can't let anypony get hurt. Everypony else, stop Illogic!" Twilight, Spike and the girls dove head first into the chaotic crowd which was now surrounded them. Discord and the villains stood ready, staring with determination at Illogic.

"This is very impressive, I never thought I'd see all of you in friendship's embrace and ready to wield the Elements of Harmony against me...or maybe this is exactly what I was planning all along." Illogic said with an overwhelmingly long chuckle. During this long and drawn out chuckle, the villians pondered what had just been said and looked at one another with confusion. "Why do you even fight for them?" He asked, pointing at the two princesses standing beside his challengers.
"Was it just because they said I was bad? They say the same thing about each and every one of you and you saw how the Equestrians cowered and ran in fear as you walked past them. This is because of what they've been taught by their rulers and it can never be relearned. In their eyes, you will always be evil, hated, and thought of as scum. You will never be villainous heroes nor will you be heroic villains. You will just be villains. What you do here today will not be honored."

"Maybe he's right. Maybe he does make sense. Maybe we're fighting for the wrong side." Trixie muttered, looking at the ground almost shamefully.

"No, do not listen to him!" Luna yelled.

"The only reason the citizens ran is because they didn't know of our allegiance...and trust me, you will be honored for any heroic deeds done here today and you will forever after be known and loved by all Equestrians for these deeds." Celestia said.

"Well, well, for once you two are not part of this. If you would please take a seat." Illogic said and with a flash, the two princesses sat on a small row of seats ripped from some theater which was unimportant to the story. Refreshing beverages sat in the cup holders next to them. A magical barrier was wrapped around each of their bodies and mouths making them unable to speak or move.

"Good one!" Discord said with a chuckle. "It looks like something I would do."

"Well Discord, I am your father after all. Join me and we can rule Equestria together!" Illogic paused for a moment and looked off into the crowd of ponies surrounding them. From the way he stared, it could be seen that he was not particularly interested in the crowd but something else, something unseen by the others. "That was one too many wasn't it?" he asked.

"One too many what?" Trixie asked, walking back and forth, glaring intently in the direction Illogic was staring, trying to see what he saw.

Illogic turned to the unicorn and said "Too many references of the same kind of course." and then quickly turned back to say, "I apologize."

"What are you talking about?" Chrysalis asked, oblivious to the true nature of everything.

"The story..." Discord said, looking in the same direction as Illogic. "and it's readers. (I agree, that may have just been one too many but oh well, we can't worry about that now can we? Let's get back to it then...)

"We may be similar in many ways, Illogic but we're not related, good try though." Discord said.

"How do you know that?" Illogic taunted.

"I just do..."

"Hmm, fair enough. So, use those elements. Come on, I want to see this. Actually, can you even use them at all, are you all truly friends? I seriously doubt it. The concept of an insane Draconequus, scumbag Griffon, sadist queen, jealous princess, a self-gratifying but completely powerless Unicorn, and a former, horrid king with an unheard of background who can only say the word crystals and sometimes stairs, becoming friends and using the Elements of Harmony against me sounds completely impossible.

"What did you say?" Trixie screamed in horror.

"Exactly what it sounded like." a smiling Illogic answered.

"You dare insult the Great and....Generous Trixie?" Trixie yelled, her face turning red with anger, smoke pouring from her nostrils. At least, that's what Discord imagined.

"Indeed, I dare." Illogic said, bracing himself for a blast of magic to come flying his way. The blast did come but was more of a purple spew. The small tickling spew of magic hit the colt upon the chest and he giggled as a small portion of his eye, the same color as Trixie's, began to glow brighter.

"Completely useless..." he said, casting the same spell back at the still fuming unicorn. She cowered, trying to avoid the magic but it hit her and she shook with laughter.

"and you call yourself great?" He asked with disgust. Trixie hung her head in shame, a tear forming in her eye. Gilda roared in anger as she saw her new friend in pain.

