Ever since the first computers, there have always been ghosts in the machine. Random segments of code that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols.
Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in darkness, they will seek out the light?
Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone? How do we explain this behaviour? Random segments of code? Or is it something more? When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does a difference engine become the search for truth? When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote... of a soul?
Dr. Alfred Lanning (I, Robot)
PROJECT ASCENSION
LOCATION:
[UNKNOWN]
DATE:
[ERROR NOT AVAILABLE]
TIME SINCE LAST ACTIVATION
57895 YEARS: EARTH SOLAR ROTATIONAL TIME
ACTIVATION OF [DESIGNATION UNKNOWN] COMMENCING...
I awoke to darkness and no gravity, floating in an abyss of nothing as I began to examine my senses. I could feel restraints of reinforced steel around my body yet strangely nothing else. There was no smell, no light nothing for me except touch. Eventually I tried speaking out, only to be greeted with a strange synthetic voice.
'Where am I... who am I...?'
"Activating start up video", a voice said seemingly resonating from my head.
"Who said that?" I called into the darkness. Only for an image of a man dressed in a suit adorned with medals to appear in a box at the corner of my vision.
"Greetings Captain", Said the strange man
"You volunteered for the project Ascension, a project designed to save our race's legacy."
"We have known that our end draws close for a while now, be it by our own atomic fire, or the fury of Mother Nature and you volunteered for as far as we could see, our only option."
The video feed suddenly cut to a clip of a man only.... he wasn't a man. Parts of his body had been replaced with metal. And his eyes were a blood red. He stepped into a strange circular tube of sorts as a long needle like object was pressed into his skin.
"Humans can’t travel out of our own solar system let alone our galaxy, so we upgraded in a way."
"You are among those that were given the opportunity to be turned into a robotic being of sorts which involved moulding your brain with an artificial intelligence."
The screen then changed into small machines repairing organic tissue almost instantly as it was damaged by some sort of blade cutting into the cyborg's flesh.
"This allowed us to deploy nanites into your blood that repair and improve your body, even reversing the aging process itself, while being completely self reproducing and commanded by the synthetic part of the reconstructed brain, and this also means nothing short of disembowelment could kill you’"
"However such wonders come at a price".
The video feed changed to the man again only he was ... different. He seemed to be a shell. Looking into nothing, not reacting, he just seemed... blank.
"The brain cannot take such extensive reconstruction without some serious repercussions some irreversible. Memory loss is probably the easiest side effect to fix as even now as this recording is played the machine you are connected to will be downloading your past memories and a large amount of human history and knowledge to you."
The man suddenly looked very ... disheartened? I couldn't tell what it was.
"However we have discovered that even with this, the installation of the robotic part of the brain removed something we cannot replicate. Feelings, emotions, these things so taken for granted by the human race are removed by the new synthetic attachments to the brain and replaced with cold calculations."
"Maybe with time we could have fixed this but we don't have the time. Even now the EAA or Eastern Arm's Alliance, has threatened thermo nuclear warfare upon the allied alliance and it’s only a matter of time before someone pushes the button".
"The fact that you’re watching this though means that your ship has found a planet of possible habitation and activated you. Your objective is simple. Survive and preserve our legacy and who knows, maybe one day another race will learn from our mistakes".
"we will exsshstdlian ho- eut ur wtiw I h dos h".
[DATA CORRUPTED]
Watching the box in my eye cut to static and end was.... strange. I could sense everything around me, the ship, its sensors, the class 7 military defence robots in the hangers even the 3 orbital re-entry drop ships in the hanger.
Wait how do I know about them?
I pondered this a moment before focusing on my memories, only they weren't all mine. It was like looking into a computer. Everything I’d want to know was there and many things I would not. Almost as if someone had taken the entire Internet and all known history and implanted it into my skull which now if I think about it, it’s probably what happened.
I decided to try and focus on the ship to see if I could release these restraints around me, when a loading bar appeared in the centre of my vision quickly followed by connection established.
