Trixie & The Haberdasher's Dungeon

by SneakyKGB

Easing Them In

Chapter Five: Easing Them In

Once they'd established that there was no possibility of killing, maiming, burning, cutting up, crushing, poisoning, robbing, or otherwise inconveniencing the Nightmarist soldiers things progressed much more smoothly. Luna and Trixie had found peace for long enough to work together and interrogate the people of the fictional town, albeit a little more forcefully than was necessary. Rumors were abound that Stars Hallow was suffering nightly attacks from a giant monster, which was kidnapping their children. Despite the many claims, no one had actually seen a creature. It was rumored that the diamond dogs from the nearby woods were behind it, and Luna was insisting that they investigate further.

"Why would Lulamoon help any more than she already has?” Trixie inquired with an airy tone. “Stars Hallow is clearly a rebel province, Lulamoon doesn’t care about traitors.”

"Awh, have a heart," Joe replied, "there’s foals being taken.”

As had been the standard, Luna was taking the situation more seriously than the stallion. “Thou have already seen the cruel ways of the Nightmarists. Surely your newfound companions have shown you there is merit in fighting on the side of freedom and goodness?" Luna's eyes twinkled as she leaned towards the showmare imploringly.

This was one of many similar exchanges, due to them the group was making little progress on their investigation. They’d already had several small skirmishes with Nightmare soldiers and villagers alike. Topstitch had been elected the party diplomat after Trixie attempted to raze a farm when the owner wouldn’t give her the location of the local rebellion. With him in charge they were actually beginning to make progress, rather than stumbling from each pointless scuffle to the next.

Progress in their quest led them into the heart of the woods. They’d heard enough accounts of canine creatures being spotted on the outskirts of the village. With little more than educated guesses they resigned themselves to searching for the diamond dogs, hoping to take a patrol hostage at Trixie’s advice. The showmare had taken tactical command of the adventure, using her companions as one would a flashlight or a compass.

"Volikhar, detect life essence,” commanded Trixie, invoking her upper-crust Lulamoon voice. She stared at Mwali expectantly.

Socks popped up from his cardboard fortress until only the top half of his eyes were visible. He stared at Trixie and spoke exasperatedly, "Trix, you know you could do that yourself, right?"

Trixie feigned appall, "Magic is a limited daily resource, how can Trixie support her party if she's wasting magic on detection spells?"

With a small shake of his head Socks looked back at Mwali to confirm he was okay with it. The zebra gave a short nod and Socks disappeared once more. The sound of rolling dice was heard behind his screen. Mwali had been silent for most of the evening, Trixie noticed. It seemed like he was overwhelmed with all the game jargon, but that suited the showmare just fine. It meant that she could use his character however she wished as if it were an extension of her own. Socks, however, had his doubts about her system. The zebra rolled his own dice to see if he could beat the haberdasher’s result.

"Good roll, nineteen," Socks muttered, looking over his screen to confirm the number. “Right. The patrol you’ve been after changed course, they’re to your east now. There’s also a cave bear nearby.”

“What can you tell us about the bear?” Trixie shouted, lunging across the table. “Knowledge check, arcane!”

Socks rolled his eyes, “Mwali doesn’t even have that skill.”

“What concern is a common bear to our quest?” Luna asked.

“We’re in a forest,” said Trixie, her stare hard like a club to the head. “There are all sorts of animals around, Socks wouldn’t mention a bear if it wasn’t important. Now, TO THE CAVE!” Trixie pointed towards the sky in the direction of her imaginary objective.

“We should probably focus on our job,” said Topstitch, aware that he was treading on landmines. “Unless you really think the cave bear is important.”

Trixie nodded her head vehemently, “Caves have loot, if we don't travel off the hatter's finely crafted rails we'll miss out on all the treasure. Trixie won't allow it.”

Luna pounded a hoof on the table. "Is thy heart non-existent, Lulamoon? While thy thirst for riches is sated, the good people of Nightmare Equestria suffer. What will it take to make thee our ally?”

“A lot of gold, and a much more reliable rebellion,” replied Trixie smugly.

The princess sighed, “You leave Us no choice, Great and Powerful Trixie. We shall pursue the diamond dogs while thou may follow thine own path.”

"Never split the party!" Trixie wailed, waving a threatening hoof at all those assembled.

Joe shrugged, “Y’know, we can get more done. If some of us stick around we can get an idea of what the diamond dogs are up to, an’ the other group can load up on goods. Could be a pretty sweet idea.”

"Never. Split. The. Party." Trixie replied, accentuating each word with a poke. "Trixie knows best, she has championed more campaigns than your pony minds can comprehend."

