Snips in Time

by FacadeArt

From The space time continuum with love

Snips in Time.

Monday afternoon
Celestia's and Luna's reign
Year 0

Snips stood there staring in awe at the smoking hot babe standing before him.

"Hi!" said the goddess "I haven't seen you before."

Oh my gosh! She was talking to him, the pretty girl was talking to him! Quick, say something cool.

"I'm a Timey" No! Stupid!

"Hello Timey, I'm Twilight Sparkle! Are you looking for a book today?" she said.

Of course! She was a genius who immediately knew what he was looking for! And he didn't even have to tell her anything! Could such perfection even exist? Could he possibly hide his true identity from this master mind? Would he even care at this point?

"...Yes" Snips answered dreamily.

"You're in the right place then!" Twilight giggled "Come on in, I'll see what I can do."

Snips almost had an heart attack! The pretty girl had asked him to come inside her house?

"Can I...come inside?" He asked in disbelief.

"Well, It is a public library after all." answered Twilight.

This was it! Snips' life was now complete, he would spend the rest of his days here with this lavender beauty and the love between them would last until all of the world was gone and the age of the mortals had ended! He trotted inside the library with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Sorry for the mess, my so called number one assistant was on clean up duty today but he overslept...that lazy dragon." Twilight muttered. "So what are you looking for Timey?"

"I'm not looking for anything anymore..." said Snips.

"What? But I thought you just said...? Oh well, if you'll need to find anything just ask me. I'll be by the reading table doing some research." Twilight said and trotted off back to her books.

Snips followed after her like an idiot and just stood next to her while Twilight read. Soon she felt awkward and turned towards Snips.

"Yes?" She asked annoyed.

Snips snapped out of his trance and shook his head. "Uh sorry, I was just...I was just interested in what you were researching!" he lied.

"Oh!" Answered Twilight and a smile returned to her face "I was studying self-levitation, you know how unicorns can levitate objects? I'm trying to find a way for unicorns to levitate themselves."

Snips knew this! He knew what to do! "Is that all?" He said. This was his chance to show off, so without a second thought he summoned a levitation spell and levitated himself off the ground. Twilight stood up in shock so fast that the books she was reading fell off the table.

"What? Where did you learn to do that!?" She said in awe. Snips quite enjoyed the attention the lavender mare was giving to him but then the question struck him and he realized what he had just done.

He had learned the self-levitation spell from a book.

A book written by Twilight Sparkle.

Ten years into the future.

And now he had taught the spell, that future Twilight would teach him, to the past Twilight Sparkle, before past Twilight Sparkle had even discovered the spell! Snips snapped back to reality and began to sweat bullets. Twilight noticed this and stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"I learned it...from a book." Snips said and he wasn't lying, only the book didn't even exist yet!

"Really? What was the book called?" Asked Twilight is suspicion.

Snips was really in it for now! His eyes were swatting around, unable to look straight into those lavender eyes. How could he ever lie to this beautiful mare?

"100 useful levitation spells for unicorns." he answered truthfully.

"Written by who?" asked Twilight.

The million bit question, the only one he couldn't answer truthfully or else the entirety of space and time would seize to exist! Luckily for Snips a purple dragon walked downstairs yawning.

"...Uhh what with all the racket?" he asked.

Snips recognized that it was Spike! But he was still so small it took him a while to connect the dots. Back in Canterlot university he couldn't even fit through a door yet here he was walking casually on steps inside a tree. Spike noticed Snips and then he saw how Twilight was staring at him.

"Hey Twilight, who's your new boyfriend?" Spike asked teasingly.

Twilight blushed and backed away from Snips.

All Snips could say was "Yes!!! Yes!!!"

Twilight gave him a glare "This is Timey, and no, he's not my "new boyfriend" I don't even have an old one!" Twilight said angrily.

"You telling me! You should really get out more." Spike said, enjoying how flustered Twilight had become.

"I don't see you walking around with a special somepony either!" Twilight said.

"Hey! I'm a dragon! And besides, I have a certain white mare just waiting for me out there." said Spike while he moved his eyebrows up and down.

