• Published 2nd Dec 2012
  • 3,292 Views, 202 Comments

An offer you can't refuse... - The Psychopath



A don becomes a small unicorn foal and becomes briddled by the unexpected

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Deep depression

After realizing the time, Luna really wanted to go to bed, but she had to tend to this little colt, as per her sister's sugg...no...orders. Luna had to learn a few important responsibilities, and what else was better to up her public image by showing that she could take good care of a little foal? While the day rose, the little colt seemed to have been becoming more and more depressed as time flew. It felt as though his very soul was blowing away on the wind, eroding like a stone. The Moon Princess thought long, and believed that a name would be much easier for her and it could perhaps help the little pony get his mood up. She simply couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, and mind reading spells would be of no use here, seeing as his tiny foal mind would be too immature to read. Well, that, and he seemed to have a strange magic on his head. It was like he passed through a river head first, and the streams just connected to his noggin'.

"Hmmm." Luna thought as she put a hoof to her mouth."How about Velus Aretror? It was the name of a powerful warrior in my time."

(Adone transition)

A warrior? More blood shed on my account. Looking at my hooves, I could see that they were still usable for killing. I sighed a bit, letting out more of my depressive energies. She won't let me die, and this...Luna, certainly won't let me kill myself. I just look up at her with heavy eyes, and her smile gradually fades away into her own frown. I hope she understands.

"Maybe that isn't the best for you. I can see that you do not like fighting. Perhaps..." She tapped her chin several times with her hoof. A weird sight."Maybe...Aurora Borealis? It is a beautiful sight to behold during the night. A mixture of the stars and the sun when you think about it."

She leaned towards me with a hoping smile. I felt horrible to do it, but I had to. I sighed and slouched slowly onto the bed before finally plopping onto the covers. It felt like I was sinking into quick sand, but the amount of cares I gave went below zero. Yes. I can give negative cares. Wait...I'm starting to lose my ability to even think of cursing. What? Anyways, this "Luna" character began to frown again and looked pensive.

"Gah! Why is it so hard to find a name?!" She yelled before dropping her head onto her pillows."I'm so tired...but I'm supposed to take care of you."

There was a moment of silence until some red pony with a green costume barged in and yelled at Luna.

"Princess. Come quick! There are wolves in the yard."

"So? Send our royal guards to take care of this. It shouldn't be bothering us."

"Us?" the stallion, I presume, looked perplexed, until he saw me, which widened his eyes."I..."

"Why is it so important that you must interrupt me in my train of thoughts?" she asked. Her heightening stature was imposing itself upon the uninvited guest. "I'm about to rest for the day to tend to matters at night. This better be important."

"Oh. It is. These wolves seem a bit...green...and their ribs are poking out...and..."

Both Luna and I were both confused and surprised at what we heard. What were these? Zombie wolves? This wasn't helping the fact that this guy had been jittering around like he had to pee. Upon closer inspection, he appeared to have a monocle on his left eye that seemed to be sliding out of place too. The winged...horned...pony got out from her spot on the bed and turned to me. She was dead serious about this.

"You stay here. I don't want harm to come to you...as much as I'd prefer not to have to deal with you." She rolled her eyes and talked to Santa Claus."What is my sister doing?"

"Princess Celestia is keeping those creatures out of the castle with her magic, but they keep coming incessantly despite the thousands that the guards have already destroyed. We thought--"

"That because I am linked to the night that I would be capable of excluding them from the castle premises?"

"Y...yes." he looked down in shame.

"Then let us go. Let the little one sleep."

Those were the last things I heard before the door was shut slowly by that other guy. Luna had simply looked at me with the corner of her eyes and ran off. Hmph. Who does that white one think she is? Giving me an adoptive mother. I was tired, but I had to do something else rather than stay on my butt. I needed to get adjusted to this new body and find a way to save the souls of my old family members. It was very VERY important. With a firm "heave ho", I lift myself onto my wobbly legs and fell right back down, cursing under my breath. I try again and again, but it's no use, and the only time I stood more than five seconds, I slapped myself with my tail.