Thunder rumbled outside, causing nearly everyone to jump. The noise shook the walls and table so that their dice bounced about it. After her two previous encounters with lightning that evening Trixie was convinced the weather was out to get her. The trembles in the floor set her teeth chattering. The others had almost forgotten about the storm entirely by that point, though it had heightened significantly since they began to play. Socks decided to take that chance to call for a break, before Trixie and the others could continue arguing. As soon as the showmare attempted to excuse herself for a drink, however, she was quickly besieged by the other ponies’ beverage requests.

“That was a good start, I think,” Socks said, standing to stretch at the grumbling mare left the room. “Everyone enjoying themselves?”

A flurry of approval went around the table. Socks appreciated it, but things had gone quite far from how he had planned. It had been such a long time since he’d hosted a game that he’d forgotten how easily a group of players could derail a story. They’d been playing nearly an hour already and the group had only just started to explore the woods. It weighed on his mind that he had so much left in his notebook that was going to be wasted if they didn’t pick up the pace.

Luna interrupted his thoughts, “This form of game is more fun than I had anticipated. I can see now why Trixie enjoys it to such an extent.”

"You're more than welcome to come back!” Socks replied, his usual delight returning in leaps and bounds. “In fact, I beg you to.”

"Yeah," Donut Joe piped in, "I just wish we could do a little more fightin'."

"Never fear, I've got absolutely oodles of plans for you five." Socks gave a conspiratorial laugh, unsettling the donut maker.

Luna spoke again, “Do we really intend to follow through Trixie’s plan to visit the cave bear? What use could an animal have for riches?”

“Perhaps she is loud,” said Mwali, voice croaking slightly from the silence he’d been stewing in. “but it is true that she has played these games more than any of us. I, for one, would trust her judgment.”

“She’s a hoot,” cooed Socks as he flipped through his notes, looking for ways to speed things up.

The haberdasher was distracted, however, by the eerie green glow sweeping over his papers. Socks cocked his head to the side as he looked up at his players for the source. Joe, Luna, and Topstitch were in the midst of a hockey game on the table utilizing a crumpled ball of paper as the puck and their magic to propel it across the table. Their horns were all glowing, but none were green. Socks looked back at the table in time to see his emerald dice flicker faintly.

“Mwali,” said the shocked haberdasher, “you never told me these were magical...”

The zebra turned slowly to face him. When Mwali saw the dice in Socks’ hoof his eyes went wide, his gaze flopping briefly between Socks and the dice before settling on the former. “T-they’re not, so far as I know.”

“Reeally?” the haberdasher simpered, scratching his chin as he took a closer look.

They had caught the attention of the others by that time. Luna had replaced her childlike grin at the game of paper hockey with a small frown. As Topstitch and Joe looked at the twenty-sided die as well though, it quickly dimmed. A hush fell over them, waiting for something else to happen. Socks dropped the die on the table, and five pairs of eyes tracked it as it rolled across the surface and came to a halt. It was just as dark as it had been when Mwali gave him the set.

Socks tittered with delight as he figured it out first, “It reacted to your magic, Your Highness!”

“What do you mean?” asked Topstitch.

The stallion explained, “Magic, you were all using magic!”

“Why did they not react before?” said Luna as she reached out to scoop up the die. It was warm to the touch. “All of us were using magic whilst we made our characters.”

Luna rolled the die to and fro between her hooves. It seemed ordinary enough, but she couldn’t imagine anyone enchanting dice to glow around magic. It wasn’t a practical light source if it took that much magic to use it in the first place. Luna’s horn glowed faintly as she reached out toward the die, probing it gently with her magic in an effort to detect its own. There was nothing there, the object was just as dead as anything else in the room. That alone was worrying.

“Maybe we should put those away, Socks. I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’d feel better if you use another set,” said Topstitch.

Luna blinked, severing the flow of her magic. Topstitch’s suggestion seemed wise, but it didn’t sate her curiosity. Changing tactics, she used an information spell on Socks’ dice, including all of them in her magical grasp this time. The whole set resonated, glowing just slightly at the powerful magic it took to read their purpose. Luna closed her eyes, concentrating on the well of knowledge flowing into her mind, and was astounded to find nothing. The princess looked around again, clearly becoming frustrated as her efforts were met with nothing. Socks and the others looked fascinated, apart from Mwali. The zebra’s apprehension was palpable.

