Extraterrestrial #51

by TundraStanza

Ch. 1: They're Not Made of Cheese

They're Not Made of Cheese

---

Tonight was an average Tuesday night. Well, that's not really true if one counts the fact that none of the existing calendars labeled it as a Tuesday. My computer, the online timelines, and even my physical calendar now told me that the day was called "Thorsday". That made no sense whatsoever. But then again, how could I expect things to make sense where Discord was involved?

It was a little over a week ago when the worldwide phenomenon became public. Lauren Faust, the creator and first executive producer of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, held a press conference. Yeah, that was relatively big news in itself. What made it bigger news was how she looked. She was Princess Celestia. I'm not joking. It wasn't a costume, an elaborate prank, or digital recreation. She was the flesh and fur Celestia!

I remember my jaw dropping pretty far when I saw this on Equestria Daily. I don't quite recall every detail that she covered. All I caught distinctly was that bronies were starting to turn into ponies, Discord was real, and that the Element of Harmony bearers needed to come to New York as soon as possible. Shaking myself out of shock, I quickly went to double-check this situation with other websites. This conference was surprisingly one of the top stories on CNN. There was also a mess of Twitter comments about the "ponification". The video of the conference on Youtube was getting several comments from likers, haters, and those that were just plain confused. Though, this did give me the information that Tara Strong had become Luna (which is kind of odd, because I always assumed Luna was Tabitha St Germain's forte).

I'm not sure whether I was amazed or disappointed at how little the event actually affected my personal life. I still went to school, still took exams, and still played my Nintendo DS during free time (still trying to catch Kyurem on my copy of Pokemon Black Version. The walkthroughs made that look a whole lot easier). I was amazed that I could maintain my diligence as a socially awkward student working towards an accounting major. At the same time, I was disappointed that I brushed off the news of increasing real-world pastel ponies just like I ignored the War on Terror. I guess attempting to go about business as usual was my coping mechanism for when things got strange.

Anyway, last night was the second night of Discord's made up weekdays, "Thorsday". Seriously, Discord? You used the god of thunder to name a day? Odinson would have been ashamed if he ever met you. That, or he'd use his hammer to pummel you and then toss you into the sun like he did to Raiden in that one episode of Death Battle. Whichever came first, I guess. Though, judging from that slightly more recent video of your clone pretending to be Slenderman's illegitimate cousin SCP-173, I would guess that you weren't going to try to fight gods anytime soon.

Interestingly, my college professors sent messages to all their students that read, "Due to system malfunctions and confusion of actual days, all classes at this time are cancelled until further notice." That happened on Monday, er "Marsday". (Sheesh, Discord, was there anything I couldn't blame on you?) Still, I wasn't complaining about getting school off for the next couple of weeks. Though, if they were going to be cancelled for the length of time that Discord had turned a week into, that would mean that I wouldn't ever step on campus for a whole year. That was great as a vacation, but not so great for how much longer I'd have to wait to finally get a degree and possibly secure a job in this failing economy. Victory was bittersweet.

After apologizing to the ten watchers I had on FiMfiction for taking so long to update, I shutdown my laptop and got ready for bed. I was glad that some things would never change.

---

Wagnesday
8:30 AM
Cier Dylan's Bedroom

~HEYYYYYY! Sexy lady!
Op, op, op, op, Oppa Gangnam Style!~

Daughter of Athena! I thought in annoyance, Why the frig did I pick that Korean pop star as my phone's alarm?

I extended out my arm to silence the noise that dared to interrupt my slumber. I heard a crash and a crinkle before the ruckus subsided. I groaned in shame.

"Great, I just killed my phone," is what I would have said if I didn't stop on the fourth word. The reason I stopped was because my voice didn't sound as smooth and... tenor as usual. In fact, it sounded like a messed up cross between a cough and a harsh whisper.

"Fan-tipping-flastic," I hacked (I wasn't really coughing, but it sure sounded like it.), "I've killed my phone and I've got a cold."

I lied there for a bit just staring at the ceiling, which was only interrupted by my occasional, slow blinking. Sighing through my allegedly scratchy throat, I decided that I might as well get up. Some doctors said that bed rest was the best treatment for a cold. Others said that staying active and drinking plenty of fluids was the better option. I respected the advice of the second category of doctors.

Though, as I tried to edge myself to sit up and get out of bed, a part of my leg got caught up in the twisted blankets. The blankets hit the floor followed immediately by my belly and my chin.

This is a bad sign, I thought.

I tried to lift myself on my hands and knees. As soon as I had, however, my legs felt like they were fully straightened out. That didn't make any sense. My back still felt as though it were parallel to the floor. I decided to try and take a look at how my body could be in a comfortable quadruped position.

"What?" I stammer-coughed.

Where my pajama-covered legs should have been, there were instead black limbs with what looked like transparent holes in them. Had the ponification pandemic finally claimed me as well? But if that were the case, what kind of pony had holes in their legs... and a blue shell that resembled a beetle's wings? Suddenly filled with the desire to find a mirror, I attempted to hurriedly crawl. I was immediately stopped by my chin hitting the floor again.

How could I believe those liar fan fics? I berated myself, I'm in a completely different body! Of course I need to relearn walking.