"Keep dreaming, romeo!"

After being coldly reminded of his situation, Snips noticed that this was his chance! While the two friends argued he used a simple identification levitation spell (that he had also learned from future Twilight) and whispered the name of the book. Sure enough The Equestrian dictionary: 700 words of pony language explained by Ink Spots the unicorn floated over and he stuffed it into his scarf.

Twilight, however, had noticed Snips scurrying around her precious books. "What are you doing?" she asked angrily.

"Just checking out a book." Snips said and grinned sheepishly. Then he remembered that there was one thing he had to make sure of before he could even think of leaving "Aren't you gonna finish that research?"

"Why bother! Somepony has obviously discovered the self-levitation spell already! Ugh...I worked for weeks for nothing!" Twilight answered.

Not good!

If Twilight never discovers the self-levitation spell, Snips will never learn it, and if he doesn't learn it, Twilight will discover it yet if she does Snips will learn it too and...jeez time travelling was complicated! Snips realized however that he was staring down at a time paradox! Twilight had to continue the research and finish it no matter what!

"It wasn't for nothing! Self-levitation is a revolutionary spell that will change the way we look at unicorns like, forever!" He said.

"Yeah? But somepony beat me to it." said Twilight.

Snips found himself in a corner once again, how could he not go on for five minutes without risking the existence of time itself? He looked for a way out, anything that could get him out of this situation with clear colors, yet there was nothing else to it.

"Remember what I told you...about how I learned the spell?" He asked.

"Yes, yes, you said you learned it from a book." Twilight said in a bored tone.

Snips sighed and lowered his head "Well I uh..." his felt his heart wrenching.

"I lied."

Snips lied that he was lying! The amount of lies was enormous! Lies everywhere! How could he! When would all the lies stop!? Why, Twilight? Why!?

Twilight stared at him dumbfounded. "What?"

"I...I learned the spell by myself while I was studying..." Snips said and looked around the pile of books Twilight had been researching. " Levitation...aero...dynamics? Levitation aerodynamics." he said confidently.

"Really? That's what I was just studying!" Twilight said.

"Yeah, yes! So now you can continue your research and learn the spell that nopony else has learned before, right?" Snips asked hopefully.

Twilight looked at him in confusion "Well...you have learned it."

Oh yeah, there was that. "Uh...I don't count." said Snips while grinning sheepishly.

"Yes you do! You must be somepony even more smarter than me! Who taught you? What school did you go to?" Twilight asked. Now she was really excited to get to know this new pony. Snips secretly enjoyed the situation yet he knew that the fate of the world was hanging in the balance.

"Well, I was taught by you actually" he thought. The situation was hopeless so Snips decided to just "buck it!"

"Here, let me show you." Snips said and trotted over to the table. he picked up a quill and wrote down the self-levitation spell on the parchment. That would have to do "There you go! I've never written it down anywhere or in any book and I never will so I hope that if one day, for some reason, you decide to write a book you'll put that spell in it and credit it to yourself."

"That was...oddly specific." Twilight said.

Then Snips noticed that Twilight was checking out his flanks! Maybe this whole thing wouldn't turn out to be so bad after all.

"You don't have a cutie mark."

Or maybe it would.

"Nope, been a blank flank my whole life, no cutie marks of any kind. Now if you'll excuse me I have some business to attend to." Snips said and made for the door. Twilight however wouldn't let him leave that easy so she stood in his way.

"You're not going anywhere!" she said.

Oh my gosh! Had Snips' seemingly unlimited knowledge of levitation finally overwhelmed her? Was she going to jump on him and they would finally kiss in passionate love!? Snips did not know for sure, but he did know one thing for certain: his body was ready.

"You just walk in here, claiming to be somepony named Timey who I've never met before, perform a complicated undiscovered spell right in front of me, get nervous when I ask you where you learned it from, lie to me, steal one of my books and you're a grown stallion who doesn't even have a cutie mark! And now you're expecting me to just let you walk off just like that?" said Twilight angrily. Ok, his body was not ready after all.