Abruptly, several thing happened. Trixie returned, bearing half a dozen drinks in her telekinetic grip. Luna felt a shock run through her body, and found herself unable to sever her magic. The dice exploded with light, glowing with the brilliance of tiny green stars. Mwali fell out of his seat, fumbling to escape the spectacle as Socks whooped loudly in both alarm and pleasant surprise. The dice began thrumming loudly. Luna stood up and tried to move away, but the dice had bound her with some invisible tether. They were not only using her magic, they were absorbing it little by little, growing brighter and brighter.

“Hatter!” Trixie grunted, dropping all the drinks to the floor, “What ridiculous sort of stunt are you trying to pull now? The Great and Powerful Trixie can hardly be impressed with cheap illusions.”

“It’s out of my hooves” Socks cried, “I haven’t the slightest clue what’s happening... oh but it’s exciting.”

Rolling her eyes the unicorn mare reached out to snag the dice from Luna with her own magic.

“Trixie, halt!” Luna shouted, but it was too late.

Trixie’s eyes went wide as she felt the same shock as Luna. The showmare recoiled immediately, trying to pull herself out of the room and shut out all traces of magic. The strain of fighting back felt like it might tear her horn straight out of her head, causing Trixie to wince and yelp. It was no use, she was attached to the dice the same as Luna. The whole set took to the air and began to rotate slowly, like a little green solar system diorama. The others had began a panicked frenzy as well, trying to wrest the dice from the air or pull Luna away from it. Topstitch was tugging on Trixie’s head like a lunatic, with no results besides a thoroughly agitated mare.

Meanwhile Mwali was edging around the table, eyes trapped on the spectacle before them. Fear was plain on his features, he was about to bolt for the exit. Well, not on Trixie’s watch. As soon as the zebra started to move the unicorn mustered her strength into her haunches and launched herself at him. They connected in a spinning heap of fur as she pinned him to the ground. Had he not been so confused by her sudden attack, her might’ve realized how easily he could throw her off.

“Let me go, you pony fool!” he shouted.

Even in the face of danger Trixie shook her head stubbornly. She yelled as Socks’ dice began to thrum louder and louder, filling the whole house with the noise,“Where do you think you're going? You are Trixie's slave, and Trixie demands that you fix this!”

“Get off, you lunatic mare,” Mwali spat, “Let me go or else, I swear-

“OH BY ALL MEANS, RHYME TRIXIE TO DEATH,” the mare bellowed, clinging to Mwali as he began to fight back.

“Guys, keep calm,” Joe called out, “I'm gonna figure this out.”

Instead of attempting to use magic Joe was futilely attempting to yank the dice out of the sky. All he accomplished was swinging around the room in a wide circle, clinging to a six-sided die with both hooves.

“Okay,” said Joe, panting, “maybe not.”

Luna gasped for air, “Do not fear! My sister will feel the disturbance, she and the royal mages can stop this if we can hold on.”

If her heart held even half of the conviction that was in her voice Luna wouldn’t have been so afraid as she was. The princess was terrified. Papers flew around in a small storm as the noise from the dice grew to a dull roar. Despite all this, Luna could still feel no magic coming from the objects. It would’ve been impossible for anyone else to sense them. Whatever they had begun showed no signs of stopping, and the chaos the others were causing was only making it worse. Trixie was pumping more and more magic into to the dice as she struggled with Mwali, forgetting that she was supposed to be fighting the tether. Luna shouted to them, but her voice was lost.

The glowing of the dice reached a crescendo. Everypony was temporarily blinded and rushed to cover their eyes. The sensation of flying gripped all of them, and unable to see anything they were clueless as to whether that was really the case. Sickening dizziness began as the room felt like it was spinning, spinning down through a blizzard that left them all shivering. The only noise was the overwhelming sound of the dice vibrating in the air somewhere in the center of all of them. Topstitch was calling out for both Socks and Trixie but his voice went unheard. Still, amidst all the noise and chaos, within her mind Trixie felt solace. Solace in the fact that there were worse ways to go out than playing Age of Nightmare.

* * *

Luckily that didn't come to pass. There was a loud and uncomfortably familiar crack. The green light was gone and the buzzing of the dice had ceased entirely. The floating feeling dissipated before it stopped entirely and Trixie felt her body thump onto solid ground. The sounds of roaring wind and sensation of icy rain had been replaced with intermittently chirping birds and the noise of grass rustling underhoof. The showmare forced her eyes open, seeing blades of green parted by her muzzle and further ahead a copse of trees which surrounded her from all sides.