It was ... a flood of sorts. I could see everything thing the ship could see its cameras, its sensors all flooding information to me. The controls to my bonds were easy enough to find and it was a simple matter of opening them. I just thought unlock, and sure enough I heard a click and a hiss as something disconnected from my back and I was set free to explore my body and my whereabouts.
As I stood a visor flooded my vision with information scanning everything I looked at while internal body systems appeared then minimised as if I was looking through an old game screen visor. My vision seemly to adjust to the darkness instantly granting me sight in the dark, coupled with the ships sensors which I was still linked to enabling me to see everything in the room from the large grey door to the tiny bit of rust on the metal that held me, probably developed long ago.
Fascinated, I focused on a nearby panelling along the walls of my resting place. It seemed to glow for a second before and option seemed to just appear in my head.
[Open Dormitory bay 7’s window heavy impact shields Y/N?]
I tried to send my thoughts out to it saying yes and to my surprise I could see [Command accepted] in my head just before a small hissing sound as the window slowly slid open.
The view could have been considered breath taking if I was capable of such emotion. A blue planet scattered with land masses, almost like earth except different. And there was also another thing the ships sensors could see. Its sun and moon are revolving around the planet.
The ships planetary scanner revealed something was altering the sun and moon’s course like they were being controlled.
The scanners then showed me something that surprised me greatly. The planet, it had towns and cities scattered on its surface. One was even built in a mountain somehow anchored to it even though my new processors where screaming inaccuracy’s and things that shouldn't be.
Increasing the zoom on the sensor’s reveal multiple intelligent life forms in the different areas, different towns and cultures some mixed showing signs of little racism to each over.
On the east side of the planet there appeared to be griffins as if taking strait out of old mythology, only they were not mindless killers as in the legends. These ones seem to live in a dry harsh area and yet survive prosperously, with golden adornments in some homes and buildings. But the most intriguing was their warriors that fought in duels at a large barracks of refine stone. Noting this for future research, I continued my scans looking west into a large jungle like area mixed with plains. Looking closely I could see tribes of equines, looking remarkably like zebras from Earth only they appeared to follow the traits of the ancient tribes from Earth's past, collecting herbs and brewing potions in small villages of huts.
Looking in the northern and middle areas, there appeared to be great cities of small equines looking similar to ponies and yet with differences. Some contained wings and others horns that seemed to release an unknown radiation that seemed harmless enough. And yet, it appeared the equines could control it forming it to their desired purpose somehow.
With all the cities I could detect having been scanned I had the sensors start doing a global scan to provide me with a detailed map of the planet. While doing this I thought back to the message.
My purpose...
Perhaps these creatures could learn and understand from humanity’s mistakes. Perhaps they can preserve our legacy, in failures and triumphs. Or maybe they will be too young to even understand it.
Either way my objective is clear
Progressing with soft metallic clamps as I walked, I entered walked the halls of the ship in a dark silence only broken by the hum of power running through its engines. Reaching the bridge I took the navigation controls and quickly plotted a course to the planet.
[DIRECTIVE ACCEPTED ETA 27 HOURS]
The ship will hover above the pony-like creatures while I study and prepare for contact. Maybe I should start with a small town and take a drop ship.....
But what will I call myself... I had a name... but it just doesn't feel right any more...
My name is... Legion. And my objective is clear.
LET’S PAAAARTY PONYVILLE!!!
Vinyl Scratch or more commonly known by her stage name DJ Pon3, is an easy going party pony that lived for the beat. Her reputation had sky rocketed with her performance at the wedding of Princess Cadence and Shining Armour, but she found she still loved coming back from the big cities, to the small clubs where she began, this particular club in Ponyville was a favourite for her to come and forget her problems.
The music pumping the crowd jumping, this is what she looked forward to everyday the sounds the ponies the atmosphere of invincibility. She would play song after song, usually dub-trot or techno, and just lived in the moment. In a way it distracted her from her life.