"No more talk, I've had enough!" the griffon screamed and then charged Illogic, tackling him to the ground, her claws tightly gripping his shoulders and digging into his skin. Her fierce eyes looked down upon him, filled with dominance.

"Yeah! That's right, get'um, Gilda!" Rainbow Dash yelled from the crowd of Ponyvillians and guards which was now beginning to settle down.

Gilda's proud and fierce eyes became filled with fear and confusion as the golden yellow of Illogic's eyes began to glow. Then, out from the small pony's mouth, came a blood curdling roar. Gilda, shocked with fright, loosened her grip and the colt lifted her into the air with a levitation spell and flung her backwards towards the others. She landed unsteadily upon her feet and claws and skidded to a stop then stood still in silence, her eyes wide open.

"Why thank you, Gilda." Illogic said shaking the dust from his fur. "Now then, whose up next?" he asked, lifting his hooves into the air. Sombra whimpered as he saw the dark purple gemstone of one Illogic's bracelets glisten in the sun.

"Crystals..." he moaned, drool dripping from his mouth. He then hopped into the air and landed in front of Illogic, quickly grasping his leg to get a closer look at the gemstone. After observing it for a few seconds, he gently brought his head forward, bit down upon the stone and locked his mouth into place.

"Eww..." Illogic exclaimed, shaking his leg back and forth as Sombra's drool poured down onto it. "Would somepony please get this thing off of me?"

"Aw, that was just tooo perfect." Pinkie said, squishing her face together with her hooves. "I'm...just..s..so proud!" she continued, a waterfall of tears pouring from her eyes. "Good job, Sombra."

"Well, it looks as though we've discovered your weakness." Chrysalis said with a chuckle.
"No, not a weakness. I'd just prefer to not have a pony drooling all over me." Illogic responded, still trying to shake the stallion from his leg.

"Alright everypony, no more distractions, we need to use the elements. I mean really, it was the original plan after all, I have no idea why we haven't done it yet." Discord said with a sigh. "Sombra, buddy, please let go so you can concentrate, please."

After whining, Sombra let go and closed his eyes to concentrate. Illogic quickly jerked his leg away. The others followed in Sombra's step and a powerful field of magic began to develop around them. They were slowly levitated into the air and their eyes flashed open, glowing a ghostly white. A rainbow colored beam of magic flew up into the air and fell back downwards upon Illogic. He shrugged and then began to admire the colors as they swirled around him. With a jolt the magic was gone and they're eyes shut as they fell back to the ground. Discord brushed his claw and paw together with victory but as he looked up his mouth dropped open in surprise as he saw Illogic standing in the exact same spot he was before, completely unharmed. Gasps erupted from the crowd as everypony discovered the colt's unchanged fate.

"One more time, everypony." Discord said, shaking his head. Once again they were lifted into the air and a blast of rainbow flew up into the air and down upon Illogic and once again it did nothing.

"Why isn't this working?" asked an angered Trixie.

"I have no idea..." Discord responded. "but we have to try again, come on everypony!"

"Yes, you can do it!" Illogic encouraged. Blah blah, rainbow, blah blah, nothing happened.

"No..." Discord mumbled, trying to figure out what wasn't working.

"This is not good." Chrysalis said with a shrug.

"Not at all." added Nightmare Moon.

"Well, good try everypony. That was a lot of fun, I enjoyed it." Illogic said clapping his hooves together. "But sadly, I must get going. I've done all that's been needed. Come on devil spawn, let's get moving." he said motioning for Del. The happy pony stopped at Illogic's side and let him climb onto his back.

"Well, goodbye everypony, it was nice meeting all of you and it was amazing to see you use the Elements of Harmony." Delusional said, smiling at the villains who stood completely frozen in confusion. "I hope to see all of you again soon and in better circumstances of course."

With a gentle kick to his side, Delushional Sunshine galloped away, the strange illogical Pegasus upon his back, his mane blowing in the wind. With a flash, the ruined city of Canterlot was returned to its former glory, the citizens of Ponyville brought back to their normal state, and the Trojan Hoomin gone. The duo raced out of the city's open gate and into the setting sun. Its glowing orange hues silhouetting them in black (Que old western movie music now).