It only took Trixie a moment to jump to her hooves. Instantly, she realized something else was different. The weight on her form had doubled at least, and soft fabric slid against her coat as she shifted to look herself over. A cloak of deep royal purple lay over her back and shoulders, hemmed with runed silver lining, with a bunched up neckline and pleating across the bottom that made it look like a pair of wings. A massive insignia dominated the middle of the garment, a crescent moon crossed with a star scepter across the lower arc, Trixie's own cutie mark. In addition to the cape she wore hefty armor plates on her forelegs, and thick metal boots over her back hooves, both in shades of royal blue and lined with pale gold.

Hesitantly, Trixie reached for her hat and examined it. Gone was the eight-panel yellow monstrosity. It was a true witch's hat. Dark purple to match the cape, and hemmed in silver around the extra-wide brim. There was a band of braided gold rope around the base of the crown and the same dangling from the tip of the hat, affixed to golden star. Trixie's cutie mark was again stitched into the article, embroidered in silver thread on the front-left of the crown. There were no holes, no scuffs, no ragged inner lining. Trixie could see no stains or blemishes or imperfections of any kind. The hat was pristine, gorgeous, and best of all: free.

After giving the accessory a brief hug she secured it tightly upon her head. Freed of her awe, Trixie surveyed her surroundings in the clearing. Mwali was laying nearby, his trappings had similarly changed and augmented into a rune-covered robe-like ensemble. The zebra was shaking himself off and glaring at Trixie with unchecked distaste. The mare was taken off guard, with little more than a change in expression the zebra now seemed like an entirely different pony. It piqued her curiosity, true, but mostly... mostly it ticked her off.

“Save your glares for somepony who cares,” she said, poking her nose at the sky. “You've got nothing on Trixie.”

Trixie's horn began to glow as she focused magic into a detection spell. A faint glimmer appeared before her eyes, invisible to Mwali, and spread out from the point where she stood. The circle slowly grew until, with a painful twinge to her horn, it expanded rapidly to encompass everything around them. Trixie winced as the spell went completely haywire, she cut off her magic and rubbed her aching temple as the clearing returned to normal. The mare growled and kicked at the leaves on the ground. Cheap detection spells, that was the last time she swapped secrets with another showpony.

“It didn't work,” Mwali commented, a notable lack of surprise. “Even you should be able to figure out what happened.”

Trixie retorted the only way she could think of, by sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry at Mwali. Still rubbing her head, she put some serious thought into it. The clothing, their surroundings, it was all familiar. Trixie felt as though she'd been wandering through the woods for hours, though she'd only just woken up there. Then there were the birds, chirping away like it was early morning despite the darkened sky. It even smelled like morning. The moon itself shone far more brightly than Trixie could ever remember, and it was absolutely huge. It clicked in her brain at the same time as she heard hoofsteps tromping away.

“We're in the game,” she muttered. Turning around, she saw that Mwali was leaving her behind and wandering off in a seemingly random direction. Trixie hurried to catch the zebra, pulling ahead of him and shaking his broad shoulders spastically, “That explains why Trixie's magic didn't work, Trixie doesn't even know why she doubted herself... that insane clothier has dragged us all into his game world.”

With some effort the zebra pried himself free. “We don't have time to be playing about, follow me closely and I'll find us a way to get out.”

“Out? Trixie joined this charade to prove she was a better Nightmare player than Socks, and Trixie isn't leaving just like that. Follow Trixie and she will undoubtedly lead you to victory.”

The zebra regarded her incredulously. Exactly how was he supposed to get through to this mare? Even a jackhammer would probably go dull before it cracked her head. “Perhaps you have the time to sit and play around, but in this, and many other things, you and I stand on different ground.”

Trixie laughed, “Finally, you seem to be catching on. Never fear, Trixie will forgive your renegade attitude of late and allow you to accompany her once more. Trixie’s first order of business is to find that cave with all the treasure, then regroup with the others.” Without further ado the showmare pranced off into the woods, leaving Mwali behind.

For a brief moment Trixie’s own words echoed in her head: ‘never split the party!’ but she dismissed them. Surely this changed things. Trixie felt invincible.

Following Trixie’s instincts in a dark forest within a dangerous alternate reality seemed like the worst idea in the world. Mwali couldn’t tell if she was insane, stupid, or both, but he knew that he needed her. Without her unicorn magic he had about as much chance of getting out as he would if he were an acorn or a leaf. As much as it made him want to squish her head for trapping him there in the first place, he realized he had truly become her slave. Begrudgingly he took off after her, traversing the woods like a shadow in comparison to the azure mare. Trixie tromped along with no particular care, swishing her tail through the leaves as if making as much noise as possible was her personal pleasure. Mwali could already tell this would be an intolerable partnership.

