Previous Chapters Next
Close
Next floor: The Past2,642 words
Time paradoxes and pink party ponies2,361 words
From The space time continuum with love2,296 words
Past noponies and future celebrities.2,699 words
Can you rewrite time with a broken pen?2,062 words
Purple velvet in the fabric of time2,312 words
I bought some apples in the future!2,616 words
We just met tomorrow!2,904 words
Zap to the future.2,191 words
Gotta get zap in time2,172 words
Next floor: The Future1,045 words

Purple velvet in the fabric of time

Snips in Time

Tuesday afternoon
Celestia's and Luna's reign
Year 0

Snips was rolling around at the speed of sound, he had places to go and he had to save Rainbow. Too bad that he was being chased by an overly intelligent unicorn. Granted, Twilight wasn't usually the fastest of runners, but you'd be surprised how fast somepony could run when they were fueled with rage and curiosity.

Twilight was closing in, fast, too fast and Snips was pretty much screwed at this point, luckily for him a certain orange mare was rolling in with a cart of apples! Perfect! He grabbed the side of the cart and gained a questioning look from the mare pulling it. Then he flipped the cart over like flipping tables, causing an avalanche of apples to roll under Twilight hooves. Twilight was thrown off balance as planned and she collapsed on the ground with an "Oof!"

Snips felt his luck had finally turned.

"What in tarnation!? Whaddya think you're doing?" the orange mare said. Snips hoofed off once again, leaving a trail of dust behind him. "Why you...Come 'ere!!" she yelled after him.

"Ugh, get that book thief Applejack!" Twilight said.

"Forget yer books! Nopony tosses mah apples and gets away with it!"

"Are you kidding me?" thought Snips. The orange mare was as fast as a fricking wonderbolt! "I'm sorry! I'll pay for your apples tomorrow! Stop chasing me!!" he yelled to no avail.

"We'll have peace when you answer for the fruit slaughter of The Ponyville market, and for all the apples that lay dead there!" she yelled.

Snips galloped to a construction area and gained the glares of the workers there when he zipped past them, nearly causing lethal work place accidents every three seconds. Applejack was unfazed by this however and she hopped over the numerous workers and metal beams skillfully. Snips had only managed to slow himself down!

That would have been the end of Snips the time traveller, but at that moment he noticed a pile of wooden boards and came up with an idea, a brilliant plan where his hoofboard skills would save his flank! He grabbed the board with a levitation spell and hopped on it with his hind legs. The board didn't have any wheels tough.

Wheels? Where he was from, they didn't need wheels.

Thanks to future Twilight's excessive research of levitation, Snips was a master of the simplest spell a unicorn could learn. He levitated the board he was standing on and blasted off on his floating, makeshift hoofboard.

"Aww yeah!! I cant believe this is working!!" He yelled.

Applejack was so surprised she stopped on her tracks and simply stared in awe.

"What in the red silky morning slippers of Celestia!?" asked Twilight who had galloped over and joined Applejack in an annoyed yet surprised stare.

"I dunno he jumped on one of these boards and flew off with it! Since when did Ponyville workers use flying boards as construction material?" Applejack said confused.

"Since never!" said Twilight "That pony levitated the board, and used it as a ride."

"He did what now? Just who is he?" Applejack asked.
"I don't know....but I'm going to find out." said Twilight.

Snips hoofboarded across the town like he owned the place, completely forgetting that numerous ponies would see a technique, that would not be invented for another five years.

A certain mint colored pony caught sight of this display however and she could not believe it! A completely never seen before pony was floating around on a piece of wood with no effort, but more importantly, he was standing on his hind legs and doing something nopony had ever heard of.

There was only one explanation for this: This pony was not from this universe!

Snips didn't even have time to blink when he was tackled by the mint colored mare. He rolled on the ground and came to halt with the mare unicorn looking down on him, sporting an expression that he could not describe.

Snips recognized this pony as well, it was nopony other then Lyra Heartstrings.

"You!" she said suddenly.

"Aah! Yes! Me!" said Snips.

"You're not from around here, are you?" said Lyra.

"No, I'm uhh...from Canterlot...wait why did you tackle me!!?" Snips said annoyed.

"Oh, I saw the way you we're standing on two legs and doing something very unpony like! You're a human in Equestria right!?" she asked.

Lyra was an author in the future, she had written a long line of successful fantasy novels, based on mysterious creatures of her own creation called humans, the way she described this fictional world of humans was so detailed and so deeply imagined that it could have been real, the books were super popular and had spawned movies, merchandise and other trinkets based on the human mythology. Snips had heard that she was a little bit crazy tough, stating that the stories were actually real and not fantasy, like I said: crazy "but so are all great artists" thought Snips.

At this point Lyra was standing right above Snips and she was looking at him questionably.

"No, sorry, I'm a one hundred percent pony, but hey! If I see any humans I'll tell you." he said sheepishly.

"Aha!" Said Lyra.

"What?"

"You didn't even ask me what a human is!" she said.

"Oh come on! Everypony who doesn't live under a rock knows what a human is!" Snips said.

"You are!" said Lyra "You are a human! Tell me, what was your life like before you came to Equestria? Did you work at an dead end job? Have a miserable life? Did you look at us from that television thing?"

"What?! No! I was born here in Equestria!" Snips said.

"Oh really? When and where exactly?"

"In 992 of Celestia's reign, Ponyville hospital." Snips said without second thought.

Lyra rubbed her chin with a hoof and pondered what Snips had said for a while.

"Huh? You're telling me you're eight years old?" she said.

Snips was sweating nervously when he realized that he had just managed to get into timey-wimey trouble again.

"I meant that was the year when...when...that thing happened that I meant when I said that year." he said sheepishly.