"Yes?" said Snips Sheepishly.

"No!" answered Twilight "You tell me right now who you really are and where you're from!"

Suddenly Spike chimed in "Oh come on Twilight!" he said "You just want him to stay because he's the only hot stallion you've ever met who's into magic research as much as you are."

"Yes! You're my man Spike!" said Snips.

The library fell silent at this statement. Even Spike was surprised.

"How'd you know my name?" Spike asked.

Snips was sweating like crazy again "Uh...Twilight told me?"

"No, I didn't" said Twilight.

Snips eyes swatted left and right again. Then he remember a line that would get anyone out of any situation imaginable.

"Cheese it!" he shouted to nopony in particular.

Snips teleported out of the library in a flash (a spell he had also learned from future Twilight) much to the surprise of Twilight Sparkle, since she was supposed to be the only unicorn, at the time, capable of teleportation.

"Come back here you book thief!" Twilight screamed yet it was too late, Snips was gone.

"Did you see that!? He teleported! I thought only you could teleport Twilight!" Spike said.

"So did I..." said Twilight " but I will find that weird stallion yet, if its the last thing I do!"

"Why? So you can kiss him?" said Spike.

"Spike!"

Snips had barely escaped from the situation but Twilight would no doubt want to get to know him even more now (a thought that he secretly enjoyed, a lot) so for the sake of space and time, he had to keep his distance from the only pony he had ever loved! Oh love is such a cruel mistress!

He teleported the rest of the way to the time machine for he dared not trot over there in case another pony would show up and risk the existence of the universe again.

Constant teleporting was demanding however, so an exhausted Snips stumbled over to the time lift and pressed the button

*DING* chimed the lift.

He trotted inside and shut the doors. "That was too close, way too close..." he said.

"Having a bad day?" asked the voice. It was Sparkle the computer who Snips had forgotten was the rogue AI inside the time machine.

"Oh yeah...you're here too." Snips said.

"Did you miss me?" Asked the computer teasingly.

"Not really..." sighed Snips. "Can you check something for me?"

"Like I have previously stated, I'll do anything for you master." the computer answered.

"Who's credited for the self-levitation spell in 100 useful levitation spells for unicorns by Twilight Sparkle?" he asked.

"Analyzing...A unicorn stallion that goes by the name of "Timey", no further information available." answered the computer.

"Fantastic...just fantastic..." Snips sighed even louder.

"Say Sparkle, you have a familiar name, who created you anyway?"

"Twilight Sparkle of The Sparkle Technologies" the computer answered.

"Huh...I think I just met your creator..." said Snips.

"Really? What was she like?" the computer said.

"A super hot babe!" Snips said without thinking, "I mean...a...totally boring nerd."

"Was she now? You know my artificial intelligence is largely based on the personality of Twilight Sparkle, just something to think about. Heck, Maybe we're the same in more ways then one, why don't you find out by, say, pressing the heart shaped button?" said the computer in the voice of Twilight Sparkle, Snips noticed.

"Still not pressing it" Snips said "Look, I got the book, what now?"

"Now you'll have to toss it into the fuel compartment." said the computer.

Snips opened the fuel compartment and tossed the book inside. With a puff of rainbow smoke the book was gone and the fuel gauge had filled up a little.

"Uhh I like it when you stuff things into me!" The computer said in Twilight Sparkle's voice.

"Aww jeez, really? Really!? You're going there!?" said Snips.

To be continued in:

Past noponies and future celeberties.

Comments

[TheNextGamer]

this fanfiction.
I like this shit.

[Jack D. Knights]

[bahatumay]

...oops. That was close.
Wait! If Snips told Twilight the spell, but Twilight told Snips the spell, who actually learned the spell in the first place?

[Telly Vision]

Ah time it never happens in the correct order.

[butterfield pancake]

If you remember Baby Cakes [Seasn 2 Episode] Pumpkin leviated herself

[butterfield pancake]

1648415 Perhaps Celestia?

[FacadeArt]

1664139

This takes place before that tough...actually, I think Snips screwed up the timeline so bad already that continuity has been completely destroyed.