* * *

A ways away and a while later Princess Luna came to her senses. As she lifted her head dead leaves and small twigs clung and snagged in her mane as it floated lazily beside her. Luna gave her head a good shake, trying to clear her blurry vision and the pain in her forehead and horn. The green flash from the dice had burned spots into her retinas and everything in her field of view seemed to be swaying gently. A ridiculous thought came to mind almost as quickly as she cast it aside: could she be drunk? Luna remembered partaking in nothing alcoholic, but the situation was eerily similar to others she shamefully recalled.

“Psst.”

The voice came from somewhere to Luna's right. Besides this whisper she also heard several other voices talking distantly, the crackling of a fire, and the shuffling of what sounded like large feet.

“Luna.”

Realizing that the voice was somewhat familiar, Luna tried to focus a little harder. Although unable to determine what had happened in the aftermath of the flash, she realized the others could be in danger. The entirety of Canterlot could be in danger for all that she knew. Luna willed her vision to improve as she looked around the short room, her head nearly touched the uneven muddy brown ceiling, she was suddenly conscious of a pain in her legs. It would've been nice if everything could have just stopped moving. Luna gave her head a final shake, ridding it of the last shapeless blurs in her vision, and abruptly wished she hadn't.

The uneven muddy ceiling, it seemed, was actually an uneven muddy patch of mud. The ground swayed below her because she was dangling upside-down above it. That also explained the pain in her legs as she peered up to see the ropes secured around her limbs. Luna noticed with a bit of panic that her wings were also bound. Before she could ask what was wrong she heard the pony beside her say something again and turned to see Topstitch and an unconscious Donut Joe dangling beside her. The seamster's face sported a cut on one side and it looked like he'd been struck rather hard there.

“Topstitch,” Luna whispered, catching on quickly that this wasn't an elaborate party game. “Where are the others, does thou knoweth what happened to them?”

He shook his head, his normally calm and cool voice was shaky as he replied, “I don't know, Princess, Trixie and Mwali weren't there when I woke up.”

Luna's heart played a somber chord. It was her fault if something had happened to them, she should've been able to repel whatever magic had taken them by surprise. “How did we come to be in this state, do you know?”

In reply Topstitch jerked his head to the side, generating a bit of extra sway as he did so. Luna followed the motion a few yards away. There she saw a massive bonfire and large figures mulling around the flames. They were clearly canine, diamond dogs. Why did that sound familiar? Luna shook slightly, trying to get her wings free, when she remembered she had a better solution. What else was that lump between her eyes good for if not emergencies? Admittedly, just about everything. The princess channeled her magic as she had done so many times before, focusing it and... nothing. Not even a glimmer of light or a puttering spark.

“This... bodes ill,” Luna said to herself.

“An understatement,” Topstitch replied, wincing. “I tried to use magic, but...”

Luna realized it with horror. Topstitch's own horn had been decimated. All that remained of the stallion's magical conduit was a jagged stub. The shock must've shown on her face, because the seamster looked away. Luna quickly felt guilt, and anger on his behalf. The princess thrashed again, trying to break her bonds, lash out with magic, do something. It yielded no results, she was only wearing herself out. To harm another creature was unthinkable, but to take a unicorn's horn was a crime akin to robbing one's soul. Even with the combined strength of both wings and all her limbs none of the ropes budged. Eventually, the princess fell limp once again.

“I'm sorry,” she said softly, clenching her eyes shut. “were I a stronger mare or a wiser ruler, this wouldn't have happened.”

“S'up with the long faces?” a groggy voice asked. Donut Joe had woken up, and was now regaining his senses as Luna had moments before. What he saw wasn't any more encouraging than the scene the princess had woken to, and the dismayed faces of his friends didn't add to it. His eyes locked on the diamond dogs mulling about nearby, “uh, I missed somethin’.”

Joe shook his head again, then he saw Topstitch and the damage that had been dealt to the stallion. Joe's lips formed a surprised 'o' as he bit back the exclaim that jumped in his throat. The three of them hung in silence, still apart from Joe's efforts to pull apart his bindings, just as Luna had tried to do. Donut Joe was likewise met no success, and his face had contorted into a look of confusion.

“I can't use my magic,” he announced, “You guys- er, Princess, you too?”

“I have tried, it would seem the element of magic holds no sway here. It has been some time since I've seen a warding spell that had any effect on my sister or I.” Sharing this information didn't make her feel any better about it either.

“Exciting, right?” Another voice spoke, jubilant to the last syllable.