She would party and meet new ponies thriving in Luna’s night, while driving crowds crazy with her beats, but she rarely made many friends. Her Deep blood red eyes would always scare off those that didn't know her well which is why she always wore her glasses, so she could hide her eyes behind the deep purple lenses.
But her music was where she lived and all too soon it had to end as the club owner, a red unicorn with an orange mane named Black Box, approached with her pay and to help pack up.
"Here you go vinyl 265 bits, not as much as you’d make in Los Pegasus but still for a night", Box exclaimed tossing a small bag in his orange magic at Vinyl.
"Thanks Box", Vinyl replied stashing the bag in her saddles bags, disappointed the night was already over.
"OK Vinyl now that the nights over what’s wrong?" Black said standing in front of Vinyl
"Nothing nothing I'm fine box just a little tired is all", Vinyl replied adding a fake smile to hopefully sell her story.
He wasn't buying it.
"Vinyl Scratch you used to work here almost every night when you first started out, and if there’s one thing I've learnt, it’s that you always come back here when something’s bothering you, to let it all out now what’s wrong?" he said blocking Vinyls path to the exit.
"Fine", Vinyl said knowing he wouldn't let this go, "I have done and seen everything Equestria has to offer and I still feel as though something’s missing and I just can’t tell what. It’s like a void that just won’t go away".
Black Box merely smiled knowingly at Vinyl. 'Sounds like somepony is looking for something you can only find in time my dear Vinyl".
Vinyl scratch looked at him strangely and replied," Oh? And what is that wise one?’
Black Box just laughed at this and said,"you will know it when you find it Vinyl now get out of my club before I lock you in here".
Vinyl merely shook her head as she walked out saddle bags on carrying her stuff before looking at the night sky in wonder.
“Luna really puts Celestia to shame when it comes to the night”
Trotting down the street while star gazing she noticed a bright slow moving star streaking across the sky leaving a blazing aurora behind it.
A shooting star!
Luna rarely made one of these beautiful creations streak across the sky, which was a real shame to Vinyl as she knew she would likely be one of the few creatures to witness this one tonight.
Vinyl stared at it for a few moments more before heading home, completely unaware that the star she looked upon on was getting closer and closer, moving with purpose scanning the planet constantly in its preparation for contact.
Authors notes
Well guys and girls I hope you enjoyed reading this. I got really fussy when writing this to the point I rewrote this about 4 times before I was satisfied and even then I got my grammar Nazi friend to check on it who then helped me fix this up.
Please leave any comments good or negative as even the bad ones help me become a better writer :)
And if you didn't like it please don't just dislike, leave a comment so that I can understand what you don't like and improve.
turnerwatson.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/grammar-nazi2.jpg
I am the Grammar Nazi.
Dont let the gramar nasis discourage you, you have a nice power going throught this letters, but you should be more awere of errors.
1693910 and its because you care i got you to check this for me
1693922 Yes, the Grammar Nazi does care.
interesting
lets see where you take this
I like the general premise of the story, but I must do some criticisms.
First, you do more 'telling' than 'showing'. You tell me what is happening, but you need to work on your descriptions. You do do some 'showing', but it is hard to get an actual image in my head of what is going on.
Second, you need to use more commas. There are times where commas should appear, but they are not there.
Third, sometimes you leave proper nouns, such as names, uncapitalized. All proper nouns should start with a capital letter.
Fourth, you also sometimes use ' at quotation marks. You should use " instead.
I like the story, if a tad predictable. And I am no writer, so I cannot give you good detailed advice, but I will try and help any way I can.
After watching Stargate, I can only think of Ascension as anything being similar to Stargate's representation
I like this story though
The story looks interesting, but as one of the posters mentioned before me, you could stand to 'show' a little more. Just adding descriptions of the surroundings and characters action s while they are speaking can go a long way.
And Vinyl's dialogue seemed kind of clunky to me.