"Awwwwooh. I hate this. Why couldn't I be reincarnated as a human child?"

"I can hear you bitching from up here."that fae said.

I looked up."I thought you couldn't talk to me anymore, and how come you keep cursing? I thought you weren't allowed that."

"I'm a fae, not an angel, and this is purgatory. I do whatever I damn well please. Hey, here's a future hint: You'll meet someone you hate but know, and this will provide me with quite a show."

I stared at the ceiling with a shocked expression."Who are you? The Riddler? Should I put on my cape and say in a deep, rusty voice: 'I'm Batman'?...Hello? Oh great. She left. Well, let's try and get a hang of this again."

Out of nowhere, I heard a loud explosion that rocked the castle, tossing some of Luna's vases or whatever was precious to her against the floor. I also fell on the floor, but my butt decided to stay in the air for fun. A sigh, and I was back on my...hooves, wobbling towards the door. I fell forward but managed to push myself against the door, huffing heavily. It was pretty hard to walk on your hands in a ninety degree angle, let alone doing it permanently. As I managed to regain my foothold, I looked up tiredly at the suddenly immense door and screamed in anger. The handle was too high! I kept jumping, trying to catch it, nearly falling back down on my stomach every time, but I didn't give up. How silly I must have looked. By my old viewpoint, I must've looked like some sort of cat attacking a toy. Frustration overtook me, so I began banging my hooves against the door in a black fury. A few minutes must have passed because I was already tired. Damn this tiny body. I finally started to slouch back onto the floor until the door swung open, nearly smashing me against the wall. In the door stood a pearly white mare with pink, curled hair. Her equally pink eyes showed a strong sense of absence in her mind as she looked around almost semi-conciously before zoning out completely, giving me ample time to sneak away.

I looked behind me to see that she was STILL staring in Luna's room. What's she even doing in a castle? Besides that, I decided to follow the sounds of snarling and exploding echoing and scratching on the castle walls. This place was still as plain as I remembered, besides the few added banners. I still had trouble walking, so running was out of the question. It felt as though I hadn't walked in weeks. I walked carefully towards the stairs, then gently put each leg on each step, before missing one and bouncing down the steps like a slinky.

"Owwww. Everyone loves a slinky my rear." my head was throbbing as I held it. "How sturdy are little foal bodies? Brrr. Cold wind. Must be coming from over there." I said to myself.

Before I took a step, some pony with golden armor was flung across a far portion of the hallway adjacent to this one, flying further down said hallway. I couldn't see anything, but I heard the sound of metal slamming together, so I assumed he hit pots and pans or one of those suits of armor standing still.

"Hm. Football. Tackling? Let's go see."

Carefully crawling through the strong winds blowing away everything in the hallways, especially those tacky banners, I turned around the corner to see a sight I hadn't seen since I was promoted Don. There were two fam...two sides fighting eachother, but this wasn't shooting and banging either. No. It was destroying and punching and so much other forms of destruction that I could only call "magic". Apparently, that barrier broke apart in several places, and these zombie wolves had placed themselves in the holes to keep them open. Wow. I didn't know I was starring in a movie.

"Walk forward or go back to boredom. Such a tough choice." I told myself sarcastically.

This yard was pretty huge, although the few bits of grass and bushes compared to what looked like a maze and some statues far over there seemed to be enough. Despite the sun shining, these fights weren't ending, and the old style "zombie burns in sunlight" doesn't work here. Then again, it doesn't work anymore at all. Iy was fun to crawl through here, occasionally hiding behind pillars, I could see groups flying overhead or smashing into the ground, just like war!

"My mind is drifting again."I thought as I whimpered behind my pillar.