Joe twisted, causing his body to spin slightly. The donut maker gave a shout as he turned face-to-face with a pony in a black hood. “I got kids! I'm too young! I left my oven on!” Donut Joe struggled against his ropes, trying his best to swing away from the embodiment of death looming before him.

“Knee Socks,” Luna said, ignoring the spectacle as the newcomer claimed her curiosity.

The pony in question nodded bouncily and reached up to pull back his hood. Golf-cap still in place beneath the hood, Socks looked pleased as ever with current events. More importantly, he was on the ground. The only major difference was the thick black cloak that covered every inch of his body, with the exception of the bright blue socks he wore. “At your service, your majesty! I'm simply tickled, have you seen this place? I haven't got the slightest clue what it all means but I. Am. Loving it.”

“Do you know what happened?” Luna asked, turning her head to keep Socks in sight as she rotated slightly when Joe’s momentum knocked him into her.

Socks shrugged, “Glowy lights, smelled like fish, lots of muttering. I woke up, and I can do this now. The ground bubbled like hot oil, inaudible whispers surrounded the clearing. A sense of terrible misfortune lurks here.”

As the pony rambled Luna began to think he'd lost his mind, at least until his narrations came true. Luna could hear them, like a thousand strangers chanting spells just beyond her hearing, she could see the mud around them broiling and popping as if it was about to explode. More importantly, she saw that the commotion had aroused the suspicions of the nearby diamond dogs. Luna attempted to silence Socks with a look, but the mad haberdasher was giggling as his words took form around them.

“Socks...” Topstitch muttered glaring miserably into the eyes of his friend, “Socks, you great idiot, we're in your game.”

“I know!” the haberdasher exclaimed. “It sounds crazy, but that's absolutely it. Every inch of this place is just the way I imagined it, down to the last diamond dog.”

The princess interrupted them, “If this is thy game, and thou are truly in control of it then you must end it. Turn the game off, that we may return to Canterlot.”

Socks shrugged with a ridiculous smile, “I can’t, I’m sorry. I don’t know how, or if I even can. You should feel what it’s like, I can see everything as if I was there. Things just happen however I imagine it. I can see Trixie and Mwali right now, heading towards the cave bear. Incredible, the best feeling in the world, or close to it.”

“Hey, uh, not to interrupt but we need a little dog-be-gone or something,” said Donut Joe, jerking his head towards the camp. The diamond dogs were approaching them slowly, though they appeared confused more than anything else.

“What?” Socks exclaimed, “That's what you're here for. You wanted to clear out the diamond dogs. I did a roll while you were all asleep and you got captured. How are you going to get loose?”

“Get loose?” Topstitch mimicked, his tone growing more sour by the minute. “Socks, this is your game, wish them away and you can cut us loose!”

The haberdasher shook his head, “Sorry, right. I'm being stupid. The ropes snapped with no warning, releasing the three of you just in time to take up arms against the advancing enemies.”

Luna heard it before she felt it. The rope holding her in the air gave way, breaking for no apparent reason, and dropped her to the floor. With the tension loosened she managed to push her wings out, catching herself before the ground found her face. The princess of the night beat her wings furiously at the approaching diamond dogs, buffeting them and slowing them but ultimately not discouraging their advance. They jeered and crept closer, drawing bladed weapons and bludgeoning tools from poorly constructed belts. Their stench was almost worse to bear than their murderous intents.

“Socks!” Topstitch shouted.

The cloaked figure was nowhere to be seen.

“Cover thine ears,” Luna advised, pushing Topstitch and Joe behind her as soon as the latter had recovered from his collision with the ground. The donut baker fought to put himself between the princess and danger, but her wings blocked him. Luna took a deep breath... and spoke, “LISTEN TO US, AND LISTEN WELL, FOR THY VERY LIVES DEPEND UPON IT. WE ARE PRINCESS LUNA, LADY OF THE NIGHT, SHEPHERD OF THE MOON AND ONE OF THE RULERS OF EQUESTRIA AND ALL HER SUBJECTS. IF THOU WOULD DO HARM UPON US OR OUR SUBJECTS IT WILL BE UNLEASHED BACK UNTO YOU A THOUSAND-FOLD. FEAR US, OR LOVE US, BUT THOU WILL RESPECT US.”

The diamond dogs stopped their advance. The Royal Canterlot Voice reined them in like a storm, forcing the dogs to dance backwards and reconsider their actions. Only a few of them really seemed to be paying attention to what the princess said, the other mutts stared dimly up at their pack-mates for guidance. Luna flexed her wings, eying them nervously. Donut Joe ducked under the wing and stood beside her, digging at the ground in a clear threat. All at once the diamond dogs began to laugh.