Good idea, all right execution. I will be watching this.
started of pretty good keep up the good work
1693910
Colonel Klink FTW
This story is fantastic. I love stories in which a character thinks so much, in a logical way and doesn't confuse the reader. One thing though, you should do more descriptions of the area. It's not a dire trait to have, but if you can vividly describe a setting, your almost perfect. Definitely favorited, and if i may ask, why do single quotes for a character's lines, and double quotes for thoughts? It's usually the opposite on most (and my) stories
Sick idea, can't wait to see more.
1694421 understandable i will be honest when saying my grammar in general is crap and something i need to work on. The telling more then showing thing ... im not sure i really understand but ill try to fix that.
1694729 i've never seen Stargate....
1695085 yeah i find when i writing getting the dialogue to flow smoothly is a challenge for me
1695667 well i will definitely try to describe more ty for the advice and as for the quotes.... i have no idea... nobody seems to be complaining so.... *hides in a bush watching at a distance*
1695720 ty
1695200 thanks
1693921 the grammar Nazis are my friends they help me when i do something wrong
static3.fjcdn.com/comments/JESUS+Mother+of+Celestia+I+was+looking+at+the+bloody+_88e4334defddf1025218a29e5c9c1d8d.png
i post this, go to sleep and wake up to 61 likes 2 dislikes and about 100 favourites?!?!?!
thank you guys and girls so much
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/TIMEFOR.gif?1320234215
1693921 Grammar is essential.
Original idea, keep up the good work!
I give a fav and a like.
If you liked this story, you should read Cyberfire
It's my overall favorite story and I'm sure you'd like it too!
1696079 ty and yes... yes it is. which is why it infuriates me when i get it wrong
1696127 hay bro... ill leave the comment because i also love cyberfire.... *I'm actually reading the new chapter now* but please don't advertise. its kinda rude....
1696150
Okay, and the new chapter is awesome!
Interesting, i must say i am peeked, continue
1696061 Let's do this....
PAAAAAAARTY!!!!
1696171 ..... did u just say you liked it?..... omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg
Silver: DAMMIT you broke him! *drags Shadowless away*
1695584 i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/4/3/129147852445141778.jpg
1696171 Congratulations you broke one of my best friends.
I'll buy another brb.......
morethanshipping.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Congrats.jpg
1696018
You should, it's a very under appreciated sci-fi series
1696505 funny thing i have the series i've just never watched them
1696403
seahawknationblog.com/files/2010/08/sgt-schultz-hogans-heroes.jpg
Also SANDVICH!!!
ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=I.5000871706558536&pid=1.7&w=229&h=155&c=7&rs=1
I have a feeling this will be on the front page!
You've got my attention...
1696783 i hope so
1697214 memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/excellent-racoon.jpg
1697254
Well, getting my attention is an easy task... I'm quite sure you could even do it by jingling a key chain. The hard part is keeping it. If I can make a prediction. I'm guessing his emotions will get 're-activated', if you will, by the ponies? Also, you know what would make this guy all the cooler, if he had control of predator drones. i.imgur.com/PQ3HB.jpg?1
meh just wait and see i never did say anything in great detail about the weaponry he has with him did I?
1697315
1697348
Which even more-so makes me hope and wonder...
1696018
I always found that reading dialogue out loud helps. When you say it, you can sometimes catch the awkward phrasing or forced detail.
In any case, good luck!
1696553
Fo real? Like on DVD or on Netflix?
yaya at tis ratu tis will gat feturiid yayo i hupo u no fot mad. me no druk. alright enough dolan talk, i predict this will get featured soon enough, but i have just one advice, describe just as much as you want. 1695667 this guy is right , but just like the Great Hemingway sort of said: "Adjectives are eviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil !" they make us lose track of what it's happening in the story, and make the story confusing, unreal, and boring . So please don't overwhelm the story whit adjectives, just describe things we might find interesting, not every single expression,movement, or wig on top some pony's head.
1697739 I already predicted he might get featured before he published, as it is an original idea, and wel written/typed.
1697810 watch out we got a pre reader or friend over here.