I felt so cold and so sick at the same time. I also felt fear when one of those zombie wolves slammed through the pillar and called his buddies to come encircle me. I tried fleeing left, but there was nothing. I tried fleeing right, but there was nothing...nothing but wolves. I could see Luna from afar fighting off her own problems. I might have been a Don, but this no longer applies here. I tried calling out to her, but my mouth just exhaled. I tried pushing harder and harder, until, finally, when these beasts were centimeters away from my face, I screamed as loud as I could. Everyone turned around to face me, and I could see that bluish pony's face paling as the wolves pounced on me. Everything went extremely slow. It was as if I could leave my spot right now, but I was going at the same speed, and so was that female pony who tried flapping her wings as fast as she could to reach me. I covered my face. Silence ensued.

"Huh?"I wondered."Why aren't they attacking me? And why can I hear some sort of heart beat?"

Looking around, I could see that the wolves had sat down and were all looking at me. I looked back in disbelief and confusion, my eyes darting from wolf to wolf. They wouldn't move, even when the others would walk past them. I found that this was the best moment to take advantage of, so I stood up and gestured them to leave the premises. They bowed their heads and calmly left through the holes, the only sound being made were their rotted paws disturbing the grass below them. I smirked and brushed my shoulders as I realized that I was superior to these wolves. Luna walked up towards me, and I could feel something that made me huddle down as I looked at her from a very low stand point. She was staring at me with wide eyes in a way that said, in Nicholas Cage's voice:

"I'm gonna gut you, then I'm going to wear your remains like a christmas ornament."

It was scary, especially with that incessant heart pounding noise. That female put a hoof in the air, and when I expected to be pummeled into submission, she simply cupped me in her foreleg and looked at me with no emotion. I looked back at her eyes, and I saw something in them. There was a spark, but of what?

"LUNA!" yelled a familiar voice. It was the white mare flying down from whatever perch she was at. She looked worried."What happened? The creatures simply fled...what in Equestria?"her eyes widened as she looked at me. What was wrong?

"It was this little foal that drove them off. Barely a few hours that we have known him, and he has already accomplished something strange and uncommon."

"I'll say. What did he do?"

"He simply gestured them to leave. These marks on his head are also strange. I believe they are linked to--"

"Star magic." they both said at once.

"Yes. Luna, I think he is perfect for you."

"Ew. Pedophile much?"

"He is linked to the stars you labored so hard to make, and he can control wolves in some manner or form. I have yet to understand. The important part is that wolves are connected to your moon." Celestia was smiling freakishly as she began to tickle me.

"Ahaha! Ahaha! STOP IT YOU HARLEQUIN!"I yelled, only making baby noises. Stupid gurgles. She took it as a sign of affection and puffed up her face more. Mommy envy? I THINK SO!

"Well...if I am to be his mother, I need to give him a name..."

I pushed Celestia's hooves away and looked at them both in quick succession with horror."MY WHAT?!"

"Did you find one?"

"Yes. Just now. I believe a name from an ancient culture should be perfect. He is now part of nobility, and he can direct wolves, no matter how bizarre they are. I will name his Aethelwulf Lyall, or Aethel for short."she looked at me and gave that creepy 'I feel motherhood coming along' face. The horror.THE HORROR!

"Yes. Yes! It is perfect! However, it would be a good idea to take him to our Mages to study his strange magic and see if it has any repercussions on his body."

"Later."Luna waved her free foreleg at the white one as she looked at me with a smile.

Staying on your back with only your legs to cover your belly and having big, adorable eyes isn't really the best way to drag away attention from yourself.

"I want to learn how to take care of him first. It's very important."

(narrator transition)

As the moon princess returned within the castle, everypony just stared at the now empty doorway with indescribable faces. One of the guards asked Celestia:

"What happened here?"

"I honestly do not know, but I believe that my sister is finding a purpose in her life other than being frightening to the populace and trying too hard to be recognized."

"That's kinda mean."

Celestia shrugged and smiled at the same time.