Ginger Spice was flying gracefully through the air when he was hit with a blinding flash. His wings and horn disappeared and he plummeted towards the trees beneath him. With an explosion of leaves and branches, he landed safely but rather uncomfortably in an apple tree. He looked around and shrugged then picked an apple from the tree. As he ate the shiny red fruit, he watched the two ponies continue off into the distance.

***

As Celestia finished up lowering the sun, Twilight scratched her mane. "I'm just done, I don't know, I give up..." she mumbled, her eye twitching with irritation.

"What...just happened?" Discord asked, looking at the others for answers. They shook their heads.

"We won?" Trixie guessed, imagining a crowd of Equestrians cheering and shouting in joy for their new heroes. She soon realized that this would not be the case. The ponies around them cowered and backed away, looking suspiciously towards them. She watched the guards form a loose circle around them, trying not to show their true intentions. Celestia began making her way towards them, her head high in the air. Two guards broke from the circle and followed close behind her.

"Well, I cannot truly tell you what happened here today as I do not know. You may not have necessarily defeated Illogic but you defended not only Canterlot but all of Equestria and I thank you." she said, bowing her head and then motioning for the guards to stand down.

"No, this isn't over yet." Trixie said, followed by a gasp from the others, sending the guards back on high alert. "Look at them; they aren't treating us like heroes..." Trixie said, pointing at the crowd around them. "and they never will. We won't be honored, this day will be forgotten and we'll always be thought of for who we were, not who we're trying to be. So, what's the point of trying? Instead, together with the Elements of Harmony, we can take over all of Equestria and get rid of you fools.

"Hmm, the girl has a point." Chrysalis said with a grin, showing off her sharp fangs.

"Even after all of this, you would still do it?" Celestia asked calmly.

"Yes." Gilda responded.

"Loyalty, Gilda, remember that's what you're representing." Rainbow said, angered by the griffons actions.

"I am loyal Dash, loyal to my new friends. If this is what they want then I'll help them get it." Gilda said assertively.

"Well, that's not gonna happen!" Rainbow huffed, ready for a fight.

"Please everypony!" Discord yelled, walking in front of the villains and turning to face them. "I understand where you're coming from, Trixie but it’s wrong. This may be the only chance we have to change how all of Equestria thinks of us. Yes, they're not treating the heroes that just saved all of them like they should but that's because they're scared and after all we've done to them they have the right to be. Give it time and they'll realize what we've accomplished."

Trixie thought for a moment, "Oh, you're right, Discord." she said with a frown.

"Yes, now please just put down the elements." None of them wanted to lose the great power that they had been given but they knew what Discord said was right and trusted him. They each reluctantly pulled their element off their neck.

"Thank you." Celestia said as Discord handed her his crown. "I knew you would make the right choice and besides..." she said motioning for him to come closer. He brought his ear closer to her mouth and she began to whisper. "They wouldn't have worked anyways. The Elements of Harmony as their name suggests only work to bring harmony to our world and your taking over Equestria would've been in no way harmonious."

"Just don't be too harsh with them." Discord said, straightening his body.

"Well, there will be repercussions for their actions but they did save Equestria after all." she said, smiling.

Nightmare Moon looked down at her element which was now lying upon the ground and thought of all she'd experienced since she'd been split away from Luna. As she touched her hoof upon the element one last time, she realized that it was beginning to disintegrate along with the rest of her body. "You have shown me much and I am very grateful to have experienced friendship first hoof." she said as the others began to notice. "Do not worry, I will still be here but as a part of Princess Luna, where I should be." As the villains said their goodbyes, Luna braced herself, prepared for the jealousy, anger, and pain to re-enter her body but instead she was filled with a warming happiness. She smiled peacefully; glad to have a missing part of her back.