Angels in Equestria

by ArguingPizza

Dainty Ponies and Deceptive Princesses

Its almost funny how frail ponies are. Its so strange, especially considering how durable normal horses are. Honestly, after standing still in the castle infirmary for nearly a half hour, watching nurses and doctors try to wake up the candy-colored prima donas, I couldn't help but think of how badly they'd handle actual danger. Considering they fainted at their princess turning acting childish(and fainted hard, which I didn't even know was a thing), I had to imagine what would happen if they ever ran into any of the half dozen different varieties of Hell-beast I encounter on a daily basis.

Suffice it to say, the images my imagination conjured were not pretty.

I also couldn't help but notice the special care and attention Celly was paying the purple unicorn. I wondered to myself if perhaps my dear niece had spawned a little daughter and neglected to tell me. I waved away the possibility almost as soon as it entered my mind. Harmonia was a stubborn girl, but my sister taught her girls well before returning to the Heavenly Realm. Surely they'd have the manners to call their favorite uncle if something like that had come up.

Although.....the girl does have Celly's eyes........and her ears. Hmm.

My mental comparisons were brought to an abrupt halt when, once again, I was tackled to the ground. This time though, the hit was from behind, and I distinctly saw dark blue before my face hit tile.

Angel Perk # 4: When in physical form, minor injuries(ex: broken noses) heal almost instantly.

Angel Downside #3: When in physical form, pain(ex: broken noses) still hurts. Sometimes like a bitch(ex: Broken. Fucking. Noses.)

Fortunately for me, the fact that my face was pressed into the floor by the weight of a small horse(or a normal Pony Princess) muffled my pain-moans.

With my free hand(my left arm was pinned under my torso, the result of an unsuccessful attempt at catching myself) I rolled myself over, and came nose-to-nose with my other niece.

“Hello, Lulu. I thought we talked about the nose thing.” I wasn't actually referring to the turning and coming nose-to-nose. Believe it or not this was actually the FOURTH time my darling little moon-pie had broken my nose. Actually quite an impressive score. Not a Demon alive or dead could claim to have hurt me so often.

Unlike Celestia, Luna didn't squeal or or jump on me. No, Luna's style was always more subtle than her sister's, appropriate considering her domain over this solar system's Lunar cycles. Not as flashy as the sun, but more the slow-roaming free spirit. Sometimes appearing during the day, sometimes all day, sometimes only at night, and sometimes not at all. And, above all, easily bored. Reminded me a little of myself, if I was honest.

“Boop.”

The dark blue hoof bounced lightly off my (thank-Dad-and-all-His-Grace)just-healed nose. It may have seemed strange to outsiders, but between Luna and myself, the gesture said things an entire library worth of words couldn't have. Even Celestia didn't quite understand our little code.

“Aaaw come here!” I said as I swept Luna up in a hug of her own. This time, instead of just jumping to my feet, I decided to Feather there.

Now, some context here may come in handy: Feathering(not my idea for the name, but once you get something into Luna's head there is no force in Heaven, Hell, Earth or Purgatory strong enough to remove it) is what happens when an Angel takes physical form, but still needs to move quickly. She named it because sometimes when you Feather you lose a couple of wing feathers.

Imagine the process as willing yourself to be in another place instead of actually moving. It's almost like persuading the universe to morph itself around you so that you change locations. I would try to explain it further, but the last time I tried the person I was explaining it to starved to death before I could finish writing down the first equation.

Also, when Luna was a foal, I MAY have used it to take her on a tour of some of the surrounding Solar Systems, and I'll tell you what I told her at the time: do NOT tell her mom. My life may or may not depend on it.

When we reappeared in the same place, now standing, Luna's smile almost exploded off her face. I could tell it reminded her of our little jaunt around the galaxy, because her eyes shined with.....

Wait.

Her eyes.........The smile slid from my face and was replaced with a look of concern as I closely observed Luna's expression. Luna attempted to lean away from me until I grabbed her face with my gauntlet-ed hands and held her head still. After a few moments of careful examination, my eyes narrowed and I shot a glance at Celestia.

I hadn't noticed it until now, but whenever Celestia glanced at Luna, the slightest hint of guilt entered her features. It became more apparent as I saw her confused expression shift between myself and her sister. I let my hands fall to my sides and straightened myself into an authoritative posture.

“Something happened while I was gone, didn't it.” It wasn't a question.

The two sisters immediately became tense and slightly nervous. Celestia attempted to resist the urge to shuffle her hooves, but caught herself a moment too late. Luna flicked her tail the same way she had the day I caught her trying to sneak an extra cookie after lunch(which I gave to her anyway, of course.)

Their tells* hadn't changed in almost four thousand years, and I immediately knew they were hiding something.

“W-what do you mean, Uncle?” Luna asked. Poor girl. She never was a good liar.

“Um-yes? Whatever are you talking about?” Though compared to her sister, she might as well have been the Patron Saint of Deceit. They may have been good at lying to mortals, but they'd never been able to keep a single secret from me.

I knew they weren't going to give up whatever they were trying to hide easily, and pulling it from them would put me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. Still, I needed to know and-

…....

I'm an idiot.

I resisted the urge to smack myself(barely) as I recalled what I had seen in the throne room: giant stained glass windows. I recalled that when they were foals and had trouble sleeping, I would read them a bed time story. But, the best uncle ever I'd always added a visual element. And guess how I portrayed the stories?

Stained glass window vision(fine, you come up with a better name, Mr. 'I'm Better At Naming Things Than The GODDAMN ANGEL')

With a tiny smile of accomplishment, I set off back to the throne room. Behind me, I'm sure the girls shared a cartoonish look before scrambling after me if the delayed scraping of hooves on tile was any indicator.

Originally, I was going to walk on my normal meat-legs, but I feel I must point out just how easily I can become bored. Less than ten seconds of walking nearly put me in a waking coma, and I instead simply Feathered into the throne room.

I scanned the high windows all around me, looking for anything unusual. Behind me I heard and felt air rush by me, displaced by twin teleportation spells. Before either sister could even begin to usher me away, my eyes locked on a huge representation of two ponies. One pink, one blue. Celestia and Luna, minus a few thousand years or so. The pink one wore a familiar looking yoke around her neck, and the dark blue one wore unusually threatening armor, and had strangely predatory eyes.

And they.

Were.

Fighting.

*For those unfamiliar with the term, a 'tell' is a poker term that refers to a small action or twitch that indicates stress, usually a bad hand or in this case deception

Alright, that's chapter 3. Tell me what you guys think

Comments

[ArguingPizza]

1611288
Don't worry, there will be definite checks on his power. He's not gonna be OP super-cheat codes

[Aloysius]

Overall, awesome story.

[006spykiller]

Interesting indeed