“You... you pony, princess?” the largest one guffawed in his gravelly voice, “Pony princess all gone! Diamond dogs rule woods now. Hah! And ponies think we the stupid ones.”

“W-what?” Luna faltered, “What does thou mean? Didst thou not hear the authority of Our royal tone?”

Apparently not. The diamond dogs were skulking towards them again, forcing the group of ponies to retreat further. Topstitch looked for an out, but without knowing the forest around them they could just as easily run into something worse rather than a way to escape. Joe sneered and scuffed at the ground, Luna batted her wings and fruitlessly continued her efforts to shout back their foes. It didn't take a scholar to figure out that they had no fighting skills, let alone weapons to defend themselves with. The irony of it all was that between the three of them, even the slightest bit of magic would've been enough to provide a distraction. Yet none of them could summon the faintest spark.

Except they could. Topstitch's eyes fell on a spot at the base of Joe's neck, where his coat was stained with many small black markings. “Joe... you have a mark,” he said.

“Pardon?” Joe called back, “Yeah, I got it making Donuts, how about you? Look, this ain't a good time-

“Joe! Your character is an earth pony, but you took a hex mark. You can use magic!”

Luna looked around at this, confused, “Did thou forget? We already tried that, our horns are useless.”

Topstitch could feel the sweat on his brow. The diamond dogs were directly upon them now, held back only by their sadistic desire to cause fear. The seamster reached for a stone on the ground, scooping it up into his hoof with some trouble. Luna reared up, swinging her hooves at the lead canine, nearly caving in his head. With this distraction the dogs didn't see Topstitch lob his stone, or even notice it until the rock smacked into their leader's dome with an audible thud. The diamond dog did a pirouette, which would've been impressive or at least funny if the ponies weren’t afraid for their lives, then he fell on his face in a puff of dirt.

There was a pause as Joe looked back, appalled, at Topstitch as Luna stared blankly down at the unconscious dog. The diamond dogs shared in the moment of silence, one scratching his head as if this event had changed everything. The peace was short-lived, however. The nearest one swung at Joe with what appeared to be a broomstick with a kitchen knife taped to the end. The donut maker dodged under the swing with a yelp, stumbling backwards out of the weapon's range. Topstitch hooked a hoof around the base of Luna's wing and tugged her backwards as the remainder of the diamond dogs sprung after them, barking and snarling.

“Great plan!” Joe shouted, “Maybe next time we can insult their mothers or somethin' too!”

Topstitch nickered in frustration, ducking under a bramble hanging from a tree. “You need to use magic, Joe, make a smoke-screen, start a fire, I don't care!”

Behind them Luna barreled through bushes and leapt over stones, battling against her wings as her feathers attempted to snag the entire forest. “We have no magic,” she hastily repeated, “our only option is to flee.”

“The marks!” Topstitch shouted, wishing he could swat at Joe's head without losing pace.

“Yea, yea, I got it!” he replied, “I would if I could, pal, but I haven't got a clue. So until I figure it out, keep leggin' it.”

As if to emphasize his point a makeshift spear whistled past them, burying itself into a tree trunk briefly before falling apart. Joe paused, picking up the knife-end of the spear in his teeth before continuing at a sprint. Luna regarded him with alarm, but he was unable to say anything and grip the weapon at the same time. The diamond dogs were gaining on them, unimpeded by the familiar obstacles of the undergrowth. Luna's first instinct was to turn and face them, with or without magic, and give the others time to escape. Of course, neither Joe nor Topstitch would leave her behind, so that only left one option: run faster.

* * *

On the other side of the forest small trees fell left and right. Much to Mwali's ire Trixie had taken to hacking apart everything in their path – and most that wasn't – with quick telekinetic lashes or small pyrotechnics. The swathe of smoldering debris behind them was easy enough to follow for anyone with more than a half-dozen brain cells. The zebra had asked her to stop, but only succeeded in bolstering her attempts to rid the woods of all greenery.

It felt wonderful. Trixie was no stranger to simple magic, but it still came at a cost. Using as much magic as she had would have easily burned out any unicorn back in the real Equestria. Within the confines of the Age of Nightmare system, however, small acts of magic took no toll on the user. Trixie could tear apart the forest for weeks and never run out of energy to power her spells, it was a flawed system, but a fun one. The showmare was enjoying herself so thoroughly that she began to hum a pleasant three-tune melody, even as she whipped her horn back and forth to destroy nature.

Of course, as with everything The Great and Powerful Trixie did, there was a practical purpose as well. Trixie knew, thanks to Mwali's detection spells, that they were nearing the bear's den. If she knew anything about dungeoneering it was that traps could be anywhere and without a thief character it was up to her to find them. Burning away the brush removed one possible hiding spot while telekinetic lashes would sever any tripwires before the duo could walk into them. They had yet to find any evidence of the traps, but far be it from Trixie to cease her fun simply because it seemed unnecessary.

Mwali stopped first, guessing that they had traveled far enough that Trixie would request his magic again. Unfortunately the zebra's detection spell didn't fall under the realm of small magic, and it fatigued him just slightly more with each use. It had already taken a considerable amount of time and energy to figure out how to do it in the first place. Having already cast the spell three times, nearly reducing his walking speed to a crawl, he didn't look forwards to the effect of doing it again.

“Wait!” Trixie cried, seeing as the marks on the zebra's jaw and neck began to glow.

The striped equine gladly complied. The marks burned like hot coals pressed against his skin, even as their light faded and they became once more black and almost indistinguishable from his stripes. Mwali sighed, about to ask if Trixie meant to travel blindly now in addition to razing the woods. Instead his jaw fell agape at the sight before them.

When Socks had mentioned the cave bear they had imagined his home would be a modest, naturally formed abode. What they had not expected was a giant stone archway, easily six or seven ponies high, inscribed with a host of runes rendered illegible by the ages. The massive entry was covered in creeper vines and sagging under its own weight, the opening gaped like the maw of a giant worm, a tunnel of unhewn rock that went on and on into blackness. It looked more like the entrance to the temple of some forgotten god than the resting place of a common bear.

“I knew it,” Trixie said flatly, trotting towards the opening with steps so light she may as well have been floating. “Trixie's intuition pays off once again, she only wishes that high-horse princess were here to witness it.”

“Ooh, yes,” said a familiarly jovial voice. “you two certainly have a unique way of traveling.”

Trixie whirled around, already leveling an accusatory hoof at mid-air as a cloaked pony with an insufferably tacky golf cap materialized in a swirl of black fabric. “Aha! Shown yourself at last, hatter? Well, Trixie doesn't intend to be merciful. As soon as she figures out how you orchestrated this charade The Great and Powerful Trixie will smush your illusion like a pathetic marshmallow underhoof.”

Socks looked confused, “Me? Trix, before we came here I was just a run-of-the-mill earth pony. I know as much about what's going on as either of you... well, I do know that you should probably be watching your backs.”

“What?”

“The thing about fires, they produce smoke. Animals hate the stuff, they lose their minds if they sense a fire near their homes.”

Something stirred within the depths of the tunnel entrance. Mwali narrowed his eyes, trying to get a good look at it. The zebra could hear a rhythmic pounding as the shadow moved closer, and closer. Retreating, he placed a hoof on Trixie's back and attempted to turn her around or wrest her attention from Socks, to no avail.

Trixie was still confused, “What does that matter? You said it was a common cave bear, Trixie's magic is more than enough to deal with a low-level monster like that by herself.”

Thump! Thump! Like his home, the creature that emerged from the cave's entrance was anything but common. The rugged beast stood almost as high as the archway, though his girth only filled it halfway. The bear's fur was thick and wild, his giant head swung back and forth, sniffing at the air. As luck would have it a sudden gust of wind carried the smell of two terrified ponies right to it. The bear gave a low growl, a query and a warning. It was enough to prompt the azure showmare to turn around with almost mechanical movements. Staring down the gargantuan creature, her pupils reduced to pinpricks.

“It’s an oldie, but a goodie. Enchanted monsters only count as basic ones,” Socks giggled to himself. The haberdasher draped his forelegs across Trixie and Mwali’s necks as he whispered, “It’s time for an encounter!”

Comments

[Themaskedferret]

This story just got so much freaking better. Oh Socks you are either a massive troll or more likely so hilariously innocent it hurts.

[Firebirdbtops]

This is great, bears and wheels are like Trixie's kryptonite.

[SneakyKGB]

2054855

Jeez! You're always on top of it. Just minutes after I posted the chapter. You don't know the half of Socks.

2060893

That's what I was thinking when Magic Duel aired, I really need to find a way to slip that reference in to the next few chapters. Glad you enjoyed it. Sharing and dropping a favorite are both appreciated. But really, just reading is enough.

[Firebirdbtops]

2061036 You know, if you think on that for a bit... does it make Snips and Snails into Lex Luthor and Brainiac?

[SneakyKGB]

2061100

That's a crossover for another time...