"Oh! I get it! You've been in Equestria for eight years since you arrived from the human world? Perfect...just perfect" A disturbing grin was forming on Lyra's face and Snips felt himself shaking in fear. Then as Lyra reached out for the nearby hollow tree that contained the "human capture net", she was interrupted.

Twilight Sparkle had caught up with the hoofboarding thief and she marched over with huff and puff. Snips was so freaked out by Lyra, that when he saw the purple unicorn approaching, he felt so much relief that he didn't even attempt at running away.

"Twilight! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes..." he said.

"You...haah...stay...phew....right there..." she panted in exhaustion.

Then Snips took a good look at Twilight and was instantly mesmerized with the sight of this purple beauty, sweating and panting before him, he did as he was told and stood there with a dumb look on his face.

"Oh..hi Twilight...I didn't see you there..." he said.

"You just called out my name!" said Twilight angrily. "OK...look, Can you just...tell me who you are...I mean really?"

Snips opened his mouth when he was interrupted.

"He's a human!" Lyra said and pointed at him.

"..." said Twilight

"..." said Snips.

"A what!?"

"A human, a creature from another universe! They look at us from a machine called "television" and know all our ways! But don't let him fool you, He's just been turned into a pony!" Lyra said confidently and shook Snips around like she was expecting a mask fall off his face.

Twilight remained quiet for a while until she said:

"That...that just might explain a few things." she said.

"Oh, come on!!" said Snips.

"Whatever the case! You're coming with me! To the library!" Twilight said and grabbed hold of Snips. Naturally He blushed furiously when the lavender mare of his dreams took hold of his hoof (and his heart at the same time.)

"What...what are you going to do to me?" he asked nervously.

"First I'm gonna run some tests on you to make sure you're a real stallion."

Snips gasped. "...Wow...promise that you'll be gentle?" he said.

"Oh! I'm going to be as rough as I want with you!" Twilight said in anger.

"Yes!!" said Snips.

"Oh my gosh! Can I come too?" Lyra said in excitement.

Snips blushed even more, this was going to be one heck of a day.

"Sure, lets go hook this "creature" up." Twilight said,

And hook him up they did. Snips was taken to the library and attached to a variety of contraptions that included everything that you'd expect from Twilight's machines. Needless to say it wasn't what Snips had expected, yet everything went smoothly for Snips. The machines indicated that, he was indeed, a normal, unicorn stallion from Equestria. Things got bad however when they got to the lie detector.

"Well..." said Lyra. "Sure the machines couldn't prove that he's human...but that might be because the transformation is just too perfect! However! He cant lie to us about his true identity!"

Lyra had passed some notes to Twilight about "humans" and she had prepared a list of questions for him.

"Timey, do you know what a "human" is? Answer truthfully." she simply asked.

"Uhh...No?" he said.

The machine beeped, indicating that the answer was a lie. As you all probably know, Snips wasn't a human, but he had read future Lyra's books about them twice. This meant that he had an absurd knowledge of the creatures, even tough, at the time, the idea of humans was supposed to exist only in Lyra's head.

"Aha!" said Lyra triumphantly. "I knew it!"

Snips was in trouble again and he knew that the machine would beep through all of the questions and he would find himself in The Canterlot extra terrestial research center before he knew it. Once again he had to go through with an unpleasant route.

"No, Lyra!" he said and the mint unicorn looked at him curiously. "I know that because...I'm interested in humans as much as you are." which wasn't a lie, Lyra's books had made him quite curious. "I've been researching if they're real myself!" which was also true, since he had read the books he had attempted at finding out wheter they were actually real or not.

The machine did not beep, not a single sound came out of that thing and Lyra just stared at him. Snips was surprised, was she crying?

"I thought...I thought nopony else would understand...that I would always be treated like a crazy pony..." she said in tears of joy. "Even Bon Bon thought I was crazy! You're the only pony who understands!" Lyra said and then she hugged him deeply.

Snips felt awkward at this sudden approach from the mint colored unicorn and he chuckled nervously.

"Twilight! You must let him go, he's the only true friend I have, who has seen what I've seen." said Lyra in a dead serious tone.

"True friend? You just met him half an hour ago!" Twilight said.

"Twilight! True friendship is not measured in the time you spend with your friends but in the way you spend it!" Lyra said, then she stood up on a chair and spoke:

" When we honestly ask ourselves which pony in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hoof. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." said Lyra.

"Whoa...you just completed my entire study of friendship in one speech!" Twilight said.

"Oh buck!" thought Snips.

"And you just convinced me that Humans are real after all! I'm gonna go back to Canterlot university and prove it to them!" said Lyra.

"Oh hay!" thought Snips.

"And I'm gonna..." said Pinkie Pie.

"STOP!" said Snips "Stop this right now! Twilight your study of friendship is not over! And Lyra, you wont go to Canterlot University and you wont prove them anything! and you Pinkie you wont do...whatever it is that you do! And I'm gonna leave, save Rainbow Dash and get out of here before everything we know and love is destroyed!"

Snips panted in anger and all the ponies in the library remained silent. Then Pinkie Pie spoke up.

"Wow you sure are angry Timey...perfect...timing!" Pinkie snickered to herself. "Because I just set up your welcome to Ponyville party here in the library! That should cheer you up!"

At that moment the library was changed in an explosion of confetti and streamers to the most wackiest party that had ever existed. Random ponies of all kinds poured into the library in an unstoppable stream of colors and Snips lie detector apparatus was suddenly replaced with a party hat.

"Oh hey! Its that board surfing pony!" he heard the whispers in the crowd.

"Isn't that the pony who was in love with Rainbow Dash?"

"Nah, Spike told me Twilight had a crush on him."

"I heard he murdered apples!"

"And I heard that the entire universe will collapse in five seconds" said Snips.

To be continued in:

I bought some apples in the future!