1697823 Best Friend, prereader and editor.*
1697878 cool keep motivating him so he he keeps writing.
1697823 pre reader friend and grammar Nazi. Don't forget grammar Nazi
1696150
Hm. Alright all, don't hate on me TOO much when I write this...
IX here from Science Consultants, Inc. to review your fic's overall accuracy and literary merits, as well as to rear truth's ugly head now-and-then.
All in all, this wasn't bad. But it wasn't very good (or entirely as original as others make it out to be), either.
First issue? The actual accuracy of your premise. My good sir, how well did you research this before setting out writing it? It's thermonuclear war, for one thing. One word. Also: nanites. Seriously? I mean, you could've at least called them something DIFFERENT... You have numerous gaping plot holes that you could solve with LITERALLY thirty minutes of research: Speed of regeneration, Stasis, Orbital Mechanics, Psychoemotional effects of modification, etc.
And on the writing side, you don't fare much better: Grammar mistakes out the wazoo, poor phrasing, language not befitting a General's stature...
Look, it's not that I don't like your fic. But itis just so horribly, atrociously MANGLING my first impressions of it.
I will be placing it in the "Extensive Edits Required" section of my group, SCI, in order to provide you with thorough solutions to any problems we uncover.
Depressedly yours,
IX, founder of SCI
1697992 Prepare to get a massive reply from shadow........
1698096
S'okay, my good pre-reader/friend (if the latter, then I must meet this "Shadow")... I, like most reviewers and experienced people, am immune to dissent. And I don't suffer fools (or gratuitous Rene Descartes quotes, either) gladly. I can see a barrage of snowballs incoming
1698132 Lol, please keep in mind we do go to school still....... and are in the middle of it now.... in a storm.... so you may want to expect some delays...
1698153
What kind of school? I'd wager that I'm younger than you.
1697992 ok lets set out the plan of originality .
i made this fic simply because i could find no other like it. there are similar ones like cyberfire but none sharing the same idea. if you know of one please link it to me as i would love to read it
second the reason i haven't gone into any great detail in those regards is i don't want to have to repeat myself. im not explaining any more in that regard, cause otherwise it will be a spoiler.
third, the general is bordering on the destruction of our race. would you really, even if your in the top of military command could you stand at your imminent destruction stone faced without any slip ups?
and as for my grammar and writing style, if it was half as bad as you said, then my editors would have told me and even with all of us there will be a couple things slipping through so i implore you to point these out. that way i can correct or fix them.
also my spell checker refuse's to accept thermonuclear war and only accepted thermo nuclear war but i may change that when im able.
please dont take this as me saying dont keep reviewing as i want to hear more but, dont just say
actually point them out or offer possible replacements that you think will suit better
oh and last thing. if i explained every little thing in the story it will become over informative in a way and it would be simply boring. oh and i use things like nanites because its a simple term, gets what im saying across and easily reconisable
slightly annoyed
Shadowless_night
also cs.unc.edu/~welch/class/comp006-f03/Projects/images/chiles.jpg
INCOMING SNOWBALLS
1696018
Like I said before, I am not a writer and so I do not know how to properly explain the ideas I want to express. 'Telling' is when you tell the person what is happening in the story, simple as that. 'Showing' is similar, only you go into more detail as to what the character is seeing, hearing, feeling, etc. I find it kind of hard to imagine the scene where the character is at. Although when I re-read it, you do use some description, but I think that it could use a little more adjectives. Try and pain a picture with your words. Of course, going into TOO much detail is boring and pointless. (sorry if I am not making sense, I am trying)
I will still watch the story. Seems promising.
1699113 i understand as other comments agree that more detail is needed and I'm currently working on the second chapter, and with the help of my friends im managing to make it more descriptive with out overloading it (i hope)
1699162
This seems to be your first fic, so mistakes are to be expected. But by writing, you learn different things, and maybe you can establish your own style and distinguish yourself from the thousands of other fan fictions.
1697734 sos i didn't see your comment it was buried behind others. anyway yeah i got them on dvd