Slowly straightening my legs out again, I rose to the height that this pony body could lift me. I then decided to slowly advance my legs in a simple one-two-three-four pattern. It was tedious and slow. To an outsider, I probably looked really ridiculous while mobilizing, but it beat joining the floor in matrimony. After what felt like ages, I finally managed to look at myself in the full-length bedroom mirror.

"What the frig?" I whisper-hacked.

I was not in a pony's body. Oh, no. I was way off with my first assumption. Those solid blue eyes with just a white light for a pupil, those fangs, those holes in those coal-black limbs, and that short curved horn belonged to only one creature from the Equestrian universe.

I stared in shock and a bit of horror at the changeling in the mirror as he in turn looked in shock at me.

---

Wagnesday
8:35 AM
Cier Dylan's Bedroom

Breathe, Cier! Breathe! urged my thoughts. I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath for so long. As a result, my inhaling and exhaling were somewhat long and ragged. I closed my eyes to help ease my breathing down to calmer levels. After that, I slowly opened them to look at the creature in the looking-glass.

How could this happen? I thought, The bronies were supposed to turn into ponies. Why am I a monster?

A changeling was basically a mindless drone who served no one but their queen. Its primary source of nutrition was love energy that it devoured from its victims. Like swarms of locusts, they destroyed lands and terrorized the city of Canterlot. The only word that could describe such a creature was monster.

Oh, sure. The fandom could pretend otherwise. The community could write stories of reformed changelings. They could draw "kawaii" pictures of baby changelings. They could even write songs that questioned if they were really so bad. But in the end, I knew better. The show was the only canonical information on these mother flippers. Changelings were heartless through and through. That's why they had to, in essence, steal the hearts of ponies.

So why did I become one of them? I asked mentally. With a rasp, I sighed knowing fully well that I wasn't going to find that answer by just standing there and gawking at my reflection. Interestingly enough, a gurgling noise that vibrated my torso area provided the perfect distraction.

"Can changelings even eat solid food?" I mutter-wheezed. There was only one way to find out.

But first, there was one major obstacle I had overlooked after waking up this morning. The doorknob was perfect for fingers to wrap around and twist. This was not made for a hoof or whatever a changeling's front limb was called. (I opted to just call it hoof for future simplicity.)

"Wait, duh!" I donked myself on the head, "I'm a changeling. Magic should be a breeze."

Oh, how wrong was I? Let me count the ways. Closing my eyes and pretending to use the force produced zero results. Aiming my horn at the knob and verbally saying, "Alohamora," also did nothing. I even tried saying, "Accio door!" I was getting frustrated to the point of haphazardly scraping the door just underneath the knob repeatedly with my messed up excuses for hooves. I was starting to get really upset at myself for not being able to do something as mundane as opening a door.

Breathe, Cier, my thoughts insisted. I obliged by closing my eyes and inhaling deeply before exhaling. I looked at the doorknob again if I could try one last thing. Magic wasn't a verbal thing in Equestria after all. It required years of study to control properly. Still, maybe gentleness and patience were the keys here.

Reducto. I heard the sound of a small firework as I watched a thin, green beam reach out to the doorknob. There was an explosion of green smoke and I had to look away from the bright light that resulted. When I could see again, the knob literally melted from its position. The door swung inward slightly without the piece of metal holding it shut.

What happened to gentle and patient? I thought to myself, How am I supposed to explain that to my dad?

Idly, I bit my hole-filled hoof in anxiety. While it didn't hurt that much, I immediately spat and removed it from my mouth.

That isn't cheese, I chuckled insincerely.

Comments

[TundraStanza]

I typed this up on a whim.
It probably won't get updated that often.

[A mess]

39 likes but only one comment and its from the AUTHOR? weird...
anyways like it so far will be tracking though going see where it goes before actually faving.

Also I would be careful saying things like "this isn't cheese" with discord running around.... I suppose the chances of him actually being near by when he has the whole world to mess with might be slim but you still might want to be cautious.

Edit:
oh! the other comments are attached to chapter two, that makes sense.

[TundraStanza]

Due to a strong suggestion by one of the group's moderators, chapter 2 is coming down for a bit for some heavy editing.
It'll be back soon, but it won't have quite the quality that I had originally imagined.
I apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause.

[Andreno]

Refrences, refrences everywhere.

Way too many references to pop culture and other things. I know it's cool once or twice, but after the fifth refrence to some pop culture thing it gets old FAST.

[A friendly face]

No, that wasn't cheese. In fact, that's a very odd form of cannibalism.

[Rocky Runner]

So... is he going to get talked to by Chrysalis? Well... maybe not, perhaps some poor sucker has already turned into her.

Hey, at least he's still a guy! Wait, do Changelings even have those differences between each other?

[HF Fury]

I'm not certain why it bothers me but Thursday actually comes from Thor's name. A part of me wanted to smack the MC upside the back of his head for his comment about that.

[JazzyWaffles]

This is an odd window into 2012 pony culture... PonyEarthVerse is a series I always found too big to grt into, and given the premise as you described it, I'm sorta glad I stayed away. I'll finish reading this incomplete one out of